• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Seen as a joke !

T

thejuice

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Does anyone ever feel like people see you as some kind of joke? A few times people have just laughed at me and I have no idea why lol. Or people have this puzzling over enthusiasm to seeing me or they say they love me when I'm quite indifferent to them. A lot of the time they don't even greet me. It makes no sense.

I had it at school, even though I was mostly a solitary person. It seems more patronising than complimentary. I guess they like me but as an autistic I think I'd rather be respected than popular!

I'm getting it even last night. It makes me paranoid, what are they saying about me behind my back? It makes me want to just retreat back into my shell but that self protection strategy has made me miss out on so much of living.

It reminds of reality TV when they put in an autistic guy to be thrown to the wolves. They treat him as some kind of cult legend but really they're laughing at him not with him.
 
Last edited:
I don't know, I like to make people laugh and I like to laugh, so as long as they're laughing with me and not at me I'm okay. Unfortunately my autistic brain paired with my eternal optimism means that I can't always tell the difference.
 
I grew up around dry drole types of humour, I don't realise I'm being that way sometimes and people laugh unexpectedly at something I've said.
 
Most likely they don't see YOU as a joke, but rather was in response to whatever you said or did in a specific moment. My "mind blindness" will not understand the situation sometimes and I might take something seriously when it was meant to be a joke, or worse, I will think it is a joke when it was meant to be serious. The best way to deal with it is to just confront it right away, with some humor and humility, and let it pass. It's part of the reason why I will sit back and listen to the conversation a bit to get my bearings, and then make some attempt to say something. However, as conversations often do, migrate towards other topics and I never get a chance to say anything at all.
 
I am tired of being the joke of women especially single women. I am tired of being ostracized by them or bairly spoken by them which now causes me so much rage and anger when you got guys neurotypical men who can talk to them so easy it frustrated the hell out of me that I wasted 5 years of my life I got 2 burnouts out of it and now I am back on a antipsychotic medication. I am only friends with women who are married and men which sucks.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
I am tired of being the joke of women especially single women. I am tired of being ostracized by them or bairly spoken by them which now causes me so much rage and anger when you got guys neurotypical men who can talk to them so easy it frustrated the hell out of me that I wasted 5 years of my life I got 2 burnouts out of it and now I am back on a antipsychotic medication. I am only friends with women who are married and men which sucks.
Click to expand...
We can only sublimate/ divert our libido and desire into something creative or productive. I became obsessed with drumming. Society was built by men with unrequited love or socially unacceptable aggression.

Better than to be, at best, laughed at by the privileged selectors. No one wants to be harshly judged in the court of public opinion as the 'cringe' clueless guy, or at worst, potentially having innuendos made about us being a rancid sexual predator.
 
Last edited:
Neonatal RRT said:
Most likely they don't see YOU as a joke, but rather was in response to whatever you said or did in a specific moment. My "mind blindness" will not understand the situation sometimes and I might take something seriously when it was meant to be a joke, or worse, I will think it is a joke when it was meant to be serious. The best way to deal with it is to just confront it right away, with some humor and humility, and let it pass. It's part of the reason why I will sit back and listen to the conversation a bit to get my bearings, and then make some attempt to say something. However, as conversations often do, migrate towards other topics and I never get a chance to say anything at all.
Click to expand...

All very relatable. How do you mean confront?
 
Last night I was told "that's why me and x turn to each other and laugh when you come in" and "we say, i wonder which shift he will come in, mine or yours" and then adding afterwards when I didn't react "it's only because we love you"

Thing is I don't love them, it makes no sense and seems insincere. I find them too immodest and overconfident.

I must be the joke to them to feel superior to.
 
Last edited:
thejuice said:
We can only sublimate/ divert our libido and desire into something creative or productive. I became obsessed with drumming. Society was built by men with unrequited love.

Better than to be, at best, laughed at by the privileged selectors. Do we want to be harshly judged in the court of neurotypical opinion as the 'cringe' clueless guy, or at worst, potentially having innuendos made about us being a rancid sexual predator.
Click to expand...
I tried learning piano multiple times and gave up. I tried yoga with the same outcome with women read my post history ultimately I indulge into listening to more music and unhealthy video habits and pictures I can't talk about you know.
 
Tony Ramirez said:
unhealthy video habits and pictures I can't talk about you know.
Click to expand...
I'm not going to be a puritan, nothing wrong with it, when our chances in the real world are almost nil. Anyone who wants to 'stick their ore in' on other people's business can shove their virtue up where the sun don't shine.
 
Last edited:
thejuice said:
I'm not going to be a puritan, nothing wrong with it, when our chances in the real world are almost nil. Anyone who wants to stick their ore in on other people's business stick can shove their virtue up where the sun don't shine.
Click to expand...
I agree 100%. 5 years made me what I am now bitter, angry, addicted to porn, envy, trusting no one, single and still lonelier than ever. Worse if I would have done nothing.
 
Addiction usually involves doing something despite it being detrimental to your life. Would you say the spicy videos are having a negative impact?
 
You know being ignored especially by women by them not taking to me. Giving me that face. Getting up when I sit next to them which I stopped doing even if it means standing up with all of my heavy crap waiting for a seat or walking further away for a seat. Men creep me out and old people smell. Btw this is even in churches now this happens too and I do this crap.
 
Last edited:
Hey give em a break, we're creeps too. 😜

And old people smell 😂😂😁

"As our skin matures, its natural antioxidant protection declines. This decline results in greater oxidation of lipid acid. When lipid acid is oxidized, the chemical compound nonenal is produced, giving off the “old people smell” that many of us are familiar with."

It's described as sweet and musty.
 
Last edited:
thejuice said:
All very relatable. How do you mean confront?
Click to expand...
In the event that you took what was meant to be a joke, and you just didn't understand it that way, once you find out, you just laugh out loud at yourself. Others will likely laugh with you and you can just shrug your shoulders and brush it off.

In the event that you took what was meant to be serious, and thought it a joke, once you find out, have some humility and apologize for your mistake.

No hesitation. Just do it.

As they say, you just have to "man up" and accept your mistake. Either way, people respect the courage to face it right away and with some grace. The worst thing one can do is shrink away from it because the people around you will quickly pass judgement that you are "weak", and no good ever comes of that.
 
Couple of times a day yes, generally by the same people. I focus on the majority that doesn't.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom