Have you asked him why he's been like this.... Does a conversation with you and him ever work out?
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Rants thread!
- Thread starter superboyian
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Ian, he tells me to stop fighting with him when I try that. I can't disagree with him about anything, because no matter how civil and nice I am about it, he will still tell me to stop fighting with him, and not answer my question, even if it's a yes or no question that (even if it requires further explanation) takes less effort than trying to explain why he doesn't want ot fight and how and why he thinks I'm trying to fight.
Furthermore, he just told me last night "Everybody knows your judgment is often skewed. Yopu know that, right?" and yes, I did ask him who "everybody" was, and I never got an answer. That's the last straw for me. Last night when I read that, and this morning too, I felt like hurting myself to get even with him for saying that, which ia really a terrible thing for him to say. Basically, he's saying everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt, my opinion or belief is not to be trusted, etc. And it got to me so deeply because one of the things I value most in the world is someone trustiong me to do more than just eating or sleeping or blinking or whatever. I really, so badly want someone to trust me with something important. Have for many, many years. And he turns around and says this to me. He trusted me with stuff before. But now, I assume, hje thinks he knows better now. My parents are both unsympathetic about this though sometimes my mother is sort of sympathetic. I keep forgetting I can tell my friends and reasoning they don't really care anyway. The mental institution is looking pretty damn good right now. And that's scary, beause someone told me her sister was in that institution and they treated her like "absolute garbage" and drove her to smash her fist thru a glass window (like McMurphy).
Furthermore, he just told me last night "Everybody knows your judgment is often skewed. Yopu know that, right?" and yes, I did ask him who "everybody" was, and I never got an answer. That's the last straw for me. Last night when I read that, and this morning too, I felt like hurting myself to get even with him for saying that, which ia really a terrible thing for him to say. Basically, he's saying everything I say should be taken with a grain of salt, my opinion or belief is not to be trusted, etc. And it got to me so deeply because one of the things I value most in the world is someone trustiong me to do more than just eating or sleeping or blinking or whatever. I really, so badly want someone to trust me with something important. Have for many, many years. And he turns around and says this to me. He trusted me with stuff before. But now, I assume, hje thinks he knows better now. My parents are both unsympathetic about this though sometimes my mother is sort of sympathetic. I keep forgetting I can tell my friends and reasoning they don't really care anyway. The mental institution is looking pretty damn good right now. And that's scary, beause someone told me her sister was in that institution and they treated her like "absolute garbage" and drove her to smash her fist thru a glass window (like McMurphy).
Julia, don't you ever think we're annoyed or not going to listen to you. For sal;l we know, that that you mentioned means just as much to you as what I talked about meant to me.
I just checked my emails and PMs here and I got nothing from anyone and it's all my fault of course, because I'm unlikeable and unlovable.
I just checked my emails and PMs here and I got nothing from anyone and it's all my fault of course, because I'm unlikeable and unlovable.
I actually have to disagree with what you said there... I'm definitely sure that you have fans and people who admire you.
Have you ever tried to PM anyone on here?
Kit
Well-Known Member
We talk in PM. If I don't respond to your last PM, it's because I either had nothing else to say or I was put off. But I try and understand your views on bullies and you aren't actually thinking it's okay for them to do it.
Me too! 
And sometimes Stan is like that too and I'm so sorry I don't appreciate him a lot more. And he still believes and is sad that (based on his false belief) that Lars isn't my whole life like he is his. Maybe in a way he's right. I wonder if I'm capable of self sacrifice. I wonder that every damn day.
And sometimes Stan is like that too and I'm so sorry I don't appreciate him a lot more. And he still believes and is sad that (based on his false belief) that Lars isn't my whole life like he is his. Maybe in a way he's right. I wonder if I'm capable of self sacrifice. I wonder that every damn day.
I wish I didn't feel guilty. I know that people who want others to feel guilty are assholes, but I forget that if I choose to feel guilty that's bad too. Or I can't control it, or something.
I love them but I must have lost some potential love from them.
How am I ever going to earn back his trust?
How long will it take? Years?
I forget the good things he did for me. He told me twice that overall, he believes I am a good person. He tried to be very nice instead of mean when I was thinking/feeling/talking/acting like **** and he thought I should be in a mental hospital... he also told me many times that he still loves me. He told me that he does not believe I'm bad. Three times he told me he does not believe I'm insane. He has, however, agreed with me that I was nuts, or rather, said I was when I asked him if he thought I was nuts. I forget all he did for me too. I forget that he would spontaneously tell me he loved me. I forget that he smiled at me many times in his special sweet way. I forget that he took for granted that I wanted and loved little Lars even months before he was born. And I did love him, but I was too messed up or too doped up or whatever to think a lot about him sometimes. I forget how he told his own guilty stories to make me feel better about doing something bad or failing to do something good. I forget that when I was falsely imprisoned in a mental hospital and lied about (lies about bad things I was like when I was not), to my detriment) by a psychiatrist that should never ahve become a psychiatrist, he talked to lawyers and researched on the internet to find a way to get me out of there. I forget that he went to the mental hospital to visit me every day, sometimes bringing dinner from a restaurant. I forget that he just didn't believe I would not look after Lars due to my depression or whatever it was. I failed him there. I forget that he drove all the way across the country for 2 days without sleeping to pick me up and sneak me across the border. I forget everything else too. Oh yes, he would bring dinner in to the bedroom because he knew I wasn't getting up to eat it elsewhere. He would see me in bed in the middle of the day and instead of giving me a dirty look or dragging em out of bed, he said "Get some rest." Oh yes, and of course he cleaned up my puke I think twice (and assured me that it was okay because I had been on my way to the bathroom when I threw up, rather than like my friend who was stoned and vomiting on the floor wherever he was).
