(SERIOUS) Expelled from School?

[Aspychata]

Bullies don't listen to words, no doubt. But there are men with small body frames who are dangerous because of martial arts. They had to learn to defend themselves due to their statue.

 

[AspieChris]

I can't build muscle, if you see me naked, I am extremely thin, you can see my bones, I get hurt easily even by sitting, I tried to stop them with words by saying "Hypocrite", but that didn't work. They don't listen to words.

That’s sort of exactly my point. It’s not that you can stop them in the ways that adults are telling you. I always got told things like:

“Be confident. Tell them that it’s not OK. Use your words. Don’t be afraid and they’ll stop.” Or personal favorite “The school has a policy against bullying. Let your teacher know what’s happening and they will make it stop” It’s all nonsense.

Let me give you an example: I was 20 years old in 1993. AIDS was killing thousands of gay men. Times were different back then and calling a man “gay” or “fag” was a huge insult. It was totally normal to discriminate against homosexuals. I’m not gay and I hated to be called gay. My first reaction had always been to defend myself by yelling back that I’m not a fag and that they were the fags. I worked at a huge company and the policy was to report the offense so that management could do a an investigation and that person would be disciplined, maybe even fired. But I knew it would blow up in my face and nothing would change. So I came up with a better solution.

I would instantly start acting like the gayest man on Earth. Maybe roll up my shirt to show off my hairy stomach, talk with a lisp, etc. I had a whole routine. I would immediately get into character, put my arm around the guy who was trying to get under my skin, ask for a date, sometimes even kiss his cheek or stick my tongue in his ear.

Everyone would laugh hysterically AT HIM. He was so grossed out that he couldn’t even talk. Watching him was the funniest thing anyone had ever seen. For the next week, I got to hear lots of people talking about how funny it was that HE got punked. Ironically, nobody even thought that I might be gay even though I was actually acting like the gayest man ever. I had taken his joke away by showing that I was the opposite of offended. And the women LOVED me for doing it. (I eventually dated several of those ladies and married one of them. Still married 23 years now.)

There’s no winning at their game. I heard it said once: “Arguing with a person like that is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter what happens, he’s going to crap on the board, knock over all of the pieces, and strut around like he won”. The way to win (for me anyway) was to change the game so fast that they didn’t have time to make up their own rules.

Another example: In 6th grade I had a bully who liked to follow me into the bathroom at school and yank me away from the urinal so hard that I lost control of my penis and get my pants wet. It’s funny now but I got to spend the rest if the school with urine-soaked clothes. One day I waited for him.

I stood at the urinal holding my pee. When he grabbed me, I turned around and pissed all over him from his chest to his shoes. Nobody saw it but me and him, but it was the last time he messed with me.

————

You’re smarter than they are. If you spend some time alone thinking about a solution that doesn’t involve violence, maybe you can make them decide it’s no fun to mess you and move on to someone else.

 

[tripleU]

That’s sort of exactly my point. It’s not that you can stop them in the ways that adults are telling you. I always got told things like:

“Be confident. Tell them that it’s not OK. Use your words. Don’t be afraid and they’ll stop.” Or personal favorite “The school has a policy against bullying. Let your teacher know what’s happening and they will make it stop” It’s all nonsense.

Let me give you an example: I was 20 years old in 1993. AIDS was killing thousands of gay men. Times were different back then and calling a man “gay” or “fag” was a huge insult. It was totally normal to discriminate against homosexuals. I’m not gay and I hated to be called gay. My first reaction had always been to defend myself by yelling back that I’m not a fag and that they were the fags. I worked at a huge company and the policy was to report the offense so that management could do a an investigation and that person would be disciplined, maybe even fired. But I knew it would blow up in my face and nothing would change. So I came up with a better solution.

I would instantly start acting like the gayest man on Earth. Maybe roll up my shirt to show off my hairy stomach, talk with a lisp, etc. I had a whole routine. I would immediately get into character, put my arm around the guy who was trying to get under my skin, ask for a date, sometimes even kiss his cheek or stick my tongue in his ear.

