Things you learnt about autism since joining forums

[Misty Avich]

Although I was diagnosed sooooo incredibly young for a non-obvious, non-stereotypical female Aspie, I was still rather clueless about autism until I joined autism sites at age 20.

I used to think people on the spectrum can't own dogs as pets because of their loud barking (I grew up with cats and was terrified of dogs). It surprised me to learn that so many autistic people own dogs

I used to think all people on the spectrum are diagnosed no later than age 8

I used to think autism is diagnosed by how you behaved at school, particularly on your first day. So whenever someone said about someone being diagnosed with an ASD, I always wondered if they had been 'naughty' on their first day of school in order to get that diagnosis

I used to think autistic teenagers are unable to make friends


This thread isn't about me, it's for general discussion of your experiences. What false things did you used to believe about autism before the internet or when you just relied on Tony Attwood's book on Asperger's Syndrome, which was all completely stereotypical and blanket-statemented?

 

[Shamar]

Although I was diagnosed sooooo incredibly young for a non-obvious, non-stereotypical female Aspie, I was still rather clueless about autism until I joined autism sites at age 20.

I used to think people on the spectrum can't own dogs as pets because of their loud barking (I grew up with cats and was terrified of dogs). It surprised me to learn that so many autistic people own dogs

I used to think all people on the spectrum are diagnosed no later than age 8

I used to think autism is diagnosed by how you behaved at school, particularly on your first day. So whenever someone said about someone being diagnosed with an ASD, I always wondered if they had been 'naughty' on their first day of school in order to get that diagnosis

I used to think autistic teenagers are unable to make friends


This thread isn't about me, it's for general discussion of your experiences. What false things did you used to believe about autism before the internet or when you just relied on Tony Attwood's book on Asperger's Syndrome, which was all completely stereotypical and blanket-statemented?

I had heard of autism, of course, but never thought anything about it. Then, at age 60, I was diagnosed at the suggestion of a job counselor. I was confused at first, then, as I started to learn more about it, I understood how it had controlled my life without my knowing it. Now, I am fairly knowledgeable, and understand how I can live with it. And I am still pissed off about it never having been noticed, despite all the so called professionals I saw for the problems autism was causing.

I used to think people on the spectrum can't own dogs as pets because of their loud barking (I grew up with cats and was terrified of dogs). It surprised me to learn that so many autistic people own dogs

Since I am allergic to cats, I'm a dog person. I have been lucky enough to have had dogs that don't bark unless necessary (although my current dog, Dingo, does bark at other dogs, but mainly a "Come over here and let's play" type of bark).

I used to think autism is diagnosed by how you behaved at school, particularly on your first day. So whenever someone said about someone being diagnosed with an ASD, I always wondered if they had been 'naughty' on their first day of school in order to get that diagnosis

None of my teachers ever noticed anything wrong, although in those days autism was not on the radar. I was simply considered undisciplined, not caring, extremely shy, and a bit weird.

I used to think autistic teenagers are unable to make friends

I have never had any friends. At all, as I understand the concept.

I have written about this before, and I apologize for the repetition, but there always seems to be new members who have not seen it yet.

 

[jsilver256]

Mostly that there is nothing wrong with my brain or heart. Just that my perception of both were wrong.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Things I've learned about autism since joining the forums:

Personally, since my diagnosis, I have taken a deep dive into the literature on "all things autism" and have learned quite a bit about the condition through the literature. However, the literature, does not address the real issues of real people on the autism spectrum in real time. The forums have helped in a few ways:
(1) For the first time I was interacting with people experiencing some of the same things I was, and therefore realized I wasn't alone.
(2) The amount of diversity within the community, which is a real asset to the forum.
(3) Access to a community of people that genuinely want to share their thoughts, ask questions, obtain answers, are not afraid to "info dump", and not afraid to explain things in a more thorough manner.
(4) Many of us have a lot to say, which suggests a lot of thought and a level of intellect that is refreshing.

