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Reasons why I don't get why I was diagnosed with Asperger's as a child

Misty Avich said:
Well it wasn't officially changed on my medical records, it still says Asperger's syndrome and everyone who was told still sees me as that label. But when I discussed this with a therapist, and a doctor, they said something about my condition being BAP now, according to the latest DSMV-5 or whatever it's called. But then I read somewhere else that BAP only applies to NT siblings of autistic siblings or something.

This is why I'm all confused. It's all confusing.
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Yeah, it certainly is confusing. I think that's largely because professionals don't fully understand what's going on. So with that in mind I don't think examining the minutiae of your diagnosis is going to give you more information. It could well be that the diagnosing doctor got it wrong. When we were first looking to see what was up with my youngest the paediatrician basically diagnosed him as ADHD within minutes and was already telling us we'd need to have him on meds pronto. He's about as typically ASD as you can get, but once the idea that "disruptive boy = ADHD" was in the doc's head it was difficult to disabuse him of it.

Cutting to the chase what matters is how you feel your current diagnosis is helping you. It sounds like the BAP is something current professionals feel more appropriately describes your behaviours. If you agree then I would leave it as that and not worry about the past.
 
Misty Avich said:
Well I'm sure you know who I am, if you don't, I'm Joe (from former site). In that post you wrote here about a week ago that got deleted was lies. You hate my guts.
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I've literally only interacted with you here, but OK. :/
 
Nitro said:
Time to back it down a few notches
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Sorry Nitro, I'm leaving the thread alone. I didn't mean to provoke him, but I just don't like when people lie about me especially if I've never really interacted with them. :/
 
MNAus said:
Yeah, it certainly is confusing. I think that's largely because professionals don't fully understand what's going on. So with that in mind I don't think examining the minutiae of your diagnosis is going to give you more information. It could well be that the diagnosing doctor got it wrong. When we were first looking to see what was up with my youngest the paediatrician basically diagnosed him as ADHD within minutes and was already telling us we'd need to have him on meds pronto. He's about as typically ASD as you can get, but once the idea that "disruptive boy = ADHD" was in the doc's head it was difficult to disabuse him of it.

Cutting to the chase what matters is how you feel your current diagnosis is helping you. It sounds like the BAP is something current professionals feel more appropriately describes your behaviours. If you agree then I would leave it as that and not worry about the past.
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I know.
I was opposite from your son, I wasn't diagnosed with ADHD in childhood because I wasn't a disruptive boy. I was a shy, anxious girl. But I think in the 20th century ADHD was known as a personality type instead of a disorder. Nowadays that personality type would more likely be called extrovert or maybe disturbed child if the behaviour is antisocially disruptive. ADHD is a disorder so if you met one person with ADHD you met one person with ADHD.
 
Based on my lovely friend's daughter, who has ADHD, I would say that is what you have. Ok, I am not a professional; however, it has been proved that they make huge mistakes in diagnostics.

My friend asked for her daughter to be evaluated for ASD, but was told there was no need to, because she chearly has ADHD, which pretty much sums up what you wrote about yourself.

There definitely are similarities, which is why we are all neurodiverse. My friend is not an aspie, but she is also not completely neurotypical either. Hence the reason why we get on so well.

I have been an outcast all my life and trying hard to just accept it.

When I was a child, a therapist patted my head and said: there, there. She will grow out of it. She is just painfully shy. Huh, did not grow out of it and not painfully shy!
 
Misty Avich said:
1. Although I was as articulate as my peers as a child (with no speech delays), I wasn't a "little professor"

2. I didn't have special interests until age 11 (and even then they were obsessions with people, not exactly special interests)

3. I didn't obsess or hyperfocus on the interests I did have

4. I was interested in my peers from as young as age 2 (and probably before but 2 was when I was first at nursery with other children)

5. I never stacked or lined toys, I just played with them, using imagination and role play

6. I wasn't very good with constructive toys such as Lego, I preferred playing with the little Lego men using Lego objects built by my older brother

7. I made normal eye contact from around birth (my parents remember I made eye contact as a baby and I know I did as a child)

8. Although I was a very anxious child, I didn't flap my hands or rock

9. I was very expressive, if I was anxious then I'd cry and need an adult to hug me

10. I was scared of a lot of things but not for sensory reasons

11. The only sensory-related things I was scared of was anything that could make sudden loud noises, such as fireworks, dogs, balloons and bells. When I was little I might have cried at a sudden loud noise, when I got older I would just whine and startle (as in jump nervously). I was avoidant of sudden loud noises, but I didn't mind continuous loud noise

12. Though I was shy, I still enjoyed birthday parties once I was there, and would naturally join in party games and other activities

13. I was very chatty and could hold a conversation with both children and adults, talking about anything (not just one special subject, which I didn't have anyway)

