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Want to commit suicide any painless ways?
- Thread starter Tony Ramirez
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Tony the thing with life is you have both good times as well as bad times and it will be this up and downs all thru it. And you WILL run in to speedbumps along the way. This is life Tony. BUT to have a chance to get the good things in life we also need to open up and be ready to take the risks. As many times (Gazillion) i have been burnt/ left behind/ Bullied / or just plain dumped etc.... in life by close dear friends / family etc... I would by your way of thinking live in the woods as a loner never seeing anyone, risk of having any friends (both in real life as well as online) as i can't risk any of this happens. BUT despite all this im still always open to get to know others and even befriend them etc.... All this have been happening to me Time and time again Tony. And yes, i do risk getting hurt every time and sadly yes i do still get hurt. But for me i have learnt to accept that this happens so i just accept it and move on. For me the other alternatives are not even close to be an option.
To have a chance in getting the good things in life and reaching your life's goals and hopes and dreams you also have to be willing to accept that you do risk getting hurt or even not being able to reach said hopes and dreams & then i/ we just had to accept and try to find new more achievable goals.
ALL my life i had to see every dream and hope i had being taken away from me Tony be it material / social life or just about everything else i once dreamt of or indeed managed to get in life by having to fight against all odds to attain. First having it dangle right Infront of me for a certain period making me actually believe that this time it actually seems to happen for me and then it's just taken away from me in one way or another. And sadly, for me it seems this is how my life will be until the end it seems im not meant to get any joy in life other than small temporary and all alone in life.
BUT i still take the risks and i still open up to others and i still dare to dream and hope. I REFUSE to give up on any of my hopes and dreams and i will continue to fight against all odds towards my goals in life Tony. And for you to have any chance in finding friends and or your loved one you need to first stop your self-pity, then get out in the world Tony.
If you don't accept, you're self and embrace life with both the bad / good / taking the risks to have the chance of getting the good how on earth do you think any women will be able to see a way of getting to know you and perhaps become your future wife? Or indeed finding future friends.
Noone said that life was going to be fair nor easy or getting everything handed on a golden plate to you. you have to throw you're self right in the line of fire so to say. So instead of thinking tomorrow i will find my future wife try to think tomorrow i will try to enjoy life and make the best of that day as can and if i happen to find either new friends or my future that's great and im of course happy to see were this will lead. But that's not the main reason im going out as i do have to live my life and making the best of every day.
For me personally im not actively looking for either friends or a future husband BUT im always open to both but in the meantime i just trying to make the best of my life with what i got to work with & if any of this happens GREAT im all in ready to see were this may lead.
And also take it from me Tony feeling sorry for yourself all the time and keep to yourself to not risk getting hurt is NOT going to do anything good for you. The only one that can change your life is YOU. If you are willing to learn and perhaps in some ways change the way you present, you're self to others than you have much higher odds of actually reaching your goal. And from my experience being single you do have problems in befriending both couples and most definitely couples with children. Add to this our diagnosis we have even worse odds of finding reel friends or future loved ones. BUT it's not impossible Tony. But its going to take a lot of yourself as well. if you find that people around you tend to keep their distance from you than you need to take a look at, you're self-dear. What is it that makes people do this? and then see if you can't try to learn how to change, your behavior (as best you can with what you can of course)
This is something i have had to learn myself (if you would have met me say 20 years back well let's just say you wouldn't have met this understanding woman you do today in here but a person so messed up by previous life and spikes always ready to go up on moment's notice and ready to defend myself 24 /7 In short i was a human wreck Tony i didn't trust anyone , everyone was after to get me i was an outcast shunned from being regarded as anyone other than a retard by most around me and the few friends that dared being my friend got blamed for being my friend ) And like many i tried to hide behind my diagnose and if people didn't wanted to accept me then they go take flying hike i am as i am because of my diagnosis nothing i can do about it it's up to others to accept. BUT as time went on i discovered and understood that it was me and my behavior that was to blame for this and i needed to try to learn and change my way & have learnt ever since and still do every day.
Believe it or not im actually Severely introvert and also had to learn and develop into the howling Lonewolf. And i SUCK at social life and small talk etc.... BUT i have learnt and still am (mainly from internet and interacting with people online. But of course, also from reel life by observing how others communicate and behave etc... )
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So true! I have had many hurdles in learning my agency when I was young and worked hard to transcend my loneliness. Nothing comes without effort. I have a feeling that Tony expects things to happen without having to lift a finger and has hostility towards those who may be able to help him.
Au Naturel
Au Naturel
People become married to their trauma and hold it close. It becomes a part of their identity, comforting even. It is more comfortable to go on being what you are than to take the risk and try to become what you could be. It is what you know vrs. the unknown. Even a negative self-image is still your self-image and nobody wants to lose their sense of self.
