Video chat

[Levitat0r]

Anyone interested in video chatting sometime? I had a friend who was autistic, and he just had kind of this flat, tired-sounding tone, not altogether unfamiliar, but he was really funny, and I never found any fault with him, myself. I have a pretty good idea of what we're like; basically resembling people like Rivers Cuomo or Thom Yorke in "style", if you can call it that, given that it's not intentional. I wonder if anyone will ever make a video filter that finally lets us see what the blazes they're witnessing that makes them cringe and walk away, basically while I'm still introducing myself.

 

[Slime_Punk]

I feel like those of us who are very high-functioning don't trip those same sensors, lol. Obviously this can be a blessing in some circumstances, but not when you're expected to perform like you're a neurotypical.

I will politely decline due to social anxiety, but you seem cool. Hopefully someone else will get on that!

 

[Jumpinbare]

Video chat is way too much like being right in front of someone. I see NT acquaintances routinely video chatting on their phones, and I'm like why in the world would someone do that when they could just talk? I mean, it is a phone after all. Why make yourself convey appropriate facial expressions and all that, when simple audio will get the job done.
I remember in school in the 1960s, the teacher telling us that in the future we would have video phones so we could see who we were talking to. This would have been 3rd or 4th grade. My immediate reaction to that was "but then people would see you when you talk!"

 

[1ForAll]

I

Video chat is way too much like being right in front of someone. I see NT acquaintances routinely video chatting on their phones, and I'm like why in the world would someone do that when they could just talk? I mean, it is a phone after all. Why make yourself convey appropriate facial expressions and all that, when simple audio will get the job done.
I remember in school in the 1960s, the teacher telling us that in the future we would have video phones so we could see who we were talking to. This would have been 3rd or 4th grade. My immediate reaction to that was "but then people would see you when you talk!"

I see both the op and you as being right. I mean, while it is true that many Autistics may not want to do face to face with typical persons who could judge them badly unless absolutely necessary, and as why feel pressure masking when we could find more comfortable ways communicating, I think what the op is saying in his forum posts is 'hey, we are all alike in some way as we all look or feel weird or different in some way, so let's celebrate our uniqueness there and be who we are and appreciate that and find a friend or two who can allow us to be our at least sometimes goofy selves, in terms of how we look or act in person or on camera too.'

In my case, I am proud I am atypical when compared to typical others. I am precise with my words, but can hesitate briefly at times when trying to accurately or fully answer a question or to make some comment to my liking, and as I may go off on tangents even, if not just relate some experience which may mean a need to remember details.. I have talked to several here by audio and all seemed fine to me as I do not judge them being atypical in any way as any different or worse than who I am, as I know I am that way too, with my sayings, doings, tone, style, or how I appear with eye contact, facial expressions, etc. So, I would gladly try with the op next week via audio or video after this winter storm passes. Feel free to pm me there for details.

 

[Tired]

Video chat is way too much like being right in front of someone. I see NT acquaintances routinely video chatting on their phones, and I'm like why in the world would someone do that when they could just talk? I mean, it is a phone after all. Why make yourself convey appropriate facial expressions and all that, when simple audio will get the job done.
I remember in school in the 1960s, the teacher telling us that in the future we would have video phones so we could see who we were talking to. This would have been 3rd or 4th grade. My immediate reaction to that was "but then people would see you when you talk!"

Why do you need to talk, when you can write?

 

[Levitat0r]

Video chat is way too much like being right in front of someone. I see NT acquaintances routinely video chatting on their phones, and I'm like why in the world would someone do that when they could just talk? I mean, it is a phone after all. Why make yourself convey appropriate facial expressions and all that, when simple audio will get the job done.
I remember in school in the 1960s, the teacher telling us that in the future we would have video phones so we could see who we were talking to. This would have been 3rd or 4th grade. My immediate reaction to that was "but then people would see you when you talk!"

Well, I actually like unique and unusual people. I always have, and the course of my experience has greatly intensified that feeling. They are like an exotically wrapped present inviting you to unwrap it and see what inspired all of that unusual wrapping.

 

[Levitat0r]

I

I see both the op and you as being right. I mean, while it is true that many Autistics may not want to do face to face with typical persons who could judge them badly unless absolutely necessary, and as why feel pressure masking when we could find more comfortable ways communicating, I think what the op is saying in his forum posts is 'hey, we are all alike in some way as we all look or feel weird or different in some way, so let's celebrate our uniqueness there and be who we are and appreciate that and find a friend or two who can allow us to be our at least sometimes goofy selves, in terms of how we look or act in person or on camera too.'