14. I could engage in imaginative play with other children, although I sometimes took my games very seriously and get stressed if others didnt follow the rules, but if the game wasn't invented by me then I was happy to go along with their rules

15. Socialising seemed easy and fun to me, even though I could sometimes be hard work, like I'd cry if I had to go last on the swing because I felt kids making me go last meant I was inferior to them or something, or I'd cry if I lost a board game and even hit the child who won (not hard or violently, as I wasn't a violent or aggressive child, I could just be impulsive)

16. I hated being alone. Each weekend or school holiday day I would ask my parents what we were doing that day, and if the day didn't involve me seeing another child (that wasn't my siblings) then I'd put it down to a "I did nothing" day, even if I had engaged in indoor activities with my parents and siblings. Sometimes I'd demand and cry for my mum to phone a friend or relative with children just to give me another child to play with (again who wasn't my siblings, as for some reason they didn't count)

17. I didn't mind change, in fact I loved surprises. The only change I didn't like was if it involved disappointment, like if I was excited about something only for it to be cancelled, particularly at the last minute. I understand this is common in children, but I guess I took disappointment a step too far and would throw a tantrum, even at age 13

18. I seemed very people-orientated

19. I didn't seem "socially exhausted" after school, I seemed quite willing to go out and play with other children or my cousins after school and not want to go to bed at night because I didn't want to be alone

However I seemed more Aspie when I was an adolescent (even though I was diagnosed before adolescence), for the following reasons:-

1. I was lonely

2. I was mentally a few years behind my age

3. I got obsessions with particular people (such as certain school teachers, neighbours, etc), that made my grades slip and probably caused a lot of my friendships to fail. At that age (around 11-14) I seemed unsure of my gender and sexuality (although I was a girl obviously, I knew that, but I felt like a boy inwardly, and even though naturally I'm straight I used to get very obsessed with female teachers, and the homophobes in my class would call me a lesbian and not want to talk to me)

4. I had a lot of child-like tendencies, such as clinging to my mother at social events instead of going off with my peers, and crying at stupid trivial things, and being a bit embarrassing in public

5. I didn't miss nonverbal social cues but I did often make the wrong choices, like I'd be clingy to certain girls I knew didn't want to hang around with me but would reject girls who did show friendship interest in me, even though I could see all the signs but I just made the wrong choice of friends, maybe due to lack of self-confidence. So my social isolation was partially my fault

6. I couldn't cope with PE lessons because I hated team games, as I never understood the rules of the games so I'd often mess up and the other girls would yell at me

7. I had an odd gait and often attracted bullies, particularly when I was walking home from school, due to my "weak and pathetic" body language

8. I often had to sit alone on the bus or in class, even though I didn't want to

9. I confided most of my problems and feelings in my school support worker like you would a best friend

10. I failed stupidly when trying to be cool, for example when I was 15-16 I tried to be cool and confident in PE but was unaware that wearing shorts with unshaved legs wasn't cool for girls so that probably ruined my chances of being cool or popular

11. Speaking of popular, I was frighteningly unpopular

12. For some reason I just couldn't fit in with any cliques, even when I befriended the other outcasts I got shunned and excluded and bullied. I was a misfit

14. I temporarily became quite disconnected from my emotions - only when aged 13-14 on and off, but before then and after then I've always strongly been emotional and in touch with all emotions


I'd understand if I had been diagnosed at like age 16, given the details of my teenage self, but being diagnosed at age 8 with that profile in babyhood and childhood? It just doesn't add up. I showed more symptoms of a highly sensitive child and ADHD, yet they ignored those and diagnosed me with an ASD. And now that some genius has taken Asperger's/PDD-NOS out of autism and all ASDs now are just autism, I feel like I'm autistic even LESS. I'm so confused about it.
Does my profile sound typically autistic-like to you? I know all that, because I have a good memory of my childhood, and my parents remember a lot of how I was.
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I am “autistic and ADHD”. You sound a bit like me.

I do not look like I am autistic. I really am on the spectrum though… it is a “spectrum”

I never had the problems getting a girlfriend even… just was clueless when I had them :)
 
Ursus Chainus said:
I am “autistic and ADHD”. You sound a bit like me.

I do not look like I am autistic. I really am on the spectrum though… it is a “spectrum”

I never had the problems getting a girlfriend even… just was clueless when I had them :)
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I've never had problems getting a date either, but for some reason I suck at making friends with my same-age NT peers. I've mostly dated NTs, and my husband is NT. When I first met him I seemed to know all the signs and what to do, it felt natural, and the relationship has never been complicated or rocky or anything. We're happily married, 9 years later. I think maybe it's because dating and marriage is similar to a family sort of thing, and I grew up in a secure, supporting, loving family. Friendships seem to have different, more complicated, rules that I fail at following. Or maybe NT women are just hard to make friends with or date, being so most of my friends are guys and I've never found it hard to attract a date but I have never been taken advantage of either. I've had a few boyfriends before I met my husband, but I'm the one who dumped them (not saying that proudly, but I felt it was the right thing rather than stringing them along and pretending). I dumped them in the most tactful way, although they didn't take it very well, which I can understand.
I could say that I have never actually been dumped before, but I have been rejected and treated badly by females who were supposed to be my friends. I guess past experiences make up who you are today.
 