It isn't all that uncommon. A lot of NTs are that way too.
It is easy to get caught in the loop you describe. With my PTSD and before seeking counseling, my spouse wondered why I would channel that hurt young man, fondling those hated memories like Gollum would fondle his preciousssss.
Au Naturel
Au Naturel
It is really common for people to be advised by their therapist/counselor/ect. that they need to let it go. They can't because they have incorporated it so deeply into their identity that they have become obsessed with it. Might as well ask to cut their arm off. They will hang onto it even though the gangrene is killing them.
And yet once they finally do let it go it is like having a heavy weight lifted off their chest and they can breathe easily again. Obsessions have that kind of grip. My precious...!
I don't feel suicidal anymore. I actually went to life group it was all couples except for one single guy but what got me through it was while waiting for my uber an attractive woman came up to me to ask a question. Then while at life group I accepted that what I see is what I get.
I also feel better after writing an 2 star review of my local park where I was ignored. I have not been there since that useless day 15th.
Check out this review of Cobble Hill Park on Google Maps
https://goo.gl/maps/f13aXbxJSECmtr1w6
I also feel better after writing an 2 star review of my local park where I was ignored. I have not been there since that useless day 15th.
Check out this review of Cobble Hill Park on Google Maps
https://goo.gl/maps/f13aXbxJSECmtr1w6
I don't think that your review is fair. It seems that you gave the park a low rating because you had a bad experience there, but the purpose of the rating system is that you rate the park, not your experience in it, to inform others about the park. You say, "if you want to be left alone you will be, but the park is mostly quiet and clean. The flowers and trees are beautiful to look at, especially in the summer and fall.he park." So don't you think the park deserves more than 2 stars?
Having a wife / girlfriend would be nice for me too, BUT, its not that important... a lot of 'normal' people are single too. My last 'girlfriend' was when i was teenager more than 20 years ago, and i cut her off, because she wanted sex, and i didn't want to be promiscuous, she invited me to her home, so i cut her off,.
There is other stuff in life you have available you can do without obsessing about relationships. And women seek someone that can take care of themselves. I think is not realistic to seek a relationship if you don't have an stable job and live independently, unless you are a teenager or something.
There is other stuff in life you have available you can do without obsessing about relationships. And women seek someone that can take care of themselves. I think is not realistic to seek a relationship if you don't have an stable job and live independently, unless you are a teenager or something.
I know it seems the answer, but it isn't, because even though life seems so mundane, it could change for the better in a blink of an eye, as I have experienced a few times.
I had a similar experience, when I went to our spiritual meeting yesterday afternoon. I did not want to go in person, due to having a bible study in the morning, which knocks me out, but the lady I study with, was going and I felt I needed to be there for her, so I took courage and got dressed for the meeting and even went in early ( usually sit in the car and wait for more to arrive, so that I do not feel I am so alone); well, it did not pan out well, because three sisters started to chat and I felt too shy to approach and join in and my husband was talking to some brothers and felt too demoralised to join him. So, feeling like crying, due to loneliness, I waited outside for my study, but it became quite obvious she was either going to be late or not arrive and the rain was being pushed into the shelter area. However, some other started to arrive and gave me huge welcomes, so that ease my heart.
Was relieved and disappointed when the meeting started, as my study had not turned up and then, whoa, she did! And that was lovely. However, afterwards, one particular sister I feel so uncomfortable around, due to her being hot and cold, started to talk to my study and CLEARLY was not including me, despite my attempt to join in!
I have to go in person on sundays, due to my lovely student, so will go in a bit later, and should escape the lonely feeling.
My husband and I are the poorest in our congregation ( hard pill to swallow) and we do not have children and thus, tend to not be popular.
I am blessed, for I do have my Creator, Jehovah, who calms my heart.
I had a similar experience, when I went to our spiritual meeting yesterday afternoon. I did not want to go in person, due to having a bible study in the morning, which knocks me out, but the lady I study with, was going and I felt I needed to be there for her, so I took courage and got dressed for the meeting and even went in early ( usually sit in the car and wait for more to arrive, so that I do not feel I am so alone); well, it did not pan out well, because three sisters started to chat and I felt too shy to approach and join in and my husband was talking to some brothers and felt too demoralised to join him. So, feeling like crying, due to loneliness, I waited outside for my study, but it became quite obvious she was either going to be late or not arrive and the rain was being pushed into the shelter area. However, some other started to arrive and gave me huge welcomes, so that ease my heart.
Was relieved and disappointed when the meeting started, as my study had not turned up and then, whoa, she did! And that was lovely. However, afterwards, one particular sister I feel so uncomfortable around, due to her being hot and cold, started to talk to my study and CLEARLY was not including me, despite my attempt to join in!
