Veiw on people in general

[Grumpy Cat]

Traditionalists. Traditionalists everywhere.

I love traditions. They are a source of comfort. It's a way of sharing a common interest with several people. Nothing logical about it. A lot of feelings and sentiments are involved.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

The people who let the media think for them, believe what they hear on TV or from politicians, have conventional and conservative jobs and tastes.

I disagree. I'm conservative and the media certainly does not think for me.

 

[JCPHN]

I really resent the concept of "normalcy" and even thought I wish things were easier for me sometimes, I'm proud of the fact that I don't fit in. I dislike how most people have to stoop lower to a common denominator, or pretend that they are more intelligent than they actually are. It bothers me that people like that have such an easy time because it makes many aspects of their lives and personalities seem so shallow and unrefined. Although, to be fair, I think my resentment is a bit more extreme, because I've had so many experiences with people telling me that I needed to try harder to fit in and be "normal." So generally, I dislike people, and don't have much patience for them, unless they show some kind of understanding or intelligence to begin with. I know it's harsh, but it's how I feel.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I disagree. I'm conservative and the media certainly does not think for me.

Same here. I have no idea what people the media represent, but I'm definitely not one of them. Especially those magazines you find at the checkout of the grocery store! Who are THOSE people??

 

[Balkan1996]

I love traditions. They are a source of comfort. It's a way of sharing a common interest with several people. Nothing logical about it. A lot of feelings and sentiments are involved.

I think you misunderstood my point.
Of course everyone likes Christmas!

I'll put it this way to you:
In my country, 90% of the population is Catholic. How many of them actually live a Christian way of life? When I see a Lamborghini or a Ferrari on the street, there are 90% of chances that the driver is a Catholic. So why does this person claim to be a Catholic when he doesn't live accordingly to Christian rules? Because of the tradition and fitting in.


P.S. No insult to anyone's religious beliefs, only making my point.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

I think you misunderstood my point.
Of course everyone likes Christmas!

I'll put it this way to you:
In my country, 90% of the population is Catholic. How many of them actually live a Christian way of life? When I see a Lamborghini or a Ferrari on the street, there are 90% of chances that the driver is a Catholic. So why does this person claim to be a Catholic when he doesn't live accordingly to Christian rules? Because of the tradition and fitting in.


P.S. No insult to anyone's religious beliefs, only making my point.

I know Catholics are into the mob and all, but aren't Jewish people known to be rich too?

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="Seckottek, wondering if anyone else finds that people seem like replicas. I find almost everyone just seem to act and think the same as each other [/QUOTE]

Hi I don't think people are all the same, but when I'm in a bad mood sometimes I like to call them LEMMINGS. I think what is so offensive, is the idea of being willing to trade away the right to choose what is right, and the right to express who you are, for a little love and belonging. Sometimes tho people like us who value truth and doing what is best for the world first, can stand tall and bend the course of history. So my view is be nice, but stand tall hold the line, and maybe you can draw some of the Lemmings away from the cliff. And when you're dead and gone maybe they will say he was a great man, or woman. Wishful thinking maybe but I'm going down swinging.... victory is not for the faint of heart...and I love a good fight! Maelstrom out!

I thought this thread was about pack peer pressure?

 

[Balkan1996]

I know Catholics are into the mob and all, but aren't Jewish people known to be rich too?

I'm not Hebrew if that was your point...

And yes, some Jewish people are also rich. So are the British, Americans and Germans. Hell, you could find a rich guy in Somalia!

Most religions despise wealthy people, and I agree with them. I just wouldn't be able to enjoy luxury. Traditionalists can't see a tree from the forest.

 

[Cecile]

I disagree. I'm conservative and the media certainly does not think for me.

My not-so-efficient sentence was meant as an enumeration of "some dominant characteristics in a group called the majority", which can contribute to the impression that "everybody is the same". I don't believe that every conservative person or every person with a conventional job doesn't think for themselves, and my use of "conservative" is also confusing as it can be interpreted in its political or its non political meaning.
The point of my whole commentary was: the belief that everybody is the same sounds like an extreme generalization to me. It seems to me that, to come to that conclusion, a person must have mostly met people of the same circles... or had too little interest/opportunities to actually get to know people (and see their individuality)?

 

[umbrellabeach]

The point of my whole commentary was: the belief that everybody is the same sounds like an extreme generalization to me. It seems to me that, to come to that conclusion, a person must have mostly met people of the same circles... or had too little interest/opportunities to actually get to know people (and see their individuality)?

