Letting go of the past, being stuck in the past and moving forward

[Au Naturel]

Nah, and it’s very obvious and easy to prove. Anyone could go to gay bars and straight bars and count the number of instances of grabbing of private parts.

The issue is that previously beat down gay kids motivated to make things better for kids in the future like them are almost the only ones who study things.

Grabbing of private parts is only a crime if the grabbed person objects. That may not be the same for the two examples.

 

[Jumpback]

Grabbing of private parts is only a crime if the grabbed person objects. That may not be the same for the two examples.

I’m sure that a lot of gay men care about such things, but there is a very complicated set of issues going on.

For example, google “The LGBT+ community needs to question Chemsex culture”. Or google Reynhard Singa

For example, small doses of the date rape drug GHB tend to be used at some Chemsex parties, meth has also been a party drug. These things end up leading to a lot of unwanted sexual assaults by gay men against gay men which are difficult to mention and for gay men to get justice for

Then Singa used date rape drug to sexually assault 190 men, including 48 known victims who were raped, and the majority of his victims are straight

But the thing is that the majority of people who study things at the university level are gay men, and those who aren’t are gay advocates. Like they have the power to present the best possible presentation of their own people since they are the experts

So it’s like experts could actually research why in the world sexual assault of gay men by gay men is such a big issue and why these things aren’t taken seriously, but it’s like if these experts, who are mostly previously beat down gay kids very interested in advocacy for gay kids of the future actually look into why gay culture has so much sexual assault issues within gay communities and why date rape drugs are party drugs and so on, they risk freaking out the greater community, so they won’t even look into why sexual assault of gays by gays is such an issue

But, see, I am coming from getting harassed and bullied in school and I go to college, and in first year I am assigned two gay suite mates, then second year in dorms, three gay suite mates. For a second I try to pledge fraternity, and even with this president of my pledge class and another pledge come out as gay later. Two of my bosses at work are closeted gay men, one of which sexually asaults and later gets in trouble for violence at a gay bar. Since I don’t fit in with other things, I hang out with more liberal people, but when I think I am making a male friend, it ends up they are closeted gay and they are interested in me. I did not even realize gay men might be interested in straight men, and I did not even know two roommates were closeted gay men who had feelings for me before I organized my life around them.

Very first time I drink too much at a party, which was really about frustrations with girlfriends gay friend not leaving me alone and her ignoring this, I get sexually assaulted by her gay friend and his boyfriend

It’s like I am stuck with issues gay men have with sexual assaults not being taken seriously, plus assumptions that straight men accusing gay men of wrong doing must have hate or something, plus just being clueless for being ASD, plus also being cut off from normal help due to assumptions and judgements about me from sexual assaults and roommate issues

But, literally the entire issue is that I went to a university in the location in the state where gay men tend to move to in the exact location where gay men tend to move to, and I felt like an oppressed minority due to bullying for being weird, and the only guy I saw being harassed more than me was also only black and also only obviously gay guy in school. So I was super sympathetic to gay causes

But everything around this issue is so very, very, very political. And I understand why because of oppression of minorities and so on. But, like Jesus Christ, I am also a minority and an oppressed person, I mean I stopped talking in high school and had a nervous breakdown in high school from harassment and bullying. I had no idea how to even deal with people in rural environment where I could escape and be myself and I actually needed help for ASD and anxiety and adhd and so on, but then I find myself in the middle of incredibly complicated and sensitive things involving LGBT+ issues. Like I had no idea what was going on at all, I was just trying to be nice to and accepting of oppressed minorities who I was especially sympathetic to because my realities seemed to be similar to theirs

Like first girlfriends gay friend won’t leave me alone, but then he starts talking about how difficult it is to be black and gay and all his suicidal issues. Then he has weird ideas about claiming to be bisexual but actually just being gay because it’s more acceptable, then pursuing straight men to make being okay and so on. He was clearly very messed up. So I put up with a lot due to being sympathetic, but then him and his boyfriend sexually assault me and enough is enough, but, no obvious sexual assault must be about me cheating in gay threesome or repressed homosexuality plus hatred of gays as why I was so upset and on and on and on, which also cut me off from normal help for ASD

