Question if it normal for me to have inappropriate anger as a 23-year-old

[Oz67]

Is it normal for me to have inappropriate anger as a young adult?

I am 23 years old and I feel so embarrassed, because I behave like an older teenager and worse is I behave even more childish, due to mental health issues and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

 

[Xinyta]

You have this anger, most likely, because of internal unresolved issues. Autism has nothing to do with that. Though it can exacerbate things.

Your own mental health influences alot, if not most everything, of what you do and how you funtion. The brain is a complex organic computer, after all. But no one understand you, better than you. And that's where things like this come into play.

Yes. Help to get you to come to terms, is nessissary. Unless you have an insane amount of will to drag yourself out of the dark pit entirely on your own. Most of the earth's population cannot do that though, without help. I'm no different. Nor is anyone here.

Though one thing you can do is look to those who have made the journey and learn, as they have learned. Thier path to freedom and clarity will obviously different from your's. But those kinda people are good role models.

This all takes time. So don't be hard on yourself. But don't give up either. Because the darkest comes before the dawn.

You will have to go through hell, to come out the other side. And you will be far better than you were, when you fell in.

But yes. This anger is normal. And it can be overcome.

 

[Oz67]

You have this anger, most likely, because of internal unresolved issues. Autism has nothing to do with that. Though it can exacerbate things.

Your own mental health influences alot, if not most everything, of what you do and how you funtion. The brain is a complex organic computer, after all. But no one understand you, better than you. And that's where things like this come into play.

Yes. Help to get you to come to terms, is nessissary. Unless you have an insane amount of will to drag yourself out of the dark pit entirely on your own. Most of the earth's population cannot do that though, without help. I'm no different. Nor is anyone here.

Though one thing you can do is look to those who have made the journey and learn, as they have learned. Thier path to freedom and clarity will obviously different from your's. But those kinda people are good role models.

This all takes time. So don't be hard on yourself. But don't give up either. Because the darkest comes before the dawn.

You will have to go through hell, to come out the other side. And you will be far better than you were, when you fell in.

But yes. This anger is normal. And it can be overcome.

I know, my inappropriate anger has nothing to do with ASD, although me behaving kind of childish is related to ASD and developmental delay. I made two completely different topics at the same time, I am sorry for that confusion

 

[mysterionz]

Anger can be common alongside mood swings in AuDHD individuals. I’m on a mood stabilizer to control my anger outbursts. Is your anger becoming a distraction/problem for you in your everyday life OP? You may benefit from therapy if you’re open to it (coming from someone that is starting therapy for the first time today)

 

[Xinyta]

I know, my inappropriate anger has nothing to do with ASD, although me behaving kind of childish is related to ASD and developmental delay. I made two completely different topics at the same time, I am sorry for that confusion

Let's stop calling it inappropriate anger. It's not. It's anger that's deep seeded, and unresolved.

I have a similar problem. And I am going to address it with my psychologist today. But I know what you are talking about. And it's very hard to deal with. But you can beat it.

You don't have to appologize. I know what you were trying to say. And even acknowledged that Autism can play a role in how we psychologically respond.

You have this anger, most likely, because of internal unresolved issues. Autism has nothing to do with that. Though it can exacerbate things.

Though I do have a issue with wording things in a clear and concise way, alot of times. So I don't blame you for being feeling like I misunderstood.

 

[Wolfnox]

You’re human so yeah. It happens.

 

[Oz67]

Let's stop calling it inappropriate anger. It's not. It's anger that's deep seeded, and unresolved.

I have a similar problem. And I am going to address it with my psychologist today. But I know what you are talking about. And it's very hard to deal with. But you can beat it.

You don't have to appologize. I know what you were trying to say. And even acknowledged that Autism can play a role in how we psychologically respond.



Though I do have a issue with wording things in a clear and concise way, alot of times. So I don't blame you for being feeling like I misunderstood.

I understand, thanks

 

[jsilver256]

I would say that it is impossible to decide what is "normal" without observing the anger up front. But you are still very young, and you are struggling with multiple disorders. You should give yourself grace.

I don't have any less emotional swings as an adult twice your age. I just have more knowledge and context on these emotional swings. For example, I intellectually now know that a meltdown is due to sensory overload, and not because my world is ending.

 

[Oz67]

I would say that it is impossible to decide what is "normal" without observing the anger up front. But you are still very young, and you are struggling with multiple disorders. You should give yourself grace.

I don't have any less emotional swings as an adult twice your age. I just have more knowledge and context on these emotional swings. For example, I intellectually now know that a meltdown is due to sensory overload, and not because my world is ending.

That makes sense. To me, I feel like the world is ending when I am transitioning from one environment to another.

 

[marc_101]

Do people close to you think that anger is a problem? Have gotten in legal problem or problems in school? Does it cause you discomfort?

Maybe those are better ways evaluating the issue.

 

[Oz67]

Do people close to you think that anger is a problem? Have gotten in legal problem or problems in school? Does it cause you discomfort?

Maybe those are better ways evaluating the issue.

Yes, mostly my ex-girlfriend with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

My parents, not so much, they resolve their issues.

