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People on reddit and other forums can be so mean

There seems to be three main categories of responses to Reddit posts:

1. Positive: "Made me laugh", "Couldn't agree more!", et cetera.
2. Negative: "Made me cry", "I disagree", et cetera.
3. Hostile: "Fake post", "OP is a jerk", "Does not belong in this category", "Does not belong on Reddit", et cetera.

I have to wonder if the same A.I. Bot being used to moderate the subforums on Reddit is also posting hostile/provocative replies just to keep people interested.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
I just recently started using Reddit. I am up late, not feeling well. I found a little community on reddit called herbalism. That's my special interest. I shared my little folk knowledge that I have, with other herbalists, expecting them to collaborate and be friendly like they are here on the forums.

Most folks are super friendly and kind. But there are people on there, who aren't herbalists, who are on there just to start fights. Twice in ten minutes I had two people send me very harsh replies, not even wanting to hear my side. Just wanting to tell me how they believe I am so very wrong. It hurt me.

This has happened at another online forum site. When I was growing out my hair after chemotherapy, I joined a community called "long hair". I listed some natural things that I found helpful in growing my hair, and also soothing my tender scalp. People came down on me really harshly, saying I was wrong and how I was giving dangerous information, even though it wasn't (washing hair on a tender post-chemo scalp with water and diluted baking soda).

It reminds me of school, and also times in the public, where my voice was rejected. The way I talk is the Aspie way. I can't help it. I just want to share what I've found helpful, expecting the other person to do the same. It works that way usually with neurodiverse people. But a lot of Neurotypicals respond to me with cruelty. As if my infodumping and stimming was offensive, bossy, or mean. They think I'm retarded or some know it all. When really, I don't know much at all. I just like to share the things I've learned, with the happy hope that the other person will share with me.

I guess it wouldn't affect me so deeply, but I really have had a lot of health problems lately, that really, really scare me. I've been a burden on my daughter. I'm up late, trying to be friendly with like minded people, and I get yelled at, twice, just for using my voice and sharing info that makes my life easier.

Infodumping is such a part of the Aspie experience. It makes me feel all tingly when someone infodumps to me. I learn. I meditate on the info for days, sometimes years. I use it in my life.

It just hurts, the way neurotypicals think I'm being a know it all, or attacking them. I just want to be friendly. I am so very sensitive. It cuts to my heart when something like this happens.
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I know how much this hurts - my experiences of it are one of the reasons I'm currently dealing with cPTSD. I try and feel sorry for the perpetrators - they must be very sad people with very little real meaning in their lives if they feel the need to bully and hate others. Pathetic, small-minded, judgemental fools - it's hard but I try to choose not to be concerned with their petty nonsense - I tell myself I've got far more important things/people to think about. But it is a work in progress x
 
Cassandra65 said:
I try and feel sorry for the perpetrators - they must be very sad people with very little real meaning in their lives if they feel the need to bully and hate others.
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Don't try too hard. lol

Trolls are dopamine junkies.
They enjoy the emotional power they have over others.
"Don't feed the trolls."
 
Jonn said:
Don't try too hard. lol

Trolls are dopamine junkies.
They enjoy the emotional power they have over others.
"Don't feed the trolls."
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Agree (more or less) on the first two.

But there's a gap in the third, for online spaces that are under attack by a "Dark Triad" individual or group, but are still useful. "Not feeding" means the space will decline. Ditto leaving.

If the mods are part of the problem leaving is best OFC. But mods are constrained too: for example these days (approx. last 10 years) it's very difficult for a mod to deal with toxic members of a "protected group".
Yet they are among the most common "trolls" (not a coincidence /lol).

"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing."

It's incomplete of course (redefining "good" has turned out to be quite effective), but it's true.
 
Yeshuasdaughter said:
It's very very lonesome on there. I try and contribute, but yeah, like I said, I'm just typing empty lonesome words out into the void. No one cares. And that makes the empty inside even worse.
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We care on this forum, we're here for you. Stick with those who nurture you and not those who torture you emotionally x
 
Hypnalis said:
But there's a gap in the third, for online spaces that are under attack by a "Dark Triad" individual or group, but are still useful. "Not feeding" means the space will decline. Ditto leaving.
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I have no problem with trolls leaving.

Hypnalis said:
If the mods are part of the problem leaving is best OFC. But mods are constrained too: for example these days (approx. last 10 years) it's very difficult for a mod to deal with toxic members of a "protected group".
Yet they are among the most common "trolls" (not a coincidence /lol).
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Yes, I have been to a website where the owner provided a list of protected members.
And yes, they could troll with impunity.
They would break the site rules and "smirk" when others were reprimanded or banned for doing the same.

This was a deliberate policy of humiliating and culling "undesirables", imo, I.E., ppl who didn't follow the website narrative.
This was a shocking example of inherent/endemic corruption and still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

This was a purported "support" group, btw. 🤣
 
If you give people an online forum without consequences for bad behaviour then they will behave appallingly. Online interaction removes the humanity required to treat each other well. Online, we are words on a screen. So, it’s important to remember a human being has created those words.
 
