Small talk (Do you hate it?)

[Rayner]

I hate small talk I don't ever know what to say, so I look like a 5'10" six year old. It's awful but at least some people are nice about it where I live.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

oooh yes, I despise small talk.

"Have a good weekend?"
"yeah"
"Get up to much?"
"Not really... you?"
"Nah."
"... well, better get on...." *Kills self*

It's so bloody annoying and pointless and awkward.
However, I think small talk with an actual topic is even worse, mainly because it tends to go on far longer and it still annoying, pointless and awkward.

"I went kayaking this weekend."
"Oh cool, have fun?" (Translation: I don't care)
"Yeah... *cue a boring conversation about hobbies*" Snore.

 

[Progster]

Yes, small talk is boring, and a lot of people just do it to be polite, not because they are genuinely interested in talking to me. I'd rather people didn't speak at all, rather than just speak to be polite.

 

[clg114]

I do not like saying anything unless I have something to say. Talking to hear yourself talk is pointless. I need a subject.

 

[watersprite]

I hate small talk I don't ever know what to say, so I look like a 5'10" six year old. It's awful but at least some people are nice about it where I live.

I Agree, Rayner. (Well, except I am 5'9".)
Small talk is absolutely pointless and annoying, because it takes work for no reason and thus is a waste of time. Plus, I have to remind myself that what I think of as communication is not equivalent to most people's idea of communication.

 

[Southern Discomfort]

I'm not a big fan of it either but it's manageable, it's afterwards I'm not too keen on. The script of mindless replies runs dry and I'm left scrambling to find other things you say. To quote Dylan Moran: "...Do you....want a pineapple?" I just don't know what else to say and that makes me feel horrible.

 

[Judge]

Communication without purpose. Something more along the lines of a bizarre ritual. Very odd to me.

 

[watersprite]

For this thread I need a bold extra strength agree button.

 

[Aspieistj]

Small talk is guaranteed to provide an opportunity for me to put my foot in my mouth. After all, small talk is really not about anything that matters, so how can I be expected to be comfortable participating.

 

[wyverary]

You know, after being in jobs and being in school for the last few years, I've learned to make small talk and banter pretty well, even enjoy it sometimes. Four years ago, put me in a "small-talk" situation, I'd have been in way over my head. It took me an especially long time to learn the art of playful bantering (and not to get offended by it!). I blame NOBODY for hating small talk. I guess I've learned the ways of the Great Chameleon and how to blend into the NT world in a somewhat passable manner.

 

[Jacoby]

I don't even hate it, I just can't do it. I don't know how, it doesn't make sense, I'm too in my own head. I usually say nothing in small talk situations unless the other person initiates it, some times you get lucky and something wants to talk about something a bit more in depth. I take a history class and I usually fret about the small talk and pleasantries, occasionally we'll have some interesting conversations before class. Talked about the gay marriage/religious freedom issue the other day, always weird when you find out someone you are talking too is some super religious person since I just don't have that in my life. We all agreed Kim Davis is an idiot at least.

 

[Bellatrix]

Whenever I am in a shop in front of the cashier, and she inevitably asks "How are you today?", I am often tempted to respond with something completely off-script, like "I'm glad you are so interested. Well, let me tell you about how things have been for me this morning. Hey, your name-tag tells me that you are 'Alyssa' - can I call you by your first name? Now, where was I? Oh yes, it all began..."

You have to admit, such a response is far more interesting than the boring and pedestrian (and utterly predictable), "Yes, I'm fine, thanks for asking. How are you?" I mean, if you are really not interested, I take it as an insult that you are pretending to be. It's dishonest, and dishonesty is rude from the perspective of many of us who are not 'en-tee'.

 

[Bellatrix]

We all agreed Kim Davis is an idiot at least.

Who is Kim Davis, and why is she 'an idiot'?

 

[Cuppa' Tea]

I absolutely hate small talk. And I work in retail, so I have to have the OP's conversation at least one hundred times a day.

