Passive Bullying of Those on the Autism Spectrum

[Nitro]

 

[Nitro]

We are going to maintain this thread with respect for each other or it will be closed to further replies.

 

[spaceman]

It's true that people can do it without thinking. But they aren't automatons. If made aware of how they make people feel they should take that into account. And if they continue at that point, while aware of how it affects the other, then it's definitely bullying.



I don't see why this should be a priority.

Exactly that. They should earn ours.

 

[AustinFrom1995]

I was bullied mercilessly because of my Autism. My schooldays were a living hell, I was called every name in the book, pushed, shoved, teased and hit for being "different". The kids would all whisper under their breaths as I passed by. I hated it! And the teachers never did a darn thing about it. :,(

 

[Mr Allen]

I had no idea what this meant, until I read the explanation in the OP. Yes, I have experienced passive bullying, all the way through high school by people who were supposedly my friends. I thought that was how you treated your friends, even though I was the only one treated in that way. Eventually I got some friends who weren't d***s.

I had a few friends at Secondary school, including a couple of the teachers, especially Mr Kearns the Liverpudlian Drama teacher, he said the first day I had him that he taught my older Brother years ago at a different school.

 

[tree]

I couldn't make any sense of the concept of "passive bullying"
until I looked up the word 'passive.' I knew what passive means,
but reading some definitions gave me a better understanding of
the construct "passive bullying."

To me "passive bullying" means situations in which a person has
the ability or authority to stop/put an end to other people bullying
the intended victim, but through inaction allows the meanness to
take place.

 

[Judge]

I couldn't make any sense of the concept of "passive bullying"
until I looked up the word 'passive.' I knew what passive means,
but reading some definitions gave me a better understanding of
the construct "passive bullying."

To me "passive bullying" means situations in which a person has
the ability or authority to stop/put an end to other people bullying
the intended victim, but through inaction allows the meanness to
take place.

Surprising to see so many specific definitions of bullying.

Types of bullying

 

[tree]

Surprising to see so many specific definitions of bullying.

Types of bullying

Good link.
If I'd seen that before, I wouldn't have had
to work out a definition for myself.

 

[Judge]

Good link.
If I'd seen that before, I wouldn't have had
to work out a definition for myself.

Hey...it's all news to me ! Your post made me curious to pursue it.

 

[SchrodingersMeerkat]

I was never taken seriously about being bullied because it was always apparently my fault somehow. When I tried to stand up for myself, I was the one who got in trouble or just got told that I was "misinterpreting".

 

[Jordanne Brisby]

I actually came to this place because of passive bullying. A friend of mine used to call me weird, and would point out how strange the things I said regularly were. She eventually got tired of me not picking up on her cues, and told me to change or get lost. I've guess I've experienced this sort of thing a lot, but I just don't think I've noticed it.

I've had a similar experience. One of my "best friends," used to call me all kinds of mean names and push me around. She called me an idiot, a weirdo, a horrible person (Because I appear not to care in my facial expressions, but I can't help that. I don't make expressions.) and other stuff. It took me about 2 years to actually realize she was bullying me. I didn't pick up on it because I thought she was joking and I trusted her. Once I started fighting back, she got more aggressive and made my self-esteem go to an all time low. Thanks to her, my walls are up a whole not more now... :L

 

[onlything]

Wait, wait, wait. I've read all the posts here and I feel like I not understand. What you describe is a typical human behaviour seen everywhere and experienced by everyone. Could you maybe give me a few more examples of the behaviour because I can't seem to catch on what you mean by passive bullying? How can bullying even be passive?

 

[onlything]

The original post has the best explanations that I can think of:

Passive bullying occurs at the hands of those that one trusts, considers to be a friend, etc. It is not cruel, vicious, or brutal, as is typically recognized. The bullying might take on the form of “good natured” ribbing, but the “victim” is clueless as to what or why. Consider the scenario of the victim being “kept around” because of their eccentricities brought on by being on the spectrum. The “Passive Bully” thrives on the “differences” of one on the spectrum.

As noted, it is not cruel or vicious like most bullying. The victim is often the object of the joke even though they're totally clueless. If you've never endured such bullying, then be thankful. The impact on the victim usually comes later when they've had time to consider what took place and they were not enjoying the situation even though it might have seemed "friendly."

I don't want to invalidate anyone's feelings on the topic but it seems to me, as I wrote before, but something everyone experiences. Joking at you and your cost, not with you. I wouldn't call it bullying though. It is... to little, too small, too insignificant? Or it is just my impression after some other things. It's just an inclination I have so maybe if you give me an example of a situation with a dialogue happening I will be able to understand what you mean better.

 

[Aspie_With_Attitude]

I haven't been bullied lately.

I did almost a month ago published a video concerning a young 14 year old girl in Melbourne back in 2006 was set up for a prank video wish resulted in her being forced to perform explicit acts in a public place. Once after the video of them bullying that poor girl was published on DVD since YouTube was unheard of at the time, this DVD was sold on their school grounds and within a few days reported to the police.

After the arrest were made on these bullies who attacked that poor young girl who was autistic, each of those involved making this video was each brought to justice and some of them were charged for sex offence. They thought wrong to exploit a 14 year old autistic female to be featured on a DVD being bullied into stripping in public and to perform explicit act.

Anyway here's that video that I had uploaded in start of June 2020.

 

[Gift2humanity]

My post amounts to passive bullying? Utterly absurd. You're free to disagree, but please try to keep within the bounds of reasonability. As far as avoiding people who don't treat me the way I would like, That amounts to being a hermit. I have to work with several such people 5 days a week. How would you suggest I avoid people with whom I must collaborate in order to earn a living? Some of us work, though it is difficult, and despite the humiliation, conflict, stress and fatigue, are nonetheless grateful that we are able to work. As though I have the option to simply avoid everyone whose attitude toward me displeases me. How is that even possible?

I would say get a job in doing something you like. Put yourself before money. Concentrate on what you enjoy doing regardless of how good you think you are at it, enjoying something means you will become good at it if you persist, no good will come out of working in a corporate environment with people you don't choose to be with. Many people have done this, downsizing and living a more fulfilled life.