Things you learnt about autism since joining forums

[Misty Avich]

When I was a kid I had a sense of innocence where I didn't know about drugs, even though I used to watch South Park at like age 10. But I still didn't really think much of drug use. I thought it was silly.
In the early Christmas episode of South Park (Mr Hankey The Christmas Poo) when Mr Mackey said to Kyle "keep away from drugs and alcohol" I used to think he said "keep away from germs and alcohol".

When I was a teenager I sort of knew about drugs but was rather oblivious that anyone in my school did them, probably because people I hung around with weren't into that sort of thing.

Actually I remember a boy passed a note around the class which said "a friend indeed is a friend with weed". Although I was 16 I didn't know what it meant, I thought he was on about gardening. That's how innocent I was.

 

[jsilver256]

Another thing I was surprised to learn since joining forums is that many autistics drink alcohol and smoke weed. I don't know why but I always thought autistic people were too moral for that and less likely to get involved with peer pressure.

I had that perception as well.

It was nice to know why I was drinking, finally.

 

[James45]

Although this is the only forum I am on, it has aided in shifting my denial towards my diagnosis, in hearing about other's similar life experiences which resonate with my own.

A recent thing I have learnt is to find distance from my special interests, observe them more for what they are and appreciate them for the solace they give my brain.

When I am very caught up in them I lose this awareness, but it is a relief to observe behaviour in yourself and understand why it is occurring.

I think an autistic brain without a strong focus is liable to self destruct or at least the tendency is there, almost feeds on itself, I wish I had understood this earlier in life.

 

[Seladon]

I used to think people on the spectrum can't own dogs as pets because of their loud barking (I grew up with cats and was terrified of dogs). It surprised me to learn that so many autistic people own dogs

Dog lover and owner here! Still in my parents' attic there's a box with photos of me as a toddler sat on the backs of the hunting dogs my dad used to have on the farm.

I've taken care of or owned several hounds in my life. My current one is a soppy fathead lab, who still acts like a puppy though he's five now. He's no use for hunting and not in the least bit intimidating, though because of his size and dark colour people sometimes jump or give a wide berth when they first see him at a distance...until he wags and wriggles and gives them big brown eyes and begs for a cwtch, and that all goes away He's a pedigree, and I theorise his needy baby-ish behaviour persists because he might have been taken away from his mum a few weeks early. Very loveable and charming if stupid dog.

 

[Boogs]

It was nice to know why I was drinking, finally.

When I was about 10 y.o. I read about these things called drugs, and that they made your mind work differently (psychoactive drugs, that is), and despite knowing nothing more about them or ever hearing of this before (that I knew of) I was immediately attracted to this possibility that I could 'change my mind'. It took about another 6/7 years before finding a route to trying this (I tried alcohol early, but it was just an anaesthetic, not a psychoactive, it just turned my mind to mush and ruined coordination et al).

 

[Seladon]

As for what I've learned about ASD...honestly, being here has taught me that autism really isn't some kind of automatic grounds for community or relating to others.

Don't get me wrong; I like posting here and I like some of the posters here, but honestly I can't say my experience always or even often aligns with others, nor that I feel like I have a 'tribe' on the .com. Sometimes people on this board say things or share parts of their journey, and I'm completely confused as to how they've arrived at that point, sometimes even alarmed that they're thinking or believing certain things. It's clear that both the neurological differences and the social stigma that sadly accrues can really warp how some see the world, and while it's not fair and not their fault, it is their responsibility to address that.

Being here has been...eye-opening and instructive, let's say. I'm definitely going to apply the same caution when socialising with and befriending autistic people irl as I do for neurotypicals.

 

[jsilver256]

When I was about 10 y.o. I read about these things called drugs, and that they made your mind work differently (psychoactive drugs, that is), and despite knowing nothing more about them or ever hearing of this before (that I knew of) I was immediately attracted to this possibility that I could 'change my mind'. It took about another 6/7 years before finding a route to trying this (I tried alcohol early, but it was just an anaesthetic, not a psychoactive, it just turned my mind to mush and ruined coordination et al).

In reflection, I've always had severe issues with sensory overload, social anxiety and selective mutism. I just thought I was stupid and awkward. Alcohol suppressed all those and loosened my thoughts/tongue. With dopamine on top of that.

 

[Misty Avich]

Another thing I have learnt is so many autistic people drive a car and have children. I'm not saying I thought autistics were stupid or anything, but having children usually requires relationships and it's a lot of hard work for people who can become easily overloaded. Also driving a car requires responsibility. We seem to accomplish more than what, say, people with Downs syndrome do.

 

[Tired]

having children usually requires relationships and it's a lot of hard work for people who can become easily overloaded

That's a good point, I would like to know does it mean, that most autistic parents left their kids to be taken care of by another partner, or did they somehow tolerated the noise and stuff, or maybe they enjoyed it a lot?

 

[jsilver256]

That's a good point, I would like to know does it mean, that most autistic parents left their kids to be taken care of by another partner, or did they somehow tolerated the noise and stuff, or maybe they enjoyed it a lot?

Can't speak for others, but my spouse stayed home and took care of the kids, and I'm deaf.

 

[Tired]

Can't speak for others, but my spouse stayed home and took care of the kids, and I'm deaf.

Interesting, that means you never were overwhelmed by sounds? Does it make your other senses more sharp, or you don't have with that to compare? You don't need to answer, of course, just me being inquisitive

 

[Boogs]

In reflection, I've always had severe issues with sensory overload, social anxiety and selective mutism. I just thought I was stupid and awkward. Alcohol suppressed all those and loosened my thoughts/tongue. With dopamine on top of that.

