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If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

I suspect it will change as us boomers leave the market older ones turn 80 this year youngest turn 60. So between death and retirement opportunities will come. You need to position yourself for success, I did trying over come what I thought was bad luck. I Have always believed in myself glass is half full, not half empty.
 
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I beat myself up about my social awkwardness, then I have group chats successfully with colleagues and family and have a healthy romantic long-term relationship with my NT partner.

Then another day I'm like "ugh, what I did today was so Aspie!" And then the memories of when I was an adolescent come back to me when I was treated like I had the plague and seemed socially clueless.

I know my ADHD Impulses and hyperactivity can make me socially awkward and only the more open-minded NTs accept me (such as my family and most of my colleagues).

It's just so difficult to know where the line is between my NTism and the Asperger's. It's more like a spiky profile.

What I hate most about my brain is the weird thoughts I have. I hate my thinking style, where I feel sorry for objects and have strange little phobias and fears and where I feel things really deeply and become affected by my social environment, for example if a person doesn't like me I can feel their hostility and I become so anxious about it and start worrying about what they're saying about me when I'm not there and thinking I'm a really bad person or something.

Being socially accepted is HUGE for me, it's just a really important desire I have and boosts my self-esteem a lot. I tend to rely on other people's perspectives of me and can pick up on the tiniest clues on how my behaviour is around others and how they see me as.

When I was an adolescent I had normal awareness of social cues but just sucked at responding to them correctly, making it look like I was oblivious. But I wasn't oblivious at all. And it was frustrating.
 
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