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Sensitive Topic Very Personal Post

Kari Suttle said:
This is AspiesCentral, Garnet. Your post came off as quite negative in my opinion. This is meant to be a place of support and acceptance and your post did not come across as that to me. Us aspies get enough **** in real life let alone on here. He should be able to express his opinion without blatant negativity. If you have a problem with his post that's fine, you can have your opinion, but i think you should find a better, more (constructive?) way to word it.
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I don't have a problem with Garnet's post Kari Suttle. Like you she is entitled to her opinion and is attempting to help the OP. There is no negativity there, that I can see.

Strong feelings yes, frustration perhaps for someone in a horrible situation who seems unable to do anything about it. Her help is well-intentioned, yours is simply controlling. And yes, I do recognize narcissistic behavior in others, especially when they try to tell others how to think.
 
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Mia said:
I don't have a problem with Garnet's post Kari Suttle. Like you she is entitled to her opinion and is attempting to help the OP. There is no negativity there, that I can see.

Strong feelings yes, frustration perhaps for someone in a horrible situation who seems unable to do anything about it. Her help is well-intentioned, yours is simply controlling. And yes, I do recognize narcissistic behavior in others, especially when they try to tell others how to think.
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:cry: I'm really sorry! Garnett explained their side and helped me understand their perspective better, I just neglected to reply to it. I think I just wasn't sure whether or not to just like the post or reply with what amounted to 'oh okay thank you'. I just misunderstood them that's all. I thought they were mad at the OP at first, I only wanted to stand up for him. I didn't mean it like that.
 
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I understand, words can sometimes be misconstrued as well as intent. Misunderstandings happen daily between people. We all have emotional 'triggers' that we react to, especially Aspies. I'm sorry it happened too.
 
I know people were concerned so I wanted to give an update. There has only been one inappropriate incident of what I guess is abuse since I wrote this. I had to sit down with my roommate and tell him how I was feeling and that I couldn't take living under the situation anymore. Immediately he did an about face and has been extremely pleasant ever since. I'm safe at this point.
 
peoplesrjames said:
I know people were concerned so I wanted to give an update. There has only been one inappropriate incident of what I guess is abuse since I wrote this. I had to sit down with my roommate and tell him how I was feeling and that I couldn't take living under the situation anymore. Immediately he did an about face and has been extremely pleasant ever since. I'm safe at this point.
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Be careful he's not just leading you into a false sense of security... I would still advise you to scarper, but if you're intent on staying, then I'd say one more incident and leave.

Good luck
 
ksheehan88 said:
Be careful he's not just leading you into a false sense of security... I would still advise you to scarper, but if you're intent on staying, then I'd say one more incident and leave.

Good luck
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I think it may hav been you, but I was once told that he was a narcissist. So I looked it up obsessively and it's text book. The only confusing thing is that narcissist are usually on a-holes to their partnes/spouses, not their friends.
 
Naw, narcissists are a-holes to everyone!

If that is so, it will not work out long-term. He's been called out and he's trying to behave, but it never lasts.
 
This happened to me, too. Only it was hetero. Doesn't matter either way. My point is that I got trapped. Same thing. He was all into me then pushed me away but kept me there. Then I tried to leave. I was away for a year and every day thought of him. I went back when I got sick. Then injured. And now I realize he will be in my life till I die. I am older now, and poor. He is rich. I am sick. He is well. I am broken without that much time left. He is healthy and vibrant.

If I had it all over again, I would have starved to death as I almost did at 14. The only reason I am glad I did not die is because my some miracle, I was able to have two kids. I could not raise them, but they are in the world and they are good, wonderful souls.
 
peoplesrjames said:
I know people were concerned so I wanted to give an update. There has only been one inappropriate incident of what I guess is abuse since I wrote this. I had to sit down with my roommate and tell him how I was feeling and that I couldn't take living under the situation anymore. Immediately he did an about face and has been extremely pleasant ever since. I'm safe at this point.
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He could be genuine and really be trying to change. But he could also just be making sure you don't run away from him. Just be careful. If he shows his darker side again, get out of there.
 
xDominiel said:
He could be genuine and really be trying to change. But he could also just be making sure you don't run away from him. Just be careful. If he shows his darker side again, get out of there.
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If he shows that side again, you probably won't get the chance.
 
Get the **** out of Dodge & do it pronto !
You can fool yourself with 100 reasons to stay but already deep down you know his behaviour is unacceptable!
If you allow him to treat you this way you are telling him & others that it's acceptable & you are not worth more !
He is a bully & manipulative , & is mistaking your kindness for weakness !
Like I said , get the **** away from this abusive prick !
 
It sounds to me like your relationship with your friend is similar to stockholm syndrome. He has effectively made himself appear to be the only thing you can trust, no matter what he does to you. I can certainly understand why it may take time to build up the courage to leave, but no matter what happens, your best course of action is to leave as soon as possible. You said that you still have some other friends, right? I think that it would be a good idea to move in with them if they're all right with that, since this might help ease your worries of your friend becoming violent.

Just remember that even if he appears to be changing, it doesn't change all of the abuse that he's given you already.
 
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