Isn't this a space for sometimes difficult discussion?

[Slime_Punk]

One thing that has bothered me a little in the past years is that being a man seems to have been twisted into something negative. For example the phrase toxic masculinity. It's just a little upsetting, you're born a man, you grow up a man and then you have people telling you that who and what you are is wrong. How can it be wrong when we are born that way. It's not nice and people seem to expect us to just swallow it and accept it. Men are often masculine, that's just nature. It's not something men did or chose. I just think it's not nice.

What's weird is that it's also deemed not-OK to have feminine traits as a man. Which one does society want? lol

I think, oddly, you described the negative connotations coming from females and I described the ones coming from other males, but it's still funny that people want to try to shape society through other people instead of themselves.

 

[Outdated]

What's weird is that it's also deemed not-OK to have feminine traits as a man. Which one does society want? lol

Who cares what society wants? I learnt very early on what it is that most ladies want and that's what I tried to be. Middling success there, I still have to be me. Putting on an act of being a tough man only attracts the dumb ones, but the girls that interested me certainly weren't attracted to little boys or effeminate men.

Men and women are no different to each other here, what they say they want and what they are attracted to are often two entirely different things.

[Edit] The women I was interested in mostly never seemed to be as interested in me, but for some reason I always attracted the really tall ones. I'm only 5'8" but I've never had a girlfriend shorter than me.

 

[VictorR]

For me, difficult discussions help us explore who we are, which is always an existential question.

But even more so, they give those who are unable to (for whatever reason) participate in the discussions the opportunity to learn about and explore things, and perhaps feel less alone - whether it's validating some thoughts they had, feeling less alone, or seeing some perspectives that they might not have considered. Vive la difference.

 

[Angular Chap]

One thing that has bothered me a little in the past years is that being a man seems to have been twisted into something negative. For example the phrase toxic masculinity. It's just a little upsetting, you're born a man, you grow up a man and then you have people telling you that who and what you are is wrong. How can it be wrong when we are born that way. It's not nice and people seem to expect us to just swallow it and accept it.

Absolutely. Con merchants on the internet do that deliberately to provoke an angry response. We are being poked, prodded and provoked, daily. It's just a way to get attention. They don't care about the damage they are doing long term. Do your duty and recognize their tactics, then ignore them. The best example you can set is to deprive them of the attention and focus on the positive things that us men can be doing for others. And people WILL voice their appreciation!

When we heterosexual, cisgender guys talk about other genders and other sexualities, other identities, it's very powerful if done right. It empowers people. Every time we bring these things up day to day, it advances the rights of marginalized people, bit by bit. Great to see people on here setting a fine example for myself and others to follow.

 

[Forest Cat]

A strong man can also mean a male who embraces his feminine side without feeling guilty about it. You may like the color pink, you may like fluffy slippers, you may like laughing like a giggly girl, this doesn't mean anything, and doesn't define you. You may want to cry at sad movies, guess what? That's okay too. Authentic people embrace all of themselves and don't need to mimic standards handed to us by consumer corporate entities who need to bring in revenue.

Yeah I don't think being masculine or being a man means that you have to behave like Clint Eastwood in a 1960s cowboy movie all the time.