I had enough of faith and belief in God

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I am sorry I followed a christian faith. I had enough of a God in the sky that abuses me to find some flaws and pulls me apart on my physical appearance.
I am so against anyone being victimised on their body
I followed a Christian faith to have a God who would love me all the time no matter what because people often fail.
I am sick of being put in compromising situations and hurt and pulled apart by humans and not having a God who understands my struggles
God should love autistics no matter how they think, we are some of the most vulnerable.
I used to love God and feel Him all the time and He used to offer me strength, guidance and love.
I am tired and of not getting the love and things I deserve.

 

[Wolfnox]

Lass. Hear me. There’s a lot you’re not saying. I don’t know your situation. But, the one thing I know without a shadow of a doubt is that God loves you and everyone he has ever created.
The guidance is written in the Bible.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I'm a bit agnostic, but I don't see why god wouldn't love people with autism. Although, it's probably pretty normal to lose (and regain) faith at particular intervals in life. What made you think that god wouldn't love people on the spectrum, though?

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Lass. Hear me. There’s a lot you’re not saying. I don’t know your situation. But, the one thing I know without a shadow of a doubt is that God loves you and everyone he has ever created.
The guidance is written in the Bible.

Well no matter what..
Tell him to not steal my sunshine and sparkle or let other woman steal it.
Because I'm a vulnerable person in society and not perfect and subhuman.
Please pray for me because I am really sick and there is no one to help and very fearful.

 

[tree]

@lovely_darlingprettybaby

You sound very unhappy.

If you are physically sick, are you receiving treatment?

You said you are fearful.
Do you have a therapist/counselor that you talk to regularly?

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I'm a bit agnostic, but I don't see why god wouldn't love people with autism. Although, it's probably pretty normal to lose (and regain) faith at particular intervals in life. What made you think that god wouldn't love people on the spectrum, though?

To be honest it has to do with His holy spirit and the fact He chose me for faith but forgot to give me all it's gifts
And I wonder if it is because I think different have issues with sribbornness
Why do you think the bible is written, rule book or guidance book?
Faith has too many rigid beliefs and philosophies people claim to follow
That are too rigid and hard for an autistic.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

@lovely_darlingprettybaby

You sound very unhappy.

If you are physically sick, are you receiving treatment?

You said you are fearful.
Do you have a therapist/counselor that you talk to regularly?

No not at the moment.
Thank you for the concern.
Just with trauma and cptsd you can feel not listened to.
I have cptsd.
Autistic counselors are hard to find around here, I also need proper diagnosis to make sure.
I think I will try to look into it again.

 

[Wolfnox]

Because I'm a vulnerable person in society and not perfect and subhuman.

Change that thinking immediately!
We are still people. Just with a few extra honorifics no one else can handle.

Why do you think the bible is written, rule book or guidance book?

Both.

 

[Wolfnox]

To be honest it has to do with His holy spirit and the fact He chose me for faith but forgot to give me all it's gifts

How do you know?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

Finally you agree with me. I once believe that God was great. I waited a waited for friends and a relationship but all I gotten was real acquaintances that I thought were friends. No girlfriend. Just God playing with me. Rubbing in relationships and success from other believers and non believers while most single girls don't even give me the time of day.

I have to hear from my so called friend acquaintance all the time that I am obsessed but he is happy married, meet his wife at that very church I been attending for four and a half years now and he even has a new son.

While a life group member recent married has a new born son. Whole another live group member is expecting. While another group has a daughter and another group is expecting their second daughter. Yet I can't even get a coffee date. Yet I have no problem getting a a park hang with a Christian married man. Pathetic God is.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

B

How do you know?

Because it offers peace unspeakable and helps you trust two gifts I do not have.
This all began when I started my spiritual journey on Proverbs and understood it and gained the spirit if wisdom but dropped it.
And my whole life would be better if I had no started in the chapter proverbs.
What chapter did u start on?

 

[Tony Ramirez]

I came back to God after 15 years my so called friends abondonded me when they all got married and coupled up and only wanted to hang out with couples. Even then I was single.

I came back when my server autistic sister neay died. I cried out to him. I should have never found a church and came back. It was more singleness then ever.

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Finally you agree with me. I once believe that God was great. I waited a waited for friends and a relationship but all I gotten was real acquaintances that I thought were friends. No girlfriend. Just God playing with me. Rubbing in relationships and success from other believers and non believers while most single girls don't even give me the time of day.

I have to hear from my so called friend acquaintance all the time that I am obsessed but he is happy married, meet his wife at that very church I been attending for four and a half years now and he even has a new son.

While a life group member recent married has a new born son. Whole another live group member is expecting. While another group has a daughter and another group is expecting their second daughter. Yet I can't even get a coffee date. Yet I have no problem getting a a park hang with a Christian married man. Pathetic God is.

It is ok I get angry too
It is ok if you get impatient, you are autistic. You know even people in the bible grew impatient, moses, cain, jonah..they were not perfect
I believe God has a good plan for.you, it is OK if you struggle to believe and are impatient.
God understands you in your struggle.
You just have to believe you are worth someone good.
That someone nice will like you because some woman are not looking for the 'perfect man'

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

I came back to God after 15 years my so called friends abondonded me when they all got married and coupled up and only wanted to hang out with couples. Even then I was single.

I came back when my server autistic sister neay died. I cried out to him. I should have never found a church and came back. It was more singleness then ever.

You are wrong, you should be there because God loves you as well.
And God understands your impatience.
You just need to talk to Him.
He loves you for you.

