Let's Talk about Stimming

[tducey]

May have had it in the past but can't say it's something I've done very often.

 

[SplendidSnail]

When I was 14, my mother made some comment about me not sitting still, and I said, "I was!" She bet me that I couldn't sit completely still for 5 minutes. It was torture. I didn't make it.

When I was in high school I played a dead person in the play "Our Town". The role involved sitting completely still for the entire third act of the play, except for when I had a line. I did manage to do it, but boy was it hard!

 

[Shaun-Junior Bishop]

I'm a H.F.A aspie and for a while I didnt have any that I was aware of but later got told I would make fists and shake them either by my face or flap them when I got excited or overwhelmed. Then I started to use things like learning how to do the Rubix cube in under 30 seconds and now I carry it with me everywhere because I find that it's a stim thats not to much for the people around me.

 

[Graphin]

that actually sounds like a really good idea.

A good way of stealth stimming is inside jacket pockets, at best some pullover where the hands can touch eachother.

 

[invisibility003]

My main stims are:

- Making sounds like a cat and swiping like a cat when I get frustrated/angry/nervous/excited etc. (or if I just feel like doing it, I just do it for no reason)
- Biting lip and pulling skin off top lip
- Waving hands around madly if I get frustrated, especially if I can't explain something and I'm getting really mad
- Chewing fingernails and pulling strips off sides of fingernails with teeth (gross, I know, but I can't stop it)
- Jiggling legs madly
- Tapping fingers on desk in time to imaginary songs in my head

 

[Daydreamer]

When I'm stressed, I hand flap. Not for long, it's usually in quick bursts. I used to be under the impression that I only acted this way in private, but one day I stressed out on a train over my upcoming work projects when I was sitting with a friend.

That's when he remarked "You know how I can tell that you're stressed? Because whenever you are you do this" and then he imitated me flapping my hands. Which was quite surprising, because up until then I thought that most people hadn't seen me do that. But I guess it must just be something that I do without thinking, I suppose when you're caught up with feeling stressed you don't always put much thought into how your body is acting.

Makes me wonder though, how much do I do that without realising? The first question I wondered was Why didn't anyone say anything earlier?, but then, why would they? I know that it is a behaviour that tends to be associated with young children and/or autistic individuals, but of course it can be present in non-autistic adults as well.

I have to wonder if anyone here can relate to thinking that they don't do certain things in public but it turns out that they actually do. This revelation makes me a little self-conscious about my body language, but oh well. I'd never have known if my friend didn't point it out to me...which is strange to think about. But I suppose that there's plenty of things we all do without realising to a certain degree. Life is strange.

 

[stans]

As a scientist/musician I find it pretty easy to get away with rhythmically using hands or feet, whistling and humming and having it regarded as a musician's habit as opposed to stimming.

 

[BrokenBoy]

Non functional echolalia and and sometimes at school I might rock back and forth in my desk.

 

[Danno]

So in my efforts to learn more about myself ahead of starting the process of getting formally diagnosed (my appointment to see my GP to start things off is fast approaching but at times doesn't feel not fast enough), I've been looking at different aspects of my life specifically in terms of how a potential ASD diagnosis may explain it.

I mean, heck, if I'm going to overthink *anyway* I might as well put it to semi-good use.

Anyway, the last couple of days in particular I've been looking at stimming, things I do that may well be interpreted as stimming, and how they relate to/affect me.

When I was younger especially, I used to pick at my skin, and a number of times would scratch so hard at the same point I'd break skin and end up with random scabs on myself for weeks at a time. I don't do that so much/so hardcore these days which is good.

I also used to pull a few strands of my hair out at a time - at the time with both the scratching and the hair pulling I didn't know why I was doing it, just that it felt good/right/wholesome. These days I can see how such behaviours can be classed as sell harm and so with the stigma associated with that, try not to do it so much...

On a lighter note, I think the reason I find crochet (and also for the last week or so, knitting) so fulfilling is because it's both a stim (repetitive motions with tactile interaction) and also a "special interest". I spend hours researching patterns, experimenting, watching videos of people creating stuff, and generally just having fun... When I get in to it the rest of the world might as well be a black hole because nothing else exists except me and my stitches.

Nothing annoys me (at times borderline-angers me) more than when I'm interrupted mid-stitch (the times when I haven't "tuned out" the rest of the world) and I almost end up throwing my work across the room or even ripping it up in frustration.

I've been a smoker for the past 9 years, and only just realised today that even smoking a cigarette for me may also be a form of stim - flicking the end even when I don't need to flick the ash, feeling the filter tip between my fingers...

And then of course there's the blob of blu tack I keep on the corner of my PC keyboard at work which depending on how the day's going, might end up being rather heavily played with by the time I clock off... Wouldn't be so bad except I work in a call centre (not exactly the most spectrum-friendly work environment) and the company prefers we don't allow ourselves to be distracted in any way whilst talking to customers, so I guess I'm kinda just waiting for the day it gets brought up and I have to explain how it actually helps me focus etc...

On top of all these, there's then just the generic foot tapping, leg wiggling, random-throat-clearing-for-no-reason...

But yeah, looking at all of this now, with a more "I may have ASD" mindset, it certainly does explain a lot!

