Is anyone really dirty

[Ylva]

I dislike the falling water (although I'm okay with rain) and the being submerged in water (although if it's the ocean it's okay). Soap is pretty nice, though. It kills viruses and bacteria, and removes the itchy thin-layered stuff. I like feeling clean, but sometimes I don't hate feeling dirty quite enough to overcome my (minor) aversion to washing.

 

[Major Tom]

I wouldn't say I'm dirty (unless you are talking minds), but I am certainly disorganized. Especially when it comes to things that don't interest me.

 

[Au Naturel]

I didn't learn about things like washing my hair until I was in high school. We didn't have a shower in the house I grew up in, just a bathtub. I would only bathe once a week. (My parents weren't exactly socially adjusted either.)

There were all things that kept me apart from other people. I didn't realize it until a girl took me aside and explained it to me. Cleanliness has a direct bearing on people associating with you. One can get used to one's own smell and never notice what someone else smells immediately. Dirty hair, dirty clothes, morning breath, these things get you judged. I had enough problems with my personality. I did NOT need those extra factors adding to my unpopularity.

We moved into a place with a shower when I was in 10th grade. I discovered the joy of taking long hot soapy showers until the hot water ran out. Cavities taught me the importance of brushing my teeth; suddenly my mouth was full of fillings after my first real dental exam caused by a massive toothache. Personal cleanliness was never an issue after that.

 

[menander]

When it was time for my Confirmation, I opted to take the name of a saint renowned for his courage, generosity, and stubborn, steadfast refusal to comb his hair. They seemed like virtues I was good at.

My spaces tend to be wildly cluttered, but I actually like knowing where everything is and being able to access it without having to move six boxes through space that's empty for no real reason. As an added bonus, I'm completely safe from being robbed by Martha Stewart; her head would explode if she walked into my bedroom. I have no problem with people living their own lives as they choose, but I'll never accept that fastidiousness is the "proper" way until someone actually gives me a convincing reason to make the bed. Thirty six years of attempts, and so far no one's managed.

Who was the saint?

 

[onlything]

I found that being organised and a clean studio are a necessity for a prolonged deep focus work that you're not necessarily very interested in doing. From observation, my efficiency in doing boring but required tasks grows by a large margin if I keep my work room organised well and gets cut in more than a half if I am distracted by the mess or sheer amount of stuff in the studio. Which is quite logical - cleaning for me means cutting off unnecessary stimuli to focus on things that are important to me.

I took up a self-induced challenge of keeping my work area as clean as possible for two weeks and see if there is any difference in the work flow. For me, there is a large one. I recommend trying it out for yourself.

If your mind is similar to mine and you benefit from it as well, you may find it easier to clean everywhere else afterwards if only for the sake of keeping your head calm. A mess, to me, is an equivalent of a very bright sunlight in the morning - I can deal with it if required but it's quite unpleasant and disturbs my 'sight' above a certain threshold.

 

[All-Rounder]

As a person who doesnt stop thinking at any point, i dont understand this

That doesn't mean she doesn't think, or daydream about anything. She just doesn't think about 'it'. Mind numbing tasks are usually part of multitasking.

My own experience is I often have adhd spacing aka adhd hyperfocus, helps me shut out stimuli and the world and eases me into a memories, fixing things, comparing, self reflection, questioning what I think about others or naturally imaginative world.

Strangely, my brain thinks walking through the world is more wearisome than its own confines. Maybe it just shuts the light and orders everything to suit itself or maybe mental images don't have as much resolution. Who knows. Maybe it just doesn't think the world outside is the right fun for itself and it wastes its time being in the present moment if it's still gonna get there.

I caught my mind making excuses on another time, excuses for why it should postpone tasks and not clean the room [INSTEAD OF EXCUSES TO DO IT] . It's incredibly ordered, if something is 1 cm away from its beautifying spot, even if it's a crumpled paper that's going to the trash, it's gonna fix it, but when it comes to vacuuming that's like digging 200 graves for elephants. It's exhausting before it even begins.

I have days when I'm just tired, and mom always berates me for being tired without doing any work. It's like I have no right to feel tired but I actually do and that's a fact. I have moods when I want to cook badly and moods when I would rather someone suffer than for me to cook. But on most days I push myself to do stuff [and claim free days for being such a good girl, I spoil myself and empathize with my needs so much better than parents ever could].

