Is having children wrong or not?

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Is having children wrong or not? As they have no say whether they want to be born or not?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I guess we will find out in the next 50 years as the planet depopulates of humans. ChIna, Russia, currently doing good job of helping it along.

 

[Misty Avich]

I feel insecure about myself for not having children but I think I may be almost infertile anyway because I have been recently diagnosed with Endometriosis, which can lessen the chance a woman gets pregnant. So hopefully I won't have to feel ashamed any more (society makes me feel ashamed by calling me selfish for not having children).

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Sorry just came back from walk. If we survive, if the families who want kids have two each and one in twenty have three kids, we will be OK.

 

[Xinyta]

Truthfully. It's no more wrong to birth children, than it is for us to use the toilet. (Ironic statement, considering my past issues with it)

All of us were born, whether we like it or not. So it's not a question of if they want to be in the world. That will be determined by the powers that be. But who are we to deny a soul a chance at life? To deny a new heart, in a world of broken hearts?

There is a belief that there is no such thing as innocence. But a child first born, is as innocent as human can be. As time goes on. Life takes more of that innocence away.

It's cruel. But part of living in a fallen world. Though, there is always a light in the darkness. It just takes looking for it.

 

[NB79]

No children no humanity. Kind of bleak to think is wrong to have children.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Thier was a calculation I saw on my calculus lectures for predator prey to maintain population , may look it up
see if I could apply to humans see if our population stabilizes.

 

[AprilR]

I don't think it is wrong. People naturally assume the child will have a good life. No one can predict how awful a person's life will be.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Is having children wrong or not? As they have no say whether they want to be born or not?

An interesting perspective on a philosophical question.

All I can say is that there are probably too many variables, in this case, to answer this question given the rather broad perspective here.

"Wanting to be born or not" implies conscious awareness of the extrauterine world, foresight, forethought, and the ability to predict life into the future. As such, it is not a realistic perspective. You might hear a teenager, angry at the world, "I didn't ask to be born!!" Well, dumb-***, nobody ever did, nor could they.

"Is having children wrong or not?" This is a philosophical and moral question. I can think of specific examples, medically, where carrying a pregnancy to term poses significant risks of death to the mother and baby. I can think of specific examples, medically, where there are genetic and physical anomalies where the child will suffer undue pain and suffering throughout their life and only to die in early childhood. The things I have experienced at the hospital that nobody wants to talk about. The devastating effects on a marraige and family. That said, I deal with the exceptions, and probably doesn't apply to the broader perspective.

The broader perspective being that having children, in general, is one of the most rewarding experiences one could ever have. Sure, being a parent is always about giving to them your time, your money, your personal dreams on hold. I can be critical of my parents, they can be critical of me, I might not have the relationship with my children or my parents that I wish I could, BUT,...I would do it again and again and again over many lifetimes if given the opportunity.

Someone might grow up with a lot of personal pain, but then channel it into the most beautiful music ever heard. When you push someone into the realm of extremes, two things typically happen, death or an extraordinary person, emotionally, intellectually, and/or physically.

Widening out the focus further, as others have suggested, children make you immortal, they are hope for the future.

 

[DavyBoyAB]

Depends on context, its okay to have children when you have money to raise them, but when not, they will suffer, so its a bad point to raise them.

 

[Shevek]

Is having children wrong or not? As they have no say whether they want to be born or not?

That's a very conditional decision. If you have been shipwrecked on an uninhabited paradise, chances are good your children will be grateful. If you are struggling to survive in a dying landscape, they probably won't. If you are an average peasant in a steady economy, children are your old-age security if they survive. If they don't, they take some less-favoured genes out of the pool.

 

[Kisa the tea]

I think if people are able to care for the child then its fine. My parents werent able to care for me or my sister so they definitely shouldnt have had a child, let alone two.

 

[Shevek]

My test was if I could support a child without degrading the planet they would inherit. I spent my life developing benign technology, but it never paid a living. Currently, 80% of the animal mass on land is human or domestic, and the wild 20% is experiencing extinctions at a rate that will define a new age in the geologic record.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Depends on context, its okay to have children when you have money to raise them, but when not, they will suffer, so its a bad point to raise them.

One thing I do know is that very few people can afford children financially, whether you have one or five children. However, here's the rub, and something most young people will never understand until they do have children, is that you "simply adjust". There are a lot of "dirt poor" out there having large families, and a lot of educated, intelligent, middle class income couples complaining that they could never afford children. What it really comes down to, and this will piss a lot of people off when I say this, is that this is a bit of selfishness. The perspective being that a lot of people are unwilling to make the financial, personal, and professional sacrifices necessary to lower their standard of living for a few decades in order to make themselves parents. It really is a sore spot with my wife and I, with 2 boys, 28 and 30, with successful careers, making 2X the money my wife and I do now, and for some reason they can't afford things. I wish I had their income. They can afford things, a lot more than we have now, and would be wonderful parents, I am sure. Money is just a weak excuse that is thrown around, especially this generation, for not wanting to make those sacrifices.

 

[thejuice]

Is having children wrong or not? As they have no say whether they want to be born or not?

Interesting question as I was fine with not 'being' before and I'll be fine with not existing afterwards. It's not necessarily a better thing to be alive than dead. We kicked and screamed at our unavoidable manifestation into the material world. None of us chose this but we must crack on anyway, what option do we have?

 

[Masked Man]

What I think is "wrong" about having children is not being prepared to have them, nurture them, and give them the best fighting chance possible.

A good way to think about it is that you're not having a baby, you're having a human being, and you're preparing a future adult. How are you preparing to make this future adult the most successful adult you can?

I have family members who are raising their kids in near poverty. These poor kids don't have a chance due to no fault of their own: they were born to a poor mother, who doesn't know what she's doing, can't afford to have them, etc. Yes, there are stories of kids coming up from nothing, but by and large, being born poor sets a person back before they even get to the starting line of life.

As far as humanity dying out, that's not going to happen, as birth rates in other countries, specifically some of those in central Africa, are having plenty of children.

 

[GrownupGirl]

I guess we will find out in the next 50 years as the planet depopulates of humans. ChIna, Russia, currently doing good job of helping it along.

And the USA.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

And the USA.

Too early to tell.

 

[Hypnalis]

As far as humanity dying out, that's not going to happen, as birth rates in other countries, specifically some of those in central Africa, are having plenty of children.

For now, but they're slowing down. There's a correlation (probably not a cause) with per capita GDP hitting a fairly low number by the standards of rich countries.

"Demography is Destiny". Population collapse is likely to be the first really large existential crisis we hit.

 

[Kit]

I think it depends on the person. If someone isn't able to take care of themselves and often need help with daily living and skills, I would think they wouldn't be fit to be a parent.

There is no way I could have kids on my own so I have my husband and he wouldn't be able to do it himself either due to his feet. There is a reason why I don't have more kids.