 

[Oz67]

Anger can be common alongside mood swings in AuDHD individuals. I’m on a mood stabilizer to control my anger outbursts. Is your anger becoming a distraction/problem for you in your everyday life OP? You may benefit from therapy if you’re open to it (coming from someone that is starting therapy for the first time today)

Also Bipolar as well.

 

[marc_101]

Yes, mostly my ex-girlfriend with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

My parents, not so much, they resolve their issues.

The former girlfriend doesn't seem to be a reliable informant.

You're always so polite on this forum... I'd trust your parents.

 

[Oz67]

The former girlfriend doesn't seem to be a reliable informant.

You're always so polite ion this forum... I'd trust your parents.

Thanks

 

[Hypnalis]

Yes, mostly my ex-girlfriend with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Narcs are not capable of telling the truth, except by mistake. You should forget and/or discount absolutely everything she said to you, including every criticism.

That's not a joke BTW. But it has to be qualified.

Some of what she said, (if it served her purpose) may have been true. But even she probably didn't know what was true an what wasn't. Clearly it's pointless to treat what she said as guidance. But it does no harm to check, and will probably help you resolve some "mental knots".

Everyone (literally) "spins" everything they say to make themselves look better to others (there's science for this).
This isn't a bad thing in general, and it certainly doesn't mean everyone is lying all the time. The point is that there's a "permanently on" mechanism for it.

My currently theory of people like "real" Narcs (i.e. including the Dark Triad, and people who learned narcissistic behaviors as children) is that they corrupt that mechanism to do more than just positively spin everything. They create and "sell" delusions to themselves and others.
I might be wrong about the mechanism of course, but the delusions and lies are real.

So in effect they don't believe in truth at all. Objective truth is replaced with a completely self-centered "whatever they can get away with" approach to everything, including their getting what they want from everyone in their lives.

I think you should still be careful about anger. it's very important to be able to regulate it (**), and to control your actions when you're angry. Uncontrolled anger, and intemperate actions due to anger, scare people.

(**) Anger is rarely desirable, but it's natural. I doubt is can be completely turned off. But you can always "walk away" rather than say or do stupid things.

If you have any concerns, do that. It's my "go to" for anger, and every time I don't disengage and wait it out, I always wish I had.

 

[Oz67]

Narcs are not capable of telling the truth, except by mistake. You should forget and/or discount absolutely everything she said to you, including every criticism.

That's not a joke BTW. But it has to be qualified.

Some of what she said, (if it served her purpose) may have been true. But even she probably didn't know what was true an what wasn't. Clearly it's pointless to treat what she said as guidance. But it does no harm to check, and will probably help you resolve some "mental knots".

Everyone (literally) "spins" everything they say to make themselves look better to others (there's science for this).
This isn't a bad thing in general, and it certainly doesn't mean everyone is lying all the time. The point is that there's a "permanently on" mechanism for it.

My currently theory of people like "real" Narcs (i.e. including the Dark Triad, and people who learned narcissistic behaviors as children) is that they corrupt that mechanism to do more than just positively spin everything. They create and "sell" delusions to themselves and others.
I might be wrong about the mechanism of course, but the delusions and lies are real.

So in effect they don't believe in truth at all. Objective truth is replaced with a completely self-centered "whatever they can get away with" approach to everything, including their getting what they want from everyone in their lives.

I think you should still be careful about anger. it's very important to be able to regulate it (**), and to control your actions when you're angry. Uncontrolled anger, and intemperate actions due to anger, scare people.

(**) Anger is rarely desirable, but it's natural. I doubt is can be completely turned off. But you can always "walk away" rather than say or do stupid things.

If you have any concerns, do that. It's my "go to" for anger, and every time I don't disengage and wait it out, I always wish I had.

I felt so free from her after I blocked her. I was acting as her slave, pretending to be like a therapist by trying to teach her that harming her father makes things worse, even if she said her father was abusive in the past, her wanting to harm her father is a crime in itself and it makes things worse. tried to help her, but she showed her true personality after three months of dating each other.

I should have just kept her blocked, I should have listened to my parents and also my friend's advice not to engage with her.

I feel so foolish, I am sorry

 

[jsilver256]

To me, I feel like the world is ending when I am transitioning from one environment to another.

It gets easier to gain perspective after you've survived the end of the world, oh, about a thousand times.

 

[Streetwise]

Is it normal for me to have inappropriate anger as a young adult?

I am 23 years old and I feel so embarrassed, because I behave like an older teenager and worse is I behave even more childish, due to mental health issues and Autism Spectrum Disorder.

Normal is again very individual, just remember the consequences of anger can sometimes! have legal\criminal law consequences, i'm STILL trying to grasp don't sin in your anger

 

[Judge]

"Normal- and "inappropriate". Standards that lack any real definition. Might be better to just back away from such thoughts short of precipitating an imminent, lawless act.

 

[Oz67]

Normal is again very individual, just remember the consequences of anger can sometimes! have legal\criminal law consequences, i'm STILL trying to grasp don't sin in your anger

I definitely agree, that is why I go to therapy and support groups.