I struggle with the idea of not having a future. My spiritual practice brings me into the present, there is only here and now and anything else is either an imagination, a fear, or a memory; the only thing that exists is this moment. And yet not having a future, not having an idea where I'm heading, is not always easy to accept.
I would like to have a future. The future brings hope and possibility, maybe even excitement, and while some futures still require walking slowly towards them, having one seems to be important.
I haven't had a future for a long time. I have simply got on with being in the present, doing the things that one needs to do. Daily stuff, mundane stuff, ensuring I have somewhere to live. And now I have those things, those habits, rhythms and routines in place, now what?
Were we not in a global pandemic, and the freedom to move about still existed, there were ideas that I wanted to explore and probably would have. It wasn't easy to accept I could not choose any of them.
And so all I have is this moment. Am I okay in it? Yes. It's as simple as I can make it. It has what I need. It's not perfect. I can't control what other people do and I've chosen to live around other people who are essentially quite different to me. They have their own ways of doing things and I know I would not choose to live around people who did things those ways if I had another choice. And I don't really see that I do.
So I have to accept it as it is. Wanting it to be different doesn't change the fact that it is the way it is. And through acceptance there is peace to be found. I’m struggling to accept the situation because there is a nagging, niggling, urging, remembering, that this is not all there is. This is not where I end up and have to stay even if the consistency of familiarity is something I do really need in my life.
It is often easier to remain living in a situation that is not preferable because it is familiar, than to take another leap of faith into the unknown and attempt to find familiarity there. We all have to be somewhere. And if I can't be in the present then I can't be at peace. If I can't find contentedness in this moment which moment can I?
And it is because there is so little to do except distract, remember, think, and I have the time to look at things, to go deep, to write about them, to share them here. And sometimes I receive responses that help. That make me feel like I am not alone. I am understood as there are people who have experienced similar things.
But most people don't live like I do, at least not in my experience. Perhaps there are more here because we are more similar in many ways.
Have you ever felt like you did not have a future? How did you deal with it?
Were are you able to accept the present and be patient?
It would be interesting to hear your perspective on this, because round and round I go, and I realise I'm only talking to myself. And that's why I write. Maybe somebody knows what I'm talking about.
I would like to have a future. The future brings hope and possibility, maybe even excitement, and while some futures still require walking slowly towards them, having one seems to be important.
I haven't had a future for a long time. I have simply got on with being in the present, doing the things that one needs to do. Daily stuff, mundane stuff, ensuring I have somewhere to live. And now I have those things, those habits, rhythms and routines in place, now what?
Were we not in a global pandemic, and the freedom to move about still existed, there were ideas that I wanted to explore and probably would have. It wasn't easy to accept I could not choose any of them.
And so all I have is this moment. Am I okay in it? Yes. It's as simple as I can make it. It has what I need. It's not perfect. I can't control what other people do and I've chosen to live around other people who are essentially quite different to me. They have their own ways of doing things and I know I would not choose to live around people who did things those ways if I had another choice. And I don't really see that I do.
So I have to accept it as it is. Wanting it to be different doesn't change the fact that it is the way it is. And through acceptance there is peace to be found. I’m struggling to accept the situation because there is a nagging, niggling, urging, remembering, that this is not all there is. This is not where I end up and have to stay even if the consistency of familiarity is something I do really need in my life.
It is often easier to remain living in a situation that is not preferable because it is familiar, than to take another leap of faith into the unknown and attempt to find familiarity there. We all have to be somewhere. And if I can't be in the present then I can't be at peace. If I can't find contentedness in this moment which moment can I?
And it is because there is so little to do except distract, remember, think, and I have the time to look at things, to go deep, to write about them, to share them here. And sometimes I receive responses that help. That make me feel like I am not alone. I am understood as there are people who have experienced similar things.
But most people don't live like I do, at least not in my experience. Perhaps there are more here because we are more similar in many ways.
Have you ever felt like you did not have a future? How did you deal with it?
Were are you able to accept the present and be patient?
It would be interesting to hear your perspective on this, because round and round I go, and I realise I'm only talking to myself. And that's why I write. Maybe somebody knows what I'm talking about.
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) about my current autism specialist's repeated questioning about what my goals were, and how important it is to our mental health to have a sense of purpose in life.
