The Circle

[Bay]

So I talked about this girl I like already. Well, today as we were walking from class we were talking casually like we always do. I grabbed the door handle to leave the building and go outside and she says, "Wait! What are you doing tonight?"

So then she asked me for my phone number and asked me if I wanted to go bowling with her tonight.

Its a good days AC!

Excellent! I hope you both enjoy yourselves immensely!

 

[Arashi222]

Arashi, I am delighted that you made it to the doll meet and survived. Very proud of you! How interesting that there were so many people there. It may be better for you in the long run, perhaps? More people to possibly know, less focus on the ones you already know (but wish you didn't). Did you find anything worthwhile for your dolls? Any new dolls for you? Maybe if you go again a few times it will lessen the uncomfortable feelings about the ex friends and maybe you might meet one or two new friends? If things get uncomfortable, at least the dolls are always there for you. Happy dance!

Bay,
Thanks so much.It was interesting. There is usually not that many people there but it was fun...it was really overwhelming. But I didn't end up under the table and I only cried once because of a friend of both of ours coming over and being all stuff happens and hugging me when he knew I didn't really want to be hugged and it was only after they decided they were leaving. Ahhh yes I actually got a free pair of Mary Jane Shoes for my blind girl. I am getting a new little bitty dollie to turn into a seeing eye fairy. I found like three dresses that I really really wanted and had no money to buy.. frown but they are all on etsy and stuff so I can order from that. You are more than welcome to look at my photo gallery. I have the dollie meet pics I took up. So everyone can see how many differing styles nad molds. Plus I was able to make this one guys day as I had his grail doll. Needless to say yesterday was amazing. Today was fine...

 

[epath13]

I thought I'd post something here. Weird thing happened to me today, I was discussing a subject today with my coach and later received an email from a fried living 1000s miles away writing about exactly the same subject. We've been thinking about the same thing
Feeling kinda disappointed about another forum I'm on, I though there're some reasonable people discussing controversial subjects without judgement, but it seems that people more preoccupied with their egos and personal conflicts rather than sharing knowledge. It sucks... But at the same time... Don't have time for it anyway... Should I finish this thing on a high note? watching Big Ban Theory, haven't watched it for a while, Sheldon's drinking whiskey making insulting jokes... I thi

 

[Arashi222]

Epath13: That's a great High note though...love Big Bang Theory.

I had a decent day...I got this huge burr to clean my room and while its not completely finished yet I had have gotten almost all cleaned and vacuum. Throwing out stuff and putting things away. On a high note for me is that on Wednesday I get go to hang out again with my new dollie friends. Plus I get to get my doll back too as he was getting his new face done. Maybe finding him a new outfit too. We shall see if they wants to go to Joanne fabrics for that....Hope everyone else is having a good day.

 

[Kelly]

I'm freaking out!

I phoned up CLASS (cambridge lifespan asperger syndrome services) on Friday because I was worried my forms/tests hadn't arrived, the woman asked for my name so I gave it and she said "Ooooh yes we got yours, you'll definitely be getting an appointment with us". So over the weekend I've been going over and over what she said and the way she said it trying to figure out if she meant it in a good or bad way. Was my application that bad it stuck out or something?

So I had a call about 30 mins ago, same woman saying they'd had a cancellation can I come in next Monday. So now I am totally freaking out, what if they say I'm wrong it's not Asperger's I'm fine 'normal' even.....:S Maybe they didn't really have a cancellation they just want to process me quickly because I don't have it so they want me out of the way so they can concentrate on others. They are calling my mum instead of having her come all the way down here, what if she makes me out to sound 'normal' and plays everything down, like when I wouldn't speak in school or when I had to have a certain routine will she even mention it, what if she forgets something important....I have too much racing through my mind now and I feel sick!

 

[epath13]

I'm freaking out!

I phoned up CLASS (cambridge lifespan asperger syndrome services) on Friday because I was worried my forms/tests hadn't arrived, the woman asked for my name so I gave it and she said "Ooooh yes we got yours, you'll definitely be getting an appointment with us". So over the weekend I've been going over and over what she said and the way she said it trying to figure out if she meant it in a good or bad way. Was my application that bad it stuck out or something?

