Veiw on people in general

[Seckottek]

I didn't know where to write this but here seemed to make some sense.

I was wondering if anyone else finds that people seem like replicas. I find almost everyone just seem to act and think the same as each other and it makes me feel very mad and uncomfortable. I think it's mainly in neurotypical people although there are some people I find have a sense of individuality.

Overall I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this or similar because I feel slightly alienated.

 

[The Penguin]

Me I call them zombies.

 

[apsie]

Yup.
Orignal thought is a rare thing.
It is easyer to repeat what has been said then to think.

 

[StephF]

I like the line delivered by Tommy Lee Jones (Agent K) in Men in Black.

"A person is smart, but people are stupid".

I call this phenomenon "herd stupidity"

 

[Spiller]

I was wondering if anyone else finds that people seem like replicas.

I get people thinking similarly, they're social animals and acceptance by ones peers is, therefore, a biological directive.
But I've noticed, through my work dealing with the public, that there seem to be a set number of molds that people come out of, like an assembly line; I constantly think I know that person and it turns out they just look like someone I've seen before.
There can't, of course, be an infinite variation of faces, or at least three quarters of people would have their facial features on the sides, back and top of their head, so the limitation makes sense.. but did evolution decide to have a few days off, or am I just bad with faces?

 

[Daniela]

Yeah all the time, when I was in school I made a list to pick people that would be true friends.

It was allmost allways the "losers" becouse they had a diferent way of viewing things, they hada personalatie, and the others where kinda replicas of the popular kids ...that got me and gets me so mad.

They have this padrons , you know what I mean XD

 

[ThatSkyWing]

I didn't know where to write this but here seemed to make some sense.

I was wondering if anyone else finds that people seem like replicas. I find almost everyone just seem to act and think the same as each other and it makes me feel very mad and uncomfortable. I think it's mainly in neurotypical people although there are some people I find have a sense of individuality.

Overall I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this or similar because I feel slightly alienated.

I know exactly how you feel! They all just seem to act the same, think the same, feel the same, they all seem to like the same things and it's so hard for me to relate to them or talk to them, it's really annoying. There aren't many people I have met who seem more, well "unique" out in public.

 

[Balkan1996]

Traditionalists. Traditionalists everywhere.

 

[Wooaspie]

It's like they all have a map to follow and they like following it.

 

[Balkan1996]

Am I the only one who has this (pervasive) NEED to be different?

For example, I liked Nirvana before people in my school even heard of it, but from the moment they liked it I considered it to be overrated and too mainstream, so I started to hate Nirvana.
They are still a solid band tho...

 

[wyverary]

Sometimes I do feel that way, yes. A side effect of someone on the outside looking in, so it's a natural assumption.

It's a cultural thing, too. There are various "cliques" and "groups" in society, who share the same worldview, the same expected model of action. I know from experience, even if one is a neurotypical, they often share this feeling when it comes to those outside their "type".

It takes a lot of social skills to see the forest for the trees, something most of us unfortunately lack.

 

[umbrellabeach]

At this point in my life, I do find nearly everyone to be the same. Everywhere I go, I experience this (taken from a list of reasons I hate church that I wrote for my mom):

-People feel the need to comment on, joke about and laugh at me for no reason - or for the sole reason that I'm quiet; apparently that's hilarious - and I can't get a word in to correct them or stand up for myself because they're yelling and laughing so loud I can't hear myself think, and then as soon as they're done with that they move on and I never see them again
-They think it's okay to touch me without my permission (or knowledge); I wear my hair in braids (it's so thick I don't know how else to style it) and people have even pulled them to tease me before
-People expect me to conform and then either laugh at me or give me weird looks when I don't
-There's so much hidden corruption in churches that I don't know if even one person in the congregation is a decent one; they're drug dealers and pedophiles for all I know. Yes, God tells us to associate with other Christians but there's no way to tell if anyone is REALLY a Christian, especially if you can't read people (and what's the point of being with them if all they do is make fun of me anyway?)
-People only talk to me because I'm my parents' kid, or a newcomer, or college-aged, or one of eight kids - and I think they're disappointed when they find out I'm not working or in school or whatever, because those are the only topics they're interested in regarding young people

I've refused to go to church for the past two weeks because of how awful the people in them are to me. I've been to tons of different churches in my life, but to me they're not different anymore. They're all the same. The people are all the same rude sheep.