I love them but I must have lost some potential love from them.
How am I ever going to earn back his trust?
How long will it take? Years?
I forget the good things he did for me. He told me twice that overall, he believes I am a good person. He tried to be very nice instead of mean when I was thinking/feeling/talking/acting like **** and he thought I should be in a mental hospital... he also told me many times that he still loves me. He told me that he does not believe I'm bad. Three times he told me he does not believe I'm insane. He has, however, agreed with me that I was nuts, or rather, said I was when I asked him if he thought I was nuts. I forget all he did for me too. I forget that he would spontaneously tell me he loved me. I forget that he smiled at me many times in his special sweet way. I forget that he took for granted that I wanted and loved little Lars even months before he was born. And I did love him, but I was too messed up or too doped up or whatever to think a lot about him sometimes. I forget how he told his own guilty stories to make me feel better about doing something bad or failing to do something good. I forget that when I was falsely imprisoned in a mental hospital and lied about (lies about bad things I was like when I was not), to my detriment) by a psychiatrist that should never ahve become a psychiatrist, he talked to lawyers and researched on the internet to find a way to get me out of there. I forget that he went to the mental hospital to visit me every day, sometimes bringing dinner from a restaurant. I forget that he just didn't believe I would not look after Lars due to my depression or whatever it was. I failed him there. I forget that he drove all the way across the country for 2 days without sleeping to pick me up and sneak me across the border. I forget everything else too. Oh yes, he would bring dinner in to the bedroom because he knew I wasn't getting up to eat it elsewhere. He would see me in bed in the middle of the day and instead of giving me a dirty look or dragging em out of bed, he said "Get some rest." Oh yes, and of course he cleaned up my puke I think twice (and assured me that it was okay because I had been on my way to the bathroom when I threw up, rather than like my friend who was stoned and vomiting on the floor wherever he was).
poodlepiglet
Well-Known Member
I need to rant, sorry to cut in.
I am so fed up of hearing about my sister in law and her problems! I am so fed up about hearing about how good she is at this and that. (but really I guess I just wish I had received the same support and encouragement from my parents) sure. But I hate having to hear about her, she is spoiled. I can't stand her. And yet I have to hear about it from her parents. When they start, I just want to go away, I will say, mmm,to everything and then just go away, it makes me so angry. They know I have had a much more tiring existence yet I have to hear about how tired she is, nobody ever gave me encouragement, yet I must listen to how good she is at everything. It makes me want to swallow some pills, I know I will not, so no need for concern, I love my kids too much to die, but it makes me think about it and joke about it. I wish they just could show some consideration, and not tell me about her. I have already once directly told them, I am much more tired then their daughter please do not tell me about how tired she is, with all the support she gets and her one little kid. But they do not seem to remember, I still hear how tired she is.
Yet I pathetically wish they would notice MY artwork, but instead they will just tell me how good she is at everything. I guess this is also because I have no parents who would rave on about MY artwork. But if they only could shut up about her I'd be happy.
Pathetic, sure.
I am so fed up of hearing about my sister in law and her problems! I am so fed up about hearing about how good she is at this and that. (but really I guess I just wish I had received the same support and encouragement from my parents) sure. But I hate having to hear about her, she is spoiled. I can't stand her. And yet I have to hear about it from her parents. When they start, I just want to go away, I will say, mmm,to everything and then just go away, it makes me so angry. They know I have had a much more tiring existence yet I have to hear about how tired she is, nobody ever gave me encouragement, yet I must listen to how good she is at everything. It makes me want to swallow some pills, I know I will not, so no need for concern, I love my kids too much to die, but it makes me think about it and joke about it. I wish they just could show some consideration, and not tell me about her. I have already once directly told them, I am much more tired then their daughter please do not tell me about how tired she is, with all the support she gets and her one little kid. But they do not seem to remember, I still hear how tired she is.
Yet I pathetically wish they would notice MY artwork, but instead they will just tell me how good she is at everything. I guess this is also because I have no parents who would rave on about MY artwork. But if they only could shut up about her I'd be happy.
Pathetic, sure.
He said I was so good with the baby, he said I was talented at mothering, he said randomly and spontaneously that he loved me, he said he knew I never lied, he said it's not in my nature to lie, he said he thought I was great, he said I would be a good mom, that I was a good mom, that he loved both me and Lars, that I was cute, that he thought I was smart and that when I wasn't psychotic I could think very well (hmmmm...), that he thought I was generally a good person, that he did not think that overall I was a bad person, that he always would love me, that yes he did like me, that he was very impressed by my WP posts, that he did not think I was retarded, that he did not think I was insane, that he wanted to start a family with me, that he wanted me to be part of his family, that he was ready to marry me.