Everyone would laugh hysterically AT HIM. He was so grossed out that he couldn’t even talk. Watching him was the funniest thing anyone had ever seen. For the next week, I got to hear lots of people talking about how funny it was that HE got punked. Ironically, nobody even thought that I might be gay even though I was actually acting like the gayest man ever. I had taken his joke away by showing that I was the opposite of offended. And the women LOVED me for doing it. (I eventually dated several of those ladies and married one of them. Still married 23 years now.)

There’s no winning at their game. I heard it said once: “Arguing with a person like that is like playing chess with a pigeon. No matter what happens, he’s going to crap on the board, knock over all of the pieces, and strut around like he won”. The way to win (for me anyway) was to change the game so fast that they didn’t have time to make up their own rules.

Another example: In 6th grade I had a bully who liked to follow me into the bathroom at school and yank me away from the urinal so hard that I lost control of my penis and get my pants wet. It’s funny now but I got to spend the rest if the school with urine-soaked clothes. One day I waited for him.

I stood at the urinal holding my pee. When he grabbed me, I turned around and pissed all over him from his chest to his shoes. Nobody saw it but me and him, but it was the last time he messed with me.

————

You’re smarter than they are. If you spend some time alone thinking about a solution that doesn’t involve violence, maybe you can make them decide it’s no fun to mess you and move on to someone else.

Defense? Wear harder clothes? Take something to make me sleepy, etc?

 

[tripleU]

Bullies don't listen to words, no doubt. But there are men with small body frames who are dangerous because of martial arts. They had to learn to defend themselves due to their statue.

Also, I think you got the thoughts, part wrong, I only told you the good thoughts not the bad ones, for them I had the intention to make a comic, rule over a country, etc. But I made a Law Document for this. It's a bit embarrassing to read through so I won't post it here, but if you really want it then I can directly message you here. Other things, I have written are way more embarrassing.

 

[Aspychata]

Don't shame yourself, some of the best scary movies are written by someone who wasn't afraid to put their thoughts down. So you have bad thoughts. As long as they stay in your head, it's no biggie. You have been thru a lot at school. It stands to reason you maybe upset. I hope coming here helps you feel a little better AND accepted.

 

[tripleU]

Don't shame yourself, some of the best scary movies are written by someone who wasn't afraid to put their thoughts down. So you have bad thoughts. As long as they stay in your head, it's no biggie. You have been thru a lot at school. It stands to reason you maybe upset. I hope coming here helps you feel a little better AND accepted.

No the other type of embarrassing, over using one word, using the wrong words, childish tone, etc.

 

[Aspychata]

Okay. I have the same issues. It's kinda of being autistic. We will over use, we don't care how we sound, we can give too much info. All l can say is embrace yourself. I learned to be a comedian. Because people are always laughing at what l say. So then l just decided to roll with it. But l live in a permissive society. I don't know your society views humor.

 

[tripleU]

Okay. I have the same issues. It's kinda of being autistic. We will over use, we don't care how we sound, we can give too much info. All l can say is embrace yourself. I learned to be a comedian. Because people are always laughing at what l say. So then l just decided to roll with it. But l live in a permissive society. I don't know your society views humor.

It views it very badly, they hated me for humor, but only my humor which is a bit different involving, giving wrong answers, like I live underground, I am afraid of wind, to questions they asked. They were trying to hurt me from those questions and wouldn't accept any type of joke now. All the good ones are in my head but I don't say them from the fear of them not listening, I can only joke engaged in a conversation, where I know I will be heard..

 

[Aspychata]

That's sad. Your country is that way.

 

[tripleU]

That's sad. Your country is that way.

I also felt that embarrassment after making a green bathroom right now in Blender, it didn't feel proper, and I wouldn't live there:

 

[AspieChris]

Defense? Wear harder clothes? Take something to make me sleepy, etc?

I’m not sure if you’re adding to my list of things I was told to do. But yeah, that’s the kind of nonsense advice my parents gave me regarding bullies.

 

[AspieChris]

It views it very badly, they hated me for humor, but only my humor which is a bit different involving, giving wrong answers, like I live underground, I am afraid of wind, to questions they asked. They were trying to hurt me from those questions and wouldn't accept any type of joke now. All the good ones are in my head but I don't say them from the fear of them not listening, I can only joke engaged in a conversation, where I know I will be heard..

