Is emotional intelligence innate or learned?

[Vindiesel]

Well if you have (in my case) alexithymia, zero emotional empathy, extremely sharp cognitive empathy and anhedonia; I feel acquiring emotional intelligence can only be had by pattern recognition, cause and affect, deductive reasoning, experience, reading peoples body language, facial expression, reading different personalities and tone of voice to build a database of algorithms internally to translate external information to remedy a template to shift depending on demand and context.

Do I feel anyone can acquire it? sure...to actually feel it...no. Cognitive empathy can get your pretty far...emotional empathy is too vast to assume what others are feeling ...emotional intelligence is a culmination of them both sometimes it is just best to ask how others are feeling if you don't know or at-least validate what you see. Most of human interactions are predicated on vast assumptions and generalized templates.

 

[Judge]

I'd be inclined to think that anything associated with social exchanges must be learned. Especially given the variety of any interactions between humans. So many variables involved. I don't see anything instinctive in this context.

But then one thing that would likely precede such a conclusion is to ponder the term "emotional intelligence" as an oxymoron. Which just might undermine a notion that social interactions can actually be mastered.

 

[Vindiesel]

I'd be inclined to think that anything associated with social exchanges must be learned. Especially given the variety of any interactions between humans. So many variables involved.

But then one thing that would likely precede such a conclusion is to ponder the term "emotional intelligence" as an oxymoron. Which just might undermine a notion that social interactions can actually be mastered.

Precisely, there isnt a "one size fits all."

 

[Shevek]

It is innate AND learned, but in varying proportions.

 

[Prometheus]

I'm still learning it. But, if it doesn't exist, then does that mean I've learnt nothing...hmmm

 

[Prometheus]

I had an audiobook On "emotional intelligence," 1998 published or so, the author, think , it was Daniel Goleman. Never finished it...

 

[Vindiesel]

care to explain?

 

[Vindiesel]

I don't think it really exists.

Care to explain?

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

When I was in nursing school we had to take a class - I don’t remember what it was called - on something like emotional intelligence so we could be better prepared to address emotional needs of patients as well as their physical needs.

The teacher wrote at the beginning of the workbook that she did not naturally know how to do this. She said she had to force herself to learn and she was proof you could learn to do it even if you didn’t feel it.

 

[Mr. Stevens]

Some people will have a more innate gift for it, but like any gift, that must be developed.

I don't see a need to doubt emotional intelligence. It's just another phrase for self-awareness, though this can include our perceptions of others. If we did not feel attraction or repulsion from things, how would we survive? There is some emotional connection to all experience. What else do we have but our reactions to things, and how we consider those reactions?

 

[Prometheus]

As far as emotional intelligence being real or not.. a valid concept or not, I can't say. I guess we ASD are at a natural disadvantage in this domain. I have always went just by what I was taught, learned, assimilated from the culture, from the environment, good, bad, indifferent. Monkey see, monkey do. Imitation is apparently the natural way of learning, And we don't even have functioning mirror neurons that make this possible, or effective I suppsoe. As far as emotional understanding goes, I probably was not too strong in that area from a early age. I picked up some bad habits at school and well as some good ones at home, but That's because I was pretty much a childhood delinquent, whos only friends, were real...crazy. I didn't realise this at the time, but there was a bout 2 or 3, probably genuine ASPD/narcisists who were my closest freinds. Definitely not law abiding pupils. Think, vandalism, arson, thievery, petty stuff though, you know, from shops stealing sweeets, and just general misccheif. I guess it's kinda had a bad impression on me, Since that was the majority of my learning of social peer group relationships. Those were my core peers. But ....I think i'm more mature nowadays, Okay lol, maybe not mature, But more intelligent. You know, normally I dont trust anybody, but sometmes I do. And often, I learn it was a bad idea, So That lack of trust, is just further reinforced. I'm not at all a naturally social trusting person. And I always feel like I must come off as odd or awkward at times, Like, they must be thinking, after a while,"why does he do that!?" I dont think I would say I have strong emotional intelligence, or theory of mind, in regards to others. I have adequate but not brilliant people skills. But... I guess that's just the nature of my diagnosis.

 

[Vindiesel]

Well some people just kinda made up the term "emotional intelligence" and it doesn't have a well defined meaning or science behind it. Most of time people just use it in place of "social skills" or "theory of mind", sometimes empathy. Even empathy is something that i don't quite understand what it means. How exactly is it diffirent from compassion or sympathy? Then some people also decided that cognitive and effective empathy are diffirent to make things even more confusing. Is cognitive empathy the same as theory of mind and social skills, why invent a new term? I forgot there is also agreeableness which is a personality trait that is also somehow related to caring about what people may feel.

There are probably many more words that are used in contemporary blogpost psychology that have meanings which overlaps with empathy and social abilities.

I also think part of the reason "emotional intelligence" was invented is to make people who lack intelligence by it's original definition feel better about their abilities. The same way that being athletic and having good motor skills has become kinesthetic intelligence

I try not to read into that word other than intelligence about emotion. You can have cognitive empathy and put yourself "in their shoes" but that is based on the premise of a like minded emotion palette that in the autistic realm can be very bright or very dim in the feels department or any other continuum for all humans. So it seems ridiculous to say "in their shoes." Then the emotional empathy is feeling what others feel and that couldnt be farther from the truth no matter who it is.

It is all patterns and communication.

I agree where your going with what you wrote. The other one I would harp on would be "self-esteem." Does that exist?

 

[tazz]

If CBT fixed your issues, you didn't have autism.

This doesn't sound right to me. I've read that CBT can be less effective for autistics, but not completely useless, and that's also my experience so far.

people recover from autism

This doesn't sound right to me. Autism has a genetic component. There are physical differences in the brain as a result. These things can't be changed with current technology and medical understanding. There are strategies for addressing the challenges presented by autism, but implementing effective workarounds isn't the same as recovery.

...

I'm no expert.