 

[Tired]

I grew up hearing that having autism means being retarded. Making fun of each other's stupidity, people in Serbia, Russia, and Ukraine - three countries I know very well - call each other autists and retards. That's what I had in mind about autism before I came across this forum, and I was also looking at other sources at the same time. Oh boy was I up for a surprise.

 

[Boogs]

I used to think...

I used to think I was no different from everyone else, just really rubbish at most of the things they could do with (apparent) ease!
[so that was an eye opener when I finally caught on! ]

And I am still pissed off about it never having been noticed, despite all the so called professionals I saw for the problems autism was causing.

Well I managed to get to 60 before someone opened the curtains for me, and my dad was a psychiatrist and my mum a teacher, and neither worked out that my high intelligence vs my awful school performance wasn't something more than just laziness. Got IQ tested at about 8, hit the top few percent, and after that they figured there couldn't be anything else wrong, just intransigence! (I think they reckoned I did it to spite them, both being high academic achievers and automatically expected the same from their kids ).

The funniest bit for me, was first learning I was a complete aphantasic, and for about 6 months spent learning more about it, every mention of it being frequently associated with autism, I was in complete denial of realising that was me! I had many of the prejudices NT's have about it - "That can't be me, I can talk and work and function!" (well, I say function, but ...), all I knew about it were the autistic people (the ASD3's) who needed constant support and couldn't live independently, which I had had an adult lifetime of doing (badly) by then.
To be faced with the reality of it was quite a surprise at the time.

Funnily enough, while it wasn't quite the same situation, it brought back a memory from the Burrough's book Queer...
"I shall never forget the unspeakable horror that froze the lymph in my glands when the baneful word seared my reeling brain—I was a homosexual."

Replace homosexual with autistic! (I wasn't horrified about it, just taken aback enormously, a bit unbelieving at first, but it did still make me recall that quote afterwards! (noir humour!))

And for good measure, I can't resist including the hilarious end of that passage... (just because I can! )

"And a wise old queen—Bobo, we called her—taught me that I had a duty to live and bear my burden proudly for all to see. Poor Bobo came to a sticky end - he was riding in the Duke Devanche's Hispano Suissa when his falling hemorrhoids blew out of the car and wrapped around the rear wheel. He was completely gutted leaving an empty shell sitting there on the giraffe skin upholstry. Even the eyes and the brain went with a horrible "shlupping" sound. The Duke says he would carry that ghastly "shlup" with him to his mausoleum."

 

[Shamar]

Things I've learned about autism since joining the forums:

Personally, since my diagnosis, I have taken a deep dive into the literature on "all things autism" and have learned quite a bit about the condition through the literature. However, the literature, does not address the real issues of real people on the autism spectrum in real time. The forums have helped in a few ways:
(1) For the first time I was interacting with people experiencing some of the same things I was, and therefore realized I wasn't alone.
(2) The amount of diversity within the community, which is a real asset to the forum.
(3) Access to a community of people that genuinely want to share their thoughts, ask questions, obtain answers, are not afraid to "info dump", and not afraid to explain things in a more thorough manner.
(4) Many of us have a lot to say, which suggests a lot of thought and a level of intellect that is refreshing.

DITTO!!

 

[Misty Avich]

I used to think I was the only person in the world with ASD. Well, I met one autistic boy when I was a kid, but he was very severely affected and was non-verbal, so I thought to myself "and I'm supposed to have the same condition as him?" Otherwise I'd never met another Aspie like me, who was diagnosed anyway.

 

[8398]

I realized that, just because I could find a forum with other autistics, didn’t mean I would necessarily be more likely to find friends. Cuz’ everyone is still really unique from each other. It’s more like I’ve found admiration for other autistics.

 

[Misty Avich]

I've made some good friends on these forums, which I am grateful for. But I've also unwillingly made more enemies than I have in real life. I very seldom make enemies in real life. And 9 out of 10 enemies I unwillingly made on autism sites strangely seem to be other women.

 

[Cryptid]

Things you learnt about autism since joining forums

• It wasn't my fault that bullies found me easy to victimize.
• It wasn't my fault that cold, dark, and quiet environments were the most "friendly" to me.
• It wasn't my fault that I got along better with animals than with people.
• It wasn't my fault that others considered me "weird" and avoided me.
• It wasn't my fault that school was boring and dull.