In my case, I am proud I am atypical when compared to typical others. I am precise with my words, but can hesitate briefly at times when trying to accurately or fully answer a question or to make some comment to my liking, and as I may go off on tangents even, if not just relate some experience which may mean a need to remember details.. I have talked to several here by audio and all seemed fine to me as I do not judge them being atypical in any way as any different or worse than who I am, as I know I am that way too, with my sayings, doings, tone, style, or how I appear with eye contact, facial expressions, etc. So, I would gladly try with the op next week via audio or video after this winter storm passes. Feel free to pm me there for details.

This kind of mind-reading is precisely why I wanted to hang out on voice chat. No, I will not judge you for your appearance. That's indeed the entire point. You're welcome to tell me what's so bizarre about me, though. I'm curious to know why things have been so hard, and I'm way beyond being offended at this point. I'm at a chronological and experiential age where I have a thick skin.

 

[1ForAll]

This kind of mind-reading is precisely why I wanted to hang out on voice chat. No, I will not judge you for your appearance. That's indeed the entire point. You're welcome to tell me what's so bizarre about me, though. I'm curious to know why things have been so hard, and I'm way beyond being offended at this point. I'm at a chronological and experiential age where I have a thick skin.

Great, I think a good topic I would begin with once we start that video conversation is: what makes me feel weird and different in all ways, when compared with typical others, with me giving you details there. Then I would comment on the reply you had there and/or in what you say what makes you feel different and strange from typical others,and we could branch out from there, and by the end we could feel like a beautiful tree or flower Really though, I have thick skin too, but usually know how to word things in a truthful but kind or fair way. It takes a lot to make me upset; I have seen and heard it all before, and know the power of words.

 

[Levitat0r]

Great, I think a good topic I would begin with once we start that video conversation is: what makes me feel weird and different in all ways, when compared with typical others, with me giving you details there. Then I would comment on the reply you had there and/or in what you say what makes you feel different and strange from typical others,and we could branch out from there, and by the end we could feel like a beautiful tree or flower Really though, I have thick skin too, but usually know how to word things in a truthful but kind or fair way. It takes a lot to make me upset; I have seen and heard it all before, and know the power of words.

Oh, no, poor guy. I've long given up attempting to plan social conversations, but that's fine. I know where you're coming from. The answer is both simple and complicated. The answer is nothing makes me feel different! From my perspective, I'm entirely normal, and it's society that is offended by things I am totally unaware of. They don't respect me nor themselves enough to explain what it is that they are offended about, and as far as I can tell, they spiral into a black hole where their own confusion and offendedness is itself offensive and confusing to them, and that's why they cut me off, they turn around, and walk away.

Now, that's my perspective. I'd be happy to hear that missing commentary they refuse to share on their own perspective, and I think the closest you will get is to gather with people who tolerate you and simply celebrate being naturally and inadvertently weird together.

 

[Levitat0r]

I was thinking about this further in the shower just now, and I look at it this way. Imagine that they all represent a bunch of similarly shaped mirrors, and so when they look at each other, they see some familiar variation on things with which they are comfortable and to which they are accustomed. Now, if you come along, and you are reflecting unfamiliar things to them, they recoil in horror and run away, even though it's often ultimately much more a commentary on them than it is on you. It's very unfair, but it unfortunately what I've come to expect.

 

[1ForAll]

Oh, no, poor guy. I've long given up attempting to plan social conversations, but that's fine. I know where you're coming from. The answer is both simple and complicated. The answer is nothing makes me feel different! From my perspective, I'm entirely normal, and it's society that is offended by things I am totally unaware of. They don't respect me nor themselves enough to explain what it is that they are offended about, and as far as I can tell, they spiral into a black hole where their own confusion and offendedness is itself offensive and confusing to them, and that's why they cut me off, they turn around, and walk away.

Now, that's my perspective. I'd be happy to hear that missing commentary they refuse to share on their own perspective, and I think the closest you will get is to gather with people who tolerate you and simply celebrate being naturally and inadvertently weird together.

I think although your position is the same as mine and many others here in that to us who we are feels normal, the one general difference I have with perhaps you and many here is that I am able to know exactly why others do not like me as I not only analyze myself well, but nonverbal cues in others well, besides anything else they do or say. I put everything into context. So, whereas many here could be in a zone and not focus on others as much, for me, it was a necessity, to figure out what they thought of me, from a distance, from being aware of or analyzing how I was acting atypically compared to the masses, and from seeing their atypical expressions, mannerisms and postures towards me which differed when they talked to others, and by comparing it against culture and group norms.

 

[mysterionz]

Anyone interested in video chatting sometime? I had a friend who was autistic, and he just had kind of this flat, tired-sounding tone, not altogether unfamiliar, but he was really funny, and I never found any fault with him, myself. I have a pretty good idea of what we're like; basically resembling people like Rivers Cuomo or Thom Yorke in "style", if you can call it that, given that it's not intentional. I wonder if anyone will ever make a video filter that finally lets us see what the blazes they're witnessing that makes them cringe and walk away, basically while I'm still introducing myself.

