Me too, but I rather lose patience than not know how to not be. I get frustrated and bored from beating around the bush.I can be rather blunt.
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Me too, but I rather lose patience than not know how to not be. I get frustrated and bored from beating around the bush.I can be rather blunt.
I'm blunt because I can't read the situation and give an appropriate reply.Me too, but I rather lose patience than not know how to not be. I get frustrated and bored from beating around the bush.
Hmm, was it really the wrong thing to say though? I mean, imagine an autistic person was complaining here about their NT friend saying exactly what you said about the camp. I bet you any money you like their (the NT's) comment would be justified. I've seen that happen all the time on these forums and it irks me to no end. It's like there's always a logical reason why an NT would say something hurtful (not what you said was that hurtful anyway, your friend needs to grow a pair), but if an autistic says the same thing it's inappropriate in every context.I can be rather blunt.
That's why I prefer text chatting. It gives me the possibility to think about what the other person is saying, and try to respond appropriately.
And even then, I can still offend people.
Recently, one of my best friends got really upset with me when I, innocently, commented on something she said. She was talking about sending her kids to camp, and I said some summer camps really aren't what's expected and was about to talk about my own experience. She got furious and started aggressively asking me (almost shouting) if I thought she hadn't vetted the place.
That was a surprising one... I felt hurt. What's the point of having a conversation if you can't share your thoughts and experiences?
I apologised and didn't say anything about the subject anymore.
I'm still learning that.Hmm, was it really the wrong thing to say though? I mean, imagine an autistic person was complaining here about their NT friend saying exactly what you said about the camp. I bet you any money you like their (the NT's) comment would be justified. I've seen that happen all the time on these forums and it irks me to no end. It's like there's always a logical reason why an NT would say something hurtful (not what you said was that hurtful anyway, your friend needs to grow a pair), but if an autistic says the same thing it's inappropriate in every context.
That's one factor I hate about having ASD - it seems like we're always made to feel guilty for our actions, yet so many of us have been bullied by so many NTs in our lives and I wonder how many of them actually feel guilty for it? More likely they forget, while we might suffer with our mental health because of it for the rest of our lives. Just doesn't seem fair. Autism is an unfair condition to have. It's why I don't tell people I have it (beyond this forum) because I hate the lectures people start giving me about people's feelings, when I already know about people's feelings. Gets on my nerves. I've never actually had those lectures from people who DON'T know I have ASD, so something about ASD must just make people (NT and AS) automatically connect autism and empathy. Really rattles my cage it does.I'm still learning that.
Not to feel guilty for things I say that are me sharing my own experience, or when I ask a question because I'm in doubt about something.
Double standards.Also I get the double standard idea from something I read about autism somewhere, and I don't think the person who wrote it really thought it through. It was ages ago and I don't know where I'd read it so I can't post a link or anything.
Anyway it started off with a scenario where an Aspie's NT neighbour had an argument with their spouse about putting the trash out, so it made the NT unfriendly to the Aspie because the NT was in a bad mood. The Aspie took it personally and thought the NT was being rude. Then the Aspie was described as "this is the typical lacking of empathy on the Aspie's part, because they're taking everything personally instead of understanding that other people have problems too."
Then a bit further on it mentioned about Aspies who are having a bad day (sensory overload, anxiety, meltdown, etc) are being selfish if they ignore their NT friends/neighbours because typically people are going to take it personally when an Aspie is not engaging and we should respect the NT's feelings in that regard.
So the person who wrote that just contradicted themselves there. And I do see that same contradiction implied in a lot of articles or other information about autism.
It's like when an Aspie has a problem, we can't expect NTs to read our minds or understand we might have a problem and not take our actions personally.
But when an NT has a problem, we are expected to read their minds and understand they may have a problem and not to take their actions personally.
Yes I know context is everything but in this both the contexts are identical but just the neurologies are swapped.
Good analogy.Double standards.
I think of it like the world at large wanting me to be able to run with a permanently broken leg, while they are allowed to refuse to run because they are wearing unfashionable shoes.
I must be normal then, as I am more governed by emotions and opinions than rational thinking.Maybe we should understand that the world of the neurotypical's is the broken one, and while we may be minority, it doesn't mean we are the broken one's?
We need to have sympathy for these poor people who can only live in a world of emotions with which to make decisions and form opinions! (he says in a most patronising manner! Revenge on the normal's is mine at last!)
I work with engineers but they all seem to be NTs, especially the really loud guy, he is what I call "extreme NT". I couldn't learn engineering to save my life.If we were gone, they'd lose a lot of those unique minds that make real things - engineers, scientists, artists (of all media), philosophers, and so on.
If they were gone, we lose all the discrimination, bullying, lack of thinking, damaging behaviours, and and and ...
Oh no! I really didn't mean to insult you by suggesting that!I must be normal then, as I am more governed by emotions and opinions than rational thinking.![]()
Not all of course! But my suspicion is that statistically the ND one's tend to be more likely not to think outside the box, but to be outside the box!I work with engineers but they all seem to be NTs, especially the really loud guy, he is what I call "extreme NT". I couldn't learn engineering to save my life.
I do too.I react very emotionally when I perceive that someone (animal or human) is powerless and being bullied, being put upon.
Then my reaction is visceral. I feel extreme anger, rage, towards the brute who is being mean, and an urge to protect the one being hurt.
Push me in a corner and I become a "Honey Badger" mentally, at times.I never back down when pushed though, I have a stubbornness that isn't matched by many.
My mother used to say something like "You could be sitting on a rock and affirm it was made of wood."Push me in a corner and I become a "Honey Badger" mentally, at times.
My mind is my weapon.
"Traditional" autistics are are known for their stubbornness.
I am one such beast when pushed to the limit.
But it is rare these days.
No need to fret...
...Bwahahahahaha...
My mother told me that I'd cut off my own nose just to spite my face. I said "Yes.". I was 8 years old.My mother used to say something like "You could be sitting on a rock and affirm it was made of wood."
You gotta luv dem double standards.Nah, it's because humans aren't perfect, but if autistic people aren't perfect then oh dear oh dearie me.
Agreed.Double standards.
I think of it like the world at large wanting me to be able to run with a permanently broken leg, while they are allowed to refuse to run because they are wearing unfashionable shoes.
Agreed...It's like when an Aspie has a problem, we can't expect NTs to read our minds or understand we might have a problem and not take our actions personally.
But when an NT has a problem, we are expected to read their minds and understand they may have a problem and not to take their actions personally.
That's one factor I hate about having ASD - it seems like we're always made to feel guilty for our actions, yet so many of us have been bullied by so many NTs in our lives and I wonder how many of them actually feel guilty for it? More likely they forget, while we might suffer with our mental health because of it for the rest of our lives.