 

[Boogs]

It was my fault to be born this way,
I know this 'cos the normal's do say.
They complain that I'm in disarray,
And emotions I can not display.
Of course I learnt to always downplay,
My ever present and deep dismay.
And no matter how much I inveigh,
All I have is a little wordplay.

 

[Jonn]

It surprised me to learn that so many autistic people own dogs

Spoiler

Well, I SAY they are my K9 kids...
But in reality they are baby dragons.
"jacarandas!"

This thread isn't about me, it's for general discussion of your experiences. What false things did you used to believe about autism before the internet or when you just relied on Tony Attwood's book on Asperger's Syndrome, which was all completely stereotypical and blanket-statemented?

I believed most ppl on the spectrum were fair-minded, super-honest, and totally logical.

 

[Jonn]

I have never had any friends. At all, as I understand the concept.

Pretty much the same.
Until very recently.

 

[Jonn]

I used to think I was the only person in the world with ASD. Well, I met one autistic boy when I was a kid, but he was very severely affected and was non-verbal, so I thought to myself "and I'm supposed to have the same condition as him?" Otherwise I'd never met another Aspie like me, who was diagnosed anyway.

I have.
I seem to gravitate towards ppl on the spectrum in RL.

 

[Jonn]

I've made some good friends on these forums, which I am grateful for. But I've also unwillingly made more enemies than I have in real life. I very seldom make enemies in real life. And 9 out of 10 enemies I unwillingly made on autism sites strangely seem to be other women.

I am stubborn...
Extremely stubborn at times...
Of course I made quite a few enemies.

 

[Shamar]

• It wasn't my fault that bullies found me easy to victimize.
• It wasn't my fault that cold, dark, and quiet environments were the most "friendly" to me.
• It wasn't my fault that I got along better with animals than with people.
• It wasn't my fault that others considered me "weird" and avoided me.
• It wasn't my fault that school was boring and dull.

As I said to Neonatal RRT - - DITTO!!

 

[UFO]

Some corrections to my prejudices I made when I began to seriously find out what autism actually is:
- Autism is not being a math super genius and being otherwise retarded (my previous knowledge about autism came from Hollywood)
- Autism is not a homogeneous condition (every autist is different, just like every neuronormal is different).
- Some traits I thought to be core traits in autism are just rare exceptions (again, Rainman-things: good memory on strangest things, savantism, passivity...)
- Two traits can be polar opposites and thus mutually exclusive, but both still can be autistic traits ("I can't be autist because I am <something>").
- If I don't have some symptom, it doesn't mean that I am not an autist. If I have some symptom, it doesn't mean that I am an autist. (Words "spectrum" and "syndrome" emphasized...)
- Active members of these forums are no different from people in any other forum. (Of course, this might be because of a bias: I see only those autists that are communicative and socially adept enough to express themselves in public and coherent way).
- Autists can have imagination, they can think abstractly, they can lie and deceive if necessary, they can understand and make quite elaborate jokes...
- I have thought that my (selected) symptoms are very mild ones, but there seem to be people who actually are diagnosed and their (selected) symptoms are even milder than mine (!).
- Literature about autism is a mess. Understanding of what autism actually is and how it should be diagnosed are things that are still under development. (Thought this applies to pretty much all psychiatric literature - it is not an exact science like physics)

 

[Misty Avich]

Another thing I was surprised to learn since joining forums is that many autistics drink alcohol and smoke weed. I don't know why but I always thought autistic people were too moral for that and less likely to get involved with peer pressure.

 

[Boogs]

Another thing I was surprised to learn since joining forums is that many autistics drink alcohol and smoke weed. I don't know why but I always thought autistic people were too moral for that and less likely to get involved with peer pressure.

Self medication is prevalent among many.
I remember discovering at about age 10 (give or take) there were things called drugs that changed how your mind worked. Even at that age and ignorance, I immediately wanted to try them! I can't remember my thoughts on the matter but it's telling I wanted to change my thought patterns even back then.