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The last thing that made you laugh
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AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
If you can make it through this without laughing or even smiling, I applaud you - I don't know how you're doing it.
..
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Apparently. From what I can gather it's a very old article from the early days of the internet. While admittedly it is on a rather nasty subject, I posted it in the "adult" thread for a reason. The last line where he says "Maybe necrophilia will enter the mainstream because of your efforts" cracked me up.
Early 90s actually; there was a timestamp at the end of the original copypasta that said 1993.
Anyway!
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AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
Monty Python and the Holy Grail Clips
King Arthur vs. Black Knight (Star Wars)
Camelot Song in LEGO
King Arthur vs. Black Knight (Star Wars)
Camelot Song in LEGO
zurb
Eschewer of Obfuscation
AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
Those times were you read the comments below an article and a chain of comments just makes you smile, giggle or laugh. Here's my most recent one that made me giggle:
ARTICLE: STURGEON'S EUROPE DREAM IN TATTERS: Scotland 'WILL' have to leave EU with rest of UK
COMMENT LIST:
ARTICLE: STURGEON'S EUROPE DREAM IN TATTERS: Scotland 'WILL' have to leave EU with rest of UK
COMMENT LIST:
- As a Scot I think Nicola Sturgeon is an Idiot!
- As an Englishman, I do to!
- As an Ulsterman I'm in this club too. Now if only we could get someone from Wales...
- Greetings from Wales. Most of us think she is bonkers.
- As an Ulsterman I'm in this club too. Now if only we could get someone from Wales...
- As an Englishman, I do to!
AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
AGXStarseed
Well-Known Member
A recent article from a German newspaper about the UK. There's some snide humour in there, but it's mostly complimentary and hey - you've got to laugh at yourself and your country sometimes:
1. In the UK there are about 50,000 hotels. One of them, a decent 2 star hotel, we like especially due to its name: 'The European Hotel" in King's Cross in London.
2. Since the Brexit vote the pound has lost about 10% against the Euro. Holiday in GB is now considerably cheaper, a custom-made suit in the Savile Row in London is now affordable, when buying a bottle of Balmenach 1988 Single Malt Whiskey you save €12, and a ticket to a top musical in London with a good seat now costs about €20-30 less.
3. Danes, Spanish and Dutch might have a monarchy, but the coolest is still in Britain. No other one wears such extravagant hats, no one else has as many dogs, no one else is leading the family business as well as Elisabeth II. And her grandchild, Prince Harry, counts as one of the most attractive bachelors on the planet.
4. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is the name of the most famous town in Wales: 58 letters, 3,000 inhabitants and the longest official name in Europe.
5. Why not drive a hovercraft? In England the future-technology of the 50s is still being used between Portsmouth and the Ilse of Wright is the last hovercraft ferry connection in the world. This summer the fleet will receive an additional two new boats, decorated in style with the Union Jack.
6. The best Indian food outside of India can be found in GB - and this without Delhi belly, guaranteed (lovely how elegantly the Brits avoid the word diarrhoea).
7. One of the British islands isn't really affected by the Brexit, because it was never really a part of the EU and didn't vote: the Isle of Man. It isn't even officially part of the UK, since it is autonomous. The Queen still rules but the laws are made by an independent parliament. This is how, for example, the old Gaelic Manx was made official language next to English, how the island became a tax oasis and how it can avoid having speed limits on most streets. This way you can enjoy the greenery even faster or quickly go to one of the local smokers to enjoy a smoked herring.
8. With 400,000 books and a spectacular architecture by the Dutch architecture firm Mecanoo, the new library in Birmingham has turned into the most visited tourist attraction in Britain outside of London. The wooden Shakespeare memorial room doesn't just contain the most important Shakespeare collection in the entire kingdom but also offers an impressive view on the Black Country.
9. The quaint pubs are slowly disappearing, unfortunately. Therefore it is worth to visit one while they are still there. In small towns they can always be found opposite churches.
10. You can get used to the bitter Brown Ale with a little practise. It is said that there is only very little carbon dioxide in there so that you can drink more.
11. Britain has a new weekly: The New European. Clever, critical, entertaining and pro-European. "The paper for the 48%" can be bought for £2.
12. As an opposite to the glass towers that seem to sprout all over London the massive concrete buildings from the post-war era are becoming more appealing. It is worth to visit these horrible old buildings before they get replaced with horrible new ones. A milestone of brutality of the British influence is the culture centre The Barbican and the National Theatre in London.