How come I forget all this routinely? Where did I go wrong?
If this community (including WP and AFF) finds out I'm dead they'll be saying nice things about me, but I won't be around to listen to them.
They'll probably all be saying "She actually DIED? I thought she was bluffing! I thought she loved herself too much to kill herself! She must have been killed by someone else!"
They'll probably be saying, "At least she can't annoy us anymore. It was for the best."
They'll probably be saying "How selfish! She has a kid and she killed herself!?" (And that, at least, will be true.)
They'll probably be saying, "I have no sympathy. She was given plenty of chances on WP and still didn't follow the rules, so then she was banned. Stupid crazy *****. She probably wasn't even thinking about her kid or her man. She was thinking about being banned from WP." (This would be FALSE!)
They'll probably be saying, "Ding dong the ***** is dead."
How come I forget all this routinely? Where did I go wrong?
If this community (including WP and AFF) finds out I'm dead they'll be saying nice things about me, but I won't be around to listen to them.
They'll probably all be saying "She actually DIED? I thought she was bluffing! I thought she loved herself too much to kill herself! She must have been killed by someone else!"
They'll probably be saying, "At least she can't annoy us anymore. It was for the best."
They'll probably be saying "How selfish! She has a kid and she killed herself!?" (And that, at least, will be true.)
They'll probably be saying, "I have no sympathy. She was given plenty of chances on WP and still didn't follow the rules, so then she was banned. Stupid crazy *****. She probably wasn't even thinking about her kid or her man. She was thinking about being banned from WP." (This would be FALSE!)
They'll probably be saying, "Ding dong the ***** is dead."
Kit
Well-Known Member
The ***** got unbanned and I left the forum once again. I can't be there if she is there. What she says is a joke. "The nicest place" and she called that place ****ed up and a joke. Now she says it's the nicest place? OMG.
I just can't be there without getting all riled up when I see her posts and I would love to hit the ignore button if they had one. God can't she just leave me in peace? I was there first. I know she has every right to be on any forum but god she said she was done with the forums and she comes anyway.
She better not come here but even if she does, thank god for the ignore option.
I just can't be there without getting all riled up when I see her posts and I would love to hit the ignore button if they had one. God can't she just leave me in peace? I was there first. I know she has every right to be on any forum but god she said she was done with the forums and she comes anyway.
She better not come here but even if she does, thank god for the ignore option.
Who is it? I'm just thanking God it's not me! (LOL!)
My poor Stan. I wish I could be nice to him no matter what he calls me or says to me. I wish he would stand up for me again like he used to; that he loved me like he loved Lars. I msis all that and he'll probably say I don't deserve it.
Why do I even post on here? Nobody listens. Nobody gives a crap. They probably all think I'm annoying. Well, anyone who thinks I'm annoying can go and be annoyed somewhere else.
My poor Stan. I wish I could be nice to him no matter what he calls me or says to me. I wish he would stand up for me again like he used to; that he loved me like he loved Lars. I msis all that and he'll probably say I don't deserve it.
Why do I even post on here? Nobody listens. Nobody gives a crap. They probably all think I'm annoying. Well, anyone who thinks I'm annoying can go and be annoyed somewhere else.
Kit
Well-Known Member
Your friend Meadow. I'm sorry but she just pisses me off. I don't know if I shall stay and not let her defeat me or leave and that means I let her get to me. But I can't be there without getting all riled up inside. I can't decide.
I would feel so much better if she said she was wrong about me and took back everything she said and then we be cool but unfortunately the things I said to her I meant it. But she better mean it and genuinely think it if she does ever say it to me. I don't want empty words meaning she just says it so I feel better and move on but yet she still thinks what she thinks of me. I doubt that will ever happen. She is too loony.
I'm just confused right now.
I would feel so much better if she said she was wrong about me and took back everything she said and then we be cool but unfortunately the things I said to her I meant it. But she better mean it and genuinely think it if she does ever say it to me. I don't want empty words meaning she just says it so I feel better and move on but yet she still thinks what she thinks of me. I doubt that will ever happen. She is too loony.
I'm just confused right now.
@League Girl - To be honest with you, if that was me, I'd just not bother with her if she's putting you to a level where she is stressing you out, I wouldn't bother to scoop to that level, would just be alot simplier if you just completely ignore her, meaning not replying to her emails and PM's, not worth getting wound up of her.
She be the one who would lose out for freaking and taking out on others just over an avatar issue, she could of just asked.
Oh dear. :lol:
Oh yes my rant of today is, I've survived without my laptop for about 2 days now and for far, been annoying and not only that, my thing just keeps overheating, awww man.
I guess I have to wait and save up.
She be the one who would lose out for freaking and taking out on others just over an avatar issue, she could of just asked.
Oh dear.
:lol:Oh yes my rant of today is, I've survived without my laptop for about 2 days now and for far, been annoying and not only that, my thing just keeps overheating, awww man.
I guess I have to wait and save up.
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