Right, now I've got my frustrations out by pounding my keyboard, I might try getting back to my knitting after being "interrupted" by my niece who only wanted me to clear the table so she could sit down to dinner Almost ended up snapping at her so hat to remove myself from the situation afterwards because it's not often I snap but when I do I REALLY don't like it

 

[Nihil]

I drum on random objects sometimes. Usually when I'm alone.

 

[Emma03]

A list can help people see that they aren’t the only ones.
Here are what I perceive as my stims:

• Tapping my fingers
• Repeatedly flicking the palms of my hands
• Shaking my leg
• Humming, so that I can hear it in the back of my head and block out sounds around me
• Digging my finger nails into the sides of each hand, in order to distract myself from the current situation
• Twisting a hair tie around my fingers, literally constantly, until it breaks.
• Folding any paper in my hands into weird random things that don’t even resemble anything
• Ripping paper into little pieces, because I like the way it feels
• Chewing on things like the bottom of a plastic water bottle, or my earbuds.
• Biting the sides of my mouth to help block out people around me
• I basically lay on my back and kick in the air when I get really excited or jittery, only in my room though, otherwise it draws too much attention to me
• Peeling and picking at the skin around my thumbs, and sometimes my fingers
• If I get stressed in public or really anywhere I sway from side to side
• I like to tap out songs or patterns with my fingers, hands, feet, legs, etc. It can really annoy people around me, especially in school.

Hope that these actually make some sense, have a good day!
-Emma

 

[Jojo_LB]

While standing: swaying from side to side, hugging myself while doing twists about my waist, tapping the ground with my toes (lift leg, bend at the knee, and then tap down on the ground/floor a few times, then change leg and do it again), rocking back and forth on toes and heels, kicking something that is in my immediate vicinity (a pole, a tree, a rock, a bottle, the side of a building, fire hydrant, etc)

While sitting: bouncing legs, tapping on table, fidgeting with whatever is within my reach on the table

In general: fidgeting (I've got a ton of fidget toys), playing with hair, humming, talking to myself quietly and as discreetly as possible, deep breaths (deep breath in, loud exhale with mouth open), picking cuticles, looking around a lot trying not to focus on any one thing but especially the things that are causing me stress, listening to music

 

[Tom]

• I basically lay on my back and kick in the air when I get really excited or jittery, only in my room though, otherwise it draws too much attention to me

That's called the Dead Bug and is used in exercises, yoga and also is (was) a dance.

 

[Markyg]

Im awaiting letter confirming diagnosis...or not, after assessment last sunday.

Until recently, i wasnt even aware stimming was a thing, and other then constantly rubbing the inside of my lower teeth with my tongue....i don't know...guess im waiting for confirmation to think about it more.

But i do know when the dr. had me do the 'tell a story to a picture book with no words' and 'tell a story about these objects"....when she then handed me a cow and said it was a butterfly....which obviously it wasnt (i couldnt do either of the above...). My leg tapping was about 200bpm. Never consciously felt myself doing that before.....

Curiously as i paused after writing above i caught myself running a fingernail from one hand under the nail on the other.

Dont know what does or doesnt qualify, plus in a bit of a nether world waiting for letter ‍

 

[Anarkitty]

I bounce a lot while standing, or I twist back and forth at my waist and make my purse swing.

When sitting, I rock, either back and forth or side to side.

I flap my hands when I feel really overwhelmed.

I bite my bottom lip or the inside of my mouth, and I fidget with anything that comes to hand.

I use to make noises with my mouth, but those made people crazy.

I think I stim more now, like I stopped repressing. It's hard to tell, though, what I'm doing more often and what I'm simply noticing now.

My husband says he remembers me bouncing a lot back when we first met. He took it as flirting.

 

[Rasputin]

I had never heard of the term stimming before joining these forums, and initially I did not think I did this. Then recently I became aware of myself staring at a wall and rocking back and forth during a meeting with my boss at work. When this happened there was a 20 minute or so dialogue of idle chit chat between my boss and a co-worker. During this time I said nothing, did not make eye contact, and just spaced off rocking back and forth against a wall.

Then a few days earlier while deep in thought I found myself pacing back and forth, which I sometimes do when planning.

When I was rocking back and forth, I was not consciously aware at first. Is that unusual to not be aware when one is stimming?

 

[Judge]

When I was rocking back and forth, I was not consciously aware at first. Is that unusual to not be aware when one is stimming?

Probably not unless you and I are the only people doing it.

That's one of my stims as well. Especially if I stand in front of my widescreen tv. Go figure.

 

[Ylva]

I was unaware of it before I knew I was autistic, probably because I mainly did it during shutdowns, mini-shutdowns, or meltdowns. Now that I know I can deal with sensory overload by stimming, I can deal before I get completely overloaded.

 

[Kalinychta]

Rocking in a chair at work and pacing are sort of “normal” stims (as in, they’re not uncommon among people who aren’t autistic), so I can definitely see how you wouldn’t really notice them. Do you rock or pace to self-soothe when you’re anxious, stressed, sad, or even happy or excited? That’s the biggest thing that differentiates autistic stims from non-autistic stims.

 

[Aspychata]

I never knew this until l came to this site. I wrote off my stimming ways to nervous bundled up energy. Because my feet have their own life and they can tap out Morse code for impromptu spaces of time. So you will probably catch more of your stims now. Because we have done them for so long, it is our normal compared to other non-stimming types.