13. Grime is the best type of hip-hop. You can convince yourself of the legendary kaboom of this very British music genre by going to gigs of the rappers Skepta, Lethal Bizzle and Dizzie Rascal.
14. You can discover music here that you never thought you would like at record store Rough Trade. The shop in the hip Brick Lane resembles a concept store, rather than a classic record store, including photo box, gourmet-coffee and live gigs.
15. From the Aston Martin DB2 to the very first Land Rover ever built: with nearly 300 exhibits the British Motor Museum in Warwickshire has the world-wide biggest collection of automotive treasures made in the UK. Pity you can't drive them around yourself though.
16. They are now calling themselves the People's Republic of Lambeth, the people in Lambeth of which 78.6% voted remain - the highest percentage on the islands. But that's not the only reason why it is worth going to the South of the river, there are also some attractions: for example the London Eye, National Theatre and the Florence-Nightingale Museum
17. Founded in 1730, purveyor to the court, valued highly by James Bond: Floris in Jermyn Street in London is one of Britain's oldest perfume manufacturers. 007 inventor Ian Fleming was a regular, he loved the flowery-wooden Eau de Toilette No. 89 that was brought to the market in 1955.
18. Europe's most famous prehistoric monster hasn't been found by anyone yet, but it still attracts about a million tourists a year to the Loch Ness in Scotland.
19. At the Natural History Museum in London you can explore Nessie's possible relatives. We very much like the Tyrannosaurus Rex, a lifelike robot that snaps and roars at visitor. This way science is fun.
20. The English are the most polite people in the world and also refreshingly humorous. Tattooed bus drivers and rough cashiers address you with "Sorry, love", you have to queue everywhere and apologise for everything: "Sorry that my foot is underneath yours."
21. You don't have to fly to the Caribbean to see palm trees and white beaches, you can also find them in Cornwall. Here the sun is shining more often and there is less rain on average than there is in the rest of the country.
22. The Eurostar has the nicest name among trains with which you can comfortably go to Paris or Brussels, or to London by using the Euro tunnel, which the Brits are cheekily calling Channel Tunnel. And not just since the Brexit vote.
23. For decades Liverpool has been the withered flower of Britain from the industrial age. Then the EU pumped more than €1.5 billion into the broken worker city between 1994 and 2013. Since then Liverpool has risen from the ruins. Goal destination of architecture lovers, place of pilgrimage for Beatles fans, bearer of hope for the culture tourism industry. There is still a pro-EU atmosphere here, after all 51.4% voted remain.
24. The Brits haven't lost their black humour because of the Brexit vote. One, for example, tweeted that the next Bond film would only contain one scene: 007 at the border control in France for two hours. Another shows a picture of a pound coin and with the slogan: ‘Look what I just found, a 90 pence coin’.
25. England, Scotland and Wales have a total of 3500km of canals. Previously they served the transport of goods. Today you can comfortably sail through the country with a narrow boat. And the good thing is: you don't even need a license.
1. In the UK there are about 50,000 hotels. One of them, a decent 2 star hotel, we like especially due to its name: 'The European Hotel" in King's Cross in London.
2. Since the Brexit vote the pound has lost about 10% against the Euro. Holiday in GB is now considerably cheaper, a custom-made suit in the Savile Row in London is now affordable, when buying a bottle of Balmenach 1988 Single Malt Whiskey you save €12, and a ticket to a top musical in London with a good seat now costs about €20-30 less.
3. Danes, Spanish and Dutch might have a monarchy, but the coolest is still in Britain. No other one wears such extravagant hats, no one else has as many dogs, no one else is leading the family business as well as Elisabeth II. And her grandchild, Prince Harry, counts as one of the most attractive bachelors on the planet.
4. Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch is the name of the most famous town in Wales: 58 letters, 3,000 inhabitants and the longest official name in Europe.
5. Why not drive a hovercraft? In England the future-technology of the 50s is still being used between Portsmouth and the Ilse of Wright is the last hovercraft ferry connection in the world. This summer the fleet will receive an additional two new boats, decorated in style with the Union Jack.
6. The best Indian food outside of India can be found in GB - and this without Delhi belly, guaranteed (lovely how elegantly the Brits avoid the word diarrhoea).
