“There are people who can't speak and don't understand much language.”
Thank you for this clarification, that helps.
“For me it's episodes that can be frequent and last long. They're mostly caused by fatigue and feeling overwhelmed.”
Yes that totally makes sense
“I understand language or else I wouldn't be writing here. But I'm hard of hearing and need good conditions to hear. I have problems with background noise and hearing on the phone / voice calls. If you don't speak to me loud and clear and I'm tired, I don't understand.”
I experience similar! There are so many times when people talk to me and I simply cannot understand the words that come from their mouth. I frequently have to ask people to repeat themselves, sometimes multiple times. It is weird.
“It's like, people say they can hear distinct voices of people at a restaurant, for me they're all blended into a noise.”
Yes it’s wild to me that people can hear at restaurants! For this reason restaurants make me uncomfortable. My fiancée can actually listen to multiple conversations at once in such settings
it baffles me.
“I can read, write and sign still during my nonverbal episodes though.”
That’s so interesting! I’ve found it is much easier to text than talk during my meltdowns. I’m curious why that is! I will have to remember to use texting more in this.
“That is yet another level of overwhelm, yeah. I experience it during shutdowns or metldowns too, but it has a higher threshold. In my own book, I just call it a shutdown or a meltdown, it's more than inability to speak, it's not being able to crystyllise thoughts and articulate them in any symbolic manner too.”
Totally!!
“I increasingly come to the conclusion, though, that I don't have the usual communication issues that autistic people have. I don't have any of the issues with focus, memory, processing speed or multitasking. My senses can act up though. I noticed that apart from auditory processing issues, I have also visual processing issues, in a similar fahshion to hearing. With all senses, I'm more in tune with the world of things than the world of people. I have sharpened senses, I have a strong sense of colour, shape, rythm, pitch etc. I have very sharp sense of smell and touch. I hear the most quiet noises and notice visual details. But my neurology isn't set up to pick up interpersonal communication easily especially in large groups that are too intense of an experience for me, the noise, pushing, movement, it's an exhausting and painful experience. I'm a classical introvert, I prefer peace and quiet and feel better in such environments than busy intense ones. So going back to the neurology, I can't hear people speak in noise and I have mild face blindness too. Faces don't quite stand out to me. Especially in a crowd. I pick up other elements of nonverbal communication better though. It's the sensory part that is the issue for me, I'm just not set up this way. But none of the usual problems on the mental or thought process level.”
So interesting, thank you for sharing! I relate to a lot of what you wrote, but I do not typically have the “sharpened senses… strong sense of colour, shape, rythm, pitch etc.” (except for when they overstimulate me). I think it’s neat that you have that, I hope it somehow helps you in some ways.
Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I appreciate it!
she still does not know about my autism, and I am debating whether to tell her. I just feel judged by her a lot. Sorry this response is kinda unrelated. Feels good to share it somewhere. Thank you for listening.
