I might need help to understand

[All-Rounder]

I can see you endear him and want to trust him and work things with him but he is letting you down often. He might not be that good of a man as you tend to say he is. Love is also blinding on the negatives sometimes, especially with an insecure attachment style [this is my style, im not sure what is yours].

 

[NiniS29]

I got many explanations from my ex who was on the spectrum, like that, after he would tell me truthful things at anger. Those things are his feelings, even if negative. How could he elaborately tell you hes not attracted to you out of not knowing what to say in the moment? He could have just said the last part without needing to express the first. But for some reason he felt the need to add it, and I think those are his true feelings. It might be hard to accept but he might have been honest.

He didn’t say it in anger he said it in panic . And he’s true feelings not even he understands and I know one thing when he says things in that moment he just does so you leave him alone there were more stuff said in this outburst and stuff wich I never did or ever happened so what with does things he said in a meltdown outburst or anger if they were not even true but his way out to reality.

He explained himself when he did calm down. He said to me he was hiding the fact that nothing seem to work physically for him and he felt like he lets me down so he freaked out and didn’t want to have anything to doe whith any form of physical touch. Because the truth is he can’t stand it you can clearly see it plus it freakes him out because he has not always Ben like this. Since his major outburst he changed completely

 

[All-Rounder]

I still have doubts and especially when he disrespects you, but I hope for your sake he is not lying and is willing to work things out.

 

[NiniS29]

I still have doubts and especially when he disrespects you, but I hope for your sake he is not lying and is willing to work things out.

If one has doubts than its me. You know every day but I also know things and situations like he said things that I never did or happened. I don’t think he has a choice of respect. He regrets things and stuff but is also sad when he is rude to me wich he said. He feels ungrateful than
Wich has nothing to do with anything. He can’t just control it and for him avaoiding a situation wich is in his belief the fault is how he thinks is coping but that will not work ultimately because he already had outburst outside and stuff even with not me. He is triggered also by one person especially in his office. So it’s not easy with him. Lies always come out you know

 

[All-Rounder]

I think you could benefit on finding activities to do like take a walk and try to start slowly focusing on activities and that may help you deal with him not being around. Find new friends or online friends and games if possible, or something to watch that is enjoyable and comedic. I have a suggestion if you want, I personally like watching these cats.

 

[NiniS29]

I think you could benefit on finding activities to do like take a walk and try to start slowly focusing on activities and that may help you deal with him not being around. Find new friends or online friends and games if possible, or something to watch that is enjoyable and comedic. I have a suggestion if you want, I personally like watching these cats.

You are right but we are long distance at the moment to both deal with personal issues and what Hase happend between us. So I don’t see him very often we make time once a week to see each other if we can manage because of jobs and stuff I’m a pastry chef and he is a sound Ingenieure so we both are busy in a different ways wich is good so wen we work we work fully with our brains . Wich keeps us destructed in a good way.

than in my free time I need space to and some walks in the nature to calm down . I’m mostly very stressed to.

Thank you for the cat videos I love cats I had some but now I have no time. I will definitely watch it

 

[Sarah S]

="NiniS29, post: 673910, member: 22350"]I understand it better now after many months that he never ment it that way. He just needed something quick to say to keep me away but sadly it was hurtful and I steel feel like he thinks I’m unattractive or such. That he doesn’t like me actually so I always have to be careful to not slide bin that thought.

" I agree "

it’s tough because it cracked my confidence a lot.

" I compleatly understand "

He just feels also very uncomfortable for voicing any feelings.

" Thats comes from he is a MAN dear "

He would say things back but like last week when I was very happy and I just did write him in the morning that I’m happy and I love him. He just ignores the word I love you mostly as it seems when I write it. I don’t do often . But when I say it also very rarely he says it back wich I don’t get still and it confuses me where I am at sometimes.

" Again first he is a man and second if he also is on the spectrum it certainly dont make this sensible stuff easier thats for shore "

It is difficult I will not lie but I think he is a good men

" Oh i understand & as i said it takes a certain person to be able to live and or having a relationship with someone with a diagnose BUT as i also said i agree he seems like a good man only very lost right now "

 

[NiniS29]

="NiniS29, post: 673910, member: 22350"]I understand it better now after many months that he never ment it that way. He just needed something quick to say to keep me away but sadly it was hurtful and I steel feel like he thinks I’m unattractive or such. That he doesn’t like me actually so I always have to be careful to not slide bin that thought.

" I agree "

it’s tough because it cracked my confidence a lot.

" I compleatly understand "

He just feels also very uncomfortable for voicing any feelings.

" Thats comes from he is MAN dear "

He would say things back but like last week when I was very happy and I just did write him in the morning that I’m happy and I love him. He just ignores the word I love you mostly as it seems when I write it. I don’t do often . But when I say it also very rarely he says it back wich I don’t get still and it confuses me where I am at sometimes.
" Again first he is a man and second if he also is on the spectrum it certainly dont make this sensible stuff easier thats for shore "

It is difficult I will not lie but I think he is a good men

" Oh i understand & as i said it takes a certain person to be able to live and or having a relationship with someone with a diagnose BUT as i also said i agree he seems like a good man only very lost right now "

i can see what you mean way clearer now and also get now the idea how he means certain things
. It is and will be hard also I think that he probably somehow loves me. But he Definitely he a different way of showing he always calls me by a nickname he gave me. He never says my name or such. And calls me fancy or cool and has special words wich is kind of funny and like a kid
but i assume it’s his way of showing.

I want to give him proper time and support also not moan at him anymore or be unhappy about unnecessary stuff. And be proud of what he does. Because in first place I loved how different he saw things and felt like he seemed to see and feel the same way as I did that’s why we got along in the first place. And I don’t want to lose this person . If i have to go through this with him ,also to make him fell better after or he finally understands that he is a great guy who deserves to be treated well than I will

 

[Sarah S]

="NiniS29, post: 673973, member: 22350"]i can see what you mean way clearer now and also get now the idea how he means certain things

" Thats great and a BIG step in the right direktion "

. It is and will be hard also I think that he probably somehow loves me.

" Some seems to disagree with me but i still claim this is pretty obvius he does. "

But he Definitely he a different way of showing he always calls me by a nickname he gave me. He never says my name or such. And calls me fancy or cool and has special words wich is kind of funny and like a kid
but i assume it’s his way of showing.

" It all comes straight from his heart im shore "
I want to give him proper time and support also not moan at him anymore or be unhappy about unnecessary stuff. And be proud of what he does. Because in first place I loved how different he saw things and felt like he seemed to see and feel the same way as I did that’s why we got along in the first place. And I don’t want to lose this person . If i have to go through this with him ,also to make him fell better after or he finally understands that he is a great guy who deserves to be treated well than I will

" Well spoken indeed "