I learned to be a comedian too. I got good at flipping a situation that was mean to push me down by making it into an embarrassing joke on them. After years of practicing that humor, most people steer clear of picking on me. I have built a reputation of lightning fast joke rebuttals

If you don’t mind me asking, what part of the world are you in? I’m in California USA

 

[AspieChris]

It’s o

I also felt that embarrassment after making a green bathroom right now in Blender, it didn't feel proper, and I wouldn't live there:
View attachment 103501

Its only a bad thing if you don’t like it. Who cares anyway. Some people love green so much that they make a green bathroom in real life

 

[tripleU]

I learned to be a comedian too. I got good at flipping a situation that was mean to push me down by making it into an embarrassing joke on them. After years of practicing that humor, most people steer clear of picking on me. I have built a reputation of lightning fast joke rebuttals

If you don’t mind me asking, what part of the world are you in? I’m in California USA

Pakistan, the people have no sense of humor in it.

 

[tripleU]

It’s o

Its only a bad thing if you don’t like it. Who cares anyway. Some people love green so much that they make a green bathroom in real life

I was trying to make a more realistic house, and added green to make it less dull, it didn't work

 

[AspieChris]

Pakistan, the people have no sense of humor in it.

Ok. I think I understand better. Your situation is a lot worse than I realized. Are you writing these posts in English? Or in your your country’s language. I haven’t figured out yet if this website uses a translation software.

Either way…. I think you would do best if you spend some time learning to act like other people your own age. You can’t change them. You shouldn’t change yourself. But most of us with Asperger’s have learned to disappear so that we can fit in with normal people. It’s not fair and it completely sucks. But it’s necessary.

I learned to adjust my voice so nobody thinks I’m strange. I use simpler words to keep people who are less intelligent from thinking I’m too smart. I hate sports, but I memorized the rules of American football to be able to go to a party and watch a game (and meet girls). I watched how others walk and mimicked them to blend in. I listened to their dumb jokes and pretended to laugh in the same way they did, so I could make similar jokes (even though their jokes seemed stupid to me). Etc.

It’s not fair but it’s life, unfortunately. It was like an extra class in school where I was the only student, there was no teacher or books, and nobody knew I was going there, not even my parents. I was still bullied relentlessly, but I slowly made a few friends. I became so good at it that nobody ever figured out I had Autism. It’s sort of like learning to run really fast so as to not get eaten by a lion (the lions were everywhere)

There’s no question that you’re smart. The problem is that people only see that you’re different. If you can teach yourself to look and act like everyone else, your gifts will be what good people will start to see, instead of your quirks. It’s a long and lonely road, and it’s exhausting. But it helped me later in life to do well in a job interview, find an awesome wife, and have a good life in a world where we’re expected to look and act just as dumb as everyone else (until they need someone awesome, that’s when you get to BE awesome and they stop hating you for your differences).

I have a 15 year old son. He talks weird, walks weird, and makes weird jokes. We homeschool him to avoid the exact problems you’re having. I’m in the process of teaching him to monitor his voice, walk straight, and do everything else that normal people do. I want him to be himself but also to put on a mask that will help him ‘fit in’. It’s the only way I know of to help him survive in this world that would rather kill him for his differences.

 

[tripleU]

Ok. I think I understand better. Your situation is a lot worse than I realized. Are you writing these posts in English? Or in your your country’s language. I haven’t figured out yet if this website uses a translation software.

Either way…. I think you would do best if you spend some time learning to act like other people your own age. You can’t change them. You shouldn’t change yourself. But most of us with Asperger’s have learned to disappear so that we can fit in with normal people. It’s not fair and it completely sucks. But it’s necessary.

I learned to adjust my voice so nobody thinks I’m strange. I use simpler words to keep people who are less intelligent from thinking I’m too smart. I hate sports, but I memorized the rules of American football to be able to go to a party and watch a game (and meet girls). I watched how others walk and mimicked them to blend in. I listened to their dumb jokes and pretended to laugh in the same way they did, so I could make similar jokes (even though their jokes seemed stupid to me). Etc.