So I had a call about 30 mins ago, same woman saying they'd had a cancellation can I come in next Monday. So now I am totally freaking out, what if they say I'm wrong it's not Asperger's I'm fine 'normal' even.....:S Maybe they didn't really have a cancellation they just want to process me quickly because I don't have it so they want me out of the way so they can concentrate on others. They are calling my mum instead of having her come all the way down here, what if she makes me out to sound 'normal' and plays everything down, like when I wouldn't speak in school or when I had to have a certain routine will she even mention it, what if she forgets something important....I have too much racing through my mind now and I feel sick!

I'm quite sure that they did have a cancelation and that is the actuall reason for moving the appointment. Does you mom live nearby? In any case they probably thought it would be more convenient to interview her over the phone. In my experience when specialists ask relatives questions, they don't ask "how your child was in general, what do you think of her", usually they ask specific medical questions (complications during birth, head injuries, hearing issues, speech delays, things like that). Maybe in UK they would ask different questions but there's a good chance those are the questions they will ask. I believe diagnosis can be based primarily on the test and personal interview.
And too be honest if the test was "normal" then why would they need to see you? I mean... I might be wrong, but to me it's common sense. It's like when you go to the doctor, they do some medical tests, then call you and say "all the tests are negative". After that you wouldn't expect them to invite you for an appointment, why would they?
I'm sure people at the CLASS are there to help you and they're not against you.
I understand this can be nerve-racking, but still I hope you can see this all in a positive light, no matter what happens good luck!

 

[King_Oni]

I'm freaking out!

I phoned up CLASS (cambridge lifespan asperger syndrome services) on Friday because I was worried my forms/tests hadn't arrived, the woman asked for my name so I gave it and she said "Ooooh yes we got yours, you'll definitely be getting an appointment with us". So over the weekend I've been going over and over what she said and the way she said it trying to figure out if she meant it in a good or bad way. Was my application that bad it stuck out or something?

So I had a call about 30 mins ago, same woman saying they'd had a cancellation can I come in next Monday. So now I am totally freaking out, what if they say I'm wrong it's not Asperger's I'm fine 'normal' even.....:S Maybe they didn't really have a cancellation they just want to process me quickly because I don't have it so they want me out of the way so they can concentrate on others. They are calling my mum instead of having her come all the way down here, what if she makes me out to sound 'normal' and plays everything down, like when I wouldn't speak in school or when I had to have a certain routine will she even mention it, what if she forgets something important....I have too much racing through my mind now and I feel sick!

Where my mom got involved to get my diagnosis I got freaked out a bit as well, seeing as my mom might forget a thing here or there. It's also a reason my dad wasn't coming along; he had a brain infarct about 10 years ago, so he's forgetting a lot in the past years.

Then when my diagnosis was finally due I got stressed out because I thought they might tell me "nothing wrong with you". That proved out to be far from it.

I think that a lot of stuff to diagnose someone comes down to "how well can a therapist pinpoint relevant questions and information?". Mine apparently asked a lot of questions that were relevant and made it quite easy for my mom as well as me to respond to.

 

[Bay]

I'm freaking out!

I phoned up CLASS (cambridge lifespan asperger syndrome services) on Friday because I was worried my forms/tests hadn't arrived, the woman asked for my name so I gave it and she said "Ooooh yes we got yours, you'll definitely be getting an appointment with us". So over the weekend I've been going over and over what she said and the way she said it trying to figure out if she meant it in a good or bad way. Was my application that bad it stuck out or something?

So I had a call about 30 mins ago, same woman saying they'd had a cancellation can I come in next Monday. So now I am totally freaking out, what if they say I'm wrong it's not Asperger's I'm fine 'normal' even.....:S Maybe they didn't really have a cancellation they just want to process me quickly because I don't have it so they want me out of the way so they can concentrate on others. They are calling my mum instead of having her come all the way down here, what if she makes me out to sound 'normal' and plays everything down, like when I wouldn't speak in school or when I had to have a certain routine will she even mention it, what if she forgets something important....I have too much racing through my mind now and I feel sick!

