If you were honest with yourselves, how many of you hate having this condition?

[Ronald Zeeman]

I was rejected from a driver license test because i didn't lie about the medication i was taking
I believe i am a good driver, i have seen people horrible at the wheel that even had like 7 crashes, but they have license.

I went for fifty years without an accident.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think it can be more heartbreaking for a parent to have an autistic teenager who really wants to be normal or who even believes they are normal but becomes depressed and angry at their lack of friendships. That's how it was for my mum. All she wanted was for me to have friends, and often arguments would stir up between us during weekends and school breaks because I really wanted to go out and socialise but had nobody to do it with. I'd scream out nasty things about myself, wishing I was dead and that everyone at school hated me and everything, and my mum became very distraught and upset that I was feeling like that. No decent parent wants to see their child lonely when the child really wants to fit in and have friends and be a normal child/teenager. Parents can't control everything, they can't make friends for us or force anyone to be our friend. So this sort of thing was out of my mum's control. It then caused friction between my mum and my sister because my sister got to an age where she had some friends that wanted to hang out with her but they'd exclude or bully me, and then I would be crying to my mum about how I hated my sister's friends and that I wished my sister was as friendless as me so that we could have each other. My mum was caught in the middle. She couldn't stop my sister from having friends but she still felt hurt for me. It was such an awful time of my life and whenever I get rejected or bullied now as an adult it just brings flashbacks to those awful times that I would never want to relive.
See how crappy autism can make life for some of us more social Aspies who naturally do want to fit in and have social lives? It can create anger and resentment and the ''why ME??'' attitude. That's why I hate it but it helps to vent here about it.

 

[Jonn]

@Misty Avich that is one things that still baffles me. Is how females could be 'incapable' of having ADHD. It's as baffling as the long centuries of medical and psychological professionals thinking that ASD was a form of psychosis and that females "couldn't" get that either. I get that sone if it was limited tools toward research. But there is a point where that even is a assine explanation. Likely more a sexist thing. Which is not unusual.

Agreed.

Ignorance is aplenty.

 

[Jonn]

The OP of this thread frequented this site for less than a month.

I wonder how things are going for them now.

The title premise has always seemed odd, to me.
Asking people to be honest with themselves.
That looks to me to presume that people aren't
generally honest in their thoughts.

Many people, initially, are pressured into toeing the community norm, at least publicly.
Social "extortion" can be very intimidating, since it could result in social excommunication.

When felt without adequate personal insight, this inherent emotional blackmail can push some people into a dissociative mindset, causing the individual affected to adopt a faux personality in line with social expectations, beyond their conscious awareness.

In essence, they have been "Puppeted" into submission.
This is a key factor in psychological ritual abuse.
I.E. The destruction of the core identity of the individual.

There is a process of self-emancipation, but as you can imagine, those in a dissociated state of mind find navigating themselves out of this maze of confusion difficult, involving a lengthy and torturous procedure.
I am speaking from personal experience, here.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I think it can be more heartbreaking for a parent to have an autistic teenager who really wants to be normal or who even believes they are normal but becomes depressed and angry at their lack of friendships. That's how it was for my mum. All she wanted was for me to have friends, and often arguments would stir up between us during weekends and school breaks because I really wanted to go out and socialise but had nobody to do it with. I'd scream out nasty things about myself, wishing I was dead and that everyone at school hated me and everything, and my mum became very distraught and upset that I was feeling like that. No decent parent wants to see their child lonely when the child really wants to fit in and have friends and be a normal child/teenager. Parents can't control everything, they can't make friends for us or force anyone to be our friend. So this sort of thing was out of my mum's control. It then caused friction between my mum and my sister because my sister got to an age where she had some friends that wanted to hang out with her but they'd exclude or bully me, and then I would be crying to my mum about how I hated my sister's friends and that I wished my sister was as friendless as me so that we could have each other. My mum was caught in the middle. She couldn't stop my sister from having friends but she still felt hurt for me. It was such an awful time of my life and whenever I get rejected or bullied now as an adult it just brings flashbacks to those awful times that I would never want to relive.
See how crappy autism can make life for some of us more social Aspies who naturally do want to fit in and have social lives? It can create anger and resentment and the ''why ME??'' attitude. That's why I hate it but it helps to vent here about it.

Never bothered me and my brothers we had each other, parents never noticed or said any thing.

