On the subject of accuracy vs politeness

[Neia]

Many years ago, I was working at a private school and we had to attend a party for someone who was going away.

There was a guy there who was rather obnoxious, but I wasn't paying attention to him. Then he turned to me and told me that my name, a derivation of the name of Athena, was the name of a prostitute because Athena was the goddess of prostitutes and prostitution.

You don't go through life having a mythological Greek name without knowing a thing or two on Greek Mythology.
I argued that no, Athena was the goddess of wisdom, not prostitution, and was upset because he got such a basic fact of Greek mythology wrong.

A couple of my friends were furious with him.
I din't understand why they were so upset because of some mythological fact.

It was only when they told me that the way he had spoken, how he was acting, he had basically called me a prostitute, only then did the little bulb in my head finally lit up.
They were offended because he had been rude, I was upset because he gotten some basic facts wrong.

I have had many situations like this happen in my life, and it was only after learning that a common trait of autism is to value facts more than what is polite or not, that I started to understand me.

I do care, and I don't want to be rude and hurt people, but if someone is trying to be rude to me, it'll often just go WOOOSH right over my head.

 

[Peter Morrison]

Neia, join the club. I don't expect rudeness from people and I listen to the point behind their message. Without knowing the obnoxious guy, it's hard to tell if he was intentionally trying to call you a prostitute, or if he was genuinely misinformed about Athena. I commend you for remaining polite and correcting him. Being gullible is one of the vibes some of us give off. If I sense that someone is trying to insult me with something "clever", I usually go along with the slight and contribute an additional piece of information on the same topic. It destroys their "clever" insult and neutralizes the impact. I never get insulted by a rude comment. I consider the source and judge from there. Remaining polite is a good skill to master. Some might call it "grace under pressure".

 

[marc_101]

Haha. I think that's for sure a trait. I'm always balancing that trade-off. Facts versus politeness. It's so much worse for me in academia, especially on something related to my area of research.

Also, come on, Athena wouldn't be a popular name if it were based on the goddess of prostitution. Does anybody know a lot of people called Judas or Cain?

Is there a goddess of prostitution?

 

[Neia]

Neia, join the club. I don't expect rudeness from people and I listen to the point behind their message. Without knowing the obnoxious guy, it's hard to tell if he was intentionally trying to call you a prostitute, or if he was genuinely misinformed about Athena. I commend you for remaining polite and correcting him. Being gullible is one of the vibes some of us give off. If I sense that someone is trying to insult me with something "clever", I usually go along with the slight and contribute an additional piece of information on the same topic. It destroys their "clever" insult and neutralizes the impact. I never get insulted by a rude comment. I consider the source and judge from there. Remaining polite is a good skill to master. Some might call it "grace under pressure".

When I notice that someone is trying to trick me in some way, to be rude or deceptive, I do go along and let them think they are deceiving me.

I hate conflict.

But sometimes, if I've had a rather tough day and my limited patience has emptied out, I'll try to argue, politely. But usually just tell them that I know they are being jerks and turn my back and leave.

Usually though, I won't even notice.
Only after people call my attention to it , do I start to think. But I mostly don't care unless it's something really important to me, and I know that what they are saying will be harmful in some way.
Otherwise... let them think they have tricked me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

people routinely mistake my wife for my daughter, does not bother me

 

[Neia]

Haha. I think that's for sure a trait. I'm always balancing that trade-off. Facts versus politeness. It's so much worse for me in academia, especially on something related to my area of research.

Also, come on, Athena wouldn't be a popular name if it were based on the goddess of prostitution. Does anybody know a lot of people called Judas or Cain?

Is there a goddess of prostitution?

Aphrodite.
She was the goddess of love and her temple was associated with ritual prostitution.

There are others, but not from Greek mythology.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

When I notice that someone is trying to trick me in some way, to be rude or deceptive, I do go along and let them think they are deceiving me.

I hate conflict.

But sometimes, if I've had a rather tough day and my limited patience has emptied out, I'll try to argue, politely. But usually just tell them that I know they are being jerks and turn my back and leave.

Usually though, I won't even notice.
Only after people call my attention to it , do I start to think. But I mostly don't care unless it's something really important to me, and I know that what they are saying will be harmful in some way.
Otherwise... let them think they have tricked me.

That's the way I react, never worry about what others think. It's just their opinion. Their was a rumour in high school was a drug addict still not remotely true.

