NT Loneliness. (Heavy sigh)

[Warmheart]

Yes, goodhearted company sharing friendly vibes without requiring chit-chat is w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l.

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I will attempt to learn this thing called chit-chat for Grumpy Cat's sake.If I'm on the thread and silent too long, please ask me a question. I feel called to "grow into" something I'd like to become.

I'll get some utensils and come back tomorrow.

Self-gag? Check...
Timed delay on indignation? Oh, I need to get me one of those.
Cheat sheet on empathy that royinpink linked to from somewhere? Bookmarked.
What else do I need?

 

[zurb]

* cue dual-knee arthritic "crick" sounds

I don't mean to sidetrack a thread, but I gotta ask - is this a common aspie thing?
I know all my joints click and crack, though not generally loudly, and have done as long as I can remember. My wife's ankle clicks (garunches) really badly. Is this to do with the aspie 'loose joints'?

 

[Tia Maria]

... if I don't measure up to it, I need to try harder, and if I critique it, I am just "making excuses." My efforts will never be good enough, and I don't get to have a say. That makes me sad and frustrated. But then I remembered my friend and thought, maybe she is really not trying to be hurtful and silence me, maybe she is honest when she says she really cares. So I tried to explain ....

A belated reply, & maybe none is needed, but I wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the time & making the effort to explain all this to me. I do understand & get it better now, & I am glad you were able to connect all this in relation to your experience with your friend, because I do sincerely care.

From reading many of your posts Royinpink, I like & respect you (it would be hard IMO for anyone not too), & I would personally place complete confidence & trust that you know what's best for you, & are capable of making good decisions for yourself. I am sure any efforts you make in life are quite good enough & appropriate. And I am not trying or desire to silence you. Yes, you do get a say in your life & how things affect you. I say all that just to make it very clear that I heard you, & agree with you.

I am not sure what you exactly & tangibly mean by "not measuring up" but I personally don't judge people (nor wish to be judged) or tell other people how to live etc ... It is only when someone else seems to want something & I think I know how they might be able to obtain or achieve it, it's my nature to want to help them. But I understand that what works for me may not work for someone else, & that's okay. We all make our own choices, & need to find our own way. And I know that we all need to determine what works best for us individually based on our own unique needs, abilities, limitations etc ...

I personally hold no standard or expectation for anyone else to reach in their own life, nor expect any single person to be the same as other people, or do the same things "normal" people might do, or meet some supposed social standard. No, that is not me. And I feel very badly (empathize) for those I like here at AC that they seem to feel those kinds of pressure nearly everywhere they go.

If by "measuring up" you mean being a good person (or at least trying to be) & having character traits like integrity, honesty & so on .. those are the values that are important to me. Unlike some here I do believe there is good & evil, & I also believe that the difference matters.

I only expect from myself & anyone else to just 'do our best', whatever that is for any individual, or at least try. I myself try - emphasis on try, because I do falter - but I try to always be a good person, but I admitedly don't always do my best in life as I can be unmotivated & undisciplined. (Although if I absolutely must do something, I will. Well, maybe. Just kidding! )

I hope this helps you understand & know me better. I really do not explain & communicate things well; but please know that I do care. I am sorry that I probably made you feel so frustrated & misunderstood, & unappreciated. I see in you a very special, thoughtful, intelligent, worthwhile & likable individual despite whatever struggles you have or are facing.

 

[royinpink]

A belated reply, & maybe none is needed, but I wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the time & making the effort to explain all this to me. I do understand & get it better now, & I am glad you were able to connect all this in relation to your experience with your friend, because I do sincerely care.

From reading many of your posts Royinpink, I like & respect you (it would be hard IMO for anyone not too), & I would personally place complete confidence & trust that you know what's best for you, & are capable of making good decisions for yourself. I am sure any efforts you make in life are quite good enough & appropriate. And I am not trying or desire to silence you. Yes, you do get a say in your life & how things affect you. I say all that just to make it very clear that I heard you, & agree with you.

I am not sure what you exactly & tangibly mean by "not measuring up" but I personally don't judge people (nor wish to be judged) or tell other people how to live etc ... It is only when someone else seems to want something & I think I know how they might be able to obtain or achieve it, it's my nature to want to help them. But I understand that what works for me may not work for someone else, & that's okay. We all make our own choices, & need to find our own way. And I know that we all need to determine what works best for us individually based on our own unique needs, abilities, limitations etc ...

I personally hold no standard or expectation for anyone else to reach in their own life, nor expect any single person to be the same as other people, or do the same things "normal" people might do, or meet some supposed social standard. No, that is not me. And I feel very badly (empathize) for those I like here at AC that they seem to feel those kinds of pressure nearly everywhere they go.

If by "measuring up" you mean being a good person (or at least trying to be) & having character traits like integrity, honesty & so on .. those are the values that are important to me. Unlike some here I do believe there is good & evil, & I also believe that the difference matters.

I only expect from myself & anyone else to just 'do our best', whatever that is for any individual, or at least try. I myself try - emphasis on try, because I do falter - but I try to always be a good person, but I admitedly don't always do my best in life as I can be unmotivated & undisciplined. (Although if I absolutely must do something, I will. Well, maybe. Just kidding! )

I hope this helps you understand & know me better. I really do not explain & communicate things well; but please know that I do care. I am sorry that I probably made you feel so frustrated & misunderstood, & unappreciated. I see in you a very special, thoughtful, intelligent, worthwhile & likable individual despite whatever struggles you have or are facing.

That was such a kind and thoughtful message. Thank you so much for taking the time to write it all. No need to apologize.

 

[Warmheart]

Zurb, good question! If I swing my arm rapidly about, my shoulder joint kinda sounds like one of those ratchet-y wrenches. Or, like Ernie's laugh from Sesame Street.

Aspergirl4Hire, it is a pleasure to read you here. I also am not good at chit-chat, so I am beaming you good thoughts.

Hoping that Grumpy Cat nurse is feeling well today.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I am proud to say that I was either a reindeer in my past life, or a bowl of Rice Krispies.I can get a crack out of both sides of my jaw, nearly every vertebra in my spine, both shoulders, both collar bones, both elbows, both wrists, all joints in the fingers and thumbs, one per each toe, my right hip, both knees, both ankles, and sometimes the balls of my feet. Not even trying! Just getting up and moving. Except for fingers and toes, those are intentional. And part of my jaw, sometimes I can just hang and wiggle it and have weird little clicks on each side as long as I want, but that ear-itates my ears.

When I do Yoga daily I'm not as noisy. I think it's because I get all the cracks out at once so they don't surprise me later on in the day. But if I'm stuck in one position too long, my varying joints will build up a painful pressure and I'll have to extend them to pop and get relief.