 

[Jonn]

The bottom line I have never regretted, being on the spectrum, It would have been nice to know earlier in life, Us Aspies are known for our honesty.

Well, they used to be.

My best guess is that the internet has influenced the fabric of the autistic mindset.
Interacting in a non-face-to-face situation has changed the dynamics profoundly.
Studies need to be done in this regard.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I never liked lying so speaking for myself, did not know this was typical for us until found out I was one of the tribe.
in my mid fifties, not a big fan of shoplifting either.

 

[Misty Avich]

Never bothered me and my brothers we had each other, parents never noticed or said any thing.

That's understandable. If my sister had autism and was also friendless like me, I might have accepted my fate better. But I've always felt like I was the only one with this condition, like in my family and in my class at school. It led to feelings of frustration and inadequacy and just being angry with oneself for not being "normal".

 

[Jonn]

I never liked lying so speaking for myself, did not know this was typical for us until found out I was one of the tribe.
in my mid fifties, not a big fan of shoplifting either.

We can rationalise our reasons for our honesty, but for some, it is simply an inherent "foible" in our psychological makeup, imo.
As a result, we are often the preferred prey of narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths.

 

[Kayla55]

Yip, having ASD gets me down. When younger suppose I took it in my stride. The lost opportunities part really gets to me. Then every now and then I find myself watching the girls, thinking again about all miss, wishing to be less complex and just a happy female.

 

[Jonn]

Yip, having ASD gets me down. When younger suppose I took it in my stride. The lost opportunities part really gets to me. Then every now and then I find myself watching the girls, thinking again about all miss, wishing to be less complex and just a happy female.

You get to an age where lost opportunities don't really matter, anymore.
Studies have been done indicating that past the age of 50, an individual's contentedness improves, presumably due to resignation of what was, and the fact that life is finite.

 

[Misty Avich]

You get to an age where lost opportunities don't really matter, anymore.
Studies have been done indicating that past the age of 50, an individual's contentedness improves, presumably due to resignation of what was, and the fact that life is finite.

Yes, that goes for most people as well. Often older people I know are more like individuals rather than following the herd. The younger you are the more society pressurises you into doing things you don't want to do but you feel you have to if you want friends. So me being teetotal and having social anxiety caused me to be the shut-in type of Aspie when I was like 20, and then I'd beat myself up for not going out or doing things that my peers were doing.

It's even more petty when you're a teenager. When I was 15 I got into old music, and I began getting teased and rejected at school just because the CD in my Walkman was Chas and Dave instead of Justin Timberlake. As an adult in my 30s I feel I can like any sort of music and still get social approval from my peers.

 

[FayetheAspie]

I was never really the type to give into peer pressure much at all; even as a teen. I just always wanted to meet someone my age that liked the things that I liked. I don't want someone else to pretend to like what I like either. In fact, that is rather annoying when you catch on that they are lying. I just want to meet someone my age who genuinely likes a lot of the same things that I like and is equally enthusiastic about them. I don't understand why people choose to alienate themselves from things they are passionate about just to fit in or why they pretend to like things that bother them or bore them just to fit in. What's the point in hanging out with a group of people just to say you did if you are miserable the whole time?

 

[Misty Avich]

I was never really the type to give into peer pressure much at all; even as a teen. I just always wanted to meet someone my age that liked the things that I liked. I don't want someone else to pretend to like what I like either. In fact, that is rather annoying when you catch on that they are lying. I just want to meet someone my age who genuinely likes a lot of the same things that I like and is equally enthusiastic about them. I don't understand why people choose to alienate themselves from things they are passionate about just to fit in or why they pretend to like things that bother them or bore them just to fit in. What's the point in hanging out with a group of people just to say you did if you are miserable the whole time?

It seems to be common logic among younger people (kids, teenagers, young adults). But as people get older we start to realise how silly it is to pretend to like things or only accepting other people who like the same, and we just begin to admit to being individuals and embracing our personal likes and dislikes.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Now that you have started, your journey you will find like minded. One of my My remaining very good friends I meet in college.

 

[Jonn]

I don't understand why people choose to alienate themselves from things they are passionate about just to fit in or why they pretend to like things that bother them or bore them just to fit in. What's the point in hanging out with a group of people just to say you did if you are miserable the whole time?

This is traditional autistic thinking.
Keep it up.