My final thread.

[Gig3]

I'm new and so hesitant to comment. However, I can relate to what you're feeling- I think. People on the spectrum need to stick together imo. I hope that you reconsider b/c I'm sure that your input would be helpful and welcome. Otherwise, good luck with everything.

 

[Origins]

It has been great communicating to you guys. Yet, I feel that I haven’t connected much to the people in this forum, perhaps because we’ve got different interests and needs. There are more posts on aspie-nt relationships which has more replies and a huge following than threads on parenting, and I think that isolates me further even with my fellow aspies. There’s an ocean of difference between you and me. Or maybe Im not good at writing about my emotions in full detail, which a lot of the members are proficient at. I always worry that there are some nuances in language that I am not aware of, and some members might feel slighted in some way or another. I use English as second language, and maybe my writing is not as good as native speakers.

I thought about saying goodbye this morning, and it is just timely that Marcus wrote his final thread. I found another forum that will fit better for my needs.

Thanks, I’m really grateful. I might occasionally check this site to view some resources but this will be my last post.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Will the last person to leave please turn off the lights.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

It can sometimes be, when I came here three years go I had few expectations. Was looking for information on autism. It didn't occur to me that I would stay and that the people I connected with would become friends.
Members helped a great deal and had a personal understanding of it, and it wasn't a clinical DSM diagnosis solely. Found them well-informed and interesting and kind. More so than other sites I had been a member of. Think I stayed, because people helped me and as a result I felt I should do the same.

Well informed,interesting and kind fits you quite well.
So I'm pleased you stuck around as Ive read a lot of your posts,past and present and they are nearly always worthwhile.
Alarm clocks and revenge being memorable but also some great posts about relationships - which I personally found to be helpful.

 

[Progster]

I don't understand where the issue is here, I don't know you @Marcus, but I see that you have many threads, including 7 featured ones, all with a very good reception and numerous posts, unless there has been something going on behind the scenes that I don't know about.

As for the forum being like Facebook, well, there are some threads for trivia and some for more serious issues like on Facebook, but unlike Facebook, it's closely moderated and you don't get a lot of the snidey underhand bitchiness that goes on on FB, or at least, I haven't experienced any. People often post vey personal threads and about experiences they would never post on FB because on FB they would feel vulnerable and exposed, and for this the forum is extremely valuable to many people.

As for connectedness, well yes, there does seem to be a little core of members (I'm not one of them) who have been around for longer, seem to get on well and seem to me to have connected, they have a 'history' together that new members don't share and that can make them feel a bit isolated (I have felt this on occasion). They also PM each other a lot, and all of this is going on behind the scenes. I think that as @Mia says, it takes a while to really get to know people or to connect with people - it's like a common room with members coming and going all the time but with a core of members who are always in there, and if one of the core members leaves, everyone will notice, but if a fringe member leaves, nobody pays much attention. There are so many people coming and going and most of the new members don't stick around - most don't even get beyond the introduction post.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

As for connectedness, well yes, there does seem to be a little core of members (I'm not one of them)

Perhaps our collective problem is we're all imagining we're not one of them

 

[SusanLR]

Sorry for whatever went wrong @Marcus .
When I joined I was newly diagnosed and looking to find
out more about autism/aspergers.
Wanted to see what we all had in common and hopefully
be able to share some experiences that might help someone else.

It is certainly true there are posts on many different topics.
But, I found it to be a place we can open up to others without feeling ashamed or like we're being judged.
Personally I look forward to reading the posts and making replys daily now.
It's not like most social media where people just post
what they're doing or photos and videos.

My gut feeling when reading your post was you find it
full of depressing stories or topics that you have no interest in.
There are topics I can't relate to either as I've never
experienced a lot of them, but, I still read and care for
those who are experiencing them.
As far as depressing, well, that's why a lot of us come here. To vent, rant, or let out the things that are bothering us on ASD related items.
A lot of us don't have anyone to talk with in RL
so we can do that here.

I don't know what happened, but, you do I guess and I wish you all the best and hope you find what
you're looking for. Sorry to see you leave.