That makes a lot of sense actually, alcohol acts as a dampener, which is why it loosens inhibitions (and coordination).
There's also, despite my self-righteous sounding downer on booze, other factors such as metabolism, and how that alcohol is processed, with some races having gene's that lower this and hence make them more sensitive to it's effects (the Japanese are a classic example I've read of).

I process it too fast, and would get what I could only assume is a hangover, while drinking, yet mornings after were fine! I gravitated to opiates eventually, which worked really well as they left me physically capable and depressed most emotions and anxieties more than they depressed cognitive function, leaving me much more capable (at first).

Unfortunately, these tend to be short terms solutions, and work less and less well over time, above and beyond the tolerance issues, bringing their own new problems on top of the one's I took them for.
My hindsight says don't try them - if they don't work so well for someone then they may as well not bother, if they work too well, then addiction is highly likely. My younger self would have told my wiser (?) older self to get stuffed as he (Boogs younger) 'knew what he was doing'! And interestingly, he wasn't completely wrong either!
But the downsides usually catch up and overtake the upsides.

 

[jsilver256]

Interesting, that means you never were overwhelmed by sounds?

no, deaf means deaf. I have zero hearing.

Does it make your other senses more sharp, or you don't have with that to compare? You don't need to answer, of course, just me being inquisitive

I am unfortunately very sensitive to visual stimuli, especially motion. I've never seen an autistic complain about motion sensitiveness. Visual motions are my #1 trigger.

Lately, I haven't been able to watch videos some nights because the cuts alone overwhelm me.

 

[Tired]

no, deaf means deaf. I have zero hearing.


I am unfortunately very sensitive to visual stimuli, especially motion. I've never seen an autistic complain about motion sensitiveness. Visual motions are my #1 trigger.

Lately, I haven't been able to watch videos some nights because the cuts alone overwhelm me.

Oh, I see. Thank you for answers, I hope it'll get back to the milder way it was before.

 

[jsilver256]

Oh, I see. Thank you for answers, I hope it'll get back to the milder way it was before.

Probably not. It was milder when I had alcohol addiction. Alcohol damages that part of the brain.

From what I've read, the neural pathways are at their peak of self-repair between months 4-6. And stabilize at the end of month 6. I'm right there.

But I'm fine with it. It's not a bad thing to be reading books in the evening.

 

[Boogs]

I've never seen an autistic complain about motion sensitiveness.

That's because I haven't had time to rant about it yet!
Visually I am horribly focussed on very small details, and also movements. I 'hallucinate' things moving in my peripheral vision from time to time (like a spider crawling fast across a wall, but nothing there when I turn to look).

Unless I'm distracted in thought, when out and about I have very acute situational awareness, watching people 100 metres ahead through the crowds, constantly trying to appraise all movement, keeping aware of what's behind and to the sides, etc. without making it obvious. Picking up in any visual change I can detect.

I can't task switch well or quickly, so if I get distracted by something, even an internal thought, I'll suddenly and without awareness become totally oblivious of everything around me and wrapped up in thought, and can just walk in front of a car or something stupid like that (more likely just walk into someone accidentally), totally opposite behaviour.

 

[Boogs]

It's not a bad thing to be reading books in the evening.

It's the best thing in the world (depending on what books they are, I guess! )

 

[Outdated]

When I was growing up we'd never heard of autism but I knew I was different from age 5. Except for one of my grandfathers every bit of advice everyone ever gave me was wrong. From my parents, from teachers, from doctors.

I learnt from a very early age that any information anyone ever tried to give me about myself was completely wrong and trying to follow any of it was going to make my life worse, not better. This played out as true all my life, even after I learned about autism in my late 40s.

To this day I haven't taken a single one of those online autism tests, I haven't watched even one video about autism and I haven't read any "official" documentation about autism. Throughout my whole life everything like that has always been so wrong and so misinformed that I have a psychological block against it and the mere suggestion that I should take note of any of it causes me stress.

When I first came to this forum I met a lot of people that were very similar to me in many ways, I had already worked out most things about myself and understood myself quite well but meeting others here let me know that I was in fact quite normal. It made me feel a lot more comfortable in myself.

I am unfortunately very sensitive to visual stimuli, especially motion. I've never seen an autistic complain about motion sensitiveness. Visual motions are my #1 trigger.

I find flickering and flashing lights extremely disturbing and have to turn away from them. I learnt many years ago how to turn off gif animations in my web browser because they make a lot of the internet inaccessible to me.

 

[Misty Avich]

I don't have many sensory issues. I have misophonia and I'm also easily startled (I call it "my nerves"), and some extreme low or extreme high sounds can hurt my ear drums (I'm more sensitive to loud high-pitched sounds and quieter low-pitched sounds). But my doctor told me it's due to perforated eardrums.
Also I have a low threshold for pain and I can be very squeamish. I'm so sensitive to pain that I've had to take the contraceptive pill continuously because I was getting too many unbearable symptoms with periods. So now I only have to put up with having a period twice a year. So you can understand why I have never been pregnant. I'm too squeamish to have a living thing growing inside me and needing to come out somehow. Too messy, too painful. Makes me wish I was a man there because they get to be biological parents without going through pregnancy or labour.

That's about it with sensory issues for me.

 

[Boogs]

Ok, here's one to see if others have come across it. I'm not even sure it's an autistic behaviour as such, but sometimes I start thinking in rhymes. Not like they come out directly as full verses in one go, but more like couplets, and also rhyming within a sentence using rhyming words but without meter.
Like: my text requires context except the subtext is annexed - that sort of thing. I'm also very attracted to limericks, poems by people like Lewis Carroll, or Searle, some Kipling, etc. Clever catchy wordplay rather than anything evocative of emotion or imagery (I'm totally non-visual internally, words only).