If you are on the autistic spectrum, are you or have you been in a romantic relationship?

[AprilR]

I did not read the whole thread, but i do agree with Seladon. Being called a slut is not equal to the "incel" term. One of these terms has been historically used to demean, victim blame and basically abuse women. It is by no means comparable.

 

[Kavigant]

It is only now, having lost about 90% of my libido, that I am able to see how strong the biological imperative was in me (and, presumably, still is in so many others).

It honestly feels as though an extremely resource-intensive subroutine has been running in my CPU/brain's background for decades, throwing off almost every calculation I've ever had to do about almost anything - and that subroutine has finally stopped running.

This experience taught me very powerfully how much we can be controlled by deep evolutionary drives without being conscious of it.

 

[Judge]

However, some don't have that mating instinct at all.
I certainly don't and never did.

The "trick" is to unravel parental/social indoctrination and discover who you really are.
For most, this occurs during adolescence, something that I suspect happens at a later date for many on the spectrum, myself included.

Another horrendous aspect of social indoctrination is the media. It still uses sex only to sell, and sends a message that isn't really true, but rather just a means of generating revenue. Yet it continues to work quite well. Yet another hurdle to overcome. Men and women are positively buried in toxic advertising perpetuating some really cruel ideas.

 

[Jonn]

The ‘evolutionary urge’ argument is very insidious, and usually a pipeline to the enculturation of forced marriage & breeding, government mandated wives, rap3 as legal practise, etc.

This is were education/critical-thinking is important to convert sheeple into full-blown individuals, weaned off a collectivist mindset.

It is important to understand the biological/psychological/chemical influences that affect our thinking.
Just realising/recognising that "evolutionary urges" exists is the first step towards greater personal emancipation, obviously.
We don't have to be dominated by them, and thereby we have greater autonomy over our individualistic lives.

 

[Kavigant]

This is were education/critical-thinking is important to convert sheeple into full-blown individuals, weaned off a collectivist mindset.

It is important to understand the biological/psychological/chemical influences that affect our thinking.
Just realising/recognising that "evolutionary urges" exists is the first step towards greater personal emancipation, obviously.
We don't have to be dominated by them, and thereby we have greater autonomy over our individualistic lives.

Jonn, you seem to have the gift of succinctness, which I desperately envy.

 

[Jonn]

It is only now, having lost about 90% of my libido, that I am able to see how strong the biological imperative was in me (and, presumably, still is in so many others).

We are in the same testosterone boat.
How are you enjoying your andropause?
I am reveling in mine.

Hail to the intellect!

Using the big head, rather than the little.

 

[Jonn]

Jonn, you seem to have the gift of succinctness, which I desperately envy.

Necessity.
Hard won.
The more you write, the greater the potential trouble you can get yourself into.

 

[Kavigant]

We are in the same testosterone boat.
How are you enjoying your andropause?
I am reveling in mine.

Hail to the intellect!

Using the big head, rather than the little.

I feel so much better. I care so much less about silly things and feel so much more free and uncluttered, internally.

 

[Magna]

Little if any of these currently contentious issues will likely exist if the future of our species continues. If children can be grown womb-less and AI robot companions become next-level, will there even be a widespread need for romantic human relationships?

Those would probably always exist on some level, but we're already entering a new phase of the digital age where each person's experience of life and reality is starting to be curated down to an individual level by the "algorithms" level of human programming. Meaning, the things that shape your life, digitally (e.g. Social Media, Streaming Media, Youtube, Internet Search Engines, etc), are shaping them in a way that's very different than your neighbor's experience, or their neighbor's, etc. Almost completely isolated from each other. Like a modern day Tower of Babel coming, where we will be hard pressed to even really be able to relate to each other as people. We're headed there now.

Divide and conquer.

 

[Kavigant]

I am of the opinion that the movie Idiocracy, despite being criminally unfunny, is as important a warning as 1984 and Brave New World.

 

[Jonn]

I feel so much better. I care so much less about silly things and feel so much more free and uncluttered, internally.

I have always wanted to be like this.
"Sex is a 'funny' joke."

 

[Jonn]

I did not read the whole thread, but i do agree with Seladon. Being called a slut is not equal to the "incel" term. One of these terms has been historically used to demean, victim blame and basically abuse women. It is by no means comparable.

No offence, but this thread is about "Romantic Relationships."
It seems to have gotten off topic.
I hope we can get it back on track.