Then, like with last roommate, I just want to trade stocks and commodities and futures with my friend from college, but it’s hard to do this while working a regular job. So I spend all my money and buy a huge stock of eBay items which I fill his place with, so I can gradually sell these things off and we can trade. But then he wants to fill out paperwork as a married couple, then he wants to watch porn together, then he feels like he was “made gay” and wants to have someone who loves him live with him, plus he is having a nervous breakdown and ends up being hospitalized.......

......So I have to move huge number of eBay items by not sleeping and losing everything very fast and sleeping in my car, trying to sell things from storage unit

.....then ex-girlfriend rescues me from homelessness and we get along great, but both her grandfathers die and they are both millionaires and I am homeless guy who makes a mess since she has no basement. Plus I keep trying to explain by how I want to take advantage of stick market plummets by using options on futures which no one understands, then I try to explain my predicament, but she was best man at her gay friends wedding, person she talks to most is very motivated advocate and they just decide I have maybe hate issues, then her family wants to get rid of me while her father is dying who does not approve of me

But anything I try, I go on one site for ptsd and I get kicked off for hate because they don’t believe me, I go on other site and get kicked off for hate. I try to get adhd and ASD addressed by psychs, but all that is seen is disorders or hate or sexual assault trauma and on and on

So girlfriend who I love dearly is gone, really just because of gay sexual assault issues and roommate issues not being rationally addressed

I don’t know what exactly my motivation is in talking about things, but it is not hate or repressed things or secretly seeking out things and other absurdities

 

[Jumpback]

It’s very difficult for me to explain anything without there being assumptions about me, so what occurs to me is to flip things around

Like say you are a woman and get harassed and bullied a lot in school for having ASD, including books knocked out of your hand and spitballs and violent head slapping and other torments, which everyone ignores. But your school is all black and gay, and the sole person who gets tormented more than you is the sole straight white woman. And imagine that homosexuality is normal, but heterosexuality is not and you are homosexual like almost everyone else, but the issue is your ASD.

So you go to college, obviously feeling sympathy for straight white women for rational reasons and there are endless messages about how straight white women are victims of hate, almost incapable of wrongdoing, and there is a social problem where black gays are abusive and this hate must be stood up against, which makes sense, because this matches your experiences, because you are also an oppressed victim.

But then straight white women keep trying to conquest you and sexually assaulting you and maneuvering you into living situations where your homosexuality, but straight white women control all research and a super majority of people who tell people what reality is control things because they are oppressed white heterosexual women

But then you end up being inconvenient to heterosexual white women, because even though they are an abused minority in general society, they are a super majority in psych research and a very strong majorityamong psych profession, so everything must be about your repressed heterosexual desires and hatred of heterosexual whites and your delusions and obsessions for your experiences not matching what super majority which controls things, which is heterosexual white women, because you are just inconvenient

So being ASD, you just believe that the experts are correct and sexual assaults mean terrible things wrong with you, which just leads to more abuse by heterosexual white women. But then if you try to explain, there is a pattern of behavior of your secretly seeking out heterosexual relationships, which just proves even more things wrong with you and terrible about you

Or something like this, because people just believe accusing heterosexual white women, who are an oppressed minority, just must prove things about the victim, because heterosexual white women have all the power, so they can portray themselves as incapable of wrongdoing and punish those who fail to agree.

