Think about contacting these people What is a refuge and how can I stay in one? - Womens Aid
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Roxiee
~ broken but beautiful ~
I heard of women's aid, maybe tomorrow been through so much tonight, I'm struggling to even cope with my eyes lol
PROUD of you. And again, REMEMBER this when you again start to doubt youre self and he perhaps trying to get you to come home because he so loves you and he is so sorry, and he will never ever do that again. because that's all crap from his side he needs professional help to be a reel man.
Roxiee
~ broken but beautiful ~
I got told he may kill me if I go back. My daughter needs me
Try to get some well earnt sleep Roxiee you deserve it (HUGS )
Roxiee
~ broken but beautiful ~
I'm burnt out, I'm gonna take little steps I'm gonna try eat some fruit before I head to sleep I am almost home
You do that. Im VERY honerd to have met you today Roxiee and you have learnt very quickly, and you are most definitely one of the fastest i ever had the honor of trying to help my young friend.
Roxiee
~ broken but beautiful ~
Thank yiu so much!
Physical starvation and abuse do that to you ,I had an infection lost 2-3 stones in weight ,it weakens your eyes, get some sleep ^-^
Roxiee
~ broken but beautiful ~
I'm honored to have met you too!
I've learnt, I have better things to prove and show that I have a lovely life, things will get tough but thats what I need to build myself up again
I've learnt, I have better things to prove and show that I have a lovely life, things will get tough but thats what I need to build myself up again
I sympathize with this. When you feel like this, it is so easy that you get into this loop. But you have a focus and a vulnerable person to pour all your love into. I’m glad you have this focus. Please keep it, she does need you. A mom is way better to her than having a grandmother raising her. I almost lost my mom (to illness) and spent some time with my grandparents but it’s no substitute for being raised by a parent.
Seek out medical professional support. You can even go to a walk in clinic. Try the hotlines if you’re in need. Talk to someone.
Same. I sill self harm but at my lowest point when I’ve really thought about it, I can’t leave my cats. And parents. But my cats give me purpose.
Was at my lowest point in the first year of the pandemic , it had nothing to do with the pandemic but last year, during a sparse good day, I decided to try to post inspirational messages And stick the, on my wall. They’re still up. One says to keep looking for that sunshine, whilst another says take a day at a time.
YES!
Really good to see this.
Tough DOESN'T mean letting someone assault you or say you're worthless ,it means feel the pain but get help FIGHT
Roxiee
~ broken but beautiful ~
Thank you! I'm here for you, hugs!
Jordy
Well-Known Member
Why would i want medical help? I don't think you really get it. Are they going to cure my autism? Make me not ugly, make people treat me better, undo events from the past? Are they going to be my friends? They gonna help me get an apartment, give me a job with friendly work environment, make me fit in at college? No one can do anything other than give you some words, nicely strong together hopeful works, if that's what i needed i would read some poems.
I'm so tired of these useless fixes for our problems, therapy doesn't help, encouragement doesn't help, well meaning words don't help. Real support for autistic adults is what would help, but we are not getting. And it's always my life, i shouldn't need to life just keep others happy, if i wouldn't want to life anymore i should be allowed to.
But i don't want to hijack this thread because it was someone else's. Just wanted to show i relate to wanting to die.
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And you don’t think that I don’t want most of these things myself? What others may want?
adult support is bare minimum and most support is for children, however it was a suggestion that if you need help, see if you can get access to what is available.
@Owliet and @phantom
I see both of your points of view. I mean, Phantom is correct in that if one thinks the medical persons are going to help the majority of patients with much, much less with anything, with regards to what Autistics mostly want, need or can handle, then this is a myth, as the medical community has their own set of needs, expectations, rigid routines and beliefs often separate from our own, doing things either just in their best interest or because how their system is set up. Does this mean I feel the medical community could not help with something? Not necessarily, as many who go to seek out medical help get at least something neutral or slightly positive from that, but for many others, if not most others, and this is not rocket science, the medical community can also do nothing concrete or practical for us, to make our living situations better, or they can make matters worse if they do not listen, make appropriate contacts or referrals, or if they do not give extended efforts different from their protocols, or if they assume things. In our case, I admit I and my family received not much for our medical attempts there, or we suffered more than were helped, and that was based on tons of experiences there.
However, I see the other point of view too, regarding why not try to see some medical provider, if not another not tried before if the past ones were of little or no help, as there is a chance if things are so bad that you cannot help yourself on your own, or accept or act on other's good advice or help, or if one's mindset is off in many ways such that one has given up, then the risks would seem less and potential benefits more, if one reached out for medical and other help. Even if that medical or other entity could not assist in the ways one needed, they could make contacts and referrals to someone who could assist more in those ways. For instance, there are centers that are supposed to help with independent living for those disabled, and even for those not labeled as disabled yet, there are benefits--medical and monthly income--for those who apply for and are accepted for such, or if a wise, support person or lawyer helps there. They have very low cost housing for those who are disabled and/or with very low incomes, too, and often help such that one can get a support person to visit monthly to help out with things. They have other community resources as well, support groups and other, including Adult Protective Services, too.
So, I admit, I can see both points of view here, as when I read these types of threads where persons have given up, my first thoughts are to have empathy with these persons there, as I was there too. It really bothers me that there are not more accepting and understanding persons--and more hands-on helping from such persons in a one-to-one way focusing on their specific needs. And I realize the pain and loneliness of being alone, as I lived alone for twenty years, having to fend for myself and feeling like nobody cared about persons like me. I did not enjoy feeling bullied, criticized and rejected most of my entire life because I could not talk much and seemed abnormally timid and weird. But, when I hit bottom, something in me told me I do not want them to win. Pity towards myself changed to a desire to find happiness and some feeling of success without most of them. I clung to the little positives and decided to build off of that by finding "something for me."