 

[clg114]

I think that we are all different in many ways. Where in sameness comes in is that most people have socially driven priorities. Like many other animals on the planet, most people are social animals. These people have need to part of a group. For the most part, they think and act the same.

 

[Cecile]

Since I joined this forum, I have seen comments similar to this a few times, and each time I almost find it funny because all the Neurotypicals around me think the exact same thing about "the majority". What you describe is basically "Joe average", or the "silent majority". The people who let the media think for them, believe what they hear on TV or from politicians, have conventional and conservative jobs and tastes.

Try hanging our with cultural and community organisations, groups of social/political activists and anarchists, environmentalists, people who are into urban greening and farming, those who design handmade clothing and jewellery, teachers and researchers in philosophy or literature, contemporary visual, digital and media artists, poets and novelists, raw foodists, film crew technicians, techies who invent gear and devices in their free time... They are another story. Diversity of values, looks, tastes, beliefs, etc.

 

[ZackSkylar101]

I think it depends on the level you look at people. There is a strange degree of synchronicity with a lot of people where they seem to just know what to say and do and things like that and they all seem to fit in place like pieces of a quite elaborate puzzle, however if you go a bit deeper under the surface then that are all different in some way. I guess it's just that a lot of the time people put the different parts to one side to try and fit in the puzzle, trying to put aside the different to be a part of the bigger picture. I don't think it's a totally bad thing, as long as people can still get the different things out because that's what makes things more interesting. But it is quite tricky, and I definitely get that. There are some people who just appear a bit blank to me, because I imagine if I picked up a few people I knew and placed them next to those people then I would find them a bit uninteresting, but I imagine that they would probably find me a bit freaky so to each person their own perspective

Overall I think it's a bit narrow to think of neurotypicals as all fitting in a box, the same way that it is to think of autistic people are all fitting into a box. Neurotypicals have similar traits to each other, but they all fall in different places along the spectrum of what it means to be neurotypical (reversal of the autism analogy - boom! I have done my degree of philosophy for the day XD)

 

[Lola_Daydream]

Am I the only one who has this (pervasive) NEED to be different?

For example, I liked Nirvana before people in my school even heard of it, but from the moment they liked it I considered it to be overrated and too mainstream, so I started to hate Nirvana.
They are still a solid band tho...

I was completely like that in high school, I would seek out clothes no girl would wear, (usually heavy metal with baphomets and pentagrams band shirts and combat boots.) Lol, I sought out music, books and things that everyone else around me never heard of, or despised. I rebelled hard against my peers and parents. I have settled down now, old age. But I still hate the mass herd mentality, and find them annoying. I just don't waste my time anymore to point it in their faces and oppose them. It is futile, they are never going to evolve spiritually and find their own true nature and wills. It is sad, sad, sad.

 

[Wooaspie]

I have this group of about 9 or 10 guys, and we all met around the same time and at the same place, and became friends. This was over 26 months ago. We would all go out for pizza, occasionally a football game, or just to hang out somewhere. Over these 26 months these guys started to build deeper social bonds with each other. I was not. We still all were doing the same things together, the only difference was as more time Went on they started having there emotional bonds bring them closer together as friends. Nothing has changed, I still see them when I can, the only difference is, I still have the same level of connection with these guys as I did 26 months ago. While they all have built deep emotional bonds. How did they all do that? What are the feelings, actions and motivation behind there deeper bonding? It seemed natural to them.
They new how to do it like it was there nature.
This happened to me earlier in life too, a few times, one of the first being, my first year of junior high. I had "friends" in elementary school, but they were friends by default due to geographical location. Junior high was the first time I started seeing the group of people I was close to start building deeper bonds, meeting new people and building new bonds etc. Like it was natural to them.
When I read a thread like this one, something clicks and I remember and understand it because of my experience. From my experience, Not from opinion, not from a theory, and certainly not from a cookie cutter example. In the two examples I gave above all of my acquaintances had a certain nature that I did not. They were all doing the same thing, in the same way.

