Ok “spooner”? What?

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Note: please don’t be rude. This is my personal opinion. Thank you.

Something off topic. I found a t shirt that said “yes I’m a boomer, but remember I taught you how to use a spoon. OK Spooner!”.

Now I want to point out how I really feel this is just a petty excuse for abusive relatives to make to justify asshole behavior onto their youngsters. You can disagree with me all you want but I believe “Ok Boomer” is basically a response from younger generations claiming they’ve had enough of being shamed by their elders over everything. Now I’m sure there’s the reverse idea where you get folks are very abusive to their elders, but that’s another story.

And about those responses on being called a boomer (not offensive, just a generation label to separate generational categories), they tend to go all “back in my day” and “who’s doing X for you?” and even start millennial and Gen Z shaming. Is this the way to go? I don’t think so.

 

[Crossbreed]

Our generation had many of the same sensibilities as yours when we were your age, and so did previous generations. There are no better generations, just more-experienced (dare I say, settled) ones...

With older bodies, you tend to think first & jump second.

 

[Fino]

The only way something can be off-topic in the "off-topic" section would be if it were something that fit in somewhere else and was actually on-topic in relation to the website and therefore off-topic in relation to the "off-topic" section. I think.

Do you make efforts to live up to your username?

I don't really understand what was said on the T-shirt. What's a spooner? I thought this topic was going to be about spooning (the sleeping-with-a-person thing).

 

[Crossbreed]

https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-is-spooning

By The Light Of The Silvery Moon

 

[Judge]

I found a t shirt that said “yes I’m a boomer, but remember I taught you how to use a spoon. OK Spooner!”.

If I wanted to post sentiments pitting one generation over another, I'd try to be far more succinct in such a message without such a confusing example.

Then again I would not likely want to openly post such sentiments and generalizations, mostly given the very wide range of ages of members of this autistic community. Generalizations of many kinds don't usually go over well with this community.

 

[Rodafina]

You can disagree with me all you want but I believe “Ok Boomer” is basically a response from younger generations claiming they’ve had enough of being shamed by their elders over everything

We are all allowed unique opinions here. My perspective is different than yours. It doesn’t make either one of us right or wrong. It just means we are interpreting our lived experience in the world in different ways.

But yes, my perspective is different. Those who have lived long lives have an understanding of the world that youth cannot yet perceive because it is entirely dependent on having spent more time on this Earth. Time grants experience, increased hardship, joy, confusion, and opportunity for success. For those who are willing to process their thoughts and feelings, time grants wisdom that one cannot gain without spending more years traveling around the sun.

All generations deserve respect for where they are at in their lives and individuals deserve respect for whatever experiences they have had. Both the young and the old have value and those of us in the middle do, too. There is more to be gained from trying to understand and listen to each other than there is in proving who is acting shamefully.

 

[Progster]

It sets up a kind of "us v. them" scenario, which I don't find very helpful.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

If I wanted to post sentiments pitting one generation over another, I'd try to be far more succinct in such a message without such a confusing example.

Then again I would not likely want to openly post such sentiments and generalizations, mostly given the very wide range of ages of members of this autistic community. Generalizations of many kinds don't usually go over well with this community.

I did not make the joke regarding the t-shirt. And to clear up this confusion, a ‘spooner’ is referring to how an elder was teaching a millennial how to feed themselves using a spoon when they were a baby. The joke screams out “I’m the one who did everything for you, you DARE defy me?!”. When most millennials (or Gen Yers) were born, boomers (or Gen Wers) were the ones reasoning them. First off, no, I don’t find the joke to be very funny. And you’re right, it can also be very confusing if you don’t have enough information regarding the generation gap. But keep in mind, I did NOT make the joke, I wanted to point out how it’s not a good argument regarding abusive relationships.

And no, I’m not trying to put generations against each other. That’s the LAST thing I wanted to do. I am actually trying to call those out that engage in abusive behaviors and go “I did X for you and this is how you pay me back?!”, you know that form of manipulative and harmful behavior. I hope that clears up at least some of the confusion for you.

