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Sex

It has always been hard for me to find I even want sex.
A little romance is nice though.
So, autistic romantic asexuals. Seems to be quite a few of those.

asexual-flag_flying_800-100x100.jpg
 
I'm feel on the opposite end; the past couple of years I've been hypersexual. I think it's chasing the oxytocin when I'm feeling low, stressed, triggered etc. But it's giving even more energy out to other people when I'm burnt out and need to rebuild my reserves.

Ed
 
Raggamuffin said:
I'm feel on the opposite end; the past couple of years I've been hypersexual.
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It was the same for me when I was younger, but there's also quite a few women who like an active sex life without being encumbered in a romantic relationship. Mostly women with successful but busy careers.
 
I don't care for sex really. I'm all about love, romance, affection and trust - which is what my relationship with my NT partner is. He doesn't care for sex either.
 
i'm happily glad i'm a virgin,otherwise,i'd be an untambly wild animal,because of the sexual tension with a wildly attractive man or woman,along with a broken private area if i were to have had done it with a woman
 
Sex is sometimes too much work!
Personally I really enjoy hugs and cuddling- which is odd as many autists seem to have sensory issues in this regard.

It's a quandary- many of us have social issues interfering with bonding with others, or simply behaving odd.
Then there's the overtrusting and oversharing issues, which can allow unscrupulous dangerous people to cause harm.
 
Keys to good sex:

Your partner is the most beautiful creature in the world. Doesn't matter who your partner is. Treat them that way.
Enjoy the process. The conclusion will take care of itself eventually. Good sex is mostly playtime. Even orgasms can be optional.
If you don't know, ask. You can also make suggestions.
You are on a trip through the most beautiful terrain in the world. Rushing through it is stupid.
Partners may or may not be good lovers. Accept what they can give you and give back what you can.

Sex and love are like chocolate and peanut butter. Each is pretty good on its own, and they make an outstanding combination. Your partner may want just one or the other or both. Understand what they (and you) want from it before you get into it, and you'll never be disappointed.
 
Raggamuffin said:
I'm feel on the opposite end; the past couple of years I've been hypersexual. I think it's chasing the oxytocin when I'm feeling low, stressed, triggered etc. But it's giving even more energy out to other people when I'm burnt out and need to rebuild my reserves.

Ed
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I think that described me from about the age of ten to my late teens. Wanting to have sex all the time when there was none available (to me, at least) was maddening.
 
I love sex, I have had quite a lot of it with a reasonably large number of people. Interestingly, I would surmise that at least 80% of my relationship partners have been undiagnosed NDs.
 
Misty Avich said:
I don't care for sex really. I'm all about love, romance, affection and trust - which is what my relationship with my NT partner is. He doesn't care for sex either.
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I've lost interest in sex.
Not surprising at my age, I guess.
 
Raggamuffin said:
I'm feel on the opposite end; the past couple of years I've been hypersexual. I think it's chasing the oxytocin when I'm feeling low, stressed, triggered etc. But it's giving even more energy out to other people when I'm burnt out and need to rebuild my reserves.

Ed
Click to expand...
Quite ironic that your name is "Ed" <chuckle>
 
Toirtis said:
I love sex, I have had quite a lot of it with a reasonably large number of people. Interestingly, I would surmise that at least 80% of my relationship partners have been undiagnosed NDs.
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If you look similar to your profile pic, you are particularly attractive. So, it may be easier for you to get sex than some of us, and that helps too. And having knowledge about risk tolerance and what kind of things one can take. If you're into guys, guys tend to want sex faster than girls, and there tends to be more openness to casualness too in this realm.

I can see both sides where sex and rapture of many different forms can feel good or can be a turn off if a person is so mean if one is too picky about performance or knows their "partner" purposely didn't perform well with them, etc. Sex is a temporarily good feeling, but it can complement sharing interests and emotions too. Because of the risks with sex involved, I can see how it can just be an auto turn off for some. But most of us desire sex in some way because it's just a different, good feeling like no other for our animalistic behavior side of things.
 
Wolfnox said:
Honestly the reviews on it have me to spooked to want to pursue it.
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Frrrrr. Am bi myself in terms of attraction/orientation, but 15 years of hearing similar horror stories from many other women about the common experiences when bedding a man of BV/UTIs, body-shaming, consent issues, deception, double-dipping, laziness, poor hygiene, one-sided pleasure (for him, not her), scary extreme knk out of nowhere as standard (thanks for nothing, free adult content online), degradation and abuse...nope, no thank you Sir, I'll stick to women or myself. It's fine, I prefer being around them non-sexually as well, so everyone wins.

Some days I do wonder wistfully what it would be like to have a girlfriend, or even just less committed wlw fwb experiences. Tbh though I don't think I could deal with the relationship maintenance it would require to achieve, when even casual platonic internet friendships sometimes wear me out with the upkeep (checking in daily/weekly, conversations even when I don't feel like it, being a supportive listening ear etc.). And I'm a bit too emotionally-sensitive for a cold strangers-in-the-night pump-and-dump even on the sapphic scene. There's also the matter that I'm not Out of the closet offline or in person, which is unattractive to everyone who isn't also closeted.

So on paper, there's probably no type of partnered sex I could have that wouldn't in some way make me unhappy, scared, or unsatisfied. Still I keep an open mind when it comes to girls, though, you never know how life can change or what's around the corner.
 
Spoonboy said:
Its hard for Autistic people to find sex.The solution to that is Autistic people could pair up with each other.
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understatement of the century or the millenium, but yeah, gotta make sure both of you are compatiable with each other at first before pursuing a relationship with that person.
 
paloftoon said:
But most of us desire sex in some way because it's just a different, good feeling like no other for our animalistic behavior side of things.
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Agreed.
We need to feed our inner "animal" at times.

However, I have always been ambivalent about sex and I am happy that I am moving on.
I prefer friendship/companionship rather than the complexity that sex brings to the relationship.
 
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