 

[Bella Pines]

I'm sure someone is thinking "why doesn't he just shut up and leave for good already if he feels this way?"

No one is thinking this. Quite the reverse. As @Gig3 said, it's better if we stick together. We have enough problems with life as it is, no one is going to turn on anyone here. We'd be happier if you stayed, but if you need to have a break then you can always come back. There's no 'core group', there are no cliques, you can PM anyone at any time and join whatever conversation interests you. The expectations of making friends and being part of a group are a little on the high side, I mean hey, this IS an aspergers and autism forum! But offline, I fight of depression every day, I collapse and scream, I pull skin off my body, I over analyse everything, but at the very least I know I'm not the only one and I'm not alone in the world.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

The expectations of making friends and being part of a group are a little on the high side, I mean hey, this IS an aspergers and autism forum!

Reminds me of Bill Hicks when he did his bit about getting a meeting together for
The 'people who hate people party'

Will you turn up?
Well... will you be there? Then heck no.

Now when you're over analysing 'everything' I'm convinced there's something ypu missed...

 

[Starfire]

When I started on this forum I had very high hopes, if I had known then about the downward spiral my opinion would take on this place, I never would have made an account at all.

I used to love this forum, I truly did. It was something brand new for me and a realm of infinite possibilities. Man, was I ignorant.

It's no secret that I have taken a few hiatuses from this place, but every time I come back that depressed feeling just gets worse. I now think of this site as I do social media, which to me is a waste of time. I don't belong on any of those platforms and I certainly no longer feel like I belong on here.

It depresses me to know that my efforts at trying to reach out to people and all those threads and blogs I posted have really meant nothing. I should have expected that though.

I don't even know why I'm bothering to write a thread about this, I guarantee you most people won't bother to read it, and if they do they'll think "oh, he's just in another mood again."

I'm sure someone is thinking "why doesn't he just shut up and leave for good already if he feels this way?"

Well, I'm on my way out the door. I cannot handle the meltdowns and the assault of depression anymore that this place causes me.

I read your post and it looks like lots of other people took the the time too! Perhaps the forum 'shine' has left for you because it's not "something brand new" anymore. You may also have had unrealistic expectations about what an Internet forum can provide.

I'm sorry you no longer feel you belong here, but everyone on the spectrum does, and those not on the spectrum are always welcomed too. You are clearly unhappy here, so I hope you find somewhere more suitable for your needs, but if the shine wears off there too after the initial novelty wears thin, please come back and try again. I've tried a few of the alternatives and in my opinion, this is the best of the lot. Good luck in the future.

 

[Mary 1]

Hi
I am new to this website and I am NT. I have to say that I found it extremely helpful and people take time to read my posts and take time to reply to me. I appreciate that. I am so sorry you are unhappy and want to leave. I hope you find another way to share your thoughts. Sharing is very good and healthy thing to do. Best of luck!

 

[Sportster]

When I started on this forum I had very high hopes, if I had known then about the downward spiral my opinion would take on this place, I never would have made an account at all.

I used to love this forum, I truly did. It was something brand new for me and a realm of infinite possibilities. Man, was I ignorant.

It's no secret that I have taken a few hiatuses from this place, but every time I come back that depressed feeling just gets worse. I now think of this site as I do social media, which to me is a waste of time. I don't belong on any of those platforms and I certainly no longer feel like I belong on here.

It depresses me to know that my efforts at trying to reach out to people and all those threads and blogs I posted have really meant nothing. I should have expected that though.

I don't even know why I'm bothering to write a thread about this, I guarantee you most people won't bother to read it, and if they do they'll think "oh, he's just in another mood again."

I'm sure someone is thinking "why doesn't he just shut up and leave for good already if he feels this way?"

Well, I'm on my way out the door. I cannot handle the meltdowns and the assault of depression anymore that this place causes me.

It's unfortunate that you feel this way, as Aspies Central is more than social media. We're a little community here; and in some ways like a little family. We rejoice with one another and grieve with one another. We share our problems and give advice. We enjoy each other's company and some we cannot stand. And all this takes place in a nonjudgmental world where we can feel safe.