I wonder though why some who are about to give up often discount other sound advice given, with regards to things such as: low-cost housing, applying for disability benefits, trying to find more compatible others to live with and/or that could assist, crisis hotlines, community resources, etc, if not be just because of lack of needed energy there? I mean, these persons seem intelligent in ways, and granted they must be strong in many ways to lived through lots of bad things, and I see them often having energy to do other things, but I wish each of these persons could not only find out what they really want, after brainstorming, but to then put that plan into action and prioritizing there by reaching out more to others in a more direct way, instead of expecting others to know exactly what they want, need and can handle. There are always at least a few in any community that would listen there and attempt to help there.
I have said this before, but support, like kind words, hugs and such, only goes so far. It may make us feel less alone, scared and even make us feel better about ourselves, yes, and that is all needed so I thank those on this forum that gave the efforts there, but eventually, the energy and efforts needs to also be diverted to reaching out in other ways to these persons that cannot help themselves and/or for those in harms way to directly tell others what they need. A statement of "I need help" does nothing for me, as it is not a well-thought-out request, and as we all have different needs. However, if someone told me or another very caring and open minded person like me, "Hey, I think I can live alone because I can do a,b, and c by myself and I need to try it as I am serious in that I must get away from my current place as it is hell here," or if they said, "I need someone to help me with getting a job that fits me, to make my mind less anxious or sad, or to get disability benefits" those are examples what the others want to hear, to be able to inquire more. And then they could more likely act, if that other still cannot for whatever reason.
I see both of your points of view. I mean, Phantom is correct in that if one thinks the medical persons are going to help the majority of patients with much, much less with anything, with regards to what Autistics mostly want, need or can handle, then this is a myth, as the medical community has their own set of needs, expectations, rigid routines and beliefs often separate from our own, doing things either just in their best interest or because how their system is set up. Does this mean I feel the medical community could not help with something? Not necessarily, as many who go to seek out medical help get at least something neutral or slightly positive from that, but for many others, if not most others, and this is not rocket science, the medical community can also do nothing concrete or practical for us, to make our living situations better, or they can make matters worse if they do not listen, make appropriate contacts or referrals, or if they do not give extended efforts different from their protocols, or if they assume things. In our case, I admit I and my family received not much for our medical attempts there, or we suffered more than were helped, and that was based on tons of experiences there.
However, I see the other point of view too, regarding why not try to see some medical provider, if not another not tried before if the past ones were of little or no help, as there is a chance if things are so bad that you cannot help yourself on your own, or accept or act on other's good advice or help, or if one's mindset is off in many ways such that one has given up, then the risks would seem less and potential benefits more, if one reached out for medical and other help. Even if that medical or other entity could not assist in the ways one needed, they could make contacts and referrals to someone who could assist more in those ways. For instance, there are centers that are supposed to help with independent living for those disabled, and even for those not labeled as disabled yet, there are benefits--medical and monthly income--for those who apply for and are accepted for such, or if a wise, support person or lawyer helps there. They have very low cost housing for those who are disabled and/or with very low incomes, too, and often help such that one can get a support person to visit monthly to help out with things. They have other community resources as well, support groups and other, including Adult Protective Services, too.
So, I admit, I can see both points of view here, as when I read these types of threads where persons have given up, my first thoughts are to have empathy with these persons there, as I was there too. It really bothers me that there are not more accepting and understanding persons--and more hands-on helping from such persons in a one-to-one way focusing on their specific needs. And I realize the pain and loneliness of being alone, as I lived alone for twenty years, having to fend for myself and feeling like nobody cared about persons like me. I did not enjoy feeling bullied, criticized and rejected most of my entire life because I could not talk much and seemed abnormally timid and weird. But, when I hit bottom, something in me told me I do not want them to win. Pity towards myself changed to a desire to find happiness and some feeling of success without most of them. I clung to the little positives and decided to build off of that by finding "something for me."
I wonder though why some who are about to give up often discount other sound advice given, with regards to things such as: low-cost housing, applying for disability benefits, trying to find more compatible others to live with and/or that could assist, crisis hotlines, community resources, etc, if not be just because of lack of needed energy there? I mean, these persons seem intelligent in ways, and granted they must be strong in many ways to lived through lots of bad things, and I see them often having energy to do other things, but I wish each of these persons could not only find out what they really want, after brainstorming, but to then put that plan into action and prioritizing there by reaching out more to others in a more direct way, instead of expecting others to know exactly what they want, need and can handle. There are always at least a few in any community that would listen there and attempt to help there.
I have said this before, but support, like kind words, hugs and such, only goes so far. It may make us feel less alone, scared and even make us feel better about ourselves, yes, and that is all needed so I thank those on this forum that gave the efforts there, but eventually, the energy and efforts needs to also be diverted to reaching out in other ways to these persons that cannot help themselves and/or for those in harms way to directly tell others what they need. A statement of "I need help" does nothing for me, as it is not a well-thought-out request, and as we all have different needs. However, if someone told me or another very caring and open minded person like me, "Hey, I think I can live alone because I can do a,b, and c by myself and I need to try it as I am serious in that I must get away from my current place as it is hell here," or if they said, "I need someone to help me with getting a job that fits me, to make my mind less anxious or sad, or to get disability benefits" those are examples what the others want to hear, to be able to inquire more. And then they could more likely act, if that other still cannot for whatever reason.
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Thats great Roxiee . As i said youre one step closer to getting back again. Just take things one step at a time dear
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