Hylian said:
@Misty Avich

I just said that I didn't understand why people who don't "identify" as autistic want to be on forums for autistic people and that it made me personally uncomfortable, and this is honestly why. I never said anything about the whether you should actually be on here or not. I also don't have a grudge against you and I've barely interacted with you, but OK, lie about a stranger I guess?
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I'm NT and have been a participating member here for at least seven years. I first came here to learn about autism as I have some family members who are diagnosed. I stay here because I like the people here. I don't care about what diagnostic labels have been applied to people. If I like someone, then I like them. End of story.
 
Mary Terry said:
I'm NT and have been a participating member here for at least seven years. I first came here to learn about autism as I have some family members who are diagnosed. I stay here because I like the people here. I don't care about what diagnostic labels have been applied to people. If I like someone, then I like them. End of story.
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I just hate when people ask why I'm posting on an autism site if I don't have autism. It's not really a black and white thing, it's me questioning my diagnosis because as I've gotten older I often feel like I was misdiagnosed. I'm just confused a lot of the time. I get muddled up with BAP and PDD-NOS, as I thought they were the same thing.
 
I don't think there should be anything wrong with me questioning my diagnosis though. My anxiety, difficulties forming friendships with most NTs, and sensory issues with loud noises, is apparently enough to keep my diagnosis, according to doctors. But despite all that, I still don't feel autistic, if that makes sense? Is it because I'm a woman, and autism presents itself differently in women? Is it because I have a supportive family? Is it because there is such a thing as severity levels across the spectrum and my case is 'very mild'? Is it partly denial because I dislike being different? I don't know.
I feel I'm just living in confusion about who I am. It's like I have some autistic struggles...yet I don't. Very complex. Very scattered. And frustrating when people don't believe that I was officially diagnosed lol. I can relate a lot to NTs, even though I seem to fail at making friends with them.

I look at my cousins and they have friends; people who invite them out for drinks, people they have there to ask at any time to do things like DIY (not in an exploiting way, just a 'friends helping friends' system), people they share interests and hobbies with, people they go on vacation with, people to hang out with who go out of their way to be with you or will call into your home if they're passing, people who invite them to weddings and stag/hen parties, people you can invite to your wedding, and so on. That is what life is when you have friends. I've had a few of those come and go but usually with non-NT people or NT men who liked me

I've never actually been part of an actual crowd. When my same-age colleagues often made plans of social activities outside of work, I was never invited, even though I expressed that I enjoyed the things they were going to do. I was never even asked, and I didn't like to just invite myself. I felt so left out and hurt. And when these things happen it takes me years, if not the rest of my life, to get over, even though I do forgive because I like to remain friendly and pretend like these things don't bother me. Nobody likes a whiner. But I have RSD so that can make other people's behaviour affect me.
 
Hi @Misty Avich , your post is so interesting. May I ask your assigned sex at birth / gender identity, if that's not too personal? Normally females are missed for an ASD diagnosis, so it would be really interesting if you were female and identified as a child. Sometimes symptoms can appear in unexpected ways. Like for instance, one of my repetitive behaviors is teeth grinding, which is very minute and not obvious. I tend to think outside the box of what is stereotypically classified as social difficulties or repetitive behaviors. Even with eye contact, one could either make intense eye contact or look not directly in the eyes despite seeming to, and those could be classified as difficulties making eye contact.

Anyway though, you know you best, and it's your choice how you want to identify. However, if there's some self-rejection regarding an autism diagnosis, I would encourage you to learn to embrace yourself as you are. I'll let you in on a secret: PDD-NOS isn't a DSM-5 classification, yes, but it is actually still mentioned in the diagnostic description for Autism Spectrum Disorder. The DSM-5 states that diagnoses of PDD-NOS should be now diagnosed as ASD. So technically, one could refer to the DSM-IV for the PDD-NOS criteria, and if the person meets those criteria, they could be given a DSM-5 ASD diagnosis.
 
I don't recall reading about broader autism phenotype in the DSM-5, but now I'm gonna reread it because I'm curious if I missed it. That would be interesting! I also think PDD-NOS could have referred to subthreshold traits of a neurodevelopmental disorder, so I wonder if someone could have received a PDD-NOS diagnosis if they had subthreshold ADHD symptoms as well, back in the DSM-IV days. I'll have to research that now too.
 
It's so fascinating coming from the side of seeking a diagnosis, which is the reverse of your situation. I wonder how many people disagree with their ASD diagnoses.
 
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