 

[The Penguin]

One thing I hate about being in business is networking events involves with a lot small talk. What makes it harder for me, the fact I keep to myself most of my life and don't follow current events and can not connect with most people interest. It makes it hard for me to think of anything to say.

 

[Kouryuu]

I used to hate small talk pre-diagnoses. I didnt understand it. If I ever answered honestly (by actuallly answering the questions) people seemed put off or stopped talking to me. I began to copy others and just say the usual meaningless crap. I began to hate it because there was no point to it. I would start conversations with what I wanted to talk about instead of 'hi how are you' but people would be like "no hi then?" ugg.

Post diagnoses I learned that it was just a thing people do, though I still have a tendency to be a little too detailed and I still skip past it if I start a conversation...

 

[Thanatos]

"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm good, how about you?"
"I'm good."
"well... bye?"

This conversation! I have it at least once a day with little variation unless I can come up with something funny off the top of my head, or cut down any thing I think is worth mentioning into a 3-4 sentence paragraph... Who am I kidding its one long run-on sentence because that's the way I talk T_T

I don't know, when I first started working, not long after finding out I was an aspie, I actually got used to small talk, it was simple, it kept me from blabbing people's ears off, and sticking to a script seemed to guarantee I wouldn't say something stupid.

However now it feels like a useless gesture to convince people they care about eachother, answering with a negative just means annoying them with your problems or getting a bit of sympathy I don't really feel that I want, but having the convo be the same with everyone I talk to just makes me want to scream.

God yes.

My mother is extremely confused by me, frequently uttering in confusion, "Wait. People can actually not like small talk?" Yes, and the world would be better off without such superficial nonsense.

 

[Hedgehog Instigator]

"Hi, how are you?"
"I'm good, how about you?"
"I'm good."
"well... bye?"

This conversation! I have it at least once a day with little variation unless I can come up with something funny off the top of my head, or cut down any thing I think is worth mentioning into a 3-4 sentence paragraph... Who am I kidding its one long run-on sentence because that's the way I talk T_T

I don't know, when I first started working, not long after finding out I was an aspie, I actually got used to small talk, it was simple, it kept me from blabbing people's ears off, and sticking to a script seemed to guarantee I wouldn't say something stupid.

However now it feels like a useless gesture to convince people they care about eachother, answering with a negative just means annoying them with your problems or getting a bit of sympathy I don't really feel that I want, but having the convo be the same with everyone I talk to just makes me want to scream.

Yes everyone here! I want in depth detailed and interesting conversation!

 

[Little fire]

Small talk is pointless to me. I asked the Autism spectrum therapist about it. He said we are supposed to us we small talk to investigate if a person wants to talk further. My first thought is really??? I have to find out if they want to talk to me?? And about my topic?? Why can't I simply just talk about my topic...they can just ignore me. I never asked about people's family or interests. I don't ask people many questions. Their answers are irrelevant unless I have a curiously I want satisfied. On the other hand I am kind and caring and I work in energy healing. I just don't want to hear about people.i can care about their general happiness and well being with out wanting to hear their business. I pick my people and I primarily talk to those people. And talking is for a purpose.

 

[Dominic]

Small talk is nothing but dialog without real content or purpose. What's the point in asking somebody "how are you?" when your not really interested in hearing their response? I just find that rude and irritating. Just because the person asking doesn't feel comfortabel with silence, they feel the need to say something rather than nothing and it doesn't matter to them how banile their ramblings are.

At my work it is customary to wish everybody "good morning". Everybody greets everybody with the same greeting and then they spend the rest of the day ignoring each other and not (in most cases) acknowledging their existence any further once the morning ritual has been completed. What is the point of this and why is the morning so special that it needs its own greeting?

Of course, for my part I try to take part and come across as sincere as possible when it's my turn but usually the fact that I am wearing my headphones and sunglasses (to block out noise and vivid light, not as a fashion statement) conveys that "i'm not really interested in communicating with you" and I am left for the most part alone.