 

[Judge]

I indeed have OCD, am more or less a "cleanoholic" and a "neatnik", though oddly enough I'm not a germophobe. Since I don't have OCPD I can tolerate being in environments owned or controlled by others, not being prone to want to clean or straighten them up.

Though in the case of my own home or workspace, yes it has to be clean and orderly at all times.

 

[Juliettaa]

I indeed have OCD, am more or less a "cleanoholic" and a "neatnik", though oddly enough I'm not a germophobe. Since I don't have OCPD I can tolerate being in environments owned or controlled by others, not being prone to want to clean or straighten them up.

Though in the case of my own home or workspace, yes it has to be clean and orderly at all times.

I am the same as @Judge regarding my home and workspace. I need order so that I can function. I also enjoy housework/cleaning. I find it relaxing and always enjoy the end result of a clean, tidy house that smells lovely.

I'm not prone to want to clean environments that are not mine; however, I have little tolerance for being somewhere that is dirty or smelly. I have a very keen sense of smell and can quickly become overwhelmed by smells that are offensive to me.

Personal hygiene - I do these things because I have to, but admit that since lock-down/working from home, I've lost interest in how I look as it no longer matters now that I'm at home all of the time. I have found that the decline in the need to go through the personal hygiene motions of regular showering, blow drying hair, cleansing/moisturising my face, brushing/flossing teeth in order to present to the outside world has had a detrimental impact on my self esteem and for the past few weeks I have tried to push myself to follow the routines as if I were leaving the house every day for work. I'm not quite there yet. It's work in progress.

 

[Moonhart44]

I get it my b/f was way move inyout camp and it drove me made, all he did was label my needs as OSD and unreasonable, needless to say we broke up and i now now be ME with no judgement.

honestly my bf currently made me realize how not normal i am. only because i work in a field where everyone is diagnosed with something coincidentally. Right now he is kind of a wake up call for me in the sense that he is making me realize that i need help and that its okay. But we will see time will tell and all

 

[Moonhart44]

Too much clutter makes me feel tense. I'm not great when it comes to cleaning the house for prolonged periods. But, I also let things accumulate over time; to a point where I'm forced to clean for prolonged periods.

The time when I clean the most is when we have guests. Basically I keep busy so I don't have to talk to people. Also, we spent so long tidying prior to guests arriving, I don't want all that hard work undone within a few hours of people in our house.

The house isn't really big enough for all the stuff we have which is currently in boxes in the spare bedrooms. We need to get a carpenter in to fit an attic door which would allow for more storage space.

Personal hygiene can be hit and miss too. I'd say I average 2 showers a week. Which probably isn't enough and no doubt seems disgusting to germaphobes etc. Never been good with routines. For most of my childhood and early adult life I rarely brushed my teeth. Not good when I was a stoner on and off for 13 years. Of course my teeth suffered - lots of fillings and one tooth which broke after 2 failed root canals.

These days I'm better with hygiene and brush my teeth once a day. So it's certainly an improvement. It does depend on mood though - if I'm going through a depressive period, I could give a fudge how I look or smell. It's unpleasant I know. I've even had comments from partners and workplaces that I'm unkempt and offputting. Just what you want to hear when you're depressed.

Anyway, at least I'm improving. By all accounts; I'm still a mess. Still, I look back and realise that as I've grown older I'm a slightly more cohesive and practical shambles compared to how I lived in the past. I'll take that as a victory - however small and insignificant it may seem.

Ed

its good theres improvement because it makes me feel hopeful. i recently finally received a visual schedule (i am drawn to pictures) and timer. so i am hoping these will help me somehow in keeping routine and clean. i am the same where i clean when its a lot of mess. i have stopped cleaning for guests which is not good haha. but i do feel overall, despite people judging me (which is very discouraging), i have made a lot of progress. in the past i could have legit been in hoarders and now i am simply, filthy haha

 

[Raggamuffin]

I think any change has to be instigated by you. Whilst others may try to affect you into changing; if your heart isn't in it, whatever changes may develop might not be long term.

Don't be too put off if a new routine doesn't stick initially. If the intent is there to change, it will eventually happen. It might not live up to what you envisioned, but if it's a step in the right direction - that's as good a step as any to take.