 

[Tom]

Spoonfield - The messy cluttered table after dinner.

 

[Hypnalis]

What abusive behaviors are you calling out, and who exactly is doing the abusing?

All baby-boomers? Or are you claiming that the proportion of "dark triad" traits in boomers is higher than later generations? People who are, or equally often appear to be behaving badly in carefully edited TikTok videos?
Some micro-scale experience you've had with a small part of your extended family?

Don't claim the bad behavior of a small minority is representative of the majority.
This isn't just a small error BTW - in human matters it's a huge mistake.

That T-Shirt is specifically refuting, via humor, the irrational judgmental attitude you're displaying here.
Keep reading it until you can see both the humor and the point it's making.

 

[Misery]

The joke screams out “I’m the one who did everything for you, you DARE defy me?!”

Honestly, it doesnt read to me as something that screams anything at all.

It reads like a low effort joke that someone, who doesnt get paid enough to make better jokes and thus doesnt care, came up with to put on a low effort shirt. Heck, I can even see the reasoning that could potentially be there: "yeah, need something here so the shirt isnt blank... *clicks random links while browsing internet looking at memes* I dunno, that stupid boomer line everyone says on the internet is popular, let's just type something random about that... sure there we go, whatever, who cares, time for a snack."

It's EXACTLY what I'd do in that situation (provided I didnt get overly distracted by cat videos or something). And I'd not care enough to have anything resembling actual meaning behind it. Provided I even know what the meaning is.

Sometimes, a bad joke really is just a bad joke. And sometimes things dont actually have any hidden meaning... or any meaning at all. Well, I suppose the meaning could be "hey pay attention to this GIVE US MONEY".

Regardless, it's just a dumb line stolen directly from the derpy part of the internet that just parrots things over and over.

Allowing yourself to get offended or all worked up over things like that is a really quick road to pointless stress.

 

[tazz]

let's just type something random about that... sure there we go, whatever, who cares, time for a snack.

Almost all social media posts...

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

What abusive behaviors are you calling out, and who exactly is doing the abusing?

All baby-boomers? Or are you claiming that the proportion of "dark triad" traits in boomers is higher than later generations? People who are, or equally often appear to be behaving badly in carefully edited TikTok videos?
Some micro-scale experience you've had with a small part of your extended family?

Don't claim the bad behavior of a small minority is representative of the majority.
This isn't just a small error BTW - in human matters it's a huge mistake.

That T-Shirt is specifically refuting, via humor, the irrational judgmental attitude you're displaying here.
Keep reading it until you can see both the humor and the point it's making.

Yeah I already see the humor and the point it’s actually making. But in my opinion, it’s pure low effort. And no I’m not referring to “all boomers” or even the attitude that boomers seem to so-called have. I’m specifically calling out the attitudes that defend racism, misogyny, homophobia, and other forms of bigotry that a lot of Gen Wers have, I’m not being exclusive, this is my experience that most of the bigotry I see is coming from that generation, or so they claim to be.

From the defense you’re giving, you should also make note that making justifications to trash talk millennials and Gen Zers is uncalled for. Unless you have a secretive bias against those kinds of people, that would be ironic lol

 

[autism-and-autotune]

The only way something can be off-topic in the "off-topic" section would be if it were something that fit in somewhere else and was actually on-topic in relation to the website and therefore off-topic in relation to the "off-topic" section. I think.

Do you make efforts to live up to your username?

I don't really understand what was said on the T-shirt. What's a spooner? I thought this topic was going to be about spooning (the sleeping-with-a-person thing).

I'd thought that 'spooner' could be another term for neurodivergents, as some of us count executive function as 'spoons.' Perhaps I am incorrect.

I'll gladly call myself a spooner though! I don't find it derogatory or offensive.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

Honestly, it doesnt read to me as something that screams anything at all.