I think that's partially the case for me. My whole life has been drenched with church and it's the place I've done the majority of any socializing I managed to do, as even today I hardly ever manage to get out of the house otherwise. As a kid I was the very picture of the sheltered homeschooler. (As a teen I went to youth events, but they were naturally connected to church.) And when I meet someone new, I usually never see them again, just that one time. This has been especially true recently while my family has been church-hopping.
And here's another problem: in my experience, most churches turn out to be full of corruption. The people in the last church my dad pastored seemed very nice at first, but eventually turned out to be racist backstabbers who attacked (sometimes physically) anyone who disagreed with them about even the smallest thing. There was one man who was actually demon possessed. We also found out that they were covering up crimes of theirs like cattle theft and child molestation. They kicked us out of the parsonage so we moved back out east to help another church, but its "pastor" turned out to be a sexist, narcissistic control freak. He too kicked us out of his parsonage after eight months - a short time compared to our seven years with the previous church. Now we live in a rented house instead of a parsonage and we're trying to find a church that doesn't preach heresy so we can partner with it to plant a new church, but it's hard because they ALL seem to preach heresy. Even a church we went to for a whole year started preaching heresy and that's why we left.
And besides that, as I said before, whenever I go to church myself, people stare at me and make fun of me and generally act like jerks, so naturally I don't want to spend more time with them. You can't befriend someone by making a first impression like that. Even if there's a chance they actually want to be my friend and they're doing that weird thing where they tease people they like, I respect myself too much to stick around to find out, in case they turn out to just want to keep treating me like that. To me it's not worth that risk. I find it impossible to tell whether or not a person really is nice, considering that my dad's last church acted like our friends for years and then turned on us.
Sorry for the length of this post. I guess I have a lot of baggage.

 

[Balkan1996]

I think that's partially the case for me. My whole life has been drenched with church and it's the place I've done the majority of any socializing I managed to do, as even today I hardly ever manage to get out of the house otherwise. As a kid I was the very picture of the sheltered homeschooler. (As a teen I went to youth events, but they were naturally connected to church.) And when I meet someone new, I usually never see them again, just that one time. This has been especially true recently while my family has been church-hopping.
And here's another problem: in my experience, most churches turn out to be full of corruption. The people in the last church my dad pastored seemed very nice at first, but eventually turned out to be racist backstabbers who attacked (sometimes physically) anyone who disagreed with them about even the smallest thing. There was one man who was actually demon possessed. We also found out that they were covering up crimes of theirs like cattle theft and child molestation. They kicked us out of the parsonage so we moved back out east to help another church, but its "pastor" turned out to be a sexist, narcissistic control freak. He too kicked us out of his parsonage after eight months - a short time compared to our seven years with the previous church. Now we live in a rented house instead of a parsonage and we're trying to find a church that doesn't preach heresy so we can partner with it to plant a new church, but it's hard because they ALL seem to preach heresy. Even a church we went to for a whole year started preaching heresy and that's why we left.
And besides that, as I said before, whenever I go to church myself, people stare at me and make fun of me and generally act like jerks, so naturally I don't want to spend more time with them. You can't befriend someone by making a first impression like that. Even if there's a chance they actually want to be my friend and they're doing that weird thing where they tease people they like, I respect myself too much to stick around to find out, in case they turn out to just want to keep treating me like that. To me it's not worth that risk. I find it impossible to tell whether or not a person really is nice, considering that my dad's last church acted like our friends for years and then turned on us.
Sorry for the length of this post. I guess I have a lot of baggage.

I'm an ex-christian and I used to be a really good believer but I never liked the ways of the church.

However, don't lose faith in church because of those experiences. I've heard of churches for youth where everybody sings and debate religious matters. I heard it's awesome, probably because there are no old priests, grumpy ladies and the program isn't scripted. I suggest you look out for them.

God doesn't pollute the church, people do.

 

[paloftoon]

I think that's partially the case for me. My whole life has been drenched with church and it's the place I've done the majority of any socializing I managed to do, as even today I hardly ever manage to get out of the house otherwise. As a kid I was the very picture of the sheltered homeschooler. (As a teen I went to youth events, but they were naturally connected to church.) And when I meet someone new, I usually never see them again, just that one time. This has been especially true recently while my family has been church-hopping.
And here's another problem: in my experience, most churches turn out to be full of corruption. . . . .

You don't have to be a part of a church to enjoy your life. If your bad experiences turn you off from the idea of church completely, or from an in-person gathering, that's more than understandable. If you really enjoy the faith part, but not meeting physically because of all your bad experiences, there are some Internet faith things you can consider. Be careful what you choose though, and do as much homework as you can beforehand.

It may be easier to find groups through meetup.com maybe, especially if you're near a bigger city. Non-religious community service groups could be a good way to meet new people. Maybe some groups meet at your local library or community center if you have one, or maybe look at poster boards in cafes for groups that meet. If possible, try to get a job in a totally different area and live on your own, and you may feel positive impacts on your life if you don't have many options where you are. I hope it works out for you.

