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My Reaction To Surprises.

Kelly said:
Dan Aykroyd
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Ah, right, from Ghostbusters and the Bleus brothers. Thanks Kelly. Here's what IMDb says about him:

As a child in the early 1960s, he was diagnosed with Tourette's syndrome and Asperger syndrome. The symptoms had mostly subsided by the time he was 14.

Interesting. I have both of those syndromes, and those "symptoms" certainly haven't "subsided".
 
I didn't know aspies could get subsidence-some have an odd gait and may give the impression they are leaning, but subsidence!!:D
 
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Guys, can we please stay on topic? This thread seems to be getting sidetracked.
 
Got a surprise today:

The power went out for about 30 mins & came back on. Hardly too big a deal...Then, to my utter shock, THE INTERNET VANISHED! I was suddenly off line for a good 4 hours. AAAUUUGGGHH!!! Many of us Aspies spend a significant portion of our time online & when this happens, it's a real crisis. Although there were plenty of other things for me to do around the house, I was frozen for a while, staring at the dead screen. It was almost as though I'd opened my front door & instead of the street & the other houses, there was the dark matter of space dotted with stars!

Most people are inconvenienced when the internet evaporates; especially if they were in the middle of something important. For them, it qualifies as an unpleasant surprise. For me, it was a shock!
 
I don't react well to surprises. But it does depend on what the surprise is. Like today my friend called an hour before we were going to the mall and said she needed to pick me up at 2pm instead of 1pm. I would have been less upset if it had been arranged last night but I just said fine and hung up and then proceeded to cry and stomp my feet and smack my head with my hands. However, if its a present I don't mind. Its usually a good thing and I can pull off smiling and saying thank you. But I do go into a kind of controlled shock at first saying its fine then getting out of the situation I usually loose control. i do my best I don't hurt anyone but my self. One of the reasons my mom still has dial up internet as back up for the wireless is because I can't handle not being able to keep my routine. I start freaking out and rocking and crying and getting very very upset. But that is how I react to surprises.
 
I can relate Soup & Arashi...if the net goes down then I turn into a screaming banshee, I hit things, I swear, I scream, all whilst trying to fix it and / or calling our provider up to complain. My biggest annoyance at the moment is the wifi signal we have is rubbish, if I take my tablet more then 6ft away from the router I can't use the net.

I was surprised yesterday, husband came home from picking the little one up from school and announced he wouldn't be going to aikido tomorrow night. My first reaction(mentally) you absolute sod, I won't get to sit and do whatever I want without interruptions (because he takes the little one with him) and it's part of my routine now, I managed to mutter an 'oh' between gritted teeth. Then it got worse, not only is he not going out to aikido I have to go out with him to a kids party. Totally random, one of Kyoko's friends little sisters is 4 tomorrow and her mum suddenly decided to have a little get together at the local play centre. So I have to endure 2 hours of awkwardness and try my best to do small talk. I know full well what will happen, I will feel like crap, it will be boring, the noise will be too much(dozens of kids screaming anyone) and I will get the 'she can't stand me' looks/vibe from the kids mum all the while she will be chattering away and fluttering her eyelashes at my husband...yay how fun :help:
 
My internet was down for a few hours in a storm not long ago, and I was very proud of myself for how well I coped actually. I'm not dependent on internet though - movies and television is my addiction - but I just kept thinking of how many teenagers would have imploded if that happened to them. I'm certainly not the typical teenager though, unsurprisingly.

Kelly, my mum hates socialising with the other mums as much as you do, and she normally copes by bringing a book along to do something interesting and productive instead of talking about renovations, expensive high schools, dresses and mean teachers - the only available topics of conversation. Have you ever tried something like reading to make it bearable?

Oh, and Arashi, I know exactly what you mean by good-spiritedly going along with a change and then deeply regretting it afterwards. I also hate last-minute changes, and when I don't get to watch a movie of my choice at home on Friday night as I have for years. Whenever someone is visiting at the agreed time of - for example - 5pm, does anyone else find it impossible to relax after 4:50, when they might come, and hate not knowing the exact time? I'm always pacing and sweating and jumping at every passing car sound.
 
Christian T said:
Kelly, my mum hates socialising with the other mums as much as you do, and she normally copes by bringing a book along to do something interesting and productive instead of talking about renovations, expensive high schools, dresses and mean teachers - the only available topics of conversation. Have you ever tried something like reading to make it bearable?
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I can't really get away with taking a book to read because we will all be sat at a table together, the rest of them chatting and I'm there with my head in a book, it will give them even more reason to think I'm an ignorant so and so(I often miss questions being asked etc because I can't keep up with the conversation so I probably come across as a bit dizzy or ignorant...or both). I'm gonna tell him I need to stay home I think, it's making me feel ill just thinking about going, he can just tell them all I'm not well.

Christian T said:
Whenever someone is visiting at the agreed time of - for example - 5pm, does anyone else find it impossible to relax after 4:50, when they might come, and hate not knowing the exact time? I'm always pacing and sweating and jumping at every passing car sound.
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Oh I know that feeling all too well! When I used to go to committee meetings and someone would offer me a lift I would be pacing and sweating and panicking that they would be far too late. The meetings started at 8pm, they are supposed to arrive at 7.45, by 7.50 I am literally shaking because I'm so on edge.

