If you are on the autistic spectrum, are you or have you been in a romantic relationship?

[Jonn]

Could we please take a brief intermission and have some virtual snacks and drinks please?

Done!

 

[Judge]

I'm at a loss for words. I think everyone on this board has freedom to have their own opinions. It's just I was hoping to get some good advice and wisdom. And now I feel more lost.

From my own observation over the years here, I'd suspect you'd be disappointed to discover that our reality reflects very few successful and long-lasting relationships.

That at best what amounts to a "handful" of members who have sustained long term relationships with Neurotypical partners. Maybe they can post their experiences in this thread as well. We also have had at least four autistic members who found love and marriage with one another, however as far as I know they all ended in divorce.

If this thread seems a bit grim, it's just reflecting the reality for the majority of us single autistic adults. I can certainly relate to the desire of reconnecting relationships of the past, however I can also attest to how arduous they can be to successfully rekindle them.

With particular focus on whether or not a friend or partner had issues with our autistic traits and behaviors.

 

[Jonn]

That at best what amounts to a "handful" of members who have sustained long term relationships with Neurotypical partners. Maybe they can post their experiences in this thread as well. We also have had at least four autistic members who found love and marriage with one another, however as far as I know they all ended in divorce.

Autism is a social disability.
I think I will find little disagreement with that statement.
It makes things very difficult in maintaining a lasting relationship, imo.

One of the problems we have is a need of personal space.
As a group, information overload can cause triggering/meltdowns.
Both those things can create difficulties in a significant-other relationship.

Lack of "Theory of Mind" is another element confusing/complicating the situation, and this is why direct communication is so important rather than trying to guess what your partner is thinking and feeling.

Also, consider Alexithymia.
Many on the spectrum have difficulty in processing their own emotions, let alone identifying the emotional responses of others.

As you can see, as a group, we have been "blessed" when it comes to personal relationships. <irony>

 

[Jonn]

If this thread seems a bit grim, it's just reflecting the reality for the majority of us single autistic adults. I can certainly relate to the desire of reconnecting relationships of the past, however I can also attest to how arduous they can be to successfully rekindle them.

With particular focus on whether or not a friend or partner had issues with our autistic traits and behaviors.

Our fate for many of us, it seems:

Tantalus (Ancient Greek: Τάνταλος Tántalos), also called Atys, was a Greek mythological figure, most famous for his punishment in Tartarus: for trying to trick the gods into eating his son, he was made to stand in a pool of water beneath a fruit tree with low branches, with the fruit ever eluding his grasp, and the water always receding before he could take a drink.

Tantalus - Wikipedia

 

[Jonn]

For the women:

Spoiler

 

[Jonn]

For the men:

Spoiler

 

[Trophonius]

I haven't.
I'm unlovable, I think. That's why I keep distance from people.

 

[Jonn]

I haven't.
I'm unlovable, I think. That's why I keep distance from people.

My grand pappy used to say:

Spoiler

"Most pain comes from other people."