And looking things up to prove that ones realities might be valid just makes things worse yet, since this is seen as an obsession with heterosexual white women, because others still don’t believe that heterosexual white women actually commit wrongs, so these is even more evidence of things terrible about you as a black lesbian woman

 

[Jumpback]

Look, I’m just saying that women know what straight men are likely to do, and if they get very obviously sexually assaulted this is likely to be taken somewhat seriously. It’s wrong, but it’s very straightforward

But this issue has layers upon layers upon layers of complicated issues about society and minority rights and politics and on and on, just to be made aware that an issue exists or for a crime to be taken seriously

But I am going straight from spending all my time alone and avoiding people and getting harassed and bullied in school, straight to sexual assaults and roommate issues with no break and no help and not only no sympathy, but assumptions that my repressed things or what ever, or best case scenario, my sexual assault trauma means I don’t actually have ASD or ADHD and the real issue is not wrongs commit against me, but what is driving me to party with gay men and why my hate must prove my frustration or why I am delusional because my realities are inconvenient, or why I am up to endless things and what secret things are driving me to these things and on and on and on and on

Things are not coming from me. I am trying to be nice and need help with a ASD issues, and then very, very obvious sexual assaults and manipulations occurred, and I was upset. But others only see other things which are very political and complicated

It’s a hellish issue, worse than any other I can think of to be stuck with. And I only believe this as a result of looking back. Ignoring sexual assault and victim blaming made me feel like I was severely disturbed and malformed, so I put up with other sexual assaults and other closeted gay roommates aggression and attempts to get at me when drinking, violently needing to fight him off

And so on

Like it’s actually not hard, men commit sexual assault crimes and minorities commit more crimes than majorities due to oppression and being outside the system. But I only know this in looking back, at the time these things were hell

 

[tree]

A Guide to Rational Living

Spoiler

Ten non-rational beliefs which can affect a person's happiness in life.

1. I must have love or approval from all the significant people in my life.

2. I absolutely must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving or the idea that I must be competent or talented in some important area.

3. Other people absolutely must not act obnoxiously and unfairly, and when they do, I should blame and damn them, and see them as bad, wicked, or rotten individuals.

4. I have to see things as being awful, terrible, and catastrophic when I am seriously frustrated or treated unfairly.

5. I must be miserable when I have pressures and difficult experiences; and I have little ability to control, and cannot change, my disturbed feelings.

6. If something is deemed dangerous or fearsome, I must obsess about it and frantically try to escape from it before it happens.

7. I can easily avoid facing challenges and responsibilities and still lead a highly fulfilling existence.

8. My past remains all-important and because something once strongly influenced my life, it has to keep determining my feelings and behavior today.

9. People and things absolutely must be better than they are and it is awful and horrible if I cannot change life’s grim facts to suit me.

10. I can achieve maximum happiness by inertia and inaction or by passively enjoying myself

 

[Jumpback]

The thing is that I don’t care what gay men do or don’t do, I just want no part of any gay things, except to be nice to an oppressed minority, because I just am not gay

But I have never been able to escape from this issue. Like I was assigned gay roommates, guys in my frat pledge class which I was quickly kicked out of for being weird, were gay, but they weren’t kicked out, I was. My first girlfriends friend was aggressive, then there was sexual assault. I was assigned gay, gay advocate university counselor, then gay advocate psych at university to deal with sexual assault. Two roommates were closeted gays, with one being in love with me and the other hoping to settle down with me, and on and on and on

And this is my adult life, which just seems to be a giant sacrifice to gay advocacy.

And it’s very hard to explain, because I still have nothing against gays, I just wanted for normal things to happen for a beat down ASD male

And I am very sympathetic to what gay men have to deal with, because I have had to deal with it too. Except when they get sexually assaulted and it’s ignored, they can find comfort somewhere, but with me, because I am straight, it’s all about things terrible about me and I have no advocacy group to turn to or chance at group support, I have accusations and blame.

But nothing normal can occur, for now over 25 years. Even I go to group therapy and black gang banger was molested as a kid and he openly says that this messed up his head and led to very s fewer up things and he has no idea if he is attracted to men or women, and he gets shut down and isn’t allowed to speak for his being controversial. All the males at one point had been sexually assaulted, both me and one other straight guy by gay men, and others were molested as kids and have developed heroin addictions and meth addictions as a result. But we keep our mouths shut while women go on and on about how terrible men are

I mean, I just wanted a normal life with a nice wife and family and a real chance at pursuing my hopes and dreams and actual hel for ASD issues and things that surround it, but this issue is always there and it has never disappeared.

