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There's a lot of overthinking going on here recently.

ONE.jpg
There are thoughts and music/songs, running in my head constantly that I am not deliberately creating.
They are like a back ground noise or the Muzak in the store. They are a part of my experience of
existance. Perhaps it is like a receiver for the universal ALL.
The one time I tried Prozac, it slowed down the continous thoughts and I didn't like how it felt.
It felt like my brain had been given a shot of novacaine.

Even though I like this time of night with no noise, there is noise.
Tinnitus- an ever ringing in the ears. It would be nice to experience the quiet without it, but, it is there.
There is also a sound that I don't really hear until the electricity suddenly shuts off.
Then I am aware something that I am used to is gone. There is a difference.
Even though it may seem silent, it isn't. The electricity running through the house must make
a sound level I'm not aware of.
I've heard others speak of this. It's not the buzz either that many say then can hear.
Sound is also multiple levels. So may be thoughts?
What IS a thought anyway? Science, last I knew, still had not found the seat of the mind. Thoughts.
All the little consciousnesses, each thinking they are individual, each connected to the all of ONE.
 
What IS a thought anyway?
Good question. And who is doing the thinking?
Am I thinking, or is thinking happening within me, and can I ever really know that what I call me is not just the result of another thought?

None of this is easy to think about. How can thought ever really think about itself anyway?

Perhaps I am just an idea. A conglomeration of thoughts. The sum of a lifetime of thinking and believing in what has been thought. And yet I have also experienced thoughtlessness. The fleeting feeling of what it means to go beyond thought through psychedelic assistance. And yet I also find myself noticing a song sometimes, repeating itself within me, without having chosen to think about it. I do notice my thoughts far more than I identify with them though. That helps a lot.
 
There is also a sound that I don't really hear until the electricity suddenly shuts off.
Then I am aware something that I am used to is gone. There is a difference.
Even though it may seem silent, it isn't. The electricity running through the house must make
a sound level I'm not aware of

Yes, yes it does! I don't know what causes it but to me it is a hum. Almost more felt than heard.
 
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I took a class on personality types in grad school, and had to take the official Myers Briggs Type indicator test. My test results were notable because I was an extreme INTJ with my mapping off the chart in introversion (extremely high) and feeling (extremely low). Also I was very high in thinking preference. My professor flagged my result and indicated I might have other issues, but did not elaborate. I now think my autism influenced my MBTI results.

Later in this same class we had a substitute professor who was also an INTJ. My personality type preferences were so strong that she called me out within 15 minutes as an INTJ. I was actually embarrassed that I was so different from all other students in the class.
 
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Perhaps one persons 'overthinking' is another persons ' processing at a deeper level'

I'll stop thinking when I'm dead.
Until then, my neural networks will continue to function as they always have, it's up to me to choose how I wish to process and action any thoughts, if at all.
 

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