It reads like a low effort joke that someone, who doesnt get paid enough to make better jokes and thus doesnt care, came up with to put on a low effort shirt. Heck, I can even see the reasoning that could potentially be there: "yeah, need something here so the shirt isnt blank... *clicks random links while browsing internet looking at memes* I dunno, that stupid boomer line everyone says on the internet is popular, let's just type something random about that... sure there we go, whatever, who cares, time for a snack."

It's EXACTLY what I'd do in that situation (provided I didnt get overly distracted by cat videos or something). And I'd not care enough to have anything resembling actual meaning behind it. Provided I even know what the meaning is.

Sometimes, a bad joke really is just a bad joke. And sometimes things dont actually have any hidden meaning... or any meaning at all. Well, I suppose the meaning could be "hey pay attention to this GIVE US MONEY".

Regardless, it's just a dumb line stolen directly from the derpy part of the internet that just parrots things over and over.

Allowing yourself to get offended or all worked up over things like that is a really quick road to pointless stress.

Actually you cannot CHOOSE to get offended. It is an instinct. Another scenario, can you decide whether you’re hungry or not? No. Your body does that job. You can try as hard as you might to think otherwise, but you cannot control these instincts. Sure we can pretend all we want that we’re not angry, but deep down our bodies are releasing stress everyday no matter what circumstance it is. We can numb ourselves, but it just makes the situation worse for us.

 

[2Fragile2TakeCriticism]

I think this happens to every generation. All generations rebel against an older generation and think they are stupid. It's very human. I'm old enough now to be your dad and the thing is, I have more experience than you. When I was 20 I was the world champion of everything. And immortal. And only now do I see how wrong I was. Because, experience. Let's say you complained about something to me. And I just said "quit whining and get outside and mow the lawn!". I'm guessing to you that would be "asshole behaviour". To me it would be like talking to my 20 year old self in a way. And a little funny.

I don't really know what "millennial and Gen Z shaming" is, but I suspect it's normal criticism. Everyone has to deal with criticism, like it or not.

Actually a lot of times, what may seem like criticism to you may actually be derogative behavior to me (and many others my age). Suppose someone your age said something strongly racist, homophobic, etc, and my calling them out would be seen as complaining. Would I STILL be in the wrong for calling out derogative behavior that a person from an older generation displayed?

Usually when I hear stuff like “older people have more experience than you youngsters” it usually comes from a sense of superiority. How about we change the demographics for a bit so you could understand my point a little bit more? Let’s say a group of white supremacists (in place of an older generation) would show offensive behavior that makes people of color (in place of a younger generation) inferior. For example what if someone said “white people are more experienced in war than black people”? That would obviously be offensive and discredit the partake of African Americans in that same position. When the POC group calls them out, the supremacists will say “stop whining and go back to your own country!” (a racial equivalent of “get off my lawn” or “stay in the kitchen”). In short it screams “know your place”.

That my friend, is how this tactic works. One group will use their identity as an excuse to be crappy towards another and claim “more experience” is superior to lack of is blatantly obvious to me. If you think about that instance, and imagine if people of color didn’t rebel and actually accepted that mindset (which they realistically didn’t) then they wouldn’t be offered the rights they have now. As long as we are stigmatizing people because of our superiority complex and expect others to change what we cannot, we’re obviously going nowhere. Backwards even.

 

[Hypnalis]

@2Fragile2TakeCriticism

I’m not referring to “all boomers” or even the attitude that boomers seem to so-called have. I’m specifically calling out the attitudes that defend racism, misogyny, homophobia, and other forms of bigotry that a lot of Gen Wers have

At least you're entertaining - it's doesn't make up for your blatant bias, but it makes you a little less boring.

Back to your post as a whole:

You can't reasonably use the bad behavior you're criticizing as you make the criticism.

The quoted text is an excellent example of the kind of "spin" that frequently comes in the form of "I have nothing against "category X" but ..." where the ellipsis is some "hater" nonsense proving the speaker absolutely has something against "category X".