 

[Jumpback]

A Guide to Rational Living

Spoiler

Ten non-rational beliefs which can affect a person's happiness in life.

1. I must have love or approval from all the significant people in my life.

2. I absolutely must be thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving or the idea that I must be competent or talented in some important area.

3. Other people absolutely must not act obnoxiously and unfairly, and when they do, I should blame and damn them, and see them as bad, wicked, or rotten individuals.

4. I have to see things as being awful, terrible, and catastrophic when I am seriously frustrated or treated unfairly.

5. I must be miserable when I have pressures and difficult experiences; and I have little ability to control, and cannot change, my disturbed feelings.

6. If something is deemed dangerous or fearsome, I must obsess about it and frantically try to escape from it before it happens.

7. I can easily avoid facing challenges and responsibilities and still lead a highly fulfilling existence.

8. My past remains all-important and because something once strongly influenced my life, it has to keep determining my feelings and behavior today.

9. People and things absolutely must be better than they are and it is awful and horrible if I cannot change life’s grim facts to suit me.

10. I can achieve maximum happiness by inertia and inaction or by passively enjoying myself

This is a really good link. I know that I am being a dumbass and throwing bad after bad and being stuck in the past

I just am having a hard time letting go and moving on

But I don’t blame myself so much, because mammals organize themselves into groups like monkeys have troops and gazelles have herds and wolves have packs and so on. But I have had nothing, like, again, if gay men get sexually assaulted by other gay men, they have endless real world and online groups were they can gain group support and have their realities validated. But my realities are black and Jewish gay couple sexually assaulted, then both roommates felt that they were “made gay,” the first by childhood sexual assault and the second by developing schizophrenia, and both roommates are also minority immigrants

Like one just can’t go around accusing blacks and Jews and Hispanics and polish immigrants of misbehaving, and even one guy was partially disabled at guy of wrongdoings, but these are my realities.

Like I know I am being an idiot, but it’s also a politically more complicated issue than any other, and there is really no other issue where the victim might be so stood up against, because things they say sound like horrific hate against oppressed minorities

I just have no idea, guy dragging leg along in the winter and I let him into my apartment, guy says he was raped as a child in nicaragua and drove as far away from his family as he could because they would not address 8 year old cousin raping him, and I feel sympathy. It has nothing to do with repressed or hate or disorder or delusional or being secretly up to something anything’s, because it just doesn’t

So I feel wronged with no where to turn.

I know that I am being an absolute idiot staying stuck on this issue, but it also is just not normal and my realities and wrongs committed against me, actually get blamed on me. Do I get mad and stand up to wrongs or do I forget all of it?

Like woman sees guy dragging his leg along in the winter because he is crippled and she lets him into her apartment and then he corners her and grabs her, isn’t this a sexual assault? But, see, if I try to explain this, I also not only have suspicious ideas about black and Jewish and Hispanic gays, but now I am evening accusing crippled gays of doing wrong. But the thing is that these things actually happened.

I just have no idea

 

[tree]

Stop playing "Yes, but."

 

[Rectify]

I just am having a hard time letting go and moving on

You seem to be and I really hope you can find a little thread to hold on to (either on your own or with help) and start to pull yourself through it @Jumpback

May I suggest avoiding group therapy? At least until you're back on your feet. I was like this, and I think you're the same, when you very mired in your trauma you are delicate and easily upset/drawn in to the things you hear and see around you. Better to avoid. One on one might be better. Also, please know that in order to move on through your trauma you don't have to 'go over it' and 'explore' it with a therapist. Some people might, but you don't HAVE to.

 

[Rectify]

A Guide to Rational Living
Ten non-rational beliefs which can affect a person's happiness in life...

