No Thank you

[Aspychata]

If you knew my personal history, 911 would be realistic.

 

[Crossbreed]

Right- a quick call to 911. Speed dial.

You could always expand your repertoire...

Capoeira - Wikipedia

 

[Judge]

LOL. I once made the mistake of putting 911 on speed dial once for a landline on my first phone with an answering machine.

Spent a half hour with a cop searching my apartment. Lesson learned.

 

[Aspychata]

@Judge

You are right. There are truly men out there that don't get the word "no". And as females, we need to realise that.

 

[Wolfnox]

Yep. Though hopefully it won't ever come to that.

We're an autistic community of people. You're not likely to get feedback in the form of "softballs". We tend to be quite blunt here.

Meaning you're likely to hear the good, the bad and the ugly.

Couldn't resist.

 

[Rectify]

I still am hearing that no matter what l say or do, it falls on my shoulders to be careful? In society? I think that is the wrong answer.

Me too.

These were the original questions:

Why can't society accept who l am? How should l let men know l am not into dating?

The best that's been offered up is not to belly dance and possibly change her profile pic.
Do we think that Aspychata's wandering around all day and working in belly dance clothing? Maybe "shaking it" in front of the people she comes in contact with on the bus and at work? How on earth did the conversation come to that?

Well, we can all speak in terms of platitudes over conditions that don't really exist, or the realities that do exist.

The "reality" that exists here is someone asked how she can gently let down male suitors and people want to talk about one of her interests/hobbies instead, and to not give any useful suggestions.

You are right. There are truly men out there that don't get the word "no". And as females, we need to realise that.

You got someone to agree with you. But what does that have to do with the original questions asked?

 

[Judge]

Couldn't resist.

Good point. If you see a guy in the bar wearing a poncho chewing on a charoot, avoid him at all costs.

 

[Judge]

The "reality" that exists here is someone asked how she can gently let down male suitors and people want to talk about one of her interests/hobbies instead, and to not give any useful suggestions.

I already answered that. Tell them nonchalantly that you're a lesbian. Takes the air out of the situation in most cases, not to mention it may catch the average guy who doesn't want to make a scene off guard. I can only say that I'd have been temporarily mortified had that actually happened to me personally. But then I've never been in a bar just to hit on women either.

But for the guy who won't take no for an answer, there is likely no "gentle" way to let them down.

 

[Rectify]

I already answered that. Tell them you're a lesbian. Takes the air out of the situation in most cases, not to mention it may catch the average guy who doesn't want to make a scene off guard.
But for the guy who won't take no for an answer, there is likely no "gentle" way to let them down.

Depressing. Lie, change the way you act and dress but, hey, in the end...some won't take 'no' for an answer anyway.

 

[Judge]

Depressing. Lie, change the way you act and dress but, hey, in the end...some won't take 'no' for an answer anyway.

Yes! I find the whole issue depressing.

But then you have to consider my perspective on dating as well. Something I avoided like the plague. Instead settling for friendships where in select cases they blossomed into something more.

Social protocols, expectations and deception...makes dating something awful to me personally.

 

[Crossbreed]

Instead settling for friendships where in select cases they blossomed into something more.

My wife & I didn't go on an actual date until after we were married.

 

[Aspychata]

Truly at my age, l wake up every morning and ask the philosophical question of: Is there decent coffee in my kitchen, and if l am in deep thought, then l have answered the other question: l didn't die in my sleep last nite. Not questions of where do l tell the good, the bad, and ugly to politely go?

 

[Wolfnox]

Truly at my age, l wake up every morning and ask the philosophical question of: Is there decent coffee in my kitchen, and if l am in deep thought, then l have answered the other question: l didn't die in my sleep last nite. Not questions of where do l tell the good, the bad, and ugly to politely go?

Thats what the coffee is for.

 

[Judge]

Truly at my age, l wake up every morning and ask the philosophical question of: Is there decent coffee in my kitchen, and if l am in deep thought, then l have answered the other question: l didn't die in my sleep last nite. Not questions of where do l tell the good, the bad, and ugly to politely go?

I hear ya. I'm in my sixties. Just wanting to live out whatever years left I have in relative peace. Luckily I can't even recall the last time a stranger approached me in a public place.

 

[Aspychata]

@Wolf Prince You are indeed a wise wolf and walk softly along us.

 

[the_tortoise]

1. It clearly evokes a reaction.
2. Not everybody has appropriate boundaries.

The two choices that everyone has,

1. Risk an inappropriate reaction and prosecute them, after the fact; or
2. Restrain oneself in a volatile setting.

Maybe it would be more accurate to say it is a problem of lack of good boundaries then, rather than a libido problem?

 

[Judge]

Maybe it would be more accurate to say it is a problem of lack of good boundaries then, rather than a libido problem?

I suppose that may depend on the proximate cause of one's lack of boundaries to begin with. If there is one. But I don't think such concerns can reflect any broad number of people, but rather only the individual in question.

Pathologically speaking there's no telling what or how many things may influence one's inhibitions.

 

[Aspychata]

I guess l should ask the lady that had a gator stuffed down her pants when the cop arrested her last month in the state l live in, what her boundaries were? I think men should be approaching her, not me. lol Roxanne, you don't have to free the gator tonight......... Roxanne

 

[Wolfnox]

@Wolf Prince You are indeed a wise wolf and walk softly along us.

I do my best. Walk in peace. And always drink more coffee.

 

[Judge]

I guess l should ask the lady that had a gator stuffed down her pants when the cop arrested her last month in the state l live in, what her boundaries were?

That's actually even more bizarre than it appears on the surface. Reminds me of that series on Animal Planet about people who not only keep wild and dangerous pets, but that some fall in love with them.

Thus the title of the show, "Fatal Attractions". Boundaries? Maybe, if you can find any.

Fatal Attractions | Watch Full Episodes & More! - Animal Planet