In this case, it's: "I'm not hating on "all X", I'm just hating on "a lot of X" so it's completely ok" /lol.
It's the same unjustifiable claim you used earlier, but made less distinct as a deflection.

Here's a pre-boomer principle that you should definitely reflect on:
"If you haven't studied logic, you should not attempt to use it"

Having done the necessary study, I'm able to resolve your final sentence into a blank line.

But once again it's fun.

FYI the process of making up stuff like that is actually harder that taking facts and sound principles, and saying something useful. The extra effort is a kind of mental tax - it's the "price" have having neither facts nor rational principles conveniently available.

 

[Luca]

I think this happens to every generation. All generations rebel against an older generation and think they are stupid. It's very human. I'm old enough now to be your dad and the thing is, I have more experience than you. When I was 20 I was the world champion of everything. And immortal. And only now do I see how wrong I was. Because, experience. Let's say you complained about something to me. And I just said "quit whining and get outside and mow the lawn!". I'm guessing to you that would be "asshole behaviour". To me it would be like talking to my 20 year old self in a way. And a little funny.

I don't really know what "millennial and Gen Z shaming" is, but I suspect it's normal criticism. Everyone has to deal with criticism, like it or not.

Yes, this is very true.
There is definitely a bit of a "gap" between different generations regarding what is and isn't socially appropriate, differences in pop culture, social media use, education, world view, etc.

I don't "shame" Gen Z people, but I admit that I don't understand a lot about how they view the world because we are not on the same page in regards to pop culture, entertainment, and media, especially. I have admitted a lot on here to not understanding Gen Z humor at all, and finding Tiktok and Snapchat incredibly alien.
And in return, a lot of younger Gen Z people think Millenials are old and cringey, and think my jokes and taste in entertainment are lame and outdated.

We are all classified as different generations for a reason. There is a big difference between someone who was born in 1990 and someone who was born in 2005. Same with someone who was born in the 1950s and someone who was born in the 1980s. There are always going to be generation gaps, and I don't think there's any reason to shame anyone for it. The best we can do is try to bridge the gap a bit by learning about each other.

On a different subject, I totally agree with @Misery 's post.

 

[Bolletje]

The joke screams out “I’m the one who did everything for you, you DARE defy me?!”.

Really? I don’t read it that way at all. It’s a weak joke and not that funny, to me, but I think you read a lot more aggression into it than was intended. Feels like you might be projecting a little?

 

[Luca]

Actually a lot of times, what may seem like criticism to you may actually be derogative behavior to me (and many others my age). Suppose someone your age said something strongly racist, homophobic, etc, and my calling them out would be seen as complaining. Would I STILL be in the wrong for calling out derogative behavior that a person from an older generation displayed?

Usually when I hear stuff like “older people have more experience than you youngsters” it usually comes from a sense of superiority. How about we change the demographics for a bit so you could understand my point a little bit more? Let’s say a group of white supremacists (in place of an older generation) would show offensive behavior that makes people of color (in place of a younger generation) inferior. For example what if someone said “white people are more experienced in war than black people”? That would obviously be offensive and discredit the partake of African Americans in that same position. When the POC group calls them out, the supremacists will say “stop whining and go back to your own country!” (a racial equivalent of “get off my lawn” or “stay in the kitchen”). In short it screams “know your place”.

That my friend, is how this tactic works. One group will use their identity as an excuse to be crappy towards another and claim “more experience” is superior to lack of is blatantly obvious to me. If you think about that instance, and imagine if people of color didn’t rebel and actually accepted that mindset (which they realistically didn’t) then they wouldn’t be offered the rights they have now. As long as we are stigmatizing people because of our superiority complex and expect others to change what we cannot, we’re obviously going nowhere. Backwards even.

Well, this I do see your point on, especially being POC and gay myself.
Derogative behavior is never acceptable no matter who is displaying it. If an older or younger person is being an asshole to you, definitely call them out on it because no one deserves to be talked to like that.
But it probably has little to do with what age or generation they are.