I really liked this summary of sensible thinking so much. Glad you posted it. I reorganised the way it was written (e.g. made number one read like this: You don’t need love and approval from everyone (or even every significant person) in your life all the time) and have printed out for copies for me and significant others.

Unfortunately my library doesn't have a copy of the book but they might be able to get it in.

 

[Au Naturel]

This is a really good link. I know that I am being a dumbass and throwing bad after bad and being stuck in the past

I just am having a hard time letting go and moving on...

Do I get mad and stand up to wrongs or do I forget all of it?

It isn't the assault that is your problem. It is that you have embraced it and made it a part of you. Now you can no longer let it go than you can cut off a finger. But you still need to. And no amount of therapy will help. You have to decide on your own.

The alternate course of not letting an event over which you had no control keep control of you is the more satisfying over the long run. I've been assaulted. Multiple times when I was a lot younger than you. Molested too. Wish that hadn't happened. But they were bad people. Bad people are defined by doing bad things. If a bad person does a bad thing to me it does not matter what I was doing at the time or how I got into the mess. They are at fault. I have an absolute right to be secure in my person regardless of how vulnerable - or enticing - I may look.

Bullies have a sixth sense about seeking out victims. Actually, psychopaths and sociopaths have a perfectly brilliant skill at it. And it is almost like Aspies emit "bully me" pheromones. All honest to goodness rapists are bullies. They get their jollies by dominating you against your will. How could any normal person maintain arousal through the violence of the assault? It takes a bully to enjoy the taking of an involuntary person. You got on some psychopath's radar and didn't have the social savvy to pick up on it. Same mistake a lot of NT women make. There's no point in beating yourself up over it.

And that IS who you are beating up. By not moving on right away you managed to build up an obsession over it.

There is no forgetting. I have no clue how you found a therapy group that was so hostile but not leaving it instantly makes me wonder if you want to feel permanently victimized.

Unless you plan to file charges or you are going to go and beat the crap out of the perp, the only choice is to move on. I was a fool and this guy was a sexual bully. End of the discussion. There is a lot to be said about not talking endlessly about bad events and forcibly putting it behind you.

 

[Jumpback]

It isn't the assault that is your problem. It is that you have embraced it and made it a part of you. Now you can no longer let it go than you can cut off a finger. But you still need to. And no amount of therapy will help. You have to decide on your own.

The issue isn’t really sexual assault or manipulation issues, it’s about how obvious things were found to my fault or evidence of things about me or terrible about me

Like first sexual assault, many people witnessed girlfriends friend not leaving me alone, I actually only met her because of his aggressiveness and me proclaiming I am not gay, I got to know his female friend.

Then I put up with things because he was oppressed black gay male, and honestly I seemed to have to because my girlfriend did not seem to grasp how uncomfortable this made me and feel. And she relied on him for socialization because he is raving extrovert and she was an introvert

But then sexual assault by him and his boyfriend occurred but they are a gay couple and my social group was very gay and pro-gay, so they see things through their beliefs, then I get assigned gay, gay advocate univerity counselor, then I run into female psych I was assigned in a gay bar bathroom because her gay friends pushed her in there

So I just see obvious crimes and am coming from being absolutely clueless, but I seem to be caught up in very complicated things which I did not understand due to minority rights and advocacy and so on

Like I just want crime to at least be addressed and receive help for other issues, but others are caught up hate and oppression and danger to minority issues and other things or something

Then I want to to do something pretty autistic and set up complex option set ups on futures to take advantage of short term plummets of the market (like I might have gotten rich off of virus if I had a chance to try), but then roommate thinks he was made gay and weird things, so I am homeless and girlfriend rescues me.

But then I if I try to explain about roommate feeling that developing a psychotic illness had made him gay and he maneuvered me into situation, which resulted in me being homeless, and it sounds very suspicious.