Was hoarding general items, or was it to do with key interests? I often think I should be meticulous when it comes to my PC building hobby; or indeed, any expensive electrical item. I should flat pack the box, keep all the manuals and plastic bags the items were packed in. I'm sure it wouldn't take me long to start collecting all sorts of items I don't really need.

The reality is, that when I receive something new, I tear into the box and packaging like an ape and then dump it all in the recycling bin. I'm also not good when it comes to any sort of complex or intricate packaging - I tend not to have the patience to reason with something that is more complex than a cardboard box or a plastic bag - and so I exert brute force to rip it open. I must admit, even cardboard boxes are getting too smart for their own good these days. With their intricate sections and folds etc - it's like I'm tackling something made by an origami master.

When it comes to reselling things, I tend to sell them at such a cheap price because I simply want rid of it - as soon as the thought enters my head to be rid of something, it's best if it happens swiftly. A bargain price ensures this happens. Also, most people like an item if it's in good condition, well looked after and in it's original packaging - nothing that enters my world will be maintained in pristine condition. Heck, I can't even look after myself - let alone something fancier than me.

Ed

 

[Moonhart44]

Probably not appropriate here, but if you want to know what the essential bits are, check out George Carlin's Fear of germs

i agree with this too much

 

[Moonhart44]

When it was time for my Confirmation, I opted to take the name of a saint renowned for his courage, generosity, and stubborn, steadfast refusal to comb his hair. They seemed like virtues I was good at.

My spaces tend to be wildly cluttered, but I actually like knowing where everything is and being able to access it without having to move six boxes through space that's empty for no real reason. As an added bonus, I'm completely safe from being robbed by Martha Stewart; her head would explode if she walked into my bedroom. I have no problem with people living their own lives as they choose, but I'll never accept that fastidiousness is the "proper" way until someone actually gives me a convincing reason to make the bed. Thirty six years of attempts, and so far no one's managed.

bed making is truly pointless

 

[Moonhart44]

I am the same as @Judge regarding my home and workspace. I need order so that I can function. I also enjoy housework/cleaning. I find it relaxing and always enjoy the end result of a clean, tidy house that smells lovely.

I'm not prone to want to clean environments that are not mine; however, I have little tolerance for being somewhere that is dirty or smelly. I have a very keen sense of smell and can quickly become overwhelmed by smells that are offensive to me.

Personal hygiene - I do these things because I have to, but admit that since lock-down/working from home, I've lost interest in how I look as it no longer matters now that I'm at home all of the time. I have found that the decline in the need to go through the personal hygiene motions of regular showering, blow drying hair, cleansing/moisturising my face, brushing/flossing teeth in order to present to the outside world has had a detrimental impact on my self esteem and for the past few weeks I have tried to push myself to follow the routines as if I were leaving the house every day for work. I'm not quite there yet. It's work in progress.

when i was locked down i had the opposite effect. for some reason i was more adhered to a routine than if i were working. I think if left to my own devices i naturally try to have order (almost a moot trait being so naturally. . . chaotic), because as a kid i would do that as well. However once my job opened again i basically stopped everything, i even lost progresss on things i worked on the whole of last year on. i am really bad at continuing when change occurs.

 

[Moonhart44]

I think any change has to be instigated by you. Whilst others may try to affect you into changing; if your heart isn't in it, whatever changes may develop might not be long term.

Don't be too put off if a new routine doesn't stick initially. If the intent is there to change, it will eventually happen. It might not live up to what you envisioned, but if it's a step in the right direction - that's as good a step as any to take.

Was hoarding general items, or was it to do with key interests? I often think I should be meticulous when it comes to my PC building hobby; or indeed, any expensive electrical item. I should flat pack the box, keep all the manuals and plastic bags the items were packed in. I'm sure it wouldn't take me long to start collecting all sorts of items I don't really need.

The reality is, that when I receive something new, I tear into the box and packaging like an ape and then dump it all in the recycling bin. I'm also not good when it comes to any sort of complex or intricate packaging - I tend not to have the patience to reason with something that is more complex than a cardboard box or a plastic bag - and so I exert brute force to rip it open. I must admit, even cardboard boxes are getting too smart for their own good these days. With their intricate sections and folds etc - it's like I'm tackling something made by an origami master.

