trouble with recognizing people

[Boogs]

My wife dyes her hair on occasion, too many fake blonde now her turn to be fake, red, purple, black only issue I never notice .

Maybe that's for the best?
(er, not noticing, that is!)

 

[Boogs]

I want to say that I had such an issues in the past. However in the present I interact with far fewer faces now as a retired person who lives a rather reclusive life in general. Apparently not an issue for me any more.

Funnily enough, I've been working from home full time since the pandemic started, and (having also been out of work for a few years prior to that) realised that the constant stress of being around people at work all the time was just gone! I didn't notice when I was unemployed as it was normal (no job = not having to be in office - hence no stress), so when I started working from home, I'd only started the job a few weeks prior, and hadn't really had time to notice the build up of anxiety yet (in fact, was barely even aware of what it was beyond just being work-related awfulness, my being undiagnosed then), and then sent home with so many distractions, it was much much later I suddenly realised that I wasn't so stressed out end of every day, and very much down to how many meetings/calls I had to deal with. Now, I'd have to have some extremely big motivation to work elsewhere if it meant having to work directly with people again. I know it's not really the best thing for me, just pandering to my weaknesses, but hell, it's so nice not to always feel that way, and worse, know the next morning it's back to it again.

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Maybe that's for the best?
(er, not noticing, that is!)

She finds it amusing.

 

[Boogs]

She finds it amusing.

What, changing hair colour, or you not noticing?
My, er, gentler half of yore, would basically decide it must mean I don't love her at all! After all, I can't even be bothered to look at her and remember what she looked like the next time I saw her!
"The case, it is sol-ved", as Inspector Clouseau would say! Good enough for her.
And as for my stimming by pinching the skin on my neck when on the phone (I hate phone calls), the resulting bruise would only ever rarely be assumed not to be my latest affair of the heart (if only I'd had even a tenth of what I was accused of, I could die an exhausted, if not happy guy! ).
It was about 10 years after marriage she actually saw one appear before her eyes when I was on the phone, and finally decided there was an infinitesimally small chance I may once not of been lying about it!
Maybe. ("But don't let it go to your head Boogs, I've still got a rolling pin with your name on it!" - she was a sweetie really!).
No she wasn't!
Shut up you! It was ages ago!
Well it don't feel like it to me!
Grow up, sheesh!
But what about the hicky on my ...
[We interrupt this broadcast for an urgent excuse not to read any more of this drivel! Thank you for listening]

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

MY wife knows me so she does not let it get to her. you would think me being an expert in colour would notice a colour change in hair.

 

[Boogs]

MY wife knows me so she does not let it get to her. you would think me being an expert in colour would notice a colour change in hair.

Colour expert?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Colour expert?

Prior to retirement I made my living measuring and controlling colour, on various paints and inks. previous positions included automotive and appliances. I controlled at lot of colour others take for granted.

 

[Boogs]

Prior to retirement I made my living measuring and controlling colour, on various paints and inks. previous positions included automotive and appliances. I controlled at lot of colour others take for granted.

Ah! That sounds pretty technical - what a surprise on this forum!!

 

[Aspergers_Aspie]

Tldr: let coworkers or people who seem like they would be friends that you have facial recognition issues and that you might not recognize them sometimes, or it might take a while to learn their name, but your not being rude or ignoring them! Has been life changing for me

This is how I first identified my autism. I was looking into my face blindness or facial recognition issues. And saw so many links to autism. One paper actually suggested that the inability to recognize faces could possibly be the cause of social issues in autism, so definitely an issue in the community.
Personally I think of it as biggest issue most debilitating one. It has prevented or ended a number of relationships and caused a great deal of stress. I now just tell everyone (who seems significant, not literally everyone) that I have this issue, and how to react. And it has helped so much! When someone bumps into me somewhere and acts like I should know them instead of crippling dread I just explain that I don't recognize faces that I probably mentioned that to them and most of them are actually kinda interested or even exited (strange but that's how I see it) and say something like oh yeah you said that... we used to work together here remember we did this or that and then I can often place them and actually connect with them on some level. Sometimes I still don't know but I can either fake it if I want or just realize they were some one time acquaintance and not have to worry all day I maybe insulted my mother-in-law or boss or whatever.
Also at work I tell everyone, and then when I don't know them the next time I see then or can't come up with their name when I'm stressed I just reminded them of my issue, with a half hearted apology and it kinda puts the onus on them to be polite about it and it really does work most of the time.
And for making friends I still have big issues, but if I see someone and connect I explicitly tell them at the end about the face issue and say I probably won't recognize them but if they want to connect to just say hi and mention that they are the person who do X or whatever, then kinda joke or if you don't want to meet me again, just say nothing and I'll be a stranger
Sorry long and poorly written I get excited about my own personal "fix" and have to head to work so can't proof read it well, but since I just started being super open with this it has helped so much.

I personally find facial recognition both creepy and an invasion of privacy. There are groups against facial recognition a person can join.

 

[Neri]

Yesterday, I had one such moment. I went to meet up my 30 yr old son for lunch at a cafe. He was with his support worker, as he has ASD3 and has developmental delays and he lives in a lovely supported accommodation manor-like house, with only one other resident and a bunch of support workers.

I got the workers name wrong at the start. And that was ok, sonno and I had a nice lunch and chatted a lot with each other and the support guy. But at the end I was like "It was nice to meet you" and he was like "yeah, it was nice to see you AGAIN".

So that's when I realized"Oops, it seems I've met this man before, but, I don't remember".