So I try to explain things to girlfriend, but her friends are gay couple she was best man at her wedding and person she talks to most is very motivated liberal, even my sister is a transgender rights advocate who finds me suspicious. So I was homeless and make a mess because I have no workplace and both her grandfathers who were millionaires die and her family wants me gone because I am weird homeless guy who makes up delusional sounding stories that sound like I hate gays and keep making a mess because I have no workplace and am cut off from normal help like for adhd or ASD due to assumptions about me

And I can’t get normal help for anything, ever. I fight and fight for years to just be given an adhd test because I very obviously have adhd, but psychs see sexual assault trauma or repressed things or hate or more strange things which might be disorders because I go on about gays doing wrong

So all my future plans and last chance at having a wife with children are gone, all over exactly the same issue that screws everything else up

Like, in college, I just needed for obvious crime to actually be addressed, so things could move on to what I actually needed help help with is ASD issues and things surrounding it, but others saw repressed homosexuality and various other things and my brain being malformed as the actual problem, not just a crime is a crime

So I believe that the issue is with me and seek support other places including guy who was raped as a child, but then he felt like this made him gay and I had to fight him off as roommates and he banned women I liked

But if I try to explain anything, now it’s like there is a pattern, which even more proves my repressed homosexuality and maybe hate is driving me to not accept it, or I just am filled with hate or have various disorders or maybe sexual assault trauma instead of obvious things like adhd and ASD, or maybe I am secretly seeking things out or something.

It’s stupid and it’s political without me wanting to be political

Like I have no repressed desires, I don’t hate gays, I don’t have secret things driving me, I was not up to things and a danger to my ex-girlfriend, all that happens is others draw ridiculous conclusions

Like things are not complicated in my head, others, who happened to be gay, the majority of them also being racial minorities or immigrants and even a crippled guy committed crimes, just like men commit crimes against women. And I look things up and sexual assaults of gays by others gays is a huge unaddressed problem, which I am sympathetic too

But I know nothing walking in to things, I just am told that like black and immigrant gays are oppressed minorities who apparently pose no threat, so I believe this. Then I believe what gay advocate counselors and psychs tell me about the issue being with me, because I am clueless and they are the authority figures

I mean it’s ridiculously simple, men sexually assault and maneuver others, women getting sexually assaulted don’t get accused of having repressed heterosexuality or that they hate men or the real explanation is patterns of their behavior looking for things or that the whole explanation is many disorders and their brains are malformed, which don’t actually include real issues like adhd and ASD.

There is no forgetting. I have no clue how you found a therapy group that was so hostile but not leaving it instantly makes me wonder if you want to feel permanently victimized.

Unless you plan to file charges or you are going to go and beat the crap out of the perp, the only choice is to move on. I was a fool and this guy was a sexual bully. End of the discussion. There is a lot to be said about not talking endlessly about bad events and forcibly putting it behind you.

My group is actually really good, it’s just the political sensitivity of this issue

They keep talking about trauma and anger and black gang banger tried to talk about childhood molestation causing sexual orientation confusion and leader became uncomfortable and nicely asked him to not talk about this. But transgender goes on and on about non acceptance and women go on and on about rape issues and about how men are terrible and so on

I get scared that I am going to get accused of things if I open up, so I kept waiting in hall while they were talking about trauma. I finally just worked up the courage to try to mention things some and people were nice. But I feel like if I tried to talk about things right away peoole would have seen things terrible about me. It’s just that I have been in there over two months and people know that I am not filled with hate and am dangerous to minorities or whatever else because they have gotten to know me

 

[Jumpback]

The thing is things aren’t really about sexual assault or manipulation issues trauma, it’s about social beliefs and ASD

Like almost all I did as a kid was do things by myself, then I did not grasp anything about anything even in rural school which resulted in bullying and harassment which resulted in a nervous breakdown when I was about 15

But then I am thrust into ultra complicated and ultra political gay things because I just was

Like say one is clueless in Nazi germany and people go on and on and on about how Jews are evil, ASD person is likely to initially believe Jews are just like vermin because that’s what they are told. But then they try to look things up and realize that this is not true and then the Nazis go after them for questioning and not complying