 

[Judge]

I followed a Christian faith to have a God who would love me all the time no matter what because people often fail.

Perhaps such an explanation of our cosmic existence is found elsewhere, and not necessarily within the confines of any one religion and so much of its man-made dogma.

That we don't live a pious mortal existence only to earn a right "to go to heaven", but rather we came from there to temporarily experience mortality. To deliberately live an frail and flawed existence exclusively for us to learn lessons that we cannot possibly learn- or appreciate on our primary plane of existence as immortal souls. So when we "transcend" back to our primary existence, while we retain all the pain of a past mortal reincarnation, we experience no mental or emotional pain as an eternal being. Which is our natural state.

In essence an eternal soul likely chose of our own will to come back as an autistic person. Think of the cosmic lessons to learn, as painful as so many of them seem while on this plane of existence. And that this explains so much regarding those of us with even more severe conditions to contend with. That for whatever reason, we choose to come back with certain physical and emotional conditions as a challenge of sorts, all with the intent of enriching our eternal souls.

That the more we temporarily suffer as mortals, the more we learn and gain perspective as immortals.

That God loves us all, but also recognizes all the pain and heartache we must endure as mortal souls. And that when we return to our natural state of being, it will all be only painless memories to give us perspective that we otherwise cannot experience as immortal souls. And that indeed, bad things happen to good people- by design.

That is "God's Plan", IMO. Far less complicated than so many religions may claim. Small wonder that while I have God, I have no need of any particular mortal religion.

 

[Aspychata]

If you look at other cultures, some actually believe that we are meant to suffer, that it is our plight in life. Often l see my struggles as something l must overcome to become a better person, a challenge that l am up against. For everything l suffer thru, there are thousands of people worse off then me, and probably thousands of people better off than me. So l try to help who l can, who may be worse off then me. It helps me keep my misery in context. Lately, this person let me help them keep their house, otherwise they would have been evicted. I needed patience to work with them, but l got there. Now when l see them, l smile and feel that l made a difference instead of just focusing on myself. You too can make a difference. You can volunteer, ask a elderly neighbor if they need help, go to the pet rescue to volunteer. These small acts will give you happiness and that you do matter thru acts of service for others. Maybe in the end, helping others is the biggest lesson we can take away in our lifetime. To just focus on our misery in this lifetime won't change our misery, maybe focusing on something else would be more helpful. And l say this only with kindness.

 

[Tony Ramirez]

You are wrong, you should be there because God loves you as well.
And God understands your impatience.
You just need to talk to Him.
He loves you for you.

I am questioning that. I went to their dinner yesterday and the couples talked to me, the woman with the boyfriend talked to me but the one single woman would not give me the time of day and I sat right next to her. It was only the six of us, me, plus a 3 year old girl. Also she been their a few times before totally ignored me then too.

I remember when I first approached her at church how standoffish she was. She was talking to this guy who could barely speak English for over ten minutes so after she was done I nervous went up to her and said. Hi my name is Tony. She said her name. Then said I have to put away the tables. That was the last thing she ever said too me. What a snob. Only me she ignores. She talks to everyone else. This is how most single women treat me and yes I blame God.

 

[LadyS]

If you look at other cultures, some actually believe that we are meant to suffer, that it is our plight in life. Often l see my struggles as something l must overcome to become a better person, a challenge that l am up against. For everything l suffer thru, there are thousands of people worse off then me, and probably thousands of people better off than me. So l try to help who l can, who may be worse off then me. It helps me keep my misery in context. Lately, this person let me help them keep their house, otherwise they would have been evicted. I needed patience to work with them, but l got there. Now when l see them, l smile and feel that l made a difference instead of just focusing on myself. You too can make a difference. You can volunteer, ask a elderly neighbor if they need help, go to the pet rescue to volunteer. These small acts will give you happiness and that you do matter thru acts of service for others. Maybe in the end, helping others is the biggest lesson we can take away in our lifetime. To just focus on our misery in this lifetime won't change our misery, maybe focusing on something else would be more helpful. And l say this only with kindness.

These are ideas that resonate more with me and the religion I was born into. That life is more of a test.. not a "what can I get out of it" but "what can I put into it without expecting anything in return". I believe this is what I've learned about living as an "embodiment of Christ" as well, to be selfless. And that if you accomplish this you get 'rewarded' in the afterlife. In Hinduism, you learn from your mistakes, correct them, and have faith you move on to a better life. That is the ultimate test of your faith, the patience of the "waiting game" and looking at the bigger picture. At least from my own learnings.

 

[Judge]

I sometimes wonder if and when a single reincarnation may be intended only to help a certain other soul at a specific time and place. And have only that one purpose intended.

But then as immortal souls, I can see how magnanimous we may actually be. Imagine that at some point of our life, we may have profoundly helped someone, and yet may have no recollection that we did. And that it may have been intended as such. Without any earthy thought of being rewarded.

In any event I enjoy the prospect of being who we really are as immortals, opposed to how we appear as mortals. That when we have earth, we have no need of a "hell". - Yet all by design.

 

[Kitsuna]

I have a complicated relationship with Christianity, but I was raised Catholic in the Deep South in a church-and-Sunday school-weekly family and your OP gives me the (blunt) impression you’re around Christians that aren’t very educated about autism and therefore things have gone sideways when trying to reconcile it with faith. Nothing I’ve ever heard suggests God dislikes/hates autistic people. He totally loves you. Don’t let people make you believe otherwise.