Don't freak out! I am having my official dianostic testing tomorrow, and I am also nervous that the results will show that I am NT, even though I am certain that I have grown up with Asperger's. It feels as though so much rides on the diagnosis. It's not just my identity that is at stake, there may be certain programs that I may be eligible for that may help with my job search, may help me if I go back to school, etc. They would be SUCH a help.

Knowing yourself as you do, do YOU think that the results are likely to come back as NT? From what I know of you, it seems unlikely.

 

[2010Dolby]

Im on lunchbreak right now. So far today SUCKS! I was put in charge of mudding drywall for weeks. Mudding drywall sounds so cool, doesnt it?!?!?! Nope, all it means is patching screw holes and seams with a white "mud".

 

[epath13]

Im on lunchbreak right now. So far today SUCKS! I was put in charge of mudding drywall for weeks. Mudding drywall sounds so cool, doesnt it?!?!?! Nope, all it means is patching screw holes and seams with a white "mud".

I though I'd ask. How's your wound?

 

[2010Dolby]

I though I'd ask. How's your wound?

It's actually healing up pretty fast. Still a very sore, but looks much better. And I've lost some strength in my left leg, I'm gonna assume I drilled out part of my leg muscle so the muscles torn.

Just another day at the office

 

[Arashi222]

I'm freaking out!

I phoned up CLASS (cambridge lifespan asperger syndrome services) on Friday because I was worried my forms/tests hadn't arrived, the woman asked for my name so I gave it and she said "Ooooh yes we got yours, you'll definitely be getting an appointment with us". So over the weekend I've been going over and over what she said and the way she said it trying to figure out if she meant it in a good or bad way. Was my application that bad it stuck out or something?

So I had a call about 30 mins ago, same woman saying they'd had a cancellation can I come in next Monday. So now I am totally freaking out, what if they say I'm wrong it's not Asperger's I'm fine 'normal' even.....:S Maybe they didn't really have a cancellation they just want to process me quickly because I don't have it so they want me out of the way so they can concentrate on others. They are calling my mum instead of having her come all the way down here, what if she makes me out to sound 'normal' and plays everything down, like when I wouldn't speak in school or when I had to have a certain routine will she even mention it, what if she forgets something important....I have too much racing through my mind now and I feel sick!

AZ83: Big deep breaths. It will be all right you just have to be you. That maybe she didn't mean it in any way other than that they saw the application and that what they saw in the application means they want to see you and that you got lucky with a cancellation that is all. I hope it works out. For you really I do. Good luck we're all pulling for you I'm sure. They just want to help you. Its ok to freak out a bit...but know that we're all here waiting for you when you return to regal us with your tails of survival.

Dolby: I am so glad to hear that you're leg is a bit better. But that is not good that you have some weakness in your leg. Did you ever go see a doctor??? I'm sorry that you're day was sucking.

Let's see my day was fine...I only worked for four hours. But I had one guy insult me about knowing how to make a fax. I had one guy tell me I was stupid because I need a calculator to figure out this really complex refund that I was doing just to help out one of the new girls because she didn't know how to do it nor should she have. But no matter...I am gonna sit here and eat an internet cookie and snuggles with everyone here instead of stewing.

 

[Kelly]

Thanks for the support everyone, I'm much calmer, it was just that moment of OMG this is really happening, I was expecting to wait at least a couple of months because their waiting lists are up to 3 months long.

Knowing yourself as you do, do YOU think that the results are likely to come back as NT? From what I know of you, it seems unlikely.

Asperger's just seems like the right answer, it's like I keep saying to my husband I have so many traits how could they say no and plus for the first time ever I feel like I actually belong if that makes sense. Everytime I read about someone with Asperger's doing or thinking XYZ I can completely relate because I do/think the same thing.