 

[AsheSkyler]

I think that's partially the case for me. My whole life has been drenched with church and it's the place I've done the majority of any socializing I managed to do, as even today I hardly ever manage to get out of the house otherwise. As a kid I was the very picture of the sheltered homeschooler. (As a teen I went to youth events, but they were naturally connected to church.) And when I meet someone new, I usually never see them again, just that one time. This has been especially true recently while my family has been church-hopping.
And here's another problem: in my experience, most churches turn out to be full of corruption. The people in the last church my dad pastored seemed very nice at first, but eventually turned out to be racist backstabbers who attacked (sometimes physically) anyone who disagreed with them about even the smallest thing. There was one man who was actually demon possessed. We also found out that they were covering up crimes of theirs like cattle theft and child molestation. They kicked us out of the parsonage so we moved back out east to help another church, but its "pastor" turned out to be a sexist, narcissistic control freak. He too kicked us out of his parsonage after eight months - a short time compared to our seven years with the previous church. Now we live in a rented house instead of a parsonage and we're trying to find a church that doesn't preach heresy so we can partner with it to plant a new church, but it's hard because they ALL seem to preach heresy. Even a church we went to for a whole year started preaching heresy and that's why we left.
And besides that, as I said before, whenever I go to church myself, people stare at me and make fun of me and generally act like jerks, so naturally I don't want to spend more time with them. You can't befriend someone by making a first impression like that. Even if there's a chance they actually want to be my friend and they're doing that weird thing where they tease people they like, I respect myself too much to stick around to find out, in case they turn out to just want to keep treating me like that. To me it's not worth that risk. I find it impossible to tell whether or not a person really is nice, considering that my dad's last church acted like our friends for years and then turned on us.
Sorry for the length of this post. I guess I have a lot of baggage.

Been there. My first church with full of misogynists, and the kids in both my first and second church were violent. My parents got in trouble a lot because I hit back and would defend myself. I've learned that people that preach "turn the other cheek" the loudest are the ones who are more prone to slap you in the first place. Nowadays if I ever go to a church, it's just to visit. So they don't get used to me and relax their standards of behaviour. I prefer to keep as innocent a view as possible of a congregation.

I was also homeschooled, and I had a lot of people tell me I had no idea how the real world worked because I didn't deal with highschool politics. What they all failed to remember is that I went to church. I was very familiar with the popular girls, the jocks, the musicians, the outcasts, the violence, the pressure to conform, and all the dumb games inbetween. I didn't miss anything.

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="AsheSkyler, Nowadays if I ever go to a church, it's just to visit. So they don't get used to me and relax their standards of behaviour. [/QUOTE]

Hi I understand the sentiments, Christianity is more of a personal journey and sometimes you have to find your own way to make it work. No one comes out of the water Enoch, who knows how rotten some of those people would be out side the church. In my own way I am loyal to my church SDA as it has very good doctrines. As a auspie I struggle with the people packed like sardines around me thing, and I do not like formal events, all this up, down, sing, pray, with people staring at the back of my neck waiting for me to mess up. Perhaps a law should be passed that aspies get to sit on the last bench. As for the people messing with you that happens anywhere, if you let some people get to comfortable around you, they will start picking, I suppose in their minds they call it advice. Asheskyler is right sometimes you have to backup a little to reset things, usually a couple of weeks will do the trick.

 

[epath13]

Reality seems "unreal" to me, on some days more than on others. I had to learn to be truly close and love people. Some might think it's not possible to learn how to feel or be close to people, it is possible. It wasn't initially in me, not to the level it should have been probably. Despite of the fact that the love and closeness I feel are more real now, I still seem to be separate from the world, from people in it. I don't know if Autism is the only cause of this strange sensation, it could be also caused by migraines.

 

[umbrellabeach]

Thanks for your support, guys. It's not church itself I've lost faith in (and certainly not God), it's the people in them. It would be nice if I could go to church without being surrounded by people - oh wait, I guess that's what recordings are for. I'm not sure if my parents would want me to do that for church for the rest of my life, though (even though I hardly care what they think of me anymore).

Been there. My first church with full of misogynists, and the kids in both my first and second church were violent. My parents got in trouble a lot because I hit back and would defend myself. I've learned that people that preach "turn the other cheek" the loudest are the ones who are more prone to slap you in the first place. Nowadays if I ever go to a church, it's just to visit. So they don't get used to me and relax their standards of behaviour.

Funny, the last few churches I went to were one time each just to visit, and people still treated me wrong. And all during my adolescence, I was called rude for standing up for myself. My mom was always telling me that my feelings didn't matter - but at the same time, I'd better not ever hurt other people's feelings.
I wonder the teasing has anything to do with the fact that I'm a girl and look younger than I am. (Older men are particularly apt to tease me for some reason.) Or maybe my withdrawn mannerisms make people uncomfortable and they have to laugh at me to cope with their insecurity. Even if that's so, it's still rude and they need to realize they're perfectly free to ignore me, as I'm doing to them.

