Sad little autist

[Neri]

I just got out of a 14 year relationship with another autistic guy, after a 21 year/offspring relationship with one, who was vastly my senior. Both ended up being very abusive to me. The first one from very early on, the second we had a lot of sweet loving times but alcohol got the best of him. I'm sad. I live in a homeless shelter now, but a women's one. I don't trust myself to get in another relationship now, but, it's early days of freshly broken up. My heart area hurts. It's harder to end this one around the actual relationship because we had some good times, lots of them, as opposed to the first one where the hard part was leaving some of my children. That broke my heart as well. It's a painful feeling in the heart region, and while I know it will heal, right now it hurts a lot.

 

[Outdated]

What if you can find some things to keep your mind busy? Give it a rest from all of that. The Melbourne Arts Festival (now called Rising) kicks off in June, if you wanted to get involved with that in some way now would be a good time to make enquiries.

RISING: Melbourne 04 — 15 June 2025

There's also a lot of amateur theatre groups in Melbourne, maybe something like that might interest you.

https://www.onlymelbourne.com.au/melbourne-theatre-companies

 

[Aspychata]

This hurts so much to read. Leaving one's children is a lot of grief to work thru. Hoping you can be strong, and continue forward. Any organizations that can try to help with housing?

 

[Outdated]

Any organizations that can try to help with housing?

Here the homeless shelters and the government subsidised social housing are all part of the one system. Now that she has a place in a shelter her name is on a list waiting for a place of her own to become available. I'm not sure how long the waiting list is in Melbourne but I'd lay bets that it's a lot shorter than Sydney or Brisbane. In Adelaide it took me 3 months to get in to a shelter but after that it was only 1 month before I got my own place.

They don't just shove you in an empty unit either, they furnish it for you and give you everything you need to make a fresh start, bed, fridge, washing machine, lounge suite, bedding, kitchen appliances, cutlery and crockery, everything. It's all second hand but all in good condition.

 

[Neri]

This hurts so much to read. Leaving one's children is a lot of grief to work thru. Hoping you can be strong, and continue forward. Any organizations that can try to help with housing?

I have my kid's back in my life, but there is damage there, especially with my middle children who were in their early and mid teens at the time. We are working through that though. Yes, the grief and guilt of leaving them was extreme. I had a very difficult choise as my health was really giving out by staying and I knew I wouldn't have survived much longer had I stayed. I can't say I've healed all the trauma residuals from that time.

This recent breakup really adds a lot more to address; thirty five years of being treated pretty terribly, in the long run, but autistic men, who like me, had traumatic pasts and social/emotional deficits that aren't too treatable without a lot of applying oneself to the social-emotional side of things, which let's face it, isn't the strong point of a lot of blokes, in general, let alone neurospicy ones.

I'm very burnt from guys who want me for those kinds of reasons now. I need time to heal, time to process, time to grieve.

 

[Neri]

What if you can find some things to keep your mind busy? Give it a rest from all of that. The Melbourne Arts Festival (now called Rising) kicks off in June, if you wanted to get involved with that in some way now would be a good time to make enquiries.

RISING: Melbourne 04 — 15 June 2025

There's also a lot of amateur theatre groups in Melbourne, maybe something like that might interest you.

https://www.onlymelbourne.com.au/melbourne-theatre-companies

I've started a ndis funded entry to music industry program. And may yet join a drama group and art class.I'm also practising yoga.I went to a spiritual festival two weekends ago, and afro brazilizn drumming two nights ago. And I'm off to a shamanic journey group session this saturday.

 

[Jonn]

I'm very burnt from guys who want me for those kinds of reasons now. I need time to heal, time to process, time to grieve.

Agreed.

Emotional stability is vital for making good choices.

 

[Jonn]

I've started a ndis funded entry to music industry program. And may yet join a drama group and art class.I'm also practising yoga.I went to a spiritual festival two weekends ago, and afro brazilizn drumming two nights ago. And I'm off to a shamanic journey group session this saturday.

Sounds great.
Good distractions.

I have thought about getting into transcendental meditation, but unfortunately, I think my ADHD is so severe, that to date, I have found it impossible.
These days, I simply try and focus on my breathing to reduce the continuous thinking.
The trouble is, I enjoy exploring thought-patterns, and the intrusive thoughts aren't destructive.

Much of this is caused by caffeine abuse, so I guess this is something to address sooner rather than later.
Poor sleep eventually leads to a greater downfall.

How are your sleep patterns?

 

[Aspychata]

Not sure l would label that distractions, more towards the healing path, and focusing on oneself. This helps with processing thru emotional trauma.