I have to go in person on sundays, due to my lovely student, so will go in a bit later, and should escape the lonely feeling.
My husband and I are the poorest in our congregation ( hard pill to swallow) and we do not have children and thus, tend to not be popular.
I am blessed, for I do have my Creator, Jehovah, who calms my heart.
It's a free country the rating stays. I use to go there for peace and quiet but to always be ignored I been going less. To go to an event there were there was over 20 people and no one approached me deserve a 2 star rating and I been approached randomly in the street just walking or even standing outside from home.
And you are certainly free to continue your self imposed loneliness because you lack the courage to approach anybody and instead snipe from the peanut gallery as you did with that review. Grow up.
How are people supposed to know why you go to the park? Should people who go to the park for peace and quit leave a bad review became someone approached them when they wanted to be left alone?
If you really want something, you have to make an effort to get it. Sitting around waiting and hoping for people to meet your needs will leave you continually disappointed.
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People didn't do what I wanted them to do (seriously, with that attitude, why should they?). Thusly, I am going to blame the venue...(this is 1st grader clique leader logic.) An active review where people are literally seeing who you are and why you are whining. In customer service this is known as Karening.
People are not objects and they owe you exactly nothing. They give you time, you complain about it. They ignore you, you complain about it. Nothing is good enough. This is wrong, that is wrong, this girl exists but won't acknowledge me...so she is deliberately setting out to make me miserable. This is toxic behaviour. People see it, they might tolerate it briefly, but most will avoid it on principle to stave off unwarranted and unwanted illogical drama.
Mongering one's own misery and then blaming it on everyone else when they do reach out is the fastest way to create an outcast status. And it is entirely self inflicited.
People's time, their energy and attention, is a limited resource. Most aren't going to squander it on an interaction they know is going to be laced with complaints, negativity, and appeasement.
That is the key component in all of this. The devaluation of others, their time, and the objectification of people as things instead of living, independent and autonomous beings, who have a right to use their time as they see fit. It is not their job to make sure that those with breathtaking entitlement mindsets are constantly appeased at the cost of their own mental health and well-being.
It is a unique form of self victimization used to elicit pity and attention. In short, it is a manipulation tactic. Usually a very ineffective tactic because it is often rooted in childish attitudes and reactions (blaming, pouting, and pity parties).
e.g.
I didn't get my way so it is the park's fault for being a public green space.
People are not objects and they owe you exactly nothing. They give you time, you complain about it. They ignore you, you complain about it. Nothing is good enough. This is wrong, that is wrong, this girl exists but won't acknowledge me...so she is deliberately setting out to make me miserable. This is toxic behaviour. People see it, they might tolerate it briefly, but most will avoid it on principle to stave off unwarranted and unwanted illogical drama.
Mongering one's own misery and then blaming it on everyone else when they do reach out is the fastest way to create an outcast status. And it is entirely self inflicited.
People's time, their energy and attention, is a limited resource. Most aren't going to squander it on an interaction they know is going to be laced with complaints, negativity, and appeasement.
That is the key component in all of this. The devaluation of others, their time, and the objectification of people as things instead of living, independent and autonomous beings, who have a right to use their time as they see fit. It is not their job to make sure that those with breathtaking entitlement mindsets are constantly appeased at the cost of their own mental health and well-being.
It is a unique form of self victimization used to elicit pity and attention. In short, it is a manipulation tactic. Usually a very ineffective tactic because it is often rooted in childish attitudes and reactions (blaming, pouting, and pity parties).
e.g.
I didn't get my way so it is the park's fault for being a public green space.
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Exactly! He has the affrontery to expect people to penetrate his dark and judgemental affect while he lacks the courage to approach others.
For some that is so hard to learn, that and "no risk, no reward." Hearing from others here who have managed relationships, many have been initiated during the course of living normally, sometimes just taking care of business. In my case it was enjoying recreational opportunities and the Great Smokey Mountains National Park.
I think I will take your suggestion and enjoy a little snuggling. I and others have suggested that you need some real work on yourself, your attitudes towards others, and your ability to engage appropriately with others. I am not the only one seeing your hostility and intransigence towards fundamental self improvement. You want the interpersonal benefits of being social without having to learn and be social yourself. How has that been workin' for ya?
There's only one thing I want to say at the moment really: try to keep in mind that those being critical probably still want the best for you. That's why they're critical. That's why *I* am critical.
Yeah, I know, that's kinda hard to grasp, as it's probably not how it feels, but it is true nonetheless. These things arent said to you to be hurtful... they're said merely because sometimes the tough stuff needs to be said. If I was the one who needed some tough advice, I would expect no less from those trying to help.
Uh... yeah that's all I've got right now.
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