Like I just don’t know how to explain without upsetting everyone

Like gays are men, so they commit crimes, and gays are an oppressed minority, so they commit more crimes than others as virtually all minorities do. This does not mean that I hate gays and so on

Others grasp very complicated social messages and seem to know what to do, but I just did not. Authority figures say oppressed minority gays pose no threat and believe it, but then things happen that are opposed to this and I am blunt, because if I am not blunt I feel like I am lying, but then this upsets others

I mean it’s not in reality actually complicated at all, but it is ultra complicated because people are involved

 

[tree]

Where are the statistics that prove homosexual men commit more crimes than others?

Not anecdotal observations of crotch grabbing in a gay bar.
Statistics.

 

[Jumpback]

Where are the statistics that prove homosexual men commit more crimes than others?

Not anecdotal observations of crotch grabbing in a gay bar.
Statistics.

But the issue is about power and control. Like almost everyone who devotes their lives to studying what gays do or do not do are previously beat down gay kids who are also smart and get PhDs and devote their lives to both PhD research and gay advocacy. Almost every research thing one can find is written by a gay man who also has a side avocation of speaking out against hatred of gay men. This results in absurdly bad research with no checks and balances, because the objective shared by everyone is to prove how great gays are

And the issues within gay communities involving gay sexual assault of other gays is massive and extreme which also tends to involve lots of drugs and even things like “twinks” who look underage or are underage and on and on and on, but these PhDs won’t look into such things because they are not interested in figuring out reality, they are interested in figuring out how to make the world safe for gay kids of the future who don’t have to get bullied and harrasssed for being gay, like they were. The research gets so bad that ultra obvious things like self-selection bias which would not be allowed in an introduction to psych research get entirely ignored, because the entire checks and balances system is really motivated to ignore scientific vigor to make gays seem as great as possible, because all the people who might check also have the same mission and are driven to help their people

I could give 10 links proving things, because these things have dominated my adult life, so I have looked them up. Give me the word that it’s okay to provide links and I will

 

[tree]

That doesn't answer my question.

You are responding with "yes, but" again.

No statistics.
No proof of your statement that homosexuals commit more crimes.

Just more "yes, but...."

===
Oh, now you have edited your reply to include an offer to provide 10 links
that prove "things." Crimes? National record of arrests and convictions?

 

[Jumpback]

That doesn't answer my question.

You are responding with "yes, but" again.

No statistics.
No proof of your statement that homosexuals commit more crimes.

Just more "yes, but...."

===
Oh, now you have edited your reply to include an offer to provide 10 links
that prove "things." Crimes? Convictions?

Here is about Marc Collins-Rector who provided underage boys to A-list gay Hollywood parties, and got convicted of transporting underage boys across state lines for sexual purposes, but then he fled to Europe and got convicted there of underage boy porn. He had links to multiple Hollywood gay men who have been found guilty or have been accused multiple times of raping underage boys or taking pictures of them, including Kevin Spacey and Brian Singer (director of x-men and Freddy Mercury movie)

Marc Collins-Rector - Wikipedia

Hollywood, on it’s own is a giant issue. Multiple issues with gay agents selling pictures of boys on eBay and sexually assaulting straight men. Multiple childhood actors being molested as kids, which might not be gay, but I look things up and the guys they are accusing seem to be gay. Then like, right now, Ellen Degeneres show having three sexually assaulting employees, two of them targeting mostly straight men, the worst of which has a long history of sexually assaulting straight men

Like the whole thing that started the #meetoo movement was Kevin Spacey sexually assaulting underage gay boy when drinking, but he did not descriminare, he sexually assaulted lots of straight men, including former MTV host

