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Just thinking out loud...

Misty Avich said:
but he doesn't seem to care that a woman going there alone in the dark is a health and safety risk.
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This is a legitimate concern.
Do you have a human resource person you can talk about this to?
The last time I checked here, there needed to be at least 2 ppl at a worksite for safety reasons.
 
Jonn said:
This is a legitimate concern.
Do you have a human resource person you can talk about this to?
The last time I checked here, there needed to be at least 2 ppl at a worksite for safety reasons.
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I don't know if we have a HR here in the UK. I guess I could speak to the union. It's for my safety, I don't like being out at certain times of the day. It is actually advisable for women not to be out alone at certain times of the day as this city has a high crime rate and incel behaviour. I have anxiety about being out in public anyway.

There are sometimes people in the other building and I feel fine once I'm in there but it's the walking from the van to the building that terrifies me. You're not allowed to park the van, as the building is in an awkward place, so I have to be dropped off and picked up again. But you can't drive down the road where the building is, so I have to be dropped off in a different street then walk to the building. I can't even begin to imagine what that would be like when it gets dark early, especially on a Saturday. I just want to stay on one premises and work there.
 
Misty Avich said:
There are sometimes people in the other building and I feel fine once I'm in there but it's the walking from the van to the building that terrifies me
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Is someone giving you a lift?
If so, perhaps they could walk you to the door?
 
Jonn said:
Is someone giving you a lift?
If so, perhaps they could walk you to the door?
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Sometimes but not always. It depends if there's any parking spaces available or if they have other drivers they need to pick up, etc.
I just hate people who come along and say "so-and-so needs doing every day". I understand some things needing to be cleaned every day, like public restaurants, public restrooms, and places that are required to be kept clean and germ-free, such as hospitals, care homes, etc. But here, it is not used by the public, the drivers that go in there usually clean the toilet and wipe the tables down themselves, and the place doesn't need to be vacuumed 7 days a week, the bins don't need to be emptied every day, it is not essential to have to have someone go down there and do all that 7 days a week.
 
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I've asked to change my hours at work, though it's not going to solve the other building anxiety but will solve the candy boy anxiety. I will have to sort out the former myself via the union.

I haven't told my husband yet, I will when I finish tonight. I know it's not going to be what he wants to hear, as it would mean he'll have to come and collect me a bit later than usual, when he has to get up for work early next morning. But it's not incredibly late, only 9pm.
And don't say something like "if he doesn't like it, leave him, as it means he wasn't a good husband anyway", I hate that platitude. As if after 10 years of being together I'm going to divorce him just because of that.

Reason for divorce: Wasn't keen on the idea of me doing a different shift at work. 😂
 
Misty Avich said:
I've asked to change my hours at work, though it's not going to solve the other building anxiety but will solve the candy boy anxiety.
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Brilliant move.
I didn't think of that.
Kudos. 👍

And don't say something like "if he doesn't like it, leave him,
D'oh!
 
My supervisor had a go at me today, as in shouted, because I'd emailed the head office people about my distress of going to the other building. He said I should have spoken to him first, but I did a few days ago and he wouldn't listen, and he said that if head office say so then so be it. So I heeded those words and thought I'd put it in writing to the head office people who came up with this new rule, as that was what I was advised to do by an administrator colleague.

He thinks I "just don't like doing it", and won't listen to the reason why I don't like doing it. I told him it's because I'm afraid of being targeted by louts on my way down there and just feel vulnerable with all these incels about and the talk of riots currently. I don't even want to go out alone, I'm so agoraphobic. My husband drives me to and from work every day because I just can't face the walk. I can't help it. If there was a better justice system for these killers then I might feel safer on the streets, but right now the UK is so hellbent on respecting the human rights of these killers, that it takes away the human rights for others. I'm terrified of the streets at the moment. I can't help it.
 
What really hurts me is that a female colleague (only about 8 years older than me) was cycling home from work one day, at 2.30 in the afternoon, when she suddenly got pushed off her bike by three thugs and they ran off with her bike. She phoned work in a frenzy and a few other colleagues went out looking for the thugs, and when they were talking about it the next day at work they were saying that she was going through a bad neighbourhood when it happened and that they wouldn't want their wives going down there alone even if it is in broad daylight.

But nobody seems to understand my fears and vulnerabilities when going to the other building in early evening or in the dark alone, which is down a lonely alley where drug-users gather and I've been intimidated down there before when going to the other building while at work. They just say I'm capable and that I shouldn't be scared of everything and that nothing bad happens in this city...except for murders, stabbings, fights, robberies, thugs stealing bikes, hard drug dealing, incels, etc, not just at night but in broad daylight. I know that if I bring up to my supervisor about the other woman getting her bike stolen, he'll just say "well you won't be on a bike, will you?" not knowing that's hardly the point I'm trying to make.

I just feel alone in fighting this battle. The head office want the other building cleaned 7 days a week and everyone seems scared to fight against it. Well I'm not. I am on to it, as I am not going to be put in a vulnerable position with my mental health state and a supervisor who doesn't listen. I don't need this stress, I'm going to end up becoming ill with stress soon.
 
Jonn said:
Do you feel like you want to find another job?
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Well, yes and no. I've always wanted to work at a bus depot, and it was kind of a miracle when I found out I got the job. Looking for a new job just fills me with anxiety and I have difficulties applying for jobs online, which is what most companies want you to do now. Also we're looking for a new home, so I think looking for a new job right now would be more stressful for me. Anyway, I think all jobs have something that sucks about it, wherever you go. I'd like to work from home but it seems easier said than done, and where I live at the moment, as you know, is not a suitable environment for working from home, with the constant noise above my head all day long. It would drive me insane and have an affect on my work. I have to be living in a quieter apartment or house first, with more considerate neighbours and nobody living above unless it's a well-built building with solid flooring that muffles a lot of upstairs neighbour noise.
 
thejuice said:
your boss is rubbish!
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He's not the best at understanding people, or seeing things from other people's perspectives. No, he's not an Aspie, far from it, but being unable to see things from other's perspectives is not a trait of autism anyway, as plenty of NTs have this disadvantage too. At least Aspies are more likely to admit to it, while NTs like my supervisor just think they're right and just don't understand that there are minds that work differently from their's.
 
^
A pity.
I thought you two got on well at one time.
Wasn't he the guy that insisted you get paid for the hours your weren't rostered?
 
I think you made a thread about arguing with your boss in a playful way?
You came to work when you weren't officially rostered.
You said you didn't want to be paid but your boss(?) insisted.
I said he must value you highly.
 
Jonn said:
I think you made a thread about arguing with your boss in a playful way?
You came to work when you weren't officially rostered.
You said you didn't want to be paid but your boss(?) insisted.
I said he must value you highly.
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Oh yes, I remember now. No, he was the 'big boss', not my supervisor . Also he left the company ages ago.
 
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