7. One of the British islands isn't really affected by the Brexit, because it was never really a part of the EU and didn't vote: the Isle of Man. It isn't even officially part of the UK, since it is autonomous. The Queen still rules but the laws are made by an independent parliament. This is how, for example, the old Gaelic Manx was made official language next to English, how the island became a tax oasis and how it can avoid having speed limits on most streets. This way you can enjoy the greenery even faster or quickly go to one of the local smokers to enjoy a smoked herring.
8. With 400,000 books and a spectacular architecture by the Dutch architecture firm Mecanoo, the new library in Birmingham has turned into the most visited tourist attraction in Britain outside of London. The wooden Shakespeare memorial room doesn't just contain the most important Shakespeare collection in the entire kingdom but also offers an impressive view on the Black Country.
9. The quaint pubs are slowly disappearing, unfortunately. Therefore it is worth to visit one while they are still there. In small towns they can always be found opposite churches.
10. You can get used to the bitter Brown Ale with a little practise. It is said that there is only very little carbon dioxide in there so that you can drink more.
11. Britain has a new weekly: The New European. Clever, critical, entertaining and pro-European. "The paper for the 48%" can be bought for £2.
12. As an opposite to the glass towers that seem to sprout all over London the massive concrete buildings from the post-war era are becoming more appealing. It is worth to visit these horrible old buildings before they get replaced with horrible new ones. A milestone of brutality of the British influence is the culture centre The Barbican and the National Theatre in London.
13. Grime is the best type of hip-hop. You can convince yourself of the legendary kaboom of this very British music genre by going to gigs of the rappers Skepta, Lethal Bizzle and Dizzie Rascal.
14. You can discover music here that you never thought you would like at record store Rough Trade. The shop in the hip Brick Lane resembles a concept store, rather than a classic record store, including photo box, gourmet-coffee and live gigs.
15. From the Aston Martin DB2 to the very first Land Rover ever built: with nearly 300 exhibits the British Motor Museum in Warwickshire has the world-wide biggest collection of automotive treasures made in the UK. Pity you can't drive them around yourself though.
16. They are now calling themselves the People's Republic of Lambeth, the people in Lambeth of which 78.6% voted remain - the highest percentage on the islands. But that's not the only reason why it is worth going to the South of the river, there are also some attractions: for example the London Eye, National Theatre and the Florence-Nightingale Museum
17. Founded in 1730, purveyor to the court, valued highly by James Bond: Floris in Jermyn Street in London is one of Britain's oldest perfume manufacturers. 007 inventor Ian Fleming was a regular, he loved the flowery-wooden Eau de Toilette No. 89 that was brought to the market in 1955.
18. Europe's most famous prehistoric monster hasn't been found by anyone yet, but it still attracts about a million tourists a year to the Loch Ness in Scotland.
19. At the Natural History Museum in London you can explore Nessie's possible relatives. We very much like the Tyrannosaurus Rex, a lifelike robot that snaps and roars at visitor. This way science is fun.
20. The English are the most polite people in the world and also refreshingly humorous. Tattooed bus drivers and rough cashiers address you with "Sorry, love", you have to queue everywhere and apologise for everything: "Sorry that my foot is underneath yours."
21. You don't have to fly to the Caribbean to see palm trees and white beaches, you can also find them in Cornwall. Here the sun is shining more often and there is less rain on average than there is in the rest of the country.
22. The Eurostar has the nicest name among trains with which you can comfortably go to Paris or Brussels, or to London by using the Euro tunnel, which the Brits are cheekily calling Channel Tunnel. And not just since the Brexit vote.
23. For decades Liverpool has been the withered flower of Britain from the industrial age. Then the EU pumped more than €1.5 billion into the broken worker city between 1994 and 2013. Since then Liverpool has risen from the ruins. Goal destination of architecture lovers, place of pilgrimage for Beatles fans, bearer of hope for the culture tourism industry. There is still a pro-EU atmosphere here, after all 51.4% voted remain.
24. The Brits haven't lost their black humour because of the Brexit vote. One, for example, tweeted that the next Bond film would only contain one scene: 007 at the border control in France for two hours. Another shows a picture of a pound coin and with the slogan: ‘Look what I just found, a 90 pence coin’.
25. England, Scotland and Wales have a total of 3500km of canals. Previously they served the transport of goods. Today you can comfortably sail through the country with a narrow boat. And the good thing is: you don't even need a license.
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