11 funny true stories:
1. In 1992, a suspicious looking package was delivered to the Territorial Army center in Bristol, UK.
With no record of where it had come from and the possibility it could be dangerous, the TA eventually decided they should call the Police.
The Police soon arrived and took stock of the situation before swiftly deciding that this wasn't a job for them either, and so they called in the Army Bomb Disposal Experts.
When the Army arrived, they evacuated the area and sealed it off, before carrying out a controlled explosion on the suspicious looking package.
It was only after the device had been made safe that it was discovered that the package was in fact a parcel full of leaflets on How to deal with suspicious looking packages.
The Territorial Army, the Police and the Army congratulated themselves on a job well done.
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2. A Turkish man driving through a Swiss town became fascinated by a strange box that seemed to emit a flash of light when he drove past it. Confused, he decided to turn around and drive past it a second time to try and see if it would happen again.
Sure enough, as he went past it in the other direction it flashed him once more. Determined to work out the cause of the flashing, he sped up and drove past it again from the original direction and once again it flashed at him. Two roundabouts - within 100 yards of the box - allowed him to investigate it fully a number of times at ever increasing speeds.
He cleverly worked out that the box was in fact a speed camera, but this successful deduction had cost him 4 separate speeding convictions in less than 2 minutes. Unfortunately for the inquisitive driver, the eagle-eyed police investigating the incident also noticed that he hadn't been wearing his seat-belt at the time, and so fined him for that offense as well.
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3. A police officer called to the scene of a domestic dispute decided that the only way to bring the situation to a swift end was to use his Taser gun on the husband of the woman who called.
With his gun at the ready, he prepared to shoot.
His first shot missed the man, and instead managed to hit the family cat.
The second shot also missed, and this time hit the son's teenage friend.
He missed again with the third shot, but on the upside he had managed to avoid hitting any of the bystanders. With the taser gun now empty, the officer reloaded and prepared to fire again.
In a triumph for marksmanship, the officer accidentally hit himself with the fourth shot.
Shot five and six then hit the ceiling, and after fully discharging the weapon twice and failing to hit the man once, the policeman finally abandoned the Taser and reached for his pepper spray.
This 'safety first' approach also failed, as he managed to discharge it in the face of the man's daughter, who had just walked in.
Eventually realizing that this policeman was doing more damage then he ever could, the man decided to give himself up.
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4. A woman in Penn valley, California, entered a local store with one thing on her mind - theft.
After picking up a few items from around the store, she ducked down between the aisles to conceal her contraband. She made sure that she was not seen by the Clark, but sadly did not display the same level of vigilance for the surveillance camera that was pointing directly at her.
She then walked confidently up to the counter and paid for only one item. The shop assistant, unaware at this stage that her bag was stuffed with concealed goods from the store, allowed her to leave. However, on her way out the thief noticed a stall, selling tickets for a local raffle. Emboldened by her success and perhaps believing that this was her lucky day, she stopped by the stall to enter the raffle and left the shop in the hope of further riches to come.
But the stars, it seems, were not in alignment for her that day as soon after she had returned home, she received a knock at the door from the police. They had managed to track her down using her name, address and phone number that she had supplied the organizers of the raffle, and thus the store. They arrested her immediately.
Fortune, it seems, does not favor the foolish.
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5. In March 2008, a masked man walked into a Chicago garage in an attempted hold up.
18 year old Ruben Zarate pulled out his gun and asked the staff to hand over whatever money they had over at the site.
One of the mechanics politely explained that what little money they did have was in a safe that only the manager could open, and that he would not be back until the afternoon. Interestingly, Mr. Zarate decided that his best option was to leave his phone number and get the manager to call him when he returned.
Sure enough, later that afternoon he received a call from the manager of the garage, so he returned and repeated his request.
However, it turned out that Zarate hadn't been the garage manager's first call, and this he realized as soon as the two plain-clothed police officers waiting there for him arrested him.
The next phone call he made was to a lawyer.
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6. In October 1987, Mathieu Boya of Benin was practicing his golf in a field next to the national Air Base. He hit what he later described as a 'glorious slice', which sailed high into the air and hit a passing bird.
The stunned creature fell directly into the open cockpit of one of Benin's five Mirage Jets that was taxiing on the runway. The startled pilot jumped out as he lost control of the plane, which ploughed straight into the only other four planes in Benin's Air Force.