As a auspie I struggle with the people packed like sardines around me thing, and I do not like formal events, all this up, down, sing, pray, with people staring at the back of my neck waiting for me to mess up. Perhaps a law should be passed that aspies get to sit on the last bench.

Same. If I'm around any number of people, I always feel like they're staring at me. Sometimes they are, especially if they're kids. In one of the last churches I went to, there was this obnoxious kid right behind me who kept hitting the back of my seat during the music. We were standing up but I could still feel it. A few times I kicked the chair backwards into him, and told him to stop, but he didn't. He wasn't even that young, maybe between 10 and 13, so he should have known better. But hey, most adults don't seem to know better.
The idea of Aspies on the last bench is a good one, although some people would probably take advantage of the knowledge that we're Aspies and use it to bully us more.

 

[Maelstrom]

[QUOTE="epath13, I still seem to be separate from the world, from people in it. I don't know if Autism is the only cause of this strange sensation, it could be also caused by migraines.[/QUOTE]

Hi I think you and Umbrellabeach are just feelling normal aspie stuff. I have always felt separate from the world, I have always had crowd claustrophobia, and I have always been kreeped out by the people watching me thing, perhaps it is worse for some of you. Some of this stuff you just have to try to find a way to live with it, the best you can. It's hard for me too.

 

[Cali Cat]

My view on people in general is not good. I prefer individuals to people.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Hi I understand the sentiments, Christianity is more of a personal journey and sometimes you have to find your own way to make it work. No one comes out of the water Enoch, who knows how rotten some of those people would be out side the church. In my own way I am loyal to my church SDA as it has very good doctrines. As a auspie I struggle with the people packed like sardines around me thing, and I do not like formal events, all this up, down, sing, pray, with people staring at the back of my neck waiting for me to mess up. Perhaps a law should be passed that aspies get to sit on the last bench. As for the people messing with you that happens anywhere, if you let some people get to comfortable around you, they will start picking, I suppose in their minds they call it advice. Asheskyler is right sometimes you have to backup a little to reset things, usually a couple of weeks will do the trick.

Depending on the church a couple of weeks doesn't work, and I hardly think marks up and down my arms and legs qualifies as "picking". I don't mind which bench I sit on so long as it's not up in the choir and I tend to sit closer to the front so I'm not as distracted by other people.

Funny, the last few churches I went to were one time each just to visit, and people still treated me wrong. And all during my adolescence, I was called rude for standing up for myself. My mom was always telling me that my feelings didn't matter - but at the same time, I'd better not ever hurt other people's feelings.
I wonder the teasing has anything to do with the fact that I'm a girl and look younger than I am. (Older men are particularly apt to tease me for some reason.) Or maybe my withdrawn mannerisms make people uncomfortable and they have to laugh at me to cope with their insecurity. Even if that's so, it's still rude and they need to realize they're perfectly free to ignore me, as I'm doing to them.

Old church men used to annoy the snot out of me. They were always pulling my hair! Well, the gentlemen didn't, but the other dudes wouldn't leave me alone. Sometimes I'd try to make it obvious I was cheerful and friendly to the gentleman and could care less for the yankers. They never took the hint, but they did eventually leave me alone when they got tired of me being cold to them.

 

[paloftoon]

Umbrellabeach, people can look at us like they are shopping for goods in a grocery store. The best we can do is find ways to cope and stand up for ourselves. Other people's feelings do matter, but us not being trampled on matters too. Part of the reason your mom may say that you don't want to hurt others' feelings is because it's too complicated to figure out and explain when you should react one way or another otherwise. That's something we all have to figure out on our own unfortunately. Life is not fair, and people love to prey on weakness, that is for sure.

Ashe, in your case, maybe speaking 1-1 with these older "gentle"men in a public place and being upfront could be appropriate if there is more than one occasion where so and so does not get the hint. People used to do stuff like that to me when I was a child, and I got annoyed because I would not know who I could do that too, and would feel uncomfortable "returning the favor" whether it was a pat on the back or a pat on the head. And as a teacher, unless I have the parent's permission, or unless maybe I just saved someone's life, I don't even think of touching a person because that could get out of hand. At one professional development for teachers, they said that it is okay to lightly pat someone of the same sex on their shoulder, but if you're not sure to not even go that far. It is sad what our world has become today. It's lost a lot of it's empathy, and those that truly need that personal attention, many of us tend to get hurt more instead.

On the bright side, technology has also brought us together to be able to speak about these kind of things on a forum like this!