I didn't know where to write this but here seemed to make some sense.

I was wondering if anyone else finds that people seem like replicas. I find almost everyone just seem to act and think the same as each other and it makes me feel very mad and uncomfortable. I think it's mainly in neurotypical people although there are some people I find have a sense of individuality.

Overall I was just wondering if anyone else felt like this or similar because I feel slightly alienated.

The experiences I shared above are the experiences I relate with when I read seckotteks post. How it seemed like all these people throughout my life were replicating the same natural course.
Does the name neurotypical mean that these friends of mine have neurons that fire in a typical way? And if so, does that mean neurodiverse means my neurons fire in a different way?
When I reply to a thread it's because I understand from experience what's really being talked about here!

 

[Spiller]

Over these 26 months these guys started to build deeper social bonds with each other. I was not. We still all were doing the same things together, the only difference was as more time Went on they started having there emotional bonds bring them closer together as friends. Nothing has changed, I still see them when I can, the only difference is, I still have the same level of connection with these guys as I did 26 months ago. While they all have built deep emotional bonds.

I had the same experience at college many moons ago, hanging with a group I shared several classes with. I began to see the growing difference in my- compared to their relationships and wondered what this was.. why I was still so different - I'd hoped to have left all the oddness, bullying and ostracism behind me with leaving school. During the week I'd listen to what they'd all done at the weekend.. no-one told me about that party, etc.
When we all left college I never heard from any of them again.

Does the name neurotypical mean that these friends of mine have neurons that fire in a typical way? And if so, does that mean neurodiverse means my neurons fire in a different way?

Neurotypical (NT) refers to the majority, 'normal' people if you like, who think within similar parameters, Neurodiverse (ND) refers to Autistics, who think differently.. personally, I stick with Crazy!.. They're all crazy, I'm the sane one

 

[Cecile]

Nothing has changed, I still see them when I can, the only difference is, I still have the same level of connection with these guys as I did 26 months ago. While they all have built deep emotional bonds. How did they all do that? What are the feelings, actions and motivation behind there deeper bonding? It seemed natural to them. They new how to do it like it was there nature.(...) In the two examples I gave above all of my acquaintances had a certain nature that I did not. They were all doing the same thing, in the same way.

The following is my NT perspective, from personal experience, and from readings. I don't mean to over-generalize, I only have known a few Aspies in real life... Obviously there are introvert loners among NTs, and there are Aspies who have built strong social networks around them. But to me, on average, NTs tend to naturally act and interact in ways that allow connections to form and deepen overtime if they want it to. Not because they are all alike in *who* they are personality-wise and taste-wise, but because they share a "default setting" in *how* they connect, and that "default setting" isn't the same among Aspies. A difference in our very nature, as you say.

NTs get to know each other through talking, sharing experiences, doing things and spending time together one on one. Overtime they grow closer, each person has put a certain amount of "focus" on the other, they have both felt enriched/energized/comforted by the other person's presence and their shared time. They communicate both in verbal and non-verbal language.

Aspies' high need for alone time make them "less available" to share experiences/do things one on one with others. They often talk less, have less non-verbal expression and don't always "get" an NT's non-verbal expression.

Aspies don't seem as naturally prone or "able" to put the same "focus" on another person as NTs do, and tend to "initiate" less often. The presence of others tend to drain/tire them even when they are having fun (I know this part varies, some Aspies get drained even with their significant other, children and close friends, while it isn't as tiring for others, etc.).

It probably takes much longer for Aspies to feel like they really know a person, and in my experience, it takes much longer to really know an Aspie. As a consequence, Aspies seem more distant, and this can naturally lead NTs to think that their Aspie friends are less interested in their shared activities, or don't find them as enjoyable, etc. So they may invite them less. (I would illustrate with real-life examples from a group of friends with a majority of NT and a minority of Aspies, but my comment is already quite long...)

 

[AsheSkyler]

I simply find most people annoying on varying levels.