The ensuing fireball wiped out all five planes - in fact, it wiped out Benin's entire air-force at an estimated cost of forty million dollars.
As the bill would have taken Mathieu Boya 145,000 years to repay on his current wage, he was sent to jail and given a lifetime ban from playing golf.
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7. A young man called David managed to somehow break his arm after falling over a dog.
But after successfully getting a cast fitted at the hospital, he decided the best way to recuperate was to go out to a party and get really drunk. After passing out due to the cocktail of medicinal-grade drugs and alcohol, his friends decided to help him out be decorating his cast with rude images and words.
The next morning, however, it turned out that David's parents did not have the same enthusiasm for their handiwork.
David decided to rectify this situation by removing the images from his resin cast with some white spirit. The liquid immediately burnt through the cast and then began burning his skin. Quick as a flash, David decided to alleviate the pain by smashing what remained of the cast to pieces with a hammer. But this technique had mixed results;
Because, despite successfully removing the cast, he also successfully managed to break his arm in several other places.
David returned to the hospital to have a second cast fitted on his arm, but this time returned straight home.
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8. A 42-year old carpenter from Vancouver decided to follow his dreams and become a stuntman.
He concluded the best way to achieve this was with a live audition at the Vancouver Film Festival. His plan was to bungee jump from the Lions Gate Bridge during the festival and then descend onto the deck of a passing cruise ship with the eyes of the film world watching.
For 2 years he checked tide charts and boat schedules, he lined up sponsors and recruited assistants.
On the big day when everything was ready, he majestically swan-dived from the bridge as planned.
He only realized his bungee cord was a little too long when he majestically crashed onto the deck of the boat. As it sailed away he was dragged along the entire length of the boat, over the stern railing and into the water beneath.
His film career failed to take off, but police got their people to see his people almost immediately.
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9. A West-Virginian man decided to take a long standing termite infestation in his home into his own hands.
Opting against expensive and professional solutions, he decided that DIY fumigation was the best way forward. So, turning on all the gas and shutting all the doors and windows to prevent the gas escaping, he retired for the evening to let nature take it's course.
Emerging the next morning, the man approached the house and opened the door to survey his handiwork.
Unfortunately, he was unable to do this as a slight spark caused by by the door latch opening ignited the gas that now filled his entire house. It was immediately engulfed in a giant fireball.
Not only was the man blown into a nearby creek, but the telephone and electricity supplies to the town were destroyed and the doors blown off the local church. The blast was heard up to 6 miles away.
The termite nest, however, had been destroyed.
Unfortunately, so had the house. The uninsured man received severe burns and an enormous gas bill.
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10. In October 2011, Shaun Falkner was a man on a mission.
Sitting in a Pennsylvania gastro pub one Sunday afternoon, he ordered a sandwich he didn't intend to pay for.
When it was place in front of him, he swiped the sandwich along with the plate and ran out of the door. The perfect crime needs the perfect getaway vehicle, so having surveyed all his options he opted for a nearby forklift to add to his list of stolen items and make good his escape.
The bemused staff immediately informed the Police but Falkner was already on his way. Luckily for the Police, the thief was making slow progress on his sluggish mode of transport.
He'd only made it as far as the parking lot next to the pub when they caught up with him.
He was charged with theft and receiving stolen property, but enjoyed his sandwich very much.
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11. During the U.K winter in 2010/2011, a woman in Lincolnshire went for a walk in the snow.
As she was walking through the woods, she saw something that panicked her and made her get back home as quickly as she could. Upon getting home and calming down, she then rang the Police and informed them that she had seen a Yeti in the woods.
The Police responded to her call and began to search the surrounding areas in search of the Yeti. Unexpectedly, they did indeed find the creature that the woman had seen, but with a more logical explanation. As it turned out, the Yeti was in fact an 80 year old man who had gone for a walk in the snow, dressed as Chewbacca from Star Wars.
After clearing up the incident and having a giggle about it, the man was let go. It's likely he'll think twice before going out in his Wookiee costume again.
XD He made some good points in that one, though, like Elsa not having food in her ice castle and Kristoff not recognizing Anna as an adult. (Actually, I myself don't recognize people when they're older and look different, but for some reason NTs seem to.)