 

[Aspychata]

I had a gentleman, (lol) call me a name, (female dog in heat), because my car was stranded on the road, and he felt l was required to spend time just chatting away. When he didn't like my very curt answers, he drove off in a huff and threw that insult at me. I stuck my head,out of my car and told him thanks for the nice thoughts.
He drove up uber close to my car door, opposite lane, and l couldn't even open my door. The next male walked to my passenger side, leans in with elbows on my window ledge which was down, and proceeds full on with a chat, which l also shut down in about 60 seconds. There are very lonely men apparently in this area, but l am definitely not a social butterfly. I think l will tell men l have Covid, that may work.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Crude attempt at hoping to get a date, that's how some guys work. My favorite Aspie on TV was bones .Loved the episode where she punched the judge.

 

[Neia]

I had a gentleman, (lol) call me a name, (female dog in heat), because my car was stranded on the road, and he felt l was required to spend time just chatting away. When he didn't like my very curt answers, he drove off in a huff and threw that insult at me. I stuck my head,out of my car and told him thanks for the nice thoughts.

I worked at a Youth Hostel a looooong time ago.

I was usually polite and correct with everyone, but one morning I had a gaggle of preteens wanting to buy postcards and stamps and other things like that, and... Well. Lets just say that my limited patience was running out because of all the confusion and screaming kids.

One of the adults asked me for something and I told him to wait, probably without saying please at the end. He grew taller and looked at me straight in the eyes and asked "Why are you so acidic?" and I smiled and said "Oh... I drink a litter of vinagre every morning."

The man grew very red and either left or fell quiet. Don't remember because I had to get back to attending to the kids and try not to bite their heads off.

 

[Misty Avich]

I think I'd prefer someone getting facts wrong than insulting or criticising me.

 

[Aspychata]

That's too funny. I try to stay polite 96% of the time.

 

[Neia]

I think I'd prefer someone getting facts wrong than insulting or criticising me.

As I usually don't notice when people are trying to insult me or criticising me, I don't care either way.

I do care when someone is trying to make me believe something I know is not true though. Or telling a lie about me... that one isn't fun either.

But if they are just throwing out insults, mostly I won't notice unless I've had time to think, and then it's usually too late.
The few times I notice I just let it slide to avoid conflict.

I'm more like a pressure cooker I think.

 

[Forest Cat]

Then he turned to me and told me that my name, a derivation of the name of Athena, was the name of a prostitute because Athena was the goddess of prostitutes and prostitution.

Worst pick-up line ever.

 

[Neia]

That's too funny. I try to stay polite 96% of the time.

I try it very hard, and sometimes still stuff both my feet in my mouth, and only know I did when people complain that my words hurt them.

 

[Kayla55]

Aphrodite.
She was the goddess of love and her temple was associated with ritual prostitution.

There are others, but not from Greek mythology.

People who say these things have problem with them self, they've never learnt to balance their views on women, since barely cope with sexual aspect they corrupt provider spirit and in end disrespect mother image.
You are concerned with facts but you'll learn that there are these types of men to avoid. Some men believe all women are stupid or that even deity can only be sex symbol. That's just their view however it's a man world so you get this a lot.

 

[Misty Avich]

As I usually don't notice when people are trying to insult me or criticising me, I don't care either way.

I do care when someone is trying to make me believe something I know is not true though. Or telling a lie about me... that one isn't fun either.

But if they are just throwing out insults, mostly I won't notice unless I've had time to think, and then it's usually too late.
The few times I notice I just let it slide to avoid conflict.

I'm more like a pressure cooker I think.

I'm not very good with facts so if someone gets a fact wrong I usually just believe them, as I do feel most people are more knowledgeable than me.

Unless it's about a spelling.

 

[Neia]

I'm not very good with facts so if someone gets a fact wrong I usually just believe them, as I do feel most people are more knowledgeable than me.

Unless it's about a spelling.

I have to confess that I'm still somewhat like that.

If someone tells me something I take them at their word. It's brought me great grief. But I'm learning (at 53) that I must be more discerning.

Then comes the opposite reaction. After a first moment of complete acceptance, I start to ruminate on the conversation, and if something comes to the forefront as "funny" or uncomfortable, I'll fear having been deceived.

But depending on what it was that was passed as fact, I might ignore it so as not to have a conflict.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I'm not the kind of person to let rubbish pass. conspiracy theories in particular.

 

[Misty Avich]

Whenever someone says a conspiracy theory I start getting really anxious and I need reassurance that it isn't true, even if I know deep down how far-fetched it sounds. Maybe because of the modern day media that tells such convincing lies and you don't always know what is true and what isn't. They seem to use fear to get people's attention, but fear can incite anxiety, depression and stress, so it's not really good for everyone's health.