Speaking of Hos...

[Suzette]

Robert Lewis Stephenson

Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil be done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

The mate was fixed by the bos’n’s pike
The bos’n’ brained with a markin spike
And Cookey’s throat was marked belike
It had been gripped by fingers ten
And there they lay all good dead men
Like break o’ day in a boozing ken
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum

Fifteen men of a whole ship’s list
Yo Ho Ho and a bottle of rum
Dead and be damned and the rest gone whist!
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

The skipper lay with his nob in gore
Where the scullion’s axe his cheek had shore
And the scullion he was stabbed times four
And there he lay and the soggy skies
Dripped all day in up-staring eyes
At murk sunset and at foul sur-prise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Fifteen men of ‘em stiff and stark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Ten of the crew had the murder mark
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

‘Twas a cutlass swipe or and ounce of lead
Or a yawning hole in a battered head
and the scuppers glut with a yawning red
And there they lay aye damn my eyes
All lookouts clapped on par - a - dise
All souls bound just con – tra – ri - wise
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Fifteen men of ‘em good and true
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Every man Jack could ha’ sailed with old Pew
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

There was chest on chest of Spanish gold
With a ton of plate in the middle hold
And the cabins riot with stuff un told
As they lay there that had took the plum
With a sightless glare and their lips struck dumb
While we shared all by the rule of thumb
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

Fifteen men of a dead man’s chest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum
Drink and the devil had done for the rest
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

We wrapped ‘em all in a mains’l tight
With twice ten turns of a hausers bight
And we heaved ‘em over and out of sight
With a yo heave ho and fare you well
And a sullen plunge in a sullen swell
Ten fathoms deep on the road to hell
Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum

 

[Luca]

I thought this thread was going to be about referring to promiscuous women with a certain word that is common in the slang vernacular where I live

 

[Forest Cat]

I thought this thread was going to be about referring to promiscuous women with a certain word that is common in the slang vernacular where I live

I thought it was about Santa

 

[Callistemon]

And I was all ready to ask, "What do you call a deer with no eyes?"

 

[Callistemon]

Now there's someone who gargles with Drano. Ahoy!

 

[Suzette]

I thought it was about Santa

View attachment 76785

Leave your shoes out on December 5th and Sinterklaas will fill them with yummy treats. (Which is never quite fair because bigger shoes can hold more treats)

 

[Suzette]

And I was all ready to ask, "What do you call a deer with no eyes?"

I confess, I have absolutely no idea what this joke means. Go easy on us love - we are autistic!

 

[Luca]

I confess, I have absolutely no idea what this joke means. Go easy on us love - we are autistic!

I'm probably interpreting the joke wrong too, but I was simply thinking "dead."

 

[Crossbreed]

And I was all ready to ask, "What do you call a deer with no eyes?"

I confess, I have absolutely no idea what this joke means. Go easy on us love - we are autistic!

The punchline is "No-eye deer," which, in some dialects, sounds like "No idea" (what you are talking about)...

 

[Suzette]

The punchline is "No-eye deer," which, in some dialects, sounds like "No idea" (what you are talking about)...

Ooohhh!

 

[Callistemon]

See, I know people find this stuff funny even if they don't get it at first. I don't think there's anyone in the world who "gets" all jokes. But when someone hands you the missing link, it's like, "A-ha! Good trick, hahaha!"

On that note - what do you call a man who's floating in the ocean? ...maybe I should start a new thread for this...

 

[Kalinychta]

I love Treasure Island! How funny, I didn’t know someone later expanded the pirates’ sea-song into a long poem.

 

[Kalinychta]

what do you call a man who's floating in the ocean?

Dead.

 

[Suzette]

See, I know people find this stuff funny even if they don't get it at first. I don't think there's anyone in the world who "gets" all jokes. But when someone hands you the missing link, it's like, "A-ha! Good trick, hahaha!"

On that note - what do you call a man who's floating in the ocean? ...maybe I should start a new thread for this...

I am going with Bob.

 

[Callistemon]

Dead.

Bwahahaha! Also very funny. Or he could be excellent at just-floating, which is easier in seawater.

This is a name joke, so the conventional answer to that one is: Bob

Should we start a name jokes thread?

 

[Callistemon]

I am going with Bob.

Indeed. You got there first! (or at least you had incontrovertible proof of it!)

 

[Suzette]

I love Treasure Island! How funny, I didn’t know someone later expanded the pirates’ sea-song into a long poem.

Thats Stephensons poem.

 

[Suzette]

Indeed. You got there first! (or at least you had incontrovertible proof of it!)

Why woudn't the skeleton board the pirate ship?

 

[Kalinychta]

Thats Stephensons poem.

Only the first four lines were written by Stevenson and included in the novel. The pirates sing it. Someone else wrote the rest and published it as a poem ten years later.

 

[Callistemon]

Why woudn't the skeleton board the pirate ship?

No idea... (really!)
Because it couldn't walk without muscles?

(Have you ever said "I was born on a pirate ship!" while poking out your tongue and holding on to its tip? )