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Love is alien to me. How do I tell if I’m getting taken advantage of instead of finding a partner?

just some ideas, not totally sure what would fit.

1. It doesn’t make sense to me that you would want me to send photos this early into our contact. We have just met and this feels inappropriate. I don’t think I would like to continue our communication.

2. The things you are saying are actually making me feel uncomfortable. I don’t feel that we are close enough yet to be speaking like this. I would like to have some space and stop our communication.
 
4. The way I get to know people takes much more time and more than a few days of conversation. This is not working for me and I don’t think we should move forward with this communication/friendship/relationship (whatever you would call it).
 
mysterionz said:
he contacted me again. Should I ghost him if he’s gonna get creepy?
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Please do! Remember him, though, as a predator, and should any man act the least like him run like the wind from such man-boys. You owe such people no apologies.
 
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Gerald Wilgus said:
Please do! Remember him, though, as a predator, and should any man act the least like him run like the wind from such man-boys.
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Mostly agreed, But ghosting doesn’t always work… Especially if he has her number. If he is creepin, then ghosting lacks clarity and boundaries need to be set.
 
And also, if you are feeling lonely or if it is enticing to talk to him (and you really don’t want to, which I’m gathering you don’t), you could try distracting yourself, here or with some other interesting thing so that you are not tempted. I understand that attention feels good, so it would be tempting to talk to someone who is seeking your attention.

But he sounds like a creep. Creeps aren’t cool.
 
Block him. He's a pervert. He has some weird fixation, and he only wants one thing. As a woman who's been there, stay away from him. It's not good attention, that you are receiving. He's not a good man either. Keep away from him. Trust me.
 
Gerald Wilgus said:
Please do! Remember him, though, as a predator, and should any man act the least like him run like the wind from such man-boys. You owe such people no apologies.
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Good point, about apologies. As a precaution, mysterionz, be prepared for him to blame/guilt you. That doesn't mean he will, but it's possible he will try to make you look rude or unreasonable for not giving him what he wants. This can feel bad, but it doesn't mean you're in the wrong.

Also, you don't have to make any big show out of setting a boundary. It can be as simple as, "This is gross. Bye." He likely knows how he's making you feel even though he won't admit to wrongdoing. It's not your job to persuade him, just enforce the boundary. The sooner he gets bored, the sooner he will go away.

I also agree with Yeshuasdaughter. Blocking him isn't wrong if he's saying inappropriate things right away. If people aren't going to listen to you, there's no point in trying to find the right words.
 
Well, does he make you feel good, or does he make you feel bad? That’s the only real question. If the latter, flee on your donkey, as Anne Sexton once wrote.
 
The thing that sticks out a little is that he asked for those pictures. It's just a strange thing to ask for, that's the first thing he was thinking about when he met you, getting those kind of pics? If I were you I would be very sceptical now.
 
Yes. We can talk ONLY if you don’t request tasteful pics of me. (Tasteful as in borderline NSFW territory)
—me
 
mysterionz said:
Yes. We can talk ONLY if you don’t request tasteful pics of me. (Tasteful as in borderline NSFW territory)
—me
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Please do not stay involved with that guy. While as a teen and young adult who was socially and sexually isolated, i was still a good observer. I have seen too many manipulative guys charm a girl/woman into bed then abandon them (two abandoned because of pregnancy.)

I was envious of the ease they had yet disgusted at the same time.
 
This person you matched with, it's important to communicate with him that you're really slow and unsure about naked or sexual pictures. It is human to crave it and he really likes you a lot. Every day is a bit much even for NT, but it shows interest on his end. It is okay to meet him in a public place. I mean, if you don't want to meet people, you shouldn't use the apps, or you should state specifically in your profile that you only want to chat online beforehand.
There are too many people who use apps to play games. So, it's best you try to state what you think your intentions are outright. The fact that you matched on a dating app gives this potential other quality reasons to show sexually related interest in you. You need to communicate properly that you operate differently than that and that if he's not okay with that, then you two are no longer a match.
Because of your age and concerns, I would recommend you ask your potential partner if he/she is okay meeting your parents and/or if his/her parents and your parents are okay meeting each other. This gives you a safer barrier to work with, but still gives you possibilities to date someone within a reasonable space without feeling overly held back if you have the blessings of parents involved.

Generally, dating is between two people who are more independent. But your age and the way you express indicate either you should not be trying to date at this time, or date with this understanding that not many people are going to be pleased about your desire to get parents involved. Stick with people around your age as this kind of practice is still okay enough at your age for now.
 
paloftoon said:
This person you matched with, it's important to communicate with him that you're really slow and unsure about naked or sexual pictures. It is human to crave it and he really likes you a lot. Every day is a bit much even for NT, but it shows interest on his end. It is okay to meet him in a public place. I mean, if you don't want to meet people, you shouldn't use the apps, or you should state specifically in your profile that you only want to chat online beforehand.
There are too many people who use apps to play games. So, it's best you try to state what you think your intentions are outright. The fact that you matched on a dating app gives this potential other quality reasons to show sexually related interest in you. You need to communicate properly that you operate differently than that and that if he's not okay with that, then you two are no longer a match.
Because of your age and concerns, I would recommend you ask your potential partner if he/she is okay meeting your parents and/or if his/her parents and your parents are okay meeting each other. This gives you a safer barrier to work with, but still gives you possibilities to date someone within a reasonable space without feeling overly held back if you have the blessings of parents involved.

Generally, dating is between two people who are more independent. But your age and the way you express indicate either you should not be trying to date at this time, or date with this understanding that not many people are going to be pleased about your desire to get parents involved. Stick with people around your age as this kind of practice is still okay enough at your age for now.
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I have more interest in platonic love/friendships than romance
 
mysterionz said:
I have more interest in platonic love/friendships than romance
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Bumble is typically used as a dating app. It does have other modes though but you still need to make sure your intentions are clear when using whatever app. Have you chosen the BFF mode when using Bumble (I think BFF stands for "best friend forever").
 
paloftoon said:
Bumble is typically used as a dating app. It does have other modes though but you still need to make sure your intentions are clear when using whatever app. Have you chosen the BFF mode when using Bumble (I think BFF stands for "best friend forever").
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Nope I didn’t and I’m not returning to bumble
 
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