I’m starting to understand your situation better now correct me if I’m wrong:
You’re not ‘disabled’ but you have a disability in a country that sees any disability to be something that is forbidden, like a drug addiction. There’s absolutely no support for someone like you.
You’re so smart and also so confused about social situations that you’re the easiest target possible for everyone who likes to hurt others. I imagine that being in a wheelchair would get you even worse treatment.
You’re reading at such an advanced level. My guess is that you’re exceptional at math and science/biology/etc also. Surely you would be happy with just being alone most of the day and teach yourself calculus or electronics or something technical. But your society doesn’t allow that for a 13 year old. It’s ironic that education is forced down your throat, but the school you’re stuck in is making it impossible for you to learn. You’re likely smarter than your teachers.
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I was there. At your age I was bullied. It was different for me, being in the USA.
I can only tell you what worked for me: I had to teach myself how fit in and SOUND like the other idiots in my life. I sucked at sports but I memorized the rules to American football so that I could pretend to like it. I faked caring about what my teachers were teaching until they thought I was a fantastic student. I helped my parents in every way- washing dishes, doing laundry, etc. I became the young man that the adults wanted me to be.
Eventually I started lifting weights. It gave me some muscle and allowed me to help with carrying groceries and working on my dad’s car. All of these things slowly got me to a place where they all needed me because I was taking away the crappiest part of their daily responsibilities and I started getting support from adults at school and at home.
It’s not fair and it was exhausting. Nobody should need to lie about how bad they’re hurting. The cold truth is that nobody cares about a 13 year old who is suffering. The more they see it, the less they care. Learning to hide it (now called “masking”) was my only way out. It took me a very long time. But a child who doesn’t know how to ‘fit in’ grows up to be an adult who can’t get a job.
I think you’re basically screwed. You need help but asking for it only makes your life worse. I think you need to teach yourself how to look and act like the idiots who are abusing you. The way you dress, how you walk, what you’re interested in. Acting different might be the biggest problem you have. Again…. It’s not right. But it is life.
You’re not ‘disabled’ but you have a disability in a country that sees any disability to be something that is forbidden, like a drug addiction. There’s absolutely no support for someone like you.
You’re so smart and also so confused about social situations that you’re the easiest target possible for everyone who likes to hurt others. I imagine that being in a wheelchair would get you even worse treatment.
You’re reading at such an advanced level. My guess is that you’re exceptional at math and science/biology/etc also. Surely you would be happy with just being alone most of the day and teach yourself calculus or electronics or something technical. But your society doesn’t allow that for a 13 year old. It’s ironic that education is forced down your throat, but the school you’re stuck in is making it impossible for you to learn. You’re likely smarter than your teachers.
———
I was there. At your age I was bullied. It was different for me, being in the USA.
I can only tell you what worked for me: I had to teach myself how fit in and SOUND like the other idiots in my life. I sucked at sports but I memorized the rules to American football so that I could pretend to like it. I faked caring about what my teachers were teaching until they thought I was a fantastic student. I helped my parents in every way- washing dishes, doing laundry, etc. I became the young man that the adults wanted me to be.
Eventually I started lifting weights. It gave me some muscle and allowed me to help with carrying groceries and working on my dad’s car. All of these things slowly got me to a place where they all needed me because I was taking away the crappiest part of their daily responsibilities and I started getting support from adults at school and at home.
It’s not fair and it was exhausting. Nobody should need to lie about how bad they’re hurting. The cold truth is that nobody cares about a 13 year old who is suffering. The more they see it, the less they care. Learning to hide it (now called “masking”) was my only way out. It took me a very long time. But a child who doesn’t know how to ‘fit in’ grows up to be an adult who can’t get a job.
I think you’re basically screwed. You need help but asking for it only makes your life worse. I think you need to teach yourself how to look and act like the idiots who are abusing you. The way you dress, how you walk, what you’re interested in. Acting different might be the biggest problem you have. Again…. It’s not right. But it is life.