When it comes to reselling things, I tend to sell them at such a cheap price because I simply want rid of it - as soon as the thought enters my head to be rid of something, it's best if it happens swiftly. A bargain price ensures this happens. Also, most people like an item if it's in good condition, well looked after and in it's original packaging - nothing that enters my world will be maintained in pristine condition. Heck, I can't even look after myself - let alone something fancier than me.

Ed

I can be a sentimental person so if anyone gives me ANYTHING i tend to keep it. i dont like throwing things away because i am very careless at times and have a fear of throwing away important items, which i have done. I just realized when people say "pick up little by little everyday" that there was a disconnect in my understanding because my "little" is very overwhelming compared to there. it was the other day i saw something on the floor that typically give me no bother as it was not trash, but it clicked and i picked it up and put it away. very simple but a small progress.

talking about my dirty journey here, even at this moment has made me realize that i have made progress and shouldnt be discouraged.

 

[Karamazov]

when i was locked down i had the opposite effect. for some reason i was more adhered to a routine than if i were working. I think if left to my own devices i naturally try to have order (almost a moot trait being so naturally. . . chaotic), because as a kid i would do that as well. However once my job opened again i basically stopped everything, i even lost progresss on things i worked on the whole of last year on. i am really bad at continuing when change occurs.

I know that one: I have my lovely monthly rota of things that must be done to avoid filth-bedecked chaos, but visit a relative for three days and it all falls apart: can take months to get fully back into the rhythm of it again.

 

[100skerls]

I know a trope trait of people with autism is being incredulously clean, but i also read that people with asd reallly have polarizing traits. I am horribly dirty, horribly clumsy, horribly cluttered. I dont see any logic in being clean honestly. if the dirty is bound to come again, why do i have to clean? why clean when i can work out? why clean when i can meal prep? why clean when i can draw or play games? I dont care and i only "clean" because it bothers other people. sometimes i even find it shallow to focus on cleanliness so much. regardless of all this, i know that this is not a normal feeling and that i need to be cleaner. i recently bought some organizing stuff like agendas and calendars to try and help me, as well as a timer

does anyone relate to this feeling?

yes, I really don’t care mostly. If it gets dirty enough I will clean though. There is a point for me where I get annoyed with my messiness. Otherwise my cleaning only happens for others. Generally I appreciate things being clean (As in hygienic) much more than organized (put away). So i will try to keep things not gross - sink, toilet, sheets, floors. Clothes and Knick knacks toiletries etc much much harder for me to care to keep put away. I think it’s because I hate that there isn’t a place for everything to go like I need a bin for every type of thing. Otherwise if I put it away I just won’t know where it is. I could see myself being less messy if I had more places to put things but maybe that’s just a pipe dream/ an excuse to go to the container store

 

[Rabscuttle]

Who was the saint?

Martin of Tours. A lot of histories of him leave the hair part out, along with the part about how he didn't want to be a bishop, so he hid, but was betrayed by the honking of a goose. Ever since, on Saint Martin's day, they eat goose- I'm not sure which of them it's a jab at. Maybe both.

It was also a nod to Martin Luther King, whom I admire, and to Martin Luther, whose steadfast courage and determination to see things he knew was wrong set right deeply resonated with me. And a way of thumbing my nose at the Church a little, since, you know, Martin Luther and all. And several other things, too; taking on a new name is not a decision to be made lightly.

 

[menander]

Good gracious! I looked him up and he has been venerated in almost every denomination. Is that usual? This guy sounds very cool. I will do more research on him. I would like to learn more.

 

[Jonn]

I know a trope trait of people with autism is being incredulously clean, but i also read that people with asd reallly have polarizing traits. I am horribly dirty, horribly clumsy, horribly cluttered. I dont see any logic in being clean honestly. if the dirty is bound to come again, why do i have to clean? why clean when i can work out? why clean when i can meal prep? why clean when i can draw or play games? I dont care and i only "clean" because it bothers other people. sometimes i even find it shallow to focus on cleanliness so much. regardless of all this, i know that this is not a normal feeling and that i need to be cleaner. i recently bought some organizing stuff like agendas and calendars to try and help me, as well as a timer

does anyone relate to this feeling?

Personal cleanliness: I used to shower every day.
With the pandemic, it is every second day.

House cleaning: I get what you are saying about it is getting dirty again anyway, and I don't vacuum enough, but I want to.