I think alot of my doubts stem from other people first there was my ex-friend, I first suspected Asperger's about 4 years ago but she said there was no way I could have it because her boyfriend's little brother was autistic and I was nothing like him. Then there is the gateway worker I saw who read 1 paragraph of my 3 page long symptoms/traits etc, skimmed a few other lines, laughed and then said I obviously had OCD(because I'd written all about my obsessions and rituals etc) and I couldn't have Asperger's because it's a childhood develomental disorder. Then when I told my dad I was seeking a diagnosis he went off on a tangent about how when him and my mum divorced it really affected me (I think he was trying to say I'm so messed up because of that)...he also went on about some rather bizarre things that made him sound like a psychopath (again maybe he was hinting I'd inhertited some kind of mental disorder from him). Then my husband put doubts in my mind because he kept saying things like "what if it's not asperger's? You've invested so much time and effort into it, your obsessed and if they say you don't have it your going to be so upset". So yeah everyone else has put doubts in my mind and it made me really paranoid about whether I'm right or wrong.

In other news I have a load of (unpaid) work to do, I have to transfer a website over and possibly build it from scratch again and I really can't be bothered particularly because it's for the playgroup who treated me like crap. I did try telling them to just do it themselves and I'd transfer the domain name over but ugh the woman who I'm dealing with is a moron, every day I've had a stupid question "What package do we need?"..."Can we still keep our domain name?" "I'm not sure what to select" so to save my sanity I said I'd just do it all, they are so incompetent!

Let's see my day was fine...I only worked for four hours. But I had one guy insult me about knowing how to make a fax. I had one guy tell me I was stupid because I need a calculator to figure out this really complex refund that I was doing just to help out one of the new girls because she didn't know how to do it nor should she have. But no matter...I am gonna sit here and eat an internet cookie and snuggles with everyone here instead of stewing.

What an idiot would he rather you got it wrong and gave him less then he was entitled to?! I don't know how you do it Arashi I could not work with people in that way, it would drive me crazy!

 

[Arashi222]

Well good luck AZ83. Doesnt matter what the tests say you belong here.

Meh I've worked there a long time. People who sbop at this store feel very entitled. Being called stupid while hurtful is not the worst thing a customer has said. Besides i remind myself that it pays the bills mostly i am lucky to have it even if it sucks.

 

[Alpaca]

Got back from a Reservoir called "Dead Man's Basin." It really is one of Montana's hidden gems.

did some fishing, camping and got a dooser of a sun burn. All in all not bad.

 

[Bay]

I went to a native plant sale over the weekend and got a few new babies for my garden. Today I had my diagnostic testing. I don't think I did very well on the IQ parts, actually. Oh well. I'm not concerned with that part of it. I've got enough brains to get by, at least.

 

[2010Dolby]

I brought the Firebird back to my familys house. Now I've got the room and heavy machinery to redo her.

This chapter of my life is called "Rebuilding a Firebird"

So excited

 

[y2marmar]

I've got a job interview on Saturday. So I spent today preparing for an interview, researching the company, etc. Today was pretty relaxed. Went to my counsellor (who I see due to other non-aspie issues). She's always interested in the aspergers side of things, it's not something she knows much about. So she often questions that, why I need to stick to my routin so rigidly, etc. Which can get to me a little. I don't know why I do things like routine, etc. I just...do.

 

[Harpuia]

I worked, been feeling very depressed and hopeless about the state of everything as I have been the last couple weeks, but that's for another time. Came home, did a little bit of programming, and now I'm going to go play some poker tonight.

 

[Arashi222]

Today was ok I suppose. I got talked to at work for an override that I don't really remember doing and my boss wonders why I tend to not do a lot of the big override stuff its because I don't like being talked to like that. He was fine I just don't like being talked to about things I've done wrong because I always feel so on edge about it like it makes me look bad or something rather than just a human mistake or something. I don't know. Plus some lady had lots of bad things to say about this cashier that I work with and called me a ***** when I asked her what i could help her with and then proceeded to call the cashier she was complaining about a ***** too. I told my supervisor just in case the customer called to complain but I told him I was like no one deserves to be called a *****. It really got under my skin.

Other than that I am really happy that my friend is gonna RP with me and try to get one of my characters to come back after being lost between worlds of my ex-friends and my own. So that is kinda exciting.