Even if it's someone I know well like the in-laws saying they will come at 3, I am ready and waiting by 2.30, by 2.50 I am on the edge again, by 3.15 I'm calling them asking where they are. If they don't answer or their phones are turned off then I start getting really angry, then I go through every possible scenario...they left late, traffic jam, they've been in a car crash, they had to stop for some reason all the while I'm up and down to the front window to check if they are coming around the corner. It's the same when I'm waiting for a delivery, I'm on edge all day and will be up to the window at the slightest sound.
 
I knew there must be someone else! Do you feel as stupid as I do after all that fretting once you think of all the leisure time you've wasted?
 
I am glad others do the same thing- it is a horrible feeling- firstly I hate being late- i would always turn up half an hour before- if waiting for anyone at home I am fine until, as kelly says, the last half hour-I have got blinds now instead of curtains so i can surreptitiously look out the window without attracting attention. Even one minute late and i am pacing- all sorts of thoughts-how dare they be late the bastards and thoughts much worse than that that would have to be censored and the thought police would surround the building!I have the same feelings when newly dating and she is late-the anticipation makes me shake and feel physically sick. Note for kelly(I used surrepticiously) i was not sure exactly what it meant and have not heard or used it in a long time but it popped into my head and voila!)
 
I actually don't get angry at people for lateness, partly because I myself am often late since everything I do always takes longer than I anticipated because I'm so clumsy and scatterbrained. However, I do certainly hate the time that passes after the set hour and minute until they arrive- sheer agony!
 
Christian T said:
I knew there must be someone else! Do you feel as stupid as I do after all that fretting once you think of all the leisure time you've wasted?
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Oh yes, afterwards you feel like such an idiot and I don't know about you but everytime I think right next time I'm just going to watch TV and not worry about the time...never happens.

rolo said:
I am glad others do the same thing- it is a horrible feeling- firstly I hate being late- i would always turn up half an hour before- if waiting for anyone at home I am fine until, as kelly says, the last half hour-I have got blinds now instead of curtains so i can surreptitiously look out the window without attracting attention. Even one minute late and i am pacing- all sorts of thoughts-how dare they be late the bastards and thoughts much worse than that that would have to be censored and the thought police would surround the building!I have the same feelings when newly dating and she is late-the anticipation makes me shake and feel physically sick. Note for kelly(I used surrepticiously) i was not sure exactly what it meant and have not heard or used it in a long time but it popped into my head and voila!)
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I like to be early too and I can get so upset if I think I'm going to be late for something, lol thought police, I'd be serving a life sentence for some of my thoughts when I get angry.

surrepticiously was very familiar to me but couldn't quite place it so I had to look it up, even smaller words like 'epitome' that I used in another thread I had to double check the meaning because I doubted myself.
 
I abhor surprises! Makes me very nervous. It's not that I do not appreciate a gift, but I hate it to be formatted in "Close your eyes...". One must often do this first before receiving the surprise/gift. I do not like that at all.
 
@ NeverEnder: that 'close your eyes' thing has a firing squad vibe to it. Makes me very uneasy. We have eyes for a reason & since I can see with them, I assume they're meant to remain open except while blinking or sleeping.
 
For anyone who says "close your eyes", I have discovered a revolutionary invention that I'm sure will benefit them: wrapping paper!

Although, to be fair to them, they are giving us presents, but I know that it's still unnerving for some.

What I hate the most is that trust exercise that requires you to just let yourself fall backwards - I can never, ever do it.
 
The trust exercise is also the stupidity exercise because you never know who has weak arms, crappy balance, poor timing or is just an @$$ hole who'll delight in watching you break every disk in your back & laugh hysterically at their dumb prank. Trust someone with my SPINE?!? I only have got one & I can't just buy another.

Today I got an odd surprise. I was about to call my son when the door opened & there he was! He'd brought a friend with him who looked exactly like him. The friend was wearing a t-shirt that read: This is my clone. How did I react? Wide Aspie eyes, no definable facial expression; "You guys look alike." Then, I returned to my typing on AC. I never told my son what I had intended to.
 
It depends on it that person how much close to me? and how he/she know about me? And it is also depends on surprise. If a close friend make me surprise then my response is good but when a unknown person make me surprise with bad news, my reaction is too bad and vast.
 
Gomendosi said:
What I meant was like when somebody is baking a cake and they let you lick the bowl or somebody gives you too much money and tells you to keep the change or the vending machine gives you to candy bars instead of one! The little things, you know things that surprise you? Random acts of kindness, nice things you weren?t expecting ; ][
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Depending on whether I feel pressured to reciprocate, it will either make me smile or scowl.

It's not that I have something against reciprocating, it is just that I hate pressure and manipulations, and subsequently resent people who try pressuring or manipulating me.
 
Surprises are something I'm quite indifferent about. Every day is full of them either way and there's nothing I can do about them, some are even okay. If I get an extra candy I'll just eat it, if I'll find extra money from pocket of a cloth I haven't used for long time, fine. Nice. If friend tells they're hitting to the town that day, ok, I might see them, or might not want to go out on a short notice. Depends who that is, too.

But I don't like getting complimentary ones, like gifts. Or anyone touching me even a bit by surprise. So I'm not having trouble with changes, it's just that I don't feel interest actively doing anything the way other than I'm used to. And that I don't need anything to change. But as that sometimes happens without a warning, I'll jst try to be adaptable.
 
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