 

[AprilR]

No offence, but this thread is about "Romantic Relationships."
It seems to have gotten off topic.
I hope we can get it back on track.

None taken, although to me it is not offtopic. In my experience women have to be extra cautious in their interactions with men in case they come off as a "slut" and this might prevent them from forming romantic relationships where they don't get treated like trash. So it is a social problem, esp. Adding autism in it and not being able to tell "red flags" so to speak.

I wanted to add this because on autism forums i always see men complaining about not being able to form romantic relationships and how women have it easier. And to me women def. Don't have it easier, esp. If you live in a horribly sexist society where men hide their true character and you are too socially disabled to tell someone is lying to you.

 

[Magna]

It is only now, having lost about 90% of my libido, that I am able to see how strong the biological imperative was in me (and, presumably, still is in so many others).

It honestly feels as though an extremely resource-intensive subroutine has been running in my CPU/brain's background for decades, throwing off almost every calculation I've ever had to do about almost anything - and that subroutine has finally stopped running.

This experience taught me very powerfully how much we can be controlled by deep evolutionary drives without being conscious of it.

Humans are affected so greatly by hormones. The needs, desires and behaviors respectively inherent between the sexes driven by hormone levels. One's "needs" in certain areas can be completely different than the other's...driven by hormone levels. I agree with you the power of which at their peak (e.g. testosterone) is almost insane.

 

[Seladon]

You sound just like what you hate.

"Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... ”
—Friedrich Nietzsche.

Perhaps I shall have to re-scan my Zarathustra, but: didn’t dear departed Friedrich decide that men were a greater monstrosity than Gods & women combined? And that no-one more than males suffered with ressentiment? As anyone knows he does express distinctly Neolithic chauvinism in Beyond Goods & Evil, however in other texts he lauds women for their perceived moral and spiritual superiority.

So, since you so badly want to talk about the old dead Saxon, which calcified notion of his are you taking as gospel? Just curious.

No offence, but this thread is about "Romantic Relationships."
It seems to have gotten off topic.
I hope we can get it back on track.

Again untrue. It didn’t get off the topic entirely, it merely deviated into a related tangential debate (not to me, I didn’t feel strenuously challenged). I do agree it was unpleasant business.

I’ve noticed a really interesting phenomenon on this board; that whenever a woman or girl expresses a strong uncomfortable relevant opinion, or something of which the male posters don’t approve, conversation is either quickly
shut down, minimised with unwarranted condescension (within the span of a few posts I’ve had my intelligence called into question, go back and look), or swiftly moved along and steered past what she says. Definitely an agenda at play.

And guess who’s going to do nothing about it, per usual No Masters, ladies, remember that above all else.

 

[Jonn]

Again untrue. It didn’t get off the topic entirely,

I am pretty flexible when ppl go off on a tangent.
I do it myself all the time.

However, the direction ppl are going lately is well beyond the context of this thread.
Could we make the posts less combative again?

Pax...

 

[Jonn]

I wanted to add this because on autism forums i always see men complaining about not being able to form romantic relationships and how women have it easier.

This isn't one of those threads.
Originally, the discussion involved ppl who had been or are in a romantic relationship.

Pax...

 

[honeytoast]

^ What is the term for the female equivalent of that since the reverse of that situation absolutely exists in the world as well?

Femcel.

 

[WK6824Nine]

Exactly. I feel a lot of autistic men buy into the incel ideology because they're looking for a reason why women do not go after them. They are trying to fit into a group, but just so happen to be fitting into a toxic group that thinks they deserve a woman because they are a man that exists.

No one is owed anything.

we dont owe anyone either

 

[CreatedUnique]

I'm at a loss for words. I think everyone on this board has freedom to have their own opinions. It's just I was hoping to get some good advice and wisdom. And now I feel more lost.
Could we please take a brief intermission and have some virtual snacks and drinks please?
I admit I am happy single, and I'm okay if I never get into a romantic relationship with a man. I just still would like the chance to meet someone even if it never happens.

I too know two men I wish I could reconnect with even as friends. You mentioned if you could their was two women you wanted to reconnect with. I had to move on because I've lost touch with them. But , I think there is still hope for us. Let's not give up yet. We've made it this far. @Steelbookcollector217

There is another man I would like to reconnect with, but we for sure lost contact.
Basically, I would like some people of my past to be a part of my future. But, I know realistically I got to move on and that includes ever being in a romantic relationship.