I hope you find some participants. Idk if my age would be too much of a turnoff for you OP, I’m 19 almost 20 and you seem to be in your mid 40’s/idk if you have boundaries on the age groups of ppl you interact with.

 

[Levitat0r]

I think although your position is the same as mine and many others here in that to us who we are feels normal, the one general difference I have with perhaps you and many here is that I am able to know exactly why others do not like me as I not only analyze myself well, but nonverbal cues in others well, besides anything else they do or say. I put everything into context. So, whereas many here could be in a zone and not focus on others as much, for me, it was a necessity, to figure out what they thought of me, from a distance, from being aware of or analyzing how I was acting atypically compared to the masses, and from seeing their atypical expressions, mannerisms and postures towards me which differed when they talked to others, and by comparing it against culture and group norms.

Oh, I see differences. The problem is that to me, they are subtle, and to the rest of the world they may mean something specific, and it's often something aesthetically offensive or ugly. If my face or eyes don't move like they expect, I notice it a bit, but to them, it's like witnessing someone with a stump arm, except it's the soul they perceive as unresponsive or not alive. It's terrible, because I think the ideas and feelings I'm expressing contradict that, but they're not contemplating those at all. It's a strictly emotional response, and it preempts any further understanding.

 

[Levitat0r]

I think although your position is the same as mine and many others here in that to us who we are feels normal, the one general difference I

Oh, I see differences. The problem is that to me, they are subtle, and to the rest of the world they may mean something specific, and it's often something aesthetically offensive or ugly. If my face or eyes don't move like they expect, I notice it a bit, but to them, it's like witnessing someone with a stump arm, except it's the soul they perceive as unresponsive or not alive. It's terrible, because I think the ideas and feelings I'm expressing contradict that, but they're not contemplating those at all. It's a strictly emotional response, and it preempts any further understanding.

have with perhaps you and many here is that I am able to know exactly why others do not like me as I not only analyze myself well, but nonverbal cues in others well, besides anything else they do or say. I put everything into context. So, whereas many here could be in a zone and not focus on others as much, for me, it was a necessity, to figure out what they thought of me, from a distance, from being aware of or analyzing how I was acting atypically compared to the masses, and from seeing their atypical expressions, mannerisms and postures towards me which differed when they talked to others, and by comparing it against culture and group norms.

I think it boils down to this. We're looking at the same face and body in the mirror, but the interpretation is vastly different, and you don't get feedback from people who refuse to talk to you because they don't think you're a conscious being.

 

[Levitat0r]

I hope you find some participants. Idk if my age would be too much of a turnoff for you OP, I’m 19 almost 20 and you seem to be in your mid 40’s/idk if you have boundaries on the age groups of ppl you interact with.

Nope, I don't mind talking to you at all, and I'll likely have a lot of old-person advice to share and I will hope you're not offended.

 

[Levitat0r]

Oh, I see differences. The problem is that to me, they are subtle, and to the rest of the world they may mean something specific, and it's often something aesthetically offensive or ugly. If my face or eyes don't move like they expect, I notice it a bit, but to them, it's like witnessing someone with a stump arm, except it's the soul they perceive as unresponsive or not alive. It's terrible, because I think the ideas and feelings I'm expressing contradict that, but they're not contemplating those at all. It's a strictly emotional response, and it preempts any further understanding.

On second thought, I'm a bit horrified at how accurate I suspect this analogy is, and it's among many things where I saw it from afar and I go "That's enough of that perspective. I saw enough.", and what I think I'd rather do is just hang out with people like me, stop attempting to see through the eyes of a person I'm not, and who incidentally, demonstrated hostility or indifference towards reconciliation anyway. I would rather just enjoy having a nature in common with other beings who are just as valid as me, and whom I, personally, do not confuse for soul stumps.

I spent time preoccupied with a certain young woman who committed suicide, and it took me a long time to figure out why her story bothered me so much. She was someone who had tremendous communication difficulties despite being smart and articulate, and that's why her enduring photos consisted of grandiose, sweeping, exaggerated gestures. She was desperately reaching out to people who refused to understand her, right up until she killed herself, and that's heartbreaking.

 

[mysterionz]

Nope, I don't mind talking to you at all, and I'll likely have a lot of old-person advice to share and I will hope you're not offended.

That sounds great some of my coworkers are around your age so I’ve had lots of interaction with older adults

 

[Jumpinbare]

Back in my day, mid forties wasn't old. You guys are young whipper-snappers.

 

[Levitat0r]

That sounds great some of my coworkers are around your age so I’ve had lots of interaction with older adults

lol. "older". I get everything. Lots of people still call me "youngster", and they don't seem to realize I'm like within a few years of them.

 

[Levitat0r]

Back in my day, mid forties wasn't old. You guys are young whipper-snappers.

I've been through a lot physically and emotionally, and my health is not great, so I feel older than my age.