I’m nervous about a date scheduled for Sunday

[Hypnalis]

@BewilderedPerson

Good choice! Bears are as good as puppies (except for petting IRL

Objectively, everything is still tracking at 100%. Next task: find something like the bear, but with a message of "Hopeful", and send it in a day or two (Sunday 10:00 a.m. would work well).

This is a good move OFC, but also it's practice for demonstrating thoughtfulness. From a strictly practical perspective this kind of thing is an irrational waste of time. OFC the very best things in life are a waste of time and effort from that perspective ...

...but the best memories - the positive ones that last forever - come from sharing things with people we like/love and trust.
It's worth putting some effort into facilitating the right environment for them

 

[BewilderedPerson]

Well, she’s better, but still not 100%.

She asked me how my week was looking, if I was available Wednesday evening. I told her I should be free by then. So, she asked if Wednesday worked or another day did. I told her Wednesday was fine, and that she’s still okay with me making us dinner and coming over at 6 p.m.

She also asked me how work went yesterday and what I’m doing for the rest of the day.

So, I think this is good news that she’s still interested.

 

[Hypnalis]

Definitely still on track.

I have a suggestion for you, since there's a log in this thread of your interactions and my comments. Go through it from your current perspective (i.e. everyone has been making the right moves for the right reasons all along), and see if there's something to learn.

Since it's going well, you won't have paid much attention to the "disengage signals" I've mentioned, but they'll probably be easier to contextualize now. Being able to analyze and test what the other person is saying is a very useful skill. It reduces uncertainty, and helps you decide on how much time and effort you'll expend.
(This would be for different people, so hopefully you'll never use this. But it's good to know moves like this - they have more general applicability than dating)

BTW it looks like your in a "lower uncertainty" stage now, which is great. As an exercise, you can weave together demonstrating genuine care and optimize the timing in one exchange. Not actually necessary, but good practice.

I'll leave the details to you, but the basic action is to (a) check at a suitable time (some time late Monday or Tuesday) if she's ok for Wednesday, and (b) suggest a possible alternate if she's not ok yet.

The alternate is partly a placeholder for negotiation, but it has to be real in case she has to delay and choose the new suggestion. But it's also something like what (IIRC) I mentioned in my last post, but in reverse.
Both sides are genuinely interested, so both sides should, if possible, prefer to skip from one specific time/place to another, rather than reverting to an unspecified future date.
(IMO that that's what her "how about Wednesday" suggestion was for, and why it's a positive signal)..

As usual, something personal and cheery will be a good accompaniment. Don't burn a lot of time on it OFC - it's the thought that counts,

 

[BewilderedPerson]

Definitely still on track.

I have a suggestion for you, since there's a log in this thread of your interactions and my comments. Go through it from your current perspective (i.e. everyone has been making the right moves for the right reasons all along), and see if there's something to learn.

Since it's going well, you won't have paid much attention to the "disengage signals" I've mentioned, but they'll probably be easier to contextualize now. Being able to analyze and test what the other person is saying is a very useful skill. It reduces uncertainty, and helps you decide on how much time and effort you'll expend.
(This would be for different people, so hopefully you'll never use this. But it's good to know moves like this - they have more general applicability than dating)

BTW it looks like your in a "lower uncertainty" stage now, which is great. As an exercise, you can weave together demonstrating genuine care and optimize the timing in one exchange. Not actually necessary, but good practice.

I'll leave the details to you, but the basic action is to (a) check at a suitable time (some time late Monday or Tuesday) if she's ok for Wednesday, and (b) suggest a possible alternate if she's not ok yet.

The alternate is partly a placeholder for negotiation, but it has to be real in case she has to delay and choose the new suggestion. But it's also something like what (IIRC) I mentioned in my last post, but in reverse.
Both sides are genuinely interested, so both sides should, if possible, prefer to skip from one specific time/place to another, rather than reverting to an unspecified future date.
(IMO that that's what her "how about Wednesday" suggestion was for, and why it's a positive signal)..

As usual, something personal and cheery will be a good accompaniment. Don't burn a lot of time on it OFC - it's the thought that counts,

I wonder if it was a disengage signal when I asked her last night how her day was and she was back at work. She responded about right away and then she asked me how mine was.

I told her I was taking a dinner break before more work, then asked her if she saw the Oscars. It took her 30 minutes to respond, but to her credit, she did and gave an emoji saying she was in bed. But she usually doesn’t take that long to respond.

So, I told her I was going to do some more work (which was true, I did), then told her to have a good rest of her night, then she responded in telling me to have a good night with a sunflower emoji.

We’ve talked about every day except for one. It’s been a few years since I’ve gotten past the first date and I’m worried she’ll nix it again, but I’m also trying not to talk to her every day and give her space.

But then again, if she cancels because I asked her last night how her day went, if she was back and if she watched the Oscars, maybe I’m better off.

I’m just so used to things not going my way in this realm of my life.

I’m going to cook us dinner tomorrow, then I’m going to surprise her with Shamrock Shakes for both of us.

 

[Hypnalis]

@BewilderedPerson

You should forget those earlier "almost dates". People who don't cancel the way your current contact did were never serious. You should reclassify them as "equivalent to a foodie calls". i.e. the exchanges were 80% fake, and even if you'd met, it would have been a waste of time, energy and money.
I know this isn't easy to accept, but the "disengagement protocol" analysis I shared earlier is very reliable.

Where you are now is near-perfect. You should stay optimistic and upbeat.
Even if you get the "texting protocol" (if she actually has one) wrong, at this stage you'll be forgiven

Personally I'm a bit suspicious when people can always reply immediately when they're at work. IMO it's a sign of useless people who just haven't been fired for it yet Useful workers are busy most of the time, especially when they've just returned from a few days off.
So my theory is that it's much better to get a 4-line message at lunchtime than 4 1-line immediate responses.

Stay calm tomorrow. You have a good plan. Follow it
Go back and check the "conversation planning post if you haven't sorted that out yet.

Let me know if you come up blank. I might have something you can use tomorrow (my time - I'm about to go to sleep).

 

[BewilderedPerson]

@BewilderedPerson

You should forget those earlier "almost dates". People who don't cancel the way your current contact did were never serious. You should reclassify them as "equivalent to a foodie calls". i.e. the exchanges were 80% fake, and even if you'd met, it would have been a waste of time, energy and money.
I know this isn't easy to accept, but the "disengagement protocol" analysis I shared earlier is very reliable.

Where you are now is near-perfect. You should stay optimistic and upbeat.
Even if you get the "texting protocol" (if she actually has one) wrong, at this stage you'll be forgiven

Personally I'm a bit suspicious when people can always reply immediately when they're at work. IMO it's a sign of useless people who just haven't been fired for it yet Useful workers are busy most of the time, especially when they've just returned from a few days off.
So my theory is that it's much better to get a 4-line message at lunchtime than 4 1-line immediate responses.

Stay calm tomorrow. You have a good plan. Follow it
Go back and check the "conversation planning post if you haven't sorted that out yet.

Let me know if you come up blank. I might have something you can use tomorrow (my time - I'm about to go to sleep).

No, I contacted her after she got off of work. We’ve only talked once when she was at work. She works at a daycare and it was nap time when she texted the day after our date. I prefer not to bother her during work.

Thank you so much. I will do so. Anything is appreciated.