Past determining my future

[paloftoon]

Either for not doing more or if I am being punished by destiny because I was mean to my younger brother. The latter thought does make me wonder why my older brother had girlfriends while he constantly terrorized me.

hmm, being mean to your younger brother without reasonable due course is certainly potentially a karma thing.

In terms of can things change for the better- absolutely and always!
Is it easy?- hell no!!!


Do you have to be like your older brother or like anyone in particular? No!

What do you need to help improve your life?
1. Independence- you have your own job, you can drive yourself/get around super well on public transportation, your own place if possible.
2. if you aren't able to have a satisfactory job, work on skills that could help you get a better job. Consider two jobs if you can handle it.
3. Consider expanding what kind of hobbies you're interested in. Maybe volunteering at a shelter, convention, etc. Look for spaces where people in a similar state as you might be more likely to congregate.
4. If college isn't really an option, is tech/trade school?
5. It's okay if school isn't the most feasible option. There are many jobs out there to consider.

 

[Markness]

My older brother has had more relationships than me but he’s also had more break ups, a divorce, and a cancelled marriage.

 

[Markness]

I just don’t want to be in my 60’s before I finally meet that elusive partner (If she exists.) I want to spend my life with.

 

[VictorR]

I just don’t want to be in my 60’s before I finally meet that elusive partner (If she exists.) I want to spend my life with.

So let's say you meet the love of your life when you're in your 60s.

Are you going to

1) Cherish the fact that you met them and can spend the rest of your days with them, or
2) Lament that you spent several decades looking for them

Sometimes, people who end up having an impact (friends, mentors, significant others, acquaintances, colleagues, sometimes even random strangers) in our lives might not have had the same impact had you met them at a different time and place. There is a time and place for everything.

There's lots of things we can't control. But one thing that we can control is how we approach things.

While you lament a lot of things about your life, I can assure you that there are many who would gladly trade to be in your position.

If you'd like to give mindfulness a try, perhaps each day, try to think of and write down one thing that you're grateful for, and then after a month (or when you're feeling down / stuck), take a look at it to remind yourself that there's lots to be thankful and optimistic for.

 

[Uri]

To tell you the truth, I don't even believe humans free will.

I'm starting to believe that determinism makes more sense.

It's like most women won't admit that they "hate" ugly guys but the fact most of them do.

I believe that looks can be a dealbreaker to many women and if you're ugly, poor and nerdy then the odds of attracting a pretty woman work against you.

Determinism is the philosophical view that all events in the universe, including human actions and decisions, are causally inevitable and can occur only in one possible way. This means that if one knew the complete physical state of the universe at any given moment, along with the laws of nature, one could predict all future events.
Yes, determinism can be applied to a person. In this context, it suggests that an individual's thoughts, feelings, choices, and actions are all the result of prior causes—such as genetics, brain chemistry, upbringing, environment, and past experiences.

• Biological influences like genetics can predispose someone to certain traits or behaviors."

Twin studies, adoption studies, and genome-wide association studies (GWAS) have shown that:

• Genetics can account for roughly 40-60% of the variation in many personality traits.
• The remaining variation is influenced by environmental factors, experiences, upbringing, and social context.

I think that the fact is that there is nothing we can do to change anything because is already made up for us.

I would like to believe that humans have some free will but in every day that passes it seems more like wishful thinking to me.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

I think your right, found a clever way in my physics thread to explain determinism.