Biggest online porn ring busted at the time was run by former gay youth leader and gay guy busted for trying to rape a male infant and was entirely devoted to boys. Gay sex drug orgies have been repeatedly busted on Vatican grounds. Large percentage of catholic priests are gsy, and there are things from gay prostitute who is also catholic about them breaking their vows, numerous things about gay priests and gay priest couples and gay priest drug addicts and even gay seminary students tormenting straight seminary students. Gay priest stealing a million dollars from the church to pay for gay prostitutes and drugs

The list never ends. It is so beyond obvious

But, again, I do not see the issue as being with gays, I see the issue as being non acceptance of a minority can lead to said minority just not buying into social rules and this beat down minority developing sort of a Wild West attitude towards rules

Like I think that I am being impossibly understanding, but others see repressed things and hate and me being up to things and my brain being malformed and on and on

I am not the one who is confused, it is others who seem to keep ganging up on me for being inconvenient to their incorrect and irrational beliefs

 

[tree]

"I am not the one who is confused,
it is others who seem to keep ganging up on me for being inconvenient to their incorrect and irrational beliefs"

Yes, you've asserted that repeatedly.

How is that you continue to find yourself in what you see as
confrontational situations with people, endlessly defending yourself?

Since, as you say, you aren't confused and you are secure in your beliefs.
Why not just drop the subject?

What you're doing, reviewing your past and always pointing out that
you bear no ill will to homosexual people, doesn't appear to be doing
you much good, since you keep talking about and reliving your negative
experiences.

 

[Jumpback]

It’s really about last roommate and the ex-girlfriend and others including psychs and people around roommate who was “made gay” and girlfriend who left me due to assumptions about me from being homeless from that rooommate and previous gay things

See, I have no ill will towards individuals, the issue seems to me to me to be that since gay advocates have complete control, others around me who do not know me assume that I just am up to things or hate gays and join together to stamp out my delusional hate and punish me to make the world safe for gays against my hate and whatever disorders and delusions and secret desires others assume that I have

Like, I am scared of society in general.

Like I just do know how to explain, I am ASD so I believe things people say, but then I am ASD and I want to look things up, but both of things seem to be very upsetting to other people

Like I just believed dominant social messages and then I looked things up and I explain things bluntly, because if I don’t Infeel like I am lying, but others are somewhere in the middle or something.

I really do not know what I am doing. I just feel like I want to trade options on S and p 500 furutes to get rich off of plummets as with the virus and I would share this wealth with either previous roommate or with ex-girlfriend and everything would be fine

But then they both had endless people in their ears, and psychs agreed, about how accusing gay men of wrongdoing is somehow delusional hate or just unlikely or I am just deranged or whatever else, so I had no chance to get rich off of virus outbreak

Like I just do not know

In my head, woman gets sexually assaulted or maneuvered into ridiculous thing which hurts her, but is like 10 times easier than my realities, because even though people might accuse her of “dressing sexy”, no one is going to accuse her of having repressed desires to have sex with straight men and her dangerous, delusional ideas that straight men might do something wrong, and stand together against this delusional hate of straight men and try to find what is really wrong with her brain which is causing woman to accuse oppressed, victimized straight men of wrongdoing

 

[Jumpback]

Things are hard, I am not actually so upset that gay couoke sexually assaulted me in college, I am upset that my entire community and experts found me to be have repressed things and things wrong with my brain and cheating with gay couple and so on for being a victim

Like I grasp that a gay couple might sexually assault a straight man who was previously into bodybuilding and I grasp that two men might sexually assault a woman. What is hard to grasp is how any of this proves repressed homosexual desires or hate or that the entire explanation is that my brain is malformed or that Inwas secretly cheating with gay couoke, and why this should cut me off from normal things like adhd help or ASD help, because I am a male and wrongdoers are gay

See, it has not that much to do with gays and so on, it has to do with rational realities being completely misrepresented, then the victim getting accused because super dominant power beat down inconvenient minority

It has only to do with power and controls of what people are forced to comply with and prejudices of authority figures of my group and so on. My understanding could not be more opposite of authority figure psychs and my social group and uninterested observers assumed the issue was