DavidJSNSW said:
If you give people an online forum without consequences for bad behaviour then they will behave appallingly. Online interaction removes the humanity required to treat each other well. Online, we are words on a screen. So, it’s important to remember a human being has created those words.
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There a risk of modelling a "bell curve" with a horizontal line here.

Most of the really bad behavior in online spaces (and elsewhere IRL) is by the small minority of people in the Dark Triad, who can be though of as occupying one side of a bell curve measuring "non-clinical anti-social behavior".

Just a percent or two of all humans, but they cause a large proportion of the problems.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bell_Curve
("Normal Distribution" is the real name. It describes the pattern across the population of an amazingly large proportion of "interesting things about people that can be measured".

Think of it as the red line in the first image (the others are very closely related, but not worth discussing here).

Anyway, assuming that "bad behavior in online spaces" is evenly spread across the whole population (one person one infraction) rather than "a small subset, each of whom offends 1000 times" is misleading in important ways. For example it suggests the wrong approach to reduce the problem.

A common reaction is to set stricter rules for everyone, and then annoy everyone by being over-sensitive to small things.

It's more practical to profile the "bad eggs", track them for a while to see if they're repeat offenders, and deal directly and decisively with them (in a forum, one warning, then perma-ban).

Note that this happens IRL too: statistically, this applies to the actual "creeps" that do annoy women.
But the laws get changed to apply to everyone, so the innocent are punished, while the "Dark Triad" don't change their behavior at all - they just get batter at masking it.

So the main effects are to frighten potential victims even more, annoy innocent parties, and train the actual perpetrators in avoidance /lol.
 
Jonn said:
I have no problem with trolls leaving.


Yes, I have been to a website where the owner provided a list of protected members.
And yes, they could troll with impunity.
They would break the site rules and "smirk" when others were reprimanded or banned for doing the same.

This was a deliberate policy of humiliating and culling "undesirables", imo, I.E., ppl who didn't follow the website narrative.
This was a shocking example of inherent/endemic corruption and still leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

This was a purported "support" group, btw. 🤣
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I've seen this too. It seems to be a natural side-effect of "safe spaces".
They seem like such a good idea. And would be if humans weren't involved /lol.

But safe spaces attract extremists and Dark Triad" "agents of chaos" (those two groups get on very well /sigh).
Moderation becomes time-consuming and difficult, so good, unbiased moderators generally leave.

Followed, of course, by everyone outside the safe space(s) except a few contrarian agents of chaos (thy just like the conflict, so they don't care which side they're on, and fighting a flame war from the weaker side is just as entertaining as from the stronger side /lol).

Next step: A Purity Spiral inside the safe space. :)

BTW: if you don't like the chaos yourself, my suggestion is to disengage and leave. You can stay of course, but you can't fix it. :)

The best that can happen to such a space is that it becomes a semi-stable echo chamber. If a Purity Spiral gets going it might as easily implode.
Regardless of the outcome, they inevitably become boring and useless.
 
The guy who bothers me literally spams all over some (abandoned) anxiety forum, makes accounts to tag me on Fandom, subscribes to me on YouTube, and you name it.

I mean, if he wants to waste his life annoying somebody in another country who doesn't care about him, say hi to the block party. Although I could stop posting on forums tomorrow, but the lack of attention would probably upset him. He even lists my user names as I change them, instead of just writing them in a diary offline.
 
DavidJSNSW said:
If you give people an online forum without consequences for bad behaviour then they will behave appallingly. Online interaction removes the humanity required to treat each other well.
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Anonymity is a major factor responsible for bad online behaviour, IMO.
Few ppl would behave as badly if they were engaging in face-to-face discourse, surely.

Once again, power plays are involved, fuelled by dopamine hits when trolls/bullies get an emotional response they want.
Hence, "Don't feed the trolls".

I have seen mild-mannered ppl who have previously felt powerless transform into bullies themselves after being given positions of power.
"Power corrupts..."
Never a truer word has been said. :cool:

Even Frodo was ultimately seduced by "The One Ring".
Thankfully, Gollum bit off Frodo's finger and fell into the larva pool of Mout Doom in Mordor, taking the ring with him.

Had this not been the case, we would not be sitting here.
Humanity would have been exterminated!
Never underestimate the seduction of power! :eek:
 
Once these gaming events are finished, I will only be posting on forums occasionally, and until the end of the summer.

I'd been hoping to move to a different accommodation, but the housing situation where I am is deplorable.

Even so, I lost interest in talking about things like Resident Evil. Most people with half a brain knows that popular media gets churned out for merely the dosh to be made. So constantly mentioning it is kind of pointless, since one has no control over this kind of thing.
 
This forum is the closest to social media I get these days. I've dumped Facebook, never tried Reddit, and Twitter seems like a complete cesspit.
 
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