Take a break if you feel it will help, but reconsider just leaving. Many of us have taken a sabbatical, but have found our way home because this is the place that makes the best sense after trying to negotiate the NT world.

 

[the_tortoise]

I am sad to see you go. I hope you change your mind,.... but if you don't, I wish you all the best wherever life takes you.

 

[Gayspie]

I understand exactly how you feel.

When i first came to this forum, i was expecting to meet a lot of other diagnosed aspies who are in a similar situation to me - young, no friends, weird, etc. Instead i met all sorts of aspies

some of these aspies were both self diagnosed, childhood diagnosed and diagnosed later in life.
Some of these aspies also had other disabilities like deafness and tourettes.
Some of these aspies were found to be happily married and living out on their own in their 30's.
Some of these aspies were really religious and would not even let anyone challenge their beliefs.
Some of these aspies were mean girls or rude boys to me and made me wanna cry.

However life as an aspie is tough and i can be a pain in the bottom sometimes so yeah.

 

[Juliettaa]

I understand exactly how you feel.

When i first came to this forum, i was expecting to meet a lot of other diagnosed aspies who are in a similar situation to me - young, no friends, weird, etc. Instead i met all sorts of aspies

some of these aspies were both self diagnosed, childhood diagnosed and diagnosed later in life.
Some of these aspies also had other disabilities like deafness and tourettes.
Some of these aspies were found to be happily married and living out on their own in their 30's.
Some of these aspies were really religious and would not even let anyone challenge their beliefs.
Some of these aspies were mean girls or rude boys to me and made me wanna cry.

However life as an aspie is tough and i can be a pain in the bottom sometimes so yeah.

Blimey, either I'm totally thick or I really am on another planet!!

I haven't seen any 'mean girls' or 'rude boys' on this forum at all. What I do see are people who aren't afraid to say it like it is. And that my friends is so bloody refreshing as I've spent half a century trying to fit into an NT world of people not saying what they mean leaving me in a constant state of confusion, angst and questioning myself and my own sanity.

@Marcus, you're probably long gone by now so my good wishes for your departure will be overdue. But just in case you're lurking, a little word of advice ............... you cannot have your life fulfilled by an internet forum. It's just not possible. IMHO, you put far too much emphasis on a forum where the members have enough baggage of their own that they're trying to work through. Whilst people have replied to your threads and invested time and energy in doing so, that's all they can give you, time on a forum to post a reply. That's not enough to allow you to live a long, happy, fulfilled life.

What I'm trying to say is, in a nutshell, this place ain't real life. It's the internet.

ps - I'm truly not a mean girl. I'm just blunt. So apologies if this offends either Marcus or the member I've quoted. No offence intended.

Oh, and @The Great Gayspie - your expectation that everyone would be like you. We're people on here, humans of all shapes, sizes, gender, race etc. Some of us might be called robots by NT's, but amongst ourselves surely there should be a high level of acceptance for our diversity, not an expectation for us all to be the same.

 

[Tom]

Now I wonder. If we keep posting on this thread indefinately, does that keep your social media spirit trapped in stasis?

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Now I wonder. If we keep posting on this thread indefinately, does that keep your social media spirit trapped in stasis?

On a silent day with no wind,the low moan of a revenant,
Trapped by mildly positive good wishes.....

 

[Juliettaa]

On a silent day with no wind,the low moan of a revenant,
Trapped by mildly positive good wishes.....

Hmmm, on reading your post I wonder why the thought of a silent but deadly fart popped into my head?

Time for bed. My thoughts are getting weirder by the minute.

 

[Fridgemagnetman]

Hmmm, on reading your post I wonder why the thought of a silent but deadly fart popped into my head?

Time for bed. My thoughts are getting weirder by the minute.

Do rebellious revenants eat revels?

 

[Juliettaa]

Do rebellious revenants eat revels?

Only the ones with soft centres. Their teeth haven't always been put in properly so they have to leave the toffee ones.

Like my late aunt ............ the kindly funeral director put her false teeth in upsidedown - top set at bottom, bottom set at top. If the circumstances weren't so macabre, it would've been hilarious.