It’s not fair but it’s life, unfortunately. It was like an extra class in school where I was the only student, there was no teacher or books, and nobody knew I was going there, not even my parents. I was still bullied relentlessly, but I slowly made a few friends. I became so good at it that nobody ever figured out I had Autism. It’s sort of like learning to run really fast so as to not get eaten by a lion (the lions were everywhere)

There’s no question that you’re smart. The problem is that people only see that you’re different. If you can teach yourself to look and act like everyone else, your gifts will be what good people will start to see, instead of your quirks. It’s a long and lonely road, and it’s exhausting. But it helped me later in life to do well in a job interview, find an awesome wife, and have a good life in a world where we’re expected to look and act just as dumb as everyone else (until they need someone awesome, that’s when you get to BE awesome and they stop hating you for your differences).

I have a 15 year old son. He talks weird, walks weird, and makes weird jokes. We homeschool him to avoid the exact problems you’re having. I’m in the process of teaching him to monitor his voice, walk straight, and do everything else that normal people do. I want him to be himself but also to put on a mask that will help him ‘fit in’. It’s the only way I know of to help him survive in this world that would rather kill him for his differences.

I am writing these in English, I can't speak Urdu. Only enough to be a tourist. English is my native language then. Today, a lot more happened, a teacher that was friendly to me came in and ignored me the whole time, and my leg was picked by them and the worst computer was given to me to take the exam, and that teacher played Candy Crush the whole time. Should I make a new thread as this thread is a bit stale now as no one new is coming? If I try fitting in and do nothing they still hate me, they don't forget the past I am getting more closer to Expulsion. Also, can I be a President/PM/Dictator when I grow up and make things better?

 

[AspieChris]

I am writing these in English, I can't speak Urdu. Only enough to be a tourist. English is my native language then. Today, a lot more happened, a teacher that was friendly to me came in and ignored me the whole time, and my leg was picked by them and the worst computer was given to me to take the exam, and that teacher played Candy Crush the whole time. Should I make a new thread as this thread is a bit stale now as no one new is coming? If I try fitting in and do nothing they still hate me, they don't forget the past I am getting more closer to Expulsion. Also, can I be a President/PM/Dictator when I grow up and make things better?

I don’t know if starting a new thread is necessary. I find a lot of good threads by searching for new posts. Threads get very stale when nobody’s posting in them.

It’s very possible that your short outbursts of self defense, like poking with a pen or throwing a book, are coming out as more of a problem than you realize. You might be appearing to be a “dangerous teenager” instead of a young person who is suffering. And adults gossip…. a lot. My guess is that the one teacher who has been nice to you has been turned by the others.

I’m going to start this by saying it’s probably very bad advice: Do you really want to be in this school? Is it possible that getting yourself expelled could improve your quality of life?

 

[tripleU]

I don’t know if starting a new thread is necessary. I find a lot of good threads by searching for new posts. Threads get very stale when nobody’s posting in them.

It’s very possible that your short outbursts of self defense, like poking with a pen or throwing a book, are coming out as more of a problem than you realize. You might be appearing to be a “dangerous teenager” instead of a young person who is suffering. And adults gossip…. a lot. My guess is that the one teacher who has been nice to you has been turned by the others.

I’m going to start this by saying it’s probably very bad advice: Do you really want to be in this school? Is it possible that getting yourself expelled could improve your quality of life?

Getting expelled is very bad, there is no good homeschooling here for the syllabus. It is a school that is called the best and expensive school. They were also bad to me the previous year, where they gave me the worst seats and the worst computer at the start of this one. And also about the President/PM/Dictator thing that you didn't reply about. I am very bossy, if you see an old thread here, you will see me talking about it to tree in that thread which I think I did before this one, I have a lost video of me being that to my 16 y/o cousin. And his small school is teaching computer science badly after looking at his badly designed textbooks. So it is a natural urge for me, so reply about it. Back to the school issue, I think the poking and throwing issue is permanently engraved in them and I need to do a great chess move to solve it. Also try replying earlier I have 15 minutes before I have to sleep